Part Two Mysteries of the Mind-
Harry closed the door behind him. He let out his breath in relief and turned around looking at his new room for the first time. He had managed to somewhat act normal throughout the feast and then preformed his Head boy duties without error. Although there was an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach that Hermione had noticed something was going on inside that head of his. He bit his lip as he crossed the room and took a seat on his four-poster bed.
He didn't doubt he was tired. His mind had been in over drive since his birthday. The woman that had visited him that day was now at Hogwarts and he still had no idea what her purpose was. She hadn't visited him again. Her visit had only left him with questions that he knew he wouldn't know the answers to. He had hoped she would turn up again during the summer and explain herself in detail but yet it looked like his last year at school would yet again be filled with something he had to overcome. He cringed. He had known that he would have to face what the prophecy at the ministry had foreseen but Harry still didn't know if he was strong enough to actually be what the wizarding world wanted.
~I'm just a boy. ~
He reasoned. However that excuse was quickly becoming less of one by the minute. It was clearly evident especially if he looked into a mirror. There, staring back was no longer an uneducated eleven-year-old kid who never knew he was a wizard. He looked more like a slightly younger version of his father from the pictures Hagrid had given him at the end of his first year. His body had definitely caught up with his age. He had proven he was strong… that indeed he could do extraordinary things… As he was told in his first year by several people although at the time Harry had not clue as to what they had meant. If last year wasn't proof of that then he didn't know what was. Well, maybe the year before when he had lost Sirus or even when he carried Cedric's lifeless body back to Hogwarts from the cemetery Or just maybe… maybe… It was pulling Godric Gryffindor's sword from the sorting hat. Harry just didn't know.
And what was it that Professor Warren was trying to tell him. Why had she come in the middle of summer when she obviously knew she could warn him of whatever in the fall?
Harry grumbled as he kicked off his shoes. Then cursed like a sailor when his big toe connected with the bed frame's leg. He impatiently waited for the pain to travel from his foot to his brain so that he could think of something other than how much it hurt and how stupid it was to kick off his shoe in the close proximity of his bed frame. There were other pressing matters. His mind went directly where he had been avoiding it to go though. Straight to Hermione and for a second he actually debated kicking the bed frame again.
~ No need ending up your first night back in hospital with broken toes and a bottle of skele-grow just because you were a stupid git and kicked your bed frame out of frustration. ~ Harry made disgusting face at the memory of the taste.
His heart had stopped earlier that day on the train when she had entered the compartment greeting them then went off to search for her cat. Saying he was glad to see her would have been an understatement… He had almost excused himself to the lavatory. After she had returned and Ron pointed out her body jewelry though… Harry thought he was done for. If Ron hadn't acted like a Muggle father with a gun rack filled with loaded shot guns… Harry would have had a lot of explaining to do. Especially about the mess he would have made in his jeans. That would have been fun to explain.
~Uh… sorry guys… I must have had one of George and Fred's jelly gushers in my pocket. ~
Yeah… he could just see explaining that one. Not only trying to make the mess look innocent, which would be unavoidable, but also the swelling in his pants. He made a face as he realized how close Crookshanks claws actually were… and then sighed his appreciation at the fact that Crookshanks had hidden the evidence of Harry's reaction to a simple piece of naked Hermione skin.
Harry sat down once again and stripped off his sweater. His hand went to his neck and loosened his tie more than a little roughly pulling the hair at the nape of his neck. Tearing it over his head, he slowly began to unbutton his shirt. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand.
Harry pushed the white shirt over his shoulders and started to undo the buttons at the cuffs when he heard a faint knock on his door. He blinked in confusion but strided over to the door yawning.
"Who… who is it?" He asked his voice off almost an octave.
"What are you doing in there?" A familiar female voice asked.
Was it Hermione?
Harry sighed. That was all he needed. He opened the door a crack and peeked out at her.
"What are you doing here?" He asked her eyeing her.
"DO I need a reason to talk to my best friend?" Hermione cried. Harry was sure she could be heard in the common room downstairs. "Honestly Harry… you've been acting weird all day." Hermione pushed on the door and Harry felt a draft blow by him and assumed it was coming from the hallway.
"I'm not dressed." Harry said quickly trying to keep her from coming in.
"Ask me if I care Harry. You've been acting strange all day. I'm here to find out why."
"Where's Ron?" Harry said stepping back to let her in.
"I thought you said you weren't dressed." Hermione teased as she entered.
"Well… I wouldn't have been if you had been two more minutes." Harry slid the rest of the way out of his shirt and threw it in the vicinity of his trunk. "So… let's have it then. What do you want to talk about?"
Hermione furrowed her brow trying desperately not to look at Harry. "May I?" She asked motioning towards Harry's bed.
Harry just nodded. He crossed over to his trunk looking for his pajamas. Finding them he walked over to Hermione. "Did that hurt?" Harry asked trying to lighten the mood.
Hermione looked confused for a moment until she looked down at her bare stomach where her tank t-shirt rode up seeing the silver and green jewel hooked into her skin. "Oh that." She shrugged. "If you are going to lecture me… Ron's already…"
Harry cut her off. "I'm not going to lecture you." His voice was a mixture of something Hermione had not heard in his tone before. "I think it looks…" Harry searched for a word to say. "Nice…" He added choosing the safest of the words going through his head as he wondered where she had gotten the pajamas she was wearing.
"Did you hurt yourself Harry?" Hermione badgered back.
Harry arched an eyebrow sending his scar hiding behind his messy dark hair.
"Hurt myself?"
"Yeah… paying me a compliment. I do believe it's the first in a while." She chided.
Harry blinked and ran a hand through his hair. "I've paid you loads of compliments before. I've always gone on and on about how smart you are."
"Oh yes… books and cleverness." She shook her head. "Aren't you going to put them on?" She motioned towards his pajamas.
"How'd you expect me to do that? You're standing right there." Harry answered. "Which reminds me, you never did tell me why you are here. Or where Ron is for that matter."
"What… you can't just talk to me?" She screamed. Harry flinched a bit at the anger in her voice. "It's got to be Ron as well? Harry. It's obvious that you are keeping something from us. You've been at the Burrow for weeks now and haven't said a word to Ron about what's bothering you. I thought you might talk to me." She shrugged a bit and pretended to tighten the drawstring on her own pajama pants.
Harry went silent staring at her. "Don't do that." He said with a little more force than he had wanted.
"Do what?" Hermione asked bewildered. "Ask to talk to my friend?" She proceeded to untie and retie her drawstring.
"No…" Harry gulped. "That." He said through clenched teeth. Harry quickly stood up holding his pajamas in front of him.
~ I won't do it… I won't attack my best friend. She doesn't understand what she's doing. She doesn't know… ~
Harry took another step back and tried to swallow but his mouth had somehow gone dry all of a sudden as he felt the slack in his trousers going tight and winced while the crotch of his pants begin to peak out. His face going pale as the blood rushed from his head to his groin and it rubbed against his zipper.
~ Bloody hell Harry… you can't be that bad off. It's bad enough when I'm alone… She can't see me like this… She's my friend and I don't deserve her… ~
"Hermione… I think you should go." Harry couldn't think of any thing else to say. His tone was almost pleading but there was a hint in it telling her to stay. He wrung the material he held in fisted hands.
"Harry?" She questioned softly. "What are you hiding?" She leaned back against the mattress just so and Harry stifled a groan by trying to clear his throat.
His knuckles turned white as his fists twisted tighter. He flicked his tongue over his top lip watching her as she began to play with the jewel in her navel.
"I'm waiting Harry." He heard her say as his mind contemplated the innuendo of her words. He hadn't even begun to deal with his feelings towards her. He could feel the strength of them pressing painfully against his clothing.
~ Come on Harry… you wouldn't even know what to do with it if you… she's waiting for you to answer her you silly git. Oh lordie what is she doing to you? All you can think about is striding over there and… and what Harry? Kissing her? Perhaps touching her… ~
He desperately wanted to banish the taunting voice inside his head that always showed up when he was in this state.
Small beads of sweat started to spring to Harry's forehead. He growled audibly as he realized he wouldn't be able to hide his erection much longer.
~You simply must do something about that sooner or later. ~
The voice was back and commenting rather openly at Harry's lack of experience.
"Look Hermione… Tonight isn't a very good time." He forced his words out through his clenched teeth. "Maybe we could talk tomorrow."
Hermione pressed her lips together. "Harry… You're avoiding me now. Don't shut me out. I just want to help you."
~ Famous last words… ~
Thought Harry trying to keep his expression from going goofy.
"You'll help more if you go." Harry said holding his clothing close to him.
Hermione eyed him paying particular attention to his hands. "What are you hiding in your hands?" She asked sitting up.
Harry started to panic. "No… nothing." Harry choked realizing with a glance at Hermione's face, he could tell she didn't' believe him.
She stood up and crossed the small space between them. "Don't you know by now you can't lie to me?" She said reaching a hand towards his fists.
Harry jerked away at the contact. "Hermione… please." He hissed as her hand reached again.
She paused and looked more curious. Harry's heart was beating faster and he found it hard to breath. She grabbed his hands and felt the muscles straining in his arms. "Harry… relax and tell…" That was when she felt it against her knuckles.
Harry had jerked away again and her fingers holding his wrist brushed up against him. Her eyes grew wide and she looked up searching into dark cloudy pools of green. He swallowed hard as she caught his eye. He felt himself letting go of his pajamas as Hermione pulled at them, releasing them from his hands and tossed them over towards his desk next to the window.
"Harry." She said softly then blinked almost looking sad. She glanced down below his waist at his erection clearly fighting to break the restraints held on it. She peeked back up at him through her lashes and Harry felt himself flex against his trousers.
"Hermione…" Harry interrupted her. "It's not what you think."
"It's not?" She moved closer.
~Oh hell… She smells so good. She smells and looks good enough to… to… to do what to Harry? ~
Harry's voice was back.
~She can see and feel what she does to you… kiss her… just push her back on to the bed and relieve some of that tension. ~
Harry couldn't believe what was running through his head although he had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't that head doing the thinking and he wasn't bloody well going to banish that part of him. Harry stepped back.
"It's not what you think Hermione." Harry said again. "I wasn't expecting you to come in here tonight…"
Hermione looked disappointed for an instant but recovered her stature. "What is wrong then Harry?" She asked trying to look at the floor.
Harry closed his eyes and felt all reason and self-control leave him. With a quick look at the door, he took a deep breath grabbing Hermione by the waist. Her expression lightened as she squealed when he pulled her close. She arched an eyebrow. He bent his head down, pushing her against him.
~Oh… that feels good… slow down Harry… don't scare her off. Lean in closer… that's it… ~
Harry could feel her breath on his face as he swept his lips against hers. Her hands settled on his chest, her palms flat and her fingers bent. "Hermione… I…" Harry whispered. She removed a hand from his chest and placed a finger at his mouth to silence him.
"I know Harry. I know." She said then rested her head against his chest. Harry tightened his arms around her, breathing in the smell of lilacs and sweet pea. His body was betraying him; Harry couldn't think of anything he'd rather do than hold her there forever. It would keep her safe… away from Voldemort, Malfoy… or any kind of harm in general. However Hermione started rocking back and forth and side to side and Harry couldn't ignore how physically close she was. His hands ran up her back and over her shoulders pulling her away from him slightly. He took her face in his hands and tilted her up for another kiss.
If their first kiss was innocent, their second had guilt written all over it. She closed her eyes when his mouth met hers; feeling his tongue outlined her bottom lip. She responded in turn, opening her mouth enough for his entrance. Her hand that had remained resting on his chest moved down over his slender stomach muscles. Harry felt his breath catch as he tasted her mouth and felt her hand skim the waistband of his pants. Closing his eyes, he marveled in the sensations running through his already anxious body. They inched forward clumsily towards his four-poster and nearly fell over when the back of Hermione's knees hit the mattress. She leaned back as Harry followed. His arms bracing their fall as she went backwards.
Harry felt himself fall against the mattress empty handed and opened his eyes. There was nothing there. No Hermione… nothing… just air… and the bed. His arms gave way and he collapsed head first onto the comforter. His glasses askew, He turned his head to the side and scolded himself.
~Wait a second… Where's Hermione... What the…~
Harry turned hearing a small fit of laughter a few feet away. Sitting up he looked in the direction of the noise and blinked hard at the sight in front of him.
"You…" He said coldly recognizing her outline without his glasses.
"I do believe I had asked you how your Occlumency lessons were going." Professor Warren chided.
"What is it that you want?" Harry yelled in no mood for games.
"Ah yes… the pertinent question."
"I have a right to ask. I mean I wasn't the one peeping in on other people's thoughts." Harry replied.
"You think that was your own doing? Come now Harry… Do you really think I wanted to watch such a thing?"
"You aren't anything but one of those St. Mungo's crackpots." Harry grumbled. "Why Dumbledore hired you I have no clue. Although I do believe the man is getting along in years."
There… Harry had said it… He didn't really mean it but he had said it just the same.
"So… tell me how you really feel. After all… that is the point now isn't it." Willow crossed her arms.
"Get out of my head." Harry screamed his eyes narrowing to slits as he looked at her with mounting hatred.
"I'm not your enemy Harry and I am not in your head… well at least not this time." Willow reasoned. "I'm trying to…"
"Help me." Harry mocked.
"You're running out of time Harry. Don't sell yourself short, you are worthy of friends and people to care for you. There are things that must be accomplished before you face Voldemort for the last time." She didn't even wince at the dark lord's name and Harry found that almost comforting.
"So you can say his name…" Harry said. "That doesn't mean you're my friend. What kind of friend shows up gives you information then disappears?"
"Much like the Order did during your fifth year?"
Harry flashed her a dirty look. She would have to bring up that. "Ok, you have my attention… What brings you here? What's with the mind games? Trying to give me wank off lessons?" Harry's voice was sarcastic. "Sorry to disappoint you… Professor… but I am seventeen… I've been pretty fluent in that department for some time now."
Willow blinked and shook her head sadly. "That was a little more information than I needed to know… No need to be offensive. I am simply trying to get you to understand. My method may not have been all that brilliant…"
"I'll say." Harry muttered.
Willow finally looked defeated. "Look Harry… if I tell you who I am… You won't believe me."
"Try me."
"Ok… I… err…" Willow took a deep breath and looked at him unsure of how to speak. She stumbled on her words at first and finally as her eyes started to glass over, she glared at the floor and spoke in a soft almost whispered voice. "Do you believe anything is possible in the wizarding world."
Harry shrugged. "I suppose so."
"You have a destiny Harry and if you don't get your head out of your arse the future of wizard kind is done for." Her voice grew a bit more confident.
"I seem to remember hearing this same song and dance from Lupin last year."
"Ah yes, the werewolf. A very powerful wizard he is."
"You know Lupin? Harry questioned despite himself.
Willow's eyes went dark and a far off look took over her as the first of her tears escaped the corner of her green eye. "Yes. I think I'd remember my own godfather."
Harry was skeptical. "Funny… Lupin never mentioned you… I didn't know he had a goddaughter… Who's your father then?"
Willow screwed up her face and shook her head forcefully. She swallowed hard. "I'm not sure how to say this."
"Simple… open your mouth and move your lips. Words usually come out quicker that way."
"Dumbledore was right, no need beat around the bush with you." She laughed nervously trying to put into words what she was trying to tell him.
"Yes, that did put him on my shit list a while back." Harry agreed. "But you seem to be doing it anyhow."
"Harry…" Willow paused a moment and looked down at her robes. "You…" She paused briefly. "You wouldn't know him. I'm not from this time."
Harry felt it then. The familiar sense he got about her. Even though he didn't quite believe it, he had to admit something in the way she said it made him want to.
"You're mental." Harry cried flabbergasted. "You can't be much older than my friends and I."
"Right now… standing here… I am not. But that isn't so where I come from. Where I come from you are years older than me."
"This is all too strange. What exactly are you trying to do? Send me to St. Mungo's mental ward with Gilderoy Lockhart?"
"I had never laid eyes on you before this summer." She whispered. She sniffled loudly and shrugged her shoulders. "Sure… I've seen pictures. But that's never the same."
"Good… I'm glad I live up to your expectations…" He cried rather harshly. But then her word sunk into his brain. "Are you telling me I'm going to die?" Harry felt like something had hit him hard in the chest. He couldn't breathe or move.
"I can't tell you that. I can't tell you something that you can change."
"Then why did you come?" He pointed out.
"To help you change it."
"But you just said… OH never mind… What's that supposed to mean? And why are you talking to me about such things?" Harry looked around his room suddenly realizing he didn't have a shirt on. "Wait a second… where's my shirt?"
"Probably where you threw it." Willow shrugged.
"I don't remember taking it off."
"You don't?" Willow cocked her head. "You let me in you know. I knocked. Although I knew you was sleepwalking. I had to wake you up before you got to far into your dreams… I wouldn't want to see any of that."
"I didn't… with… with you?" Harry gasped horrified. True she looked somewhat like Hermione… but…
"Oh heavens no. I slipped in when you opened the door. I asked you what you were doing in here. You assumed I was Hermione."
"Yeah… right." Harry bent over recovering his shirt and throwing it on. "What now?"
"Don't you want to know where I came from?" Willow asked.
"Professor Warren, there are so many things I want to know I don't have a clue where to begin. How do you know you won't run into yourself in this time… that is one of the time turner rules."
"Willow please." She said softly. "I cannot stand you looking at me like you do. I didn't know how I was going to do this when Dumbledore approached me. I don't have to worry about that running into myself here… you see I haven't been born yet."
Harry contemplated her words. That would explain why he hadn't heard Lupin mention her. He sighed placing his hands behind his head. "I guess I should start with how you got here."
"Isn't that obvious?" She smiled weakly stifling a laugh then recovered her stature. He wasn't ready for her to tell him everything. She figured that being straightforward would be easier than lying to him, but it was proving more difficult with each passing word. "The war is on going you know… in my time. My mother had her hands full. She didn't know she could do such magic… I mean she was a wonderful witch. A smart and clever witch… But she didn't know she was a healer. She died young as well."
"Let me guess… protecting you… did she give you a scar as well?" He spat out however he really hadn't meant to be rude. He instantly wanted to take back his remark when he saw Willow's face.
"Remember our first conversation… when I told you how weird it was learning about you… that's where I heard it from… Lupin. I've been in hiding since I was born Harry... I've been training for this my whole life. Dumbledore knew he needed to do something. So he broke every rule he had written." She paused. "He loves you like a son Harry… and I've always considered him like a grandfather."
Harry laughed nervously remembering how Dumbledore had told him about the prophecy when he was fifteen. He looked up at her seeing her face streaming with tears. He rose from the bedside and transfigured her a seat. She took it along with the Kleenex Harry handed her.
"Thank you." She muttered.
"How did it happen?" Harry asked his voice on the edge of having to know and not wanting to.
"There are laws against what Dumbledore has done… If he is found out… Azkaban would be paradise compared to what would happen. His mutiny in my time is punishable by death. In this time, well… I fear the laws are not much different when it comes to time turner abuse."
"That's not the question I asked… although I did find it enlightening."
"You want to know how you die, don't you." It was a statement instead of a question and one she was afraid to answer. "One should not know too much of their future… it could alter things entirely. Hell telling you all this… I don't even know if I will exist if I go back home."
"So you won't tell me?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I suppose not. Who wants to know they are going to die? I mean it's inevitable… everyone dies don't they. But no one really wants to know how."
He stood next to her watching the emotions played out on her face and felt honestly bad for her. He could tell she had been through some terrible times. The way she looked at him frightened him… somewhere between admiration and seeing a ghost. Harry didn't like that look at all. He knelt next to her his knees taking the brunt of the hard floor and handed her another Kleenex.
"Who's your mum then? Maybe I know her." He asked trying to sound nonchalant.
Willow dabbed her nose with the tissue. "You don't know? I could have sworn you would know just by looking at me. I sensed you recognized something in me the first time I met you." Willow went quiet. "She named me after the Whomping Willow… I guess she figured my father would get a kick out of that."
"What do you mean I already know?" Harry pulled off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes.
"Don't you? I saw you sitting next to someone at the feast… Is she not your girlfriend?"
"Hermione?"
"So that was my… I didn't visit her as I had you this summer. I probably shouldn't have visited you either for that matter. I couldn't help myself, after everything I've been through... I just had to meet you. I know I broke the rules… but I couldn't help it. You understand don't you?" Willow pleaded with him.
Harry exhaled slowly as he watched Willow look up at him. When she caught his eye however, panic set in. This was becoming all too real for him. He was beginning to find it hard to think.
He had been so angry with this woman ten minutes ago. She had been the reason he had been keeping to himself. Ever since his birthday he had thought of nothing else besides her… well nothing else but her and Hermione. He had wanted to know why she had come… what was in store for him this year… Why his hormones kept betraying him whenever Hermione graced him with her presence or even so simple as a thought crossing his mind.
"My middle name is Lily." She offered.
"Why are you telling me this?" Harry asked without thinking. He bit his tongue realizing his line of questioning had changed. He was questioning her as if he believed her. He hadn't allowed himself to think about Willow's answer when he asked about who her mother was though… Harry felt the surface of his skin start to tingle, just the thought of someone touching Hermione that way sent electricity down his spine and gooseflesh to his skin.
~ IS Hermione is going to have a child… a baby… which would mean she would somehow have to be with someone. Wait a second… I've never done that before… Hold it… you're getting jealous about something that hasn't even happened… yet. ~
His mind wandered a bit imagining how it must feel to be inside her, to lose all control and spill his likeness into her. He groaned at the thought. He had an idea about what to expect… just no knowledge of how such sensations felt. He arched an eyebrow and looked calmly at Willow.
"Look, let's pretend I believe you."
"Oh Harry…" Willow went to hug him startling Harry and knocking him over. He landed on his back on the hard wood floor.
Harry was shocked. He scooted back away from her a bit and eyed her down right scared. "Wait…" Harry cautioned her. "We're pretending… remember?" His voice was small and weak and tired above all. He wanted to go to sleep and wake up knowing all this was a dream.
Willow stopped. She had seemed so childlike a second ago almost forgetting she was the adult. "I'm sorry." She said sadly. "I shouldn't have told you that."
Harry closed his eyes trying to sort out the thoughts in his head into categories. He could feel the anger boiling inside of him but he couldn't fathom where it was coming from. Was he mad at the fact that Hermione was going to have a daughter after he died?
~What happens to her… What happens to Hermione? ~
His anger seared straight through to his scar and he felt the white hot prickling again. His hand immediately went to his forehead rubbing vigorously to stop the throbbing pain. Should he even know any of this? "Willow…" His voice was soft when he spoke and it did not waver in tone. "I need some time to take this all in. I think you should go."
"But Harry…" Willow sighed. "I guess I did tell you a bit too much didn't I? " She smiled weakly at Harry. She stood up and turned towards the door.
"She loves you… did you know that?" She walked the distance to the door hearing the knob turn when she spoke. "I'll see you in class?"
"Yeah… that's going to be weird." Harry reasoned. "I don't know how to act normal around you."
"Don't worry. I'll help you with that." She winked at him.
"I think you've helped enough." Harry said using the chair to help himself up from the floor.
He watched as her robes rustled behind her and the door closed.
To be continued…
Part 3: Hermione-