Sorry about having to remove this chapter. I am now reposting it, edited. I made a mistake last night when I was posting because my computer was freezing up so much and I want to apologize for the inconvenience. I want to say sorry to my bestest online friend, and father of all my future children... *LOL* just kidding. Had to say that Supes... you know that right??? I Luv ya... you know that. Anywho... without further delay... here's the edited version. I hope anyhow.
Nursie
***Nursie Note***: Hey all... I've been getting plenty of emails and reviews and I am truly sorry about the delay in the updates. Who knew real life would become so hectic lately! Whew! Well, I figured I go ahead and post something. Just so ya'll know, the next part after this is a continuation of this part. I figured I'd go ahead and just post this although I know some of you fellow NC-17 lovers are anxious for some action. You'll get it in the next chapter... I promise. This just leads up to it.
Again thanks for the kind reviews, I can't tell you what they mean to me!
Hugs
Nursie
Part 11: Release-
Harry blinked hard, trying to see through the cloud of steam he walked into as soon as he stepped inside. He quicklypointed his wand at the door knob, whispering a locking charm he knew Hermione wouldn't be able to break once she realized what he had done. He breathed out slowly, relieved for a brief second, then arched his brow as heremembered why he was there. Adding a silencing charm to the room, he held his breath again, his heatbeat pounding in his ears. He boldly took a step forward towards where the steam was rising from behind the sliding glass doors of the huge walk-in shower. He noticed within seconds that his vision was more than a little impaired as the steam began fogging up his glasses. He inched closer, watching the blurred shadowy figure behind the glass.He frownedas his glasses made it almost impossible to see.
Thinking through spells that might help his situation, because he knew his wasn't going to be able to keep Hermione in without being able to see her somewhat clearly, he quickly remembered a spell Hermione herself had used on him before. He only hoped that since it repelled water, steam would be within the same classification.
"Impenvius," he whispered, swallowing hard as he watched the figure behind the glass. She wasleaning against the wall as she sat on the ledge that protruded out on one side of the spacious shower. Harry could barely make out the dark outline of her body as he stared.Her legs were drawn up so that her chin rested on her knees. He blinked hard, trying to adjust his eyes. He smiled slightly as the outline came backinto focus. His smile faded shortly. His stomach twisted into knots and he tried to swallow again, finding his mouth had gone completely dry.
"Fuck!" He cursed under his breath.
He had to discover some way to be on equal terms with Hermione to take a little off the embarrassment she was going to have once he stepped inside those doors. That was when the fact that she was naked behind those same doors set in completely. He closed his eyes, trying to fight the image forming in his head as his mind skimmed over the highlights of his last encounter with her. Suddenly his body started reacting to his thoughts. Hearing the shower raining water down around her andknowing she was within arms reach was making it rather hard to breathe. His hand went to the collar of his shirt to loosen it, suddenly feeling as constricted as if he were wearing his school tie. His fingers tugged at the neckline as he realized he wasn't wearing his school uniform shirt, and he couldn't simply undo any buttons. It was a plain old pull-over shirt, which he promptly stripped over his head anddropped it somewhere behind him. He stood there in his jeans and shoes, gathering his courage. Heknew full well she was going to scream when she first saw him. She'd probably hex him worse than one of Ginny's bat boogey hexes. The truth was, a part of him probably thought he deserved it for intruding on her privacy this way.
~ It's the only way. You haven't been able to get her alone and she needs to know how you feel. Just what is it that you are going to tell her?~ He asked himself, frustrated with his attempts at stalling.
He toed off one of his sneakers, then the other. Helost his balance a bit, and grasped for the wall. His hand came down hard against it with a louder thud than he would have liked. "Oh, shit!" he cried, instantly turning red and slapping his hand over his mouth.
"Hello?!" Hermione called out. "Is someone there?" He could hear her feet splatter water as they crossed over to the door. Harry panicked, his eyes wide and his hand still over his mouth. Her hand was now on the railing, ready to push the sliding doors to the side. "Ginny... I told you I was taking a shower," she said absently as she slid the door back, preparing to walk over to the main door and chastise her friend for having the nerve to intrude on her while in the bath. The doors slid sideways as Hermione stuck her head out into the steam filled bathroom. Her eyes rested on Harry, who had dropped his arms to his sides, and at least had enough sense to look her straight in the eyes.
"HARRY!!!" Her scream was so loud that Harry was surprised the mirror didn't break. She went to slam the sliding door shut but Harry reached out and grabbed it first. Hermione took a step back into the shower, crossing her arms across her chest trying to conceal herself the best she could.
"Do I scare you, Hermione?" Harry asked calmly as he cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice even and low, stepping into the shower himself. He was barely aware that he was now under the shower spray as he took another step towards her. He blinked his eyes slowly, then concentrated his gaze on her face. He wasn't there for a thrill. He knew that, and desperately tried to act accordingly. Hermione gave him a hard look. Her stare held more in it than Harry could make out, and he released the breath he was holding when she finally answered him.
"No," she said in a small voice, butthen looked back up at him with such fire in her eyes that Harry knew he was in trouble. "HOW DARE YOU!"
"You wouldn't talk to me! I couldn't think of anything else!" Harry cried in defense. "You barely even look at me anymore!"
"What do you expect, Harry? A pat on the back? Maybe some words of encouragement after what you did!"
"WHAT I DID?" Harry yelled back. His temper was rising. He knew he had taken advantage of the situation the last time, but her screaming at him made him want to scream back. "HERMIONE, I don't even want to know where you get your delusions! As I recall, YOU were the one that walked away from me! And you didn't just do that did you? You smacked me for no good reason!"
"Why should I have stayed? Why, tell me? So I could be your 'warm-up' for the main event... HARRY?!" She stepped forward rather than back, saying his name with a disdain. Harry found his eyes wavering for an instant before he regained his control. "You've had plenty to say to someone else anyhow, now haven't you!"
"IF you would have stopped to ask me, you might have been surprised at my answers, HERMIONE!"
"Oh sure! 'Professor Warren! Oh Willow! Why don't you come to my room! I'm head boy! Want to help me make that title a bit more accurate!' That's what you were doing when I needed you. No matter what this whole past term, that's where you were!"
Harry paused. So that was it. Hermione was jealous of Professor Warren. That seemed a little off. If she had just said something to him, then she would know his thoughts on her. She wasn't his favorite person and he suspected she was up to something. Hermione knew he hated secrets and especially people that kept things from him. Without realizing it, he heard himself yelling before he could think about what he was saying.
"What do you mean I wasn't there when you needed me?! If anything, it's the other way around, HERMIONE!" He made sure to emphasize her name in the same way she had said Professor Warren's. "I've been through hell these past few days, and you were nowhere!" he seethed nastily. "I seem to recall you all over me the last time we were alone, asking me to do things no friend should ask unless they want to ruin a friendship!"
"I don't recall you complaining much at the time!" Hermione screamed.
"Your tongue was so far down my throat it was a little hard to talk, now wasn't it! What would you have me do? I'm seventeen, and I'm of the male gender! I'm not running off to join a sanctuary anytime soon, although if I thought it might save your life I'd do it!"
Hermione blinked, shifting her eyes slightly. They settled on Harry's, confused and angry, but before she could determine which emotion was the strongest, Harry had already jerked his face sideways. She watched him turn away from her as if it were some sort of nightmare... that it really wasn't happening. By the time his words had sunk into her brain, he was no longer standing in front of her. She heard him hiss an incantation and then the door lock clicked over. She barely made it to the open shower door to see his sopping wet mop of dark hair exit the room. She grasped for the towel hanging on the wall nearest to her. Feeling the softness enclose around her searching hand she yanked it hard from where it hung. It released into her hand, wall fixings and all, as she brought it to the front of her andheld it tightly to her chest. She blinked, feeling warm tears falling down her cheeks, for the first time being able to tell that they were tears and not just the spray from the shower. She sank to the floor in a state of shock, Harry's words echoing through her head.
******
Harry had no clue where he was heading. He only knew he had to get away from that one room. Well, not just that one room, from everyone. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. There was the small issue of him being half dressed and soaking wet from head to toe, but that was the least of his worries. He was appalled at himself for having said those things to Hermione. What frightened him the most was that he had meant everything he said. He only wished he could have said it a bit better.
He finally found himself in a room he used to visit often when he was in a similar mood. It was dark, and the only time someone came in was to feed Buckbeak. His eyes shifted over to where Buckbeak laid back on some cushions, fuffling through his feathers. He had stopped for a split second to acknowlege Harry's company but instantly went back to grooming himself as if he was awaiting the company of a female hippogriff. Harry squinted around the room. He had left his shirt and glasses in the bathroom with Hermione. Not to mention his trainers. He wrapped his arms around his chest and shivered a bit from the draft the room held. He turned to the fireplace. Pulling his wand from his back pocket, he pointed it towards the empty fireplace.
"Tolkenona." Harry spoke evenly in a low undertone. Buckbeak looked up again once the fire roared to life and filled the room with firelight. Harry walked around the huge sofa in front of him and sat down on it, trying to warm himself by the fire. After several minutes passed, he quickly realized his jeans were way too wet for the fire to do him any good. He stood, unbuttoning his pants and looked around the room towards the queen sized four poster bed. He strided over to it quickly, yanking the large, somewhat dusty comforter from its matteress, his pantshanging from his hips. He threw the comforter down onto the sofa and proceeded to pull his legs from the wet material. He debated a bit on whether or not to take off his boxers, but after about two seconds of the wet material clinging to his private area and the draft hitting them oh so right, he discarded them, hanging both his jeans and boxers by the fireplace hearth in the attempt to dry them. He sat finally, listening to Buckbeak knaw at an itch, and pulled one sock at a time off his cold feet. He grimaced as he wrang them out, seeing the water fall onto the wooden coffee table. He tossed his socks towards the rest of his clothes with a sigh. They were the least of his worries.
He felt for the crimson colored comforter and settled himself as comfortable as he could on the sofa and stared at the fire.
~ How peaceful it can seem when you are by yourself.~ He pondered after some time, watching the blurry flames dance around in orange, red, yellow and occasionally blue color.
Harry settled in once more prepared to sleep just as he was, or at least hoping to sleep. His mind could make that rather difficult. Just after he had tried to close his eyes and gotten it in his head that the random noises he was hearing were merely Buckbeak moving around, he heard the door start to creak open.
Harry opened his eyes to stare once more at the firelight. Sighing, he relented himself to the fact that he had known someone would come looking for him. Especially if he weren't in his bed when Ron came in to call it a night.
"Ron," Harry said a bit hoarse, sounding as if he'd been crying or screaming or a bit of both. "I've made a right mess of everything tonight and I really don't feel like being around anyone right now. Please, would you just go back to our room and let me sort some things out?" Harry pleaded with his visitor but didn't remove his gaze from the blur of the fire.
"Harry,"a timid voice said softly. "I... um... well, I, you left your glasses in the bathroom earlier. I thought you may need them so I thought maybe I'd find you and return them." The voice that spoke was as hoarse as his and every bit as troubled.
Harry recognized the voice immediately and jerked up into a sitting position, seeing the fuzzy edges of the person he cared most about in the world, be it Muggle or Wizard.
"Hermione," Harry replied in a whisper as the shame and anger at himself flooded back into his chest. Hermione reached out her hand to return his glasses. When it was obvious that Harry could not see enough to find where her outstretched arm was, she proceeded to unfold them and place them on his face.
Harry winced as he saw her hands coming towards him but he was suddenly grateful when he could make her out clearly. Her hair was dry, he figured she must have at least dried off before coming to look for him. He noticed her long frizzy golden brown hair was pulled back in a rubberband as his eyes drifted from her hair to her body. She was wearing the shirt he had discarded in the bathroom and that was all he could see.
He blinked, removing his gaze to the fire once again. "What are you doing here?" he asked. This time it wasn't a cold tone, but distant none the less. Hermione froze. "Did you come to argue with me some more about my behavior the past few days?"
There was a brief pause as Hermione walked around to the front of the sofa. "No," she answered sadly. "May I sit down?"
"Go ahead. You were going to anyway weren't you?" Harry replied back evenly, his tone holding no trace of emotion.
She sat down. "Harry, don't be like that. We've been friends for a long time now. I can't imagine my life without you and I can't remember my life before you." She rested a hand on Harry's bare leg that had found it's way into the open air from under the satin comforter.
Harry jerked a little but didn't move his leg. Her touch sent a flash of nerves straight down his spine.
"I've been a monster, Harry. I'm surprised you didn't throw me out just now. Especially after everything I said in the bathroom." Hermione looked away from Harry and into the fire, wondering what was so intriguing there that held his attention.
"That's not true, Hermione. This rift between us wasn't because of what happened in the shower..." He sighed, pulling his eyes from the fireplace to look at her. "Nor was it that night in the common room. Although, I assume that was the trigger point."
"I should never have forced you into something you didn't want Harry. It was so obvious that you didn't have those sort of feelings for me." Hermione's blush was evident even in the shadows of the firelight. "I mean honestly, us... together... I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so frightened about what happened to Ginny that I wasn't thinking like myself." She chuckled nervously and Harry looked at her, confused.
"So you think this happened because I don't fancy you that way?" Harry cried. Merlin, and he thought he was thick about the opposite sex.
"Harry, I would like very much if we could just go back to the way it was. I've missed you these past few days... weeks... and with everything that has been happening with me and this new power of mine, I got a bit confused." Hermione spoke softly, and it was evident to Harry she was on the verge of crying. He knew her well enough to know when she was sad... he also knew when she was lying. And at that particular moment, Hermione Granger was lying through her perfectly shrunken teeth.
He arched an eyebrow, staring at her skeptically. His heart was racing, and other parts of his body began reacting as wellto her small hand gently rubbing his leg near his ankle.
Hermione chanced a look at Harry, hoping he hadn't caught her in her lie, as her mind was catching upwithhis end of the conversation in her head. She instantly caught the look on Harry's face, and, at the same time...
"Nor was it that night in the common room..."
"What do you mean it wasn't that night in the common room? That's the night things got weird between us. That's the night you rejected me." Her bottom lip trembled but her resolve was strong. She eyed him with one of her looks that burned straight into his soul, ordering him to tell her what he meant.
"You finally caught that?" He moved his arm to run his hand through his hair, a habit he had recently picked up of his father's without realizing. The comforter fell from his shoulders to his lap and Hermione gasped when she realized he wasn't wearing anything underneath the warmth of the comforter. "What? It's nothing you haven't seen before."
"Well, I've never actually seen it," she mused, pretending to pick lint from Harry's shirt, which was inching dangereously up her thigh, sending those same sparks of electricity down Harry's spinal cord. He felta tad light headed from the blood rushing from his brain to the lower half of his body.
Harry tried to maintain a straight face. Her reaction was definitely something he was enjoying. It had been a whilesince he and Hermione could sit like this and just talk. Although the topic of conversation was never anywhere remotely like this. He cleared his throat to attract her attention. "So, you want to get our friendship back?"
"Don't you?" Hermione answered, her face looking hopeful that she had not lost at least that part of Harry.
Harry took a deep breath trying to catch her wonderful brown eyes. He found himself having trouble doing so because the draft in the room had hit Hermione just so, and, not that he didn't find the way she filled out his shirt hot before, but now, it tented two pebble size nipples. Harry caught himself as his tongue darted from his mouth to lick his dry lower lip.
"Are you cold?" he asked, but at the same time Hermione had opened her mouth to speak.
"Are you thirsty?" she had said after watching him lick his lips.
Harry shook his head at the innuendo, smirking to himself what Fred and George would have said in this particular situation.
"Yes," Hermione shivered.
"I could use a spot of something," Harry answered noticing Hermione bring her arms around and cross them against her chest. He watched her try to warm her arms with her hands by rubbing them against her skin. "Would you like to share the comforter with me?" he finally asked, grabbing for the excess that had fallen on the floor and leaning over to cover her leg with it.
Hermione grabbed for it and pulled her legs up underneath it, thenpulled it upover her shoulders. Only her head remained free of the comforter. As she wiggled, it slid more off of Harry and he had to grab it to keep it from going past his waist.
"Would you like some butterbeer?" Hermione motioned towards the coffee table. There, sitting in what looked like a muggle thermus was the butterbeer that Hermione had somehow brought with her. Harry notioned that she had brought it in when she had come along with his glasses. He must not of been paying much attention when she sat it down.
He reached over, grabbed it and unscrewed the top. He took a drink from it then passed it to Hermione. "Here. It's still warm. It'll help you warm up a bit."
"Well of course it's still warm silly. I only charmed it to that temperature. Duh." She laughed.
Harry's heart gave a joyous leap. To hear her laugh again felt more wonderful than anything... well, almost anything. She handed the drink back to him and he accepted it gratefully.
"So we're okay now. Right Hermione?" he asked.
"Sure we are Harry. You know we can't fight for very long," she said,shaking her head.
Harry took a deep breath, deciding whether or not to tell her how he felt. His emotions were growing heavy on his heart. If he admitted it to himself, he didn't want to be just friends with Hermione, and right then he wasn't thinking about anything or anyone past that room.
Hermione must have picked up on something because she was staring at him intently, wonder written across her face. "Harry... What are you think..." But she wasn't able to finish her sentence.
Harry was afraid he'd fumble the words, and he didn't want to think rationally about what he was about to do. If he thought about it, it would just end up like the last time, and he didn't want that to happen. So he did the first thing that came to his mind. He almost literally pounced over to Hermione's side of the couch, cradled her head in his hands, running his thumbs along her jawline.
"think..." Her words were lost in the electric air as both felt the pull of something bigger than both of them locking their eyes together. Harry's lips decended onto Hermione's gently. His nerves caused him to catch her bottom lip instead of her full mouth, but he played it off as if he had meant to do so. He opened his mouth on hers, feeling her respond in kind, brushing his tongue on her bottom lip where he had started the kiss. Softly, he pulled her bottom lip with him as he pulled back to look her in the eyes. Hers were stillclosed, but he couldn't mistake the look on her face as they fluttered open.
"Harry?" she whispered hoarsely, smiling. "Why did you...?"
"I didn't reject you, Hermione. I wouldn't have been nearly as into it that night if I wasn't attracted to you, or if I didn't habor those sort of feelings for you." He traced her lower lip with his thumb. "You out of all people know that I have a lot to deal with. That there is a lot going on in my head. That sometimes I'm not myself because of it. You and Ron more or less are the reason I am still alive today. But mostly you're the reason I keep going. I couldn't live in a world without you. I don't want to live in a world without you. You're my best friend, you have been here with me through everything the wizarding world has thrown at me. You challenge my brain and my magical abilities, and for some time now... longer than I care to admit... and..." Harry kissed her softly again, tasting the tears that had started falling from her unblinking eyes. He grasped her handand intertwined his fingers with hers, then placed the back of her hand on his chest so she couldfeel his heart beat. He pulled away from her again and Hermione realized just how close he was to her. He brought their locked hands down his chest, over his stomach muscles that seemed way more defined that she recalled, and finally released her hand from his. He rested it on top of his erection, sucking in oxygen through his teeth as her small hand touched the hot skin. "and..." He whispered, kissing his way towards her earlobe. "You excite me more than any mere witch or muggle could do." He groaned, taking her earlobe between his lips as Hermione ran her hand down the hardened length of him. Shegrasped him gently at the base of his gender. Harry let the hand cupping her face slide down her neck, over her collar bone and finally take her breast into the palm of his hand. Giving a slight squeeze he growled throatily. "How could you ever think that I wouldn't want you? Not even as a friend. Hermione, can't you feel how much I want you?" He was now kissing her cheek again, tracing over the tear tracks and pushing her further downward into a lying position. After a moment, Harry pulled back once more and realized that he had somehow managed to find her lying under him. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face and leaned his weight on his elbow, propping himself up and off of her a bit. His mind slowly returned, but knowing full well what he had done because of the slow movement that Hermione's hand had started where he had placed it. He bit at his lip, forcing himself to try and calm down so that they both could make this a rational decision.
Hermione could see the clouded-over look in Harry's eyes start to disappate as the clearness of the emerald color started to reappear. She brushed his bangs away from his forehead and traced over his scar with her index finger. She smiled up at him lovingly. "Funny, how we seem to end up in this position everytime we talk these days. Maybe fate is trying to tell us something," she said, trying to read into Harry's reaction so that what had happened the last time didn't happen again.
"Yes... funny," he agreed. He smiled this time, and bent down to kiss her again.
"What now?" She asked a bit timidly as she noticed his eyes start to distance themselves. Fearing he might pull away from her again she wrapped an arm around his midsection and searched to catch his eye again.
"Are you still here with me?" She asked as Harry blinked and came back to the present.
"I'm here..." He whispered burying his face into the crook of her neck and shoulder.
"Are you sure?" Hermione questioned feeling him breath in deeply.
Harry finally looked up at her. Pushing himself up and off of her with his arms, he nervously wrapped what he could tie together of the comforter around his waist as he stood. He reached a hand out to Hermione.
Her face questioned him for an instant as she reached her hand out to him and he pulled her plush against him with one forceful tug of his arm. She squealed as her body came in contact with his and his other arm snaked it's way around her waist. The look in his eye was unreadable as he took a step backwards pulling her with him. She followed him smiling wondering what was going on in his head until she saw the look that he was giving her once she felt the back of her leg against the mattress of the old four poster bed. She raised her hand to touch his cheek as she caught his green eyes.
"Harry?" She whispered a bit unsure.
"I need you to do something for me." Harry said looking intently into her eyes.
"What would that be?" She smiled.
"Make me forget what's going on outside this room... if only for tonight." He blinked and looked away as if almost ashamed at what he was asking but Hermione's hand was still on his cheek. She pulled his face even with hers and smiled as she leaned up to kiss him softly on his mouth.
"Harry... I... love you." She finally said feeling her body gently being pushed downward onto the bed behind her.
To be continued...
Part 12:Consumation-