Important Author's Notes!: Okay, so I hate describing classes. Here's the deal-their schedule is different from modern HP. They have one super long class before lunch, and one super long class after. NEWT classes are like Advanced Placement classes, and they combine a few select students from all four houses, and are not taught by the regular teachers. Got it? Good. Also, I'll warn you, the first half of this chapter is awful. I rewrote three times, and still hate it. Hopefully, the second half makes up for it.
Disclaimer: No, it's not mine. Hopefully you know that by now. Want to sue? Well, you'll win a grand prize, shiny, 1988 penny!
Chapter Title: Three; Always
Chapter Summary: The first day of classes. Oh what fun.
Chapter Written: January 26, 2004
~*~
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
--Crash and Burn, Savage Garden
~*~
Sirius, Remus, and Peter hurried into the Great Hall reasonably early, surprised to find James already seated at the table. His head was in his hands, and he lounged as if barely awake. Remus slid into the seat across from him, Sirius next to him, and Peter beside Remus. "Something wrong?" Remus asked, giving James a worried glance before adding sausage to his plate.
"Hmm?" James looked up, as if he hadn't noticed them arrive, "Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I just didn't sleep much."
"Looks more like you didn't sleep at all," Remus pointed out.
"Yea, that might be it." James offered them a weary grin, "I think I spent the entire night trying to figure out something I already knew."
"What?" Remus asked curiously.
"It's nothing," he told him offhandedly, then avoided the subject by elbowing Sirius. "Padfoot, mate, if you eat any faster you won't be able to the taste the food."
"Tafes goo' t'me," Sirius replied, voice muffled by his mouthful of pancakes.
James grinned and piled pancakes onto his own plate, and began eating them at a much more reasonable pace.
"Oh," he said in-between bites, "we got our schedules." He tossed them all a piece of parchment labeled with their names. However, none of them even began to open it. James, finishing up, stared at the roll of classes between fingertips. "First year with different schedules," he said softly.
For the past six years, they had taken the exactly same classes. They had taken the required classes, and had taken identical electives, but things changed this year. Sirius and James were continuing Care of Magical Creatures, while Remus and Peter were instead taking Herbology. What created even more difficulties was the fact that seventh year students had a choice of either NEWT prep classes or basic classes, and the NEWT preparatory classes required extremely high OWL and practical magic exam scores, along with the teacher's personal decision to accept you. NEWT classes spent almost no time on theory, and if you couldn't perform a spell, then you were thrown out. Suffice to say, they were nearly impossible to get placed in, and even harder to remain in.
Remus, glancing around the table, pondered which of them might be accepted into some of these classes. He had strong doubts that Peter had made any NEWT class except, perhaps, Herbology, which he had a surprising knack for. Of course, it was also the only class the others weren't taking, instead enrolling in Potions. Sirius, well, he was powerful enough, but getting the teacher's recommendation would be entirely difficult for him. James, you could never tell with James. He was probably the most powerful of the quartet, but he rarely showed it in his classes. Remus blinked as he glanced down at his own parchment. Theory was his strongest point, and while he was an excellent wizard, it was due mostly to long hours of practice and research. It was possible that he wouldn't make it, because it relied so much on simply being able to perform automatically.
"Alright," Sirius whispered softly, "let's see what we've got."
As one, they unrolled the parchments and stared at their fortune. Peter spoke up first, "I made NEWT Herbology!" He seemed extremely delighted, beady eyes lighting up with joy. "Ha, you owe me a sickle, Padfoot! You said I wouldn't make any NEWT classes!"
Sirius snickered and tossed a sickle at him, as if throwing a coin to beggar. "Good for you, Wormtail. I've got NEWT Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, and Transfiguration."
"Excellent," Moony said briskly, "I made Defense, Herbology, and NEWT Potions. It's too bad about Transfiguration, but it's not quite my forte."
They all turned to James, who was staring wordlessly at his new schedule, as if in shock. "What is, Prongs?" Sirius asked, snatching the parchment from his hands. "Blimey!" Sirius cried, "How'd you manage all these? NEWT Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, and Charms, that's all your classes!"
Remus's brows rose, surprised at the news; being enlisted in NEWT level of every class you had was rare indeed.
"Yea," James said softly, "so what d'you all start with?"
"Basic Charms, and then Basic Potions," Sirius told him. "No classes with you today, mate."
"I'll have Potions with you," Remus told James, "though I have Charms with Sirius and Peter."
"Great, NEWT Charms and no friends, what luck I have," James said sulkily.
"Evans will have made NEWT Charms, it's her best subject," Sirius concluded. "That should be fun, trapped with Evans for the whole morning. She won't be able to escape you." Sirius smirked at James, "You got a plan of attack?"
"Yes," James gave Sirius a small glare, "be there. Meadows is out of Hogwarts now, she's gonna need someone eventually. I'll be there, whenever she does."
"That's it?" Sirius cried incredulously, "That's not an attack, that's a bleeding bout of boring patience and friendship! It'll never work, what girl wants a serious relationship when you can just shag every night?"
Remus snorted, "Not every girl goes for the 'let's shag for a few weeks before I find someone better in bed' approach, Padfoot."
"No, Evans doesn't go for that. Apart from her, there's not a girl in the school who'd deny that kind of… passion. Romance is for after school," Sirius shot back.
"Maybe," Remus said calmly, "just eat, Sirius. We have to leave for charms in five minutes."
Sirius dug heartily into his breakfast, oblivious to the looks of humored exasperation that Remus and James shared.
~*~
Lily practically flew down the hallway, charms book clutched to her chest, and desperate to get the classroom in time. NEWT Charms was located in a different room, as both Basic and NEWT were in session simultaneously. You would think, Lily said silently as she rushed down the corridor, that in my seventh year I would know my way to each classroom. Yet here I am, about to be late to my first class. Bloody hell.
There was the door, she pulled it open swiftly, panting slightly and attempting to collect her breath. By all appearances, she was not late, as the atmosphere in the room was casual and the few students seated within were chatting quietly amongst themselves. She glanced around, searching for an empty seat, and felt her stomach sink. Of course the last seat would be next to Potter. My luck is just dazzling.
Sighing, she resigned herself to stride over, drop her books carelessly onto the table, and drop huffily into the chair. He turned to face her, grinning lightly, "Hello, Evans. Have a nice run?"
She glared in response, and was planning an attack of her own when the door opened. Thirteen students spun to face their new teacher, and grinned in relief as Dumbledore lowered himself into the desk.
"I suppose," he began with a tiny smile, "that you've been told dreadful stories of the NEWT Charms teachers. How can I blame you, when most are so foreign that you can't understand their English?" A few giggles erupted around the classroom. "This year, however, you will not be taught by a Charms Master, but by me. I have decided, due to recent events, that instead of teaching my students diversity I shall teach you myself." A Ravenclaw in the front row wiped away a tear, and all were solemn in light of these 'recent events'.
"Perhaps you've heard that NEWT classes are incredibly challenging, and that by spring at least half of you will no longer be in this class. It is true. I have no doubt that this class will be more difficult than ever before, because you must be prepared. If you want to remain, you will have to work impossibly hard. Most of you will need aid in order to stay another three weeks, I suggest you get it. Despite the effort needed, in the end, it will be worth it. When you are facing the world outside this castle, it will be worth it."
They all sat silently throughout his speech, eyes locked on their headmaster. When he halted, a few traded looks; many nervous, a few determined. When their gazes returned to Dumbledore, he smiled. "Pair off with the person beside you, you're about to learn how to create a glamour."
James glanced to Lily, and she could read the surprise in his eyes. A glamour was similar to such things as the Polyjuice Potion, except that you didn't actually change your appearance. Instead, you changed the worlds perception of you. It was far more complicated than any form of figure-altering potion, and also considerably less painful-if you could perform correctly. The talent of creating a glamour was incredibly rare.
"Very good," Dumbledore said as they stood up to face their partner. "Before we begin, ask yourself a question. Do you trust this person? They will be your partner for the remainder of the year, and if you're answer is no then I suggest you change that very swiftly. Many later charms will require complete trust, and will be completely impossible without full confidence in the other."
Oh great, I have to have complete trust in Potter in order to pass. I hope he fails soon, or else we won't be able to perform the slightest spell.
James only gave Lily a small grin. "How are you, Evans?"
"Fine," she growled.
"Ready to attempt a glamour?"
"If it will change your ugly face, why not?"
He winced, "That's harsh, Evans." He didn't seem to mind, because he suddenly grinned at her scowling features. "Of course, I wouldn't change you a bit. You're the loveliest person I've ever met."
"Shut it, Potter, and pay attention," she snapped, annoyed that he was complimenting her. He had no right to tell her she was lovely, the arrogant bastard.
"Whoever is sitting on the left side, your left, will be the first to attempt the spell. Look at your partner, and try to decide which of their features is most noticeable to you at first glance."
James, sitting on the left, didn't even need to look at Lily to know that her eyes were her most entrancing features. He turned his head to face her anyway, giving her a charming smile. "Seems to me staring is good for school, Evans. Aren't you proud of me, practicing over the summer?"
Lily glared furiously, causing him to want to bite back his words. "Sorry, couldn't help it," James said dejectedly.
"Now, the incantation is very simple. When concentrating on only one feature, you need only say the words 'mutatio visum'. The wand should remain entirely still, directed at the main feature which you are attempting to alter. As you say mutatio, creating an image within your mind of the feature, and only the feature. If you are attempting to change your partner's hair, do not envision their face. If you do so, the glamour will alter the perception of both hair and face. When you say visum, change the feature within your mind. If you want to change the hair color of a person, then imagine it as it changed from blonde to brown-"
"Wait a second," James glanced from Lily to Dumbledore. "Isn't that exactly the same steps that's listed in books that can be used to do things like," he glanced tentatively at Lily, "like changing people's hair to crimson and adding gold sparkles? Only that doesn't have the incantation, it's just this weird wand twist…"
He halted as people stared at him, though Dumbledore was smilingly amusedly. "You've performed it before, James?"
"Yes," he replied hesitantly, still unnerved by the eyes on him.
"It is the same spell. Most people learn the incantation first, then how to do it silently. The silent version is older, and more difficult, because it required concentration with movement instead of with speech. Could you, perhaps, demonstrate?"
"Er, sure, I guess." Demonstrate? I've never had to do anything in front of a class; the whole point is to go unnoticed so when you don't do the homework, they aren't disappointed that such a 'fine student' is being irresponsible. Ack! Scary! He turned to Lily, biting his lip, and she was slightly surprised at the nervous look in his eyes. Thirteen pairs of eyes on his for, James took a deep breath, and calmly flicked the wand directed on Lily Evans eyes.
A moment later, they were sparking a vibrant violet shade, and he was still alive. "Merlin, I hate audiences," Lily heard him mumble.
Dumbledore smiled, "Excellent, James. Was their any pain, Lily?"
"No," she responded calmly, as she picked up a mirror that had been sitting on the desk and stared at her now purple eyes. "A sort of tingle, but it was brief."
"Splendid work, Mr. Potter; remove the charm, and please assist Miss Evans." Dumbledore relayed his instructions, the strolled to the first pair in order to help them.
Lily stood still as he removed the charm, with considerable ease now that people were no longer staring. "Alright, Evans, want to give it a go?"
"Sure," she said coldly, directing her wand at his hair. "Let's see if I can change that horrible mess on your head."
James grinned lopsidedly at her, and for a second, just as she was beginning, she felt her words falter. It was an adorable little grin, with none of his cockiness and filled instead with a sort of sweet laughter. "Mutatio visum," she said solidly, trying to imagine first his ebony, tousled locks and then picturing them as they straightened and fell smoothly in place.
It didn't work.
"Damn it," she whispered fiercely.
"Don't worry, me and Moony spent the entire train ride trying to figure out how to do it properly," James said, trying to be comforting.
"Yes, but you were first years, and it's a NEWT level spell, that you could do it only in a few hours is amazing."
He didn't mention that it had actually taken him all of two tries to change his father's hair to pink, or that Sirius had gotten it on his own first try. It would make her feel entirely disappointed with herself, if she believed him at all.
"Okay, so try it again. Only first, say the words a few times. Make sure you know them, so you don't have to concentrate on the pronunciation or anything. Then, when you're thinking of the change, really want it to happen. Don't just imagine it, do it."
Lily blinked and, much to James's shock, began to mutter the spell to herself. After a few minutes of repetition, she turned towards him again, and followed his instructions.
A moment later, his normally windblown hair fell in a smooth, almost Sirius-like style around his face. Lily beamed, thrusting the mirror into his hand.
James eyes widened, and his hand flew to his head. "Ah! What did you do to my hair, Evans! Change it back!"
Lily laughed, happy enough with her success to comment, "Alright, I guess it looks better the other way anyway."
Dumbledore had arrived beside the pair, smiling. "Beautiful work, Miss Evans, the reverse is much simpler. You need only repeat mutatio visum, and imagine the hair returning to its original form."
Lily did as commanded, and James sighed in relief as his hair returned to its wildly artistic style. They spent the rest of the class changing each other into incredibly grotesque creations, and then proceeding to laugh.
Much to her surprise, Lily Evans had a great deal of fun.
~*~
Sirius left lunch grinning, having spent the entire time laughing with James over James's new favorite class, Charms. I'm glad Evans is finally starting to warm up a bit, maybe James will finally get a girl. I don't understand it, the waiting just for one person. Moony and Prongs are bloody insane.
He was about to eat his… thoughts.
Sirius slid casually into a seat in the back of the potions classroom, tilting his stool back on a single peg as Peter shuffled into the place beside him. Sirius glanced around the room, sighing. Dumbledore's stuck us with Slytherin again. Doesn't the old fool realize that it's only ten times easier to hex them this way?
"Hey Miranda, you look nice today, new robes?" Sirius leaned forward, towards the charming brunette Gryffindor sitting in front of him.
She giggled, "Actually, it's Marissa, and the robes are the same ones as always, silly. Everyone wears the same thing!"
"Really? I couldn't tell, you make them look so dazzling." He gave her charming smile, and she blushed as bright Rudolph's nose.
"Are you flirting with me, Sirius Black?" Marissa asked, giggling cheerfully as her grey eyes chirped with elated mirth.
"I do believe I am, Miss Marissa."
At that moment, Professor Gutenhiem swept into the door, stroking his rather large black mustache. Gutenhiem was a mammoth man, swelling in both height and fat. He had blotchy, reddish skin barely hidden under too-tight grey robes. The man had next to no hair, except for a massive, pointy mustache. He was also incredibly, almost unbelievably, loud.
"Listen up everyone!" His voice roared, much like the roar of a rabid bear. The class immediately fell silent. "We're going to do a few review potions this week, starting with something easy, the Shrinking Solution. Now, I've got you all paired off, listen up!"
"Damn it," Sirius muttered, "I hate it when they pair us up, it's always bloody awful-"
"Black, Howling!"
"-fun," Sirius decided, changing his mind swiftly. Howling looked on with distaste as he sauntered over the seat beside her, giving her an aristocratically undeniable smile as he sat. "So, Howling, having a good day?"
"Not anymore," she responded coldly.
"I'm hurt," Sirius replied, "care to make it up to me later?"
"No," Crystal pointed to the items she had laid out, "start chopping, Black."
No? This was going to be harder than he thought. Obediently, he set to slicing an ingredient, hardly managing a silent minute before his efforts began again. "Have you heard the new song on the radio, the one by-"
"Shut up, Black."
He gaped. She was sitting there, coolly adding something to the cauldron, completely unaffected by his attempts. Howling looked very pretty; he had to admit, with her dark hair crossing over equally dark eyes and shading much of her face from view. If she hadn't been a Slytherin, he might actually have been serious about his playful conversation.
"You make any NEWT classes?"
"Do you not understand shut up? I'm busy, Black, and you should be too," Crystal snapped.
"Looking upon your lovely face makes me want to spout sonnets of absolute jo-"
Sirius found his mouth draw shut as she turned to face him, her eyes holding an eerie amount of steel. "Are you flirting with me?" Crystal did sound at all like Marissa had. Her tone was cold, blunt, and coated with dangerous warning.
However, Sirius was not about to be deterred, "Yes, I am."
"Stop. Now."
"Why?"
"Because the thought of you flirting with me is repelling. You are a disgusting, horrendous creature. Moreover, you are an energetic, emotionally buoyant Gryffindor that has absolutely no sense of the real world and delights in kicking those that do."
Sirius sat speechlessly, head cocked slightly to the side, studying the woman who so blatantly loathed every point of his existence. For a moment, he knew what Prongs felt, facing the full scorn of someone so passionate about their anger. It frightened him, greatly.
And he liked it.
~*~
James ambled into Potions, enthusiastically discussing NEWT Charms with Remus. Or rather, his partner in NEWT Charms. "It was so amazing Moony," James was saying for the tenth time, "I mean, she smiled. Then she laughed. A lot. Have you seen her smile? It's so perfect-"
"Prongs, mate, I suggest you shut up before she hears you." Remus nudged James, pointing to where Lily sat, quietly discussing something with a rather shy Ravenclaw.
James grinned stupidly in her direction, though Lily took no notice, absorbed in her conversation and facing the opposite direction of James's delight. "Two classes with her, Moony! Can you believe it?"
Remus laughed, "You've had every class with her for six years, and you choose this year to be a fool about it. You're an odd one, Prongs." Remus took a seat in the back of the small classroom, James falling into the one next to him. "I wonder who will be teaching this year," Remus mused.
"No idea," James replied, "probably some old, withered bloke who looks like he'd topple over at any second."
The door opened again, and a young, rather beautiful woman entered. She looked about twenty, with chestnut brown hair half drawn into a bun, loose strands splaying delicately about her face. The slender, loose robes of pale green that she wore fell nicely over her tall, elegant frame. She threw a few heavy volumes carelessly onto the desk and turned to face the class, silvery irises glinting cheerfully.
"Andry?!" James choked out, blinking several times, "What are you doing here?"
"Teaching, James," their new potions mistress explained. "It's a wonderful opportunity, and I've been studying in the east for three years, so I can qualify."
The class had turned to observe this greeting, and Andromeda Black seemed to suddenly realize that a dozen and a half eyes had suddenly turned upon her. "Heh, hello," she began a bit anxiously. "I'll be the NEWT potions teacher this year, obviously." She glanced around, "I know most of you already, I think. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Andromeda Black, or I suppose Miss Black is more appropriate now. I graduated a Ravenclaw and Head Girl a few years ago, and was in China for the past few years studying advanced potions. So," she lifted one of the large books on her desk and flipped to a page near the beginning. Waving her wand at the letters, then the board, instructions for a rather difficult potion formed. "Let's begin, shall we? Hopefully this shouldn't be too hard."
James and Remus had just started when she swept over to their table. "It is the right sort of thing to start out with, right?" Andromeda asked quietly, "I wasn't sure. I've never taught before, so it's a bit odd…"
"It's good, An-Miss Black." James paused his work, and gave a funny face, "That sounds so weird."
"I agree, but it'll have to do. How is Sirius doing? Still getting into more trouble than he's worth?"
James tossed something into his cauldron, "Not more than he's worth, but I'm sure trouble will soon be in order. Does he know you're here?"
"No, it was pretty sudden. I think Dumbledore had someone else, but they couldn't make it." She turned towards Remus, "You're Lupin, right? Ron Lupin, or something?"
"Remus Lupin," he offered, "Who'd you study with in China?"
"Ming Cha, she specializes in-"
"Healing, specifically work on curing or controlling lycanthropy, I know." Remus paused, then asked casually, "Is she getting anywhere?"
"I'm surprised you've heard of her, she's not very well known. We were getting close though, just before I left. Cha was working on a sort of sedative, something to calm a werewolf when they transform." Black smiled faintly, "I feel terrible for those that have it. It's an awful disease."
James glanced towards Remus, finding his friend bearing an expression of deep concentration. "I'd better go," Andromeda told the pair, "else I'll be accused of neglecting everyone else."
"You okay mate?" James asked Remus once Andromeda was out of earshot.
"Sure," Lupin turned bright eyes towards his friend. "Wonder if they really are getting somewhere on that sedative thing. It would make it lot easier on you 'n Padfoot."
"Yea, and you..." James trailed off, noting the distant look on his friend's face.
A knock came unexpectedly on the door, and Andry bustled to open it. "Hello?"
"Hello," the voice belonged to a squeaky, chipmunk-like first year Gryffindor James recognized as Alcorn. The poor bloke was terribly excited about quidditch, and knew almost nothing about it, being a muggle born. "Headmaster wants to see James Potter and Lily Evans, he said."
James and Lily stood, beginning to gather their things. "I'll dispose of the contents of your cauldrons, for now. If you get back to late then we'll find another time you can work on it," Andromeda waved her wand, vanishing the ingredients that could potentially be dangerous if left to sit.
James followed the first year from the room, Lily trailing a few paces behind. They walked in silence until reaching the entrance to Dumbledore's office, and Alcorn called, "Cauldron Cakes," leaving James and Lily to ascend the stairs alone.
Entering the office, James smiled comfortably. He had been here too many times to count, and found it no less fascinating on each visit. There was a presence in the room, one that spoke of ancient creations, and yet one that was a modern as tomorrow.
He leaned against the back of one chair, leaving Lily to settle in the other. For a moment, he risked her to wrath to watch her as she gazed wide-eyes around the room.
"Hello Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," Dumbledore greeted them, emerging from a corner unseen. His expression was somber, as James was starting to considerably more frequently. "How are you both?"
"Fine," Lily replied quietly, leaving James to echo her with a similar response.
"Good, good," he offered a small smile, taking the place behind his desk. "I hope I didn't disturb your class too terribly."
"No," it was James turn to answer, "besides, it's not like And-Miss Black minds."
"No, I didn't believe she would." Dumbledore turned his translucent, pale blue eyes on James. "I have a proposition I'm obliged to offer you, James."
"Proposition?"
"The position of quidditch captain is free again," he stated flatly.
James puzzled over his tone for a moment, then stated, "You don't want me to take it."
"No."
"Why not?" He asked curiously, though he had a vague idea as to why.
"You will be busy enough as it is. You still have work to do," Albus reminded him.
James waved a carelessly hand, "I still remember. It's under control, don't worry." He sighed, and ran a hand roughly through his hair, "Couldn't even captain one good year. Oh well, there's also professional. I'll let Sirius have it then, aye?"
"Yes, I do believe Mr. Black sounds like an excellent candidate." Dumbledore nodded, before turning his focus to Lily. "I need to speak with Lily alone now, James. It will only be a minute."
James grinned in agreement, grabbed his books, and half jumped down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom, however, he found himself in a dilemma. Should he wait for Lily, or just head to back potions? On the one hand, leaving would seem cold and a bit rude, while staying might make him appear clingy and awkward. Pacing in front of the stone entrance, he was quite shocked when Lily suddenly rushed down the stairs, shoving him to the side as she flew down the corridor.
He blinked. She was crying… Oh no, Lily was crying. In a heartbeat, he was dashing madly after her, a scene becoming more common for the pair. Robes fluttering behind him, James raced through hallway after hallway, unable to catch the nimble girl. At last, she entered the head common room, leaving him to leap breathlessly in behind her.
Lily had crumpled onto the sofa, tears pouring her down her cheeks as sobs wrecked her petite figure. Her face was buried in her hands, and she was rocking delicately, back and forth on the furniture. The grief poured from her in the form of saltwater, coating her hands and robes.
Hesitantly, James drew nearer. "Lily?" He spoke softly, edging slowly closer, "Lily, what's wrong?" If anything, her tears only poured harder, wails drawing a touch louder. "Lily?" He tried again, now stopping several inches from her rocking frame.
"Mrs. Meadows," she managed to gasp out. "Mrs. Meadows, one of those others… Oh!" Lily burst into hiccupping gasps.
James kneeled slowly, taking up an almost squatting position. "Mrs. Meadows? Was she?-oh no."
She let out a cry, causing James to wince. James drew one hand away from her teary face, slowly, clasping in both of his own. "Oh, I'm so sorry Lily. I know what Dorcas, what her mother, what that must mean…" He tried to imagine Remus's mother dead, and fought the thought terrifying. A friend's parents were simply family that you weren't blood related to, to lose them… "I'm so sorry, Lily." He stoked her hand, running gentle fingers in circles over her palm.
"You don't know," Lily choked out, "you don't understand. You can't understand. She… you can't understand…"
"I know," he told her softly, "I don't understand. But I can try. I-"
"No, you can't!" She cried, "You can't! You just need to leave me alone, Potter! Just leave me alone!"
He paused, then, ever so softly, reached out to brush her hair with his fingertips, pushing it gently behind her ear. The other hand continued to hold hers, while he tenderly let the other stroke her hair over and over. "I know you don't want me here Lily, but I am. Whether you want me or not, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you Lily. Always."