Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus...
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Reach out and touch faith
depeche mode, personal jesus
CHAPTER TEN: In the Eyes of Iago
Dear Hermione,
If you cannot listen to us, then we will make one last plea as your parents.
sThere is no hope for a happy life in that world. You don't belong there. We have tried to entertain her fancy and whimsical attachment to magic, when we should have forced you to maintain practicality. I, as your mother, take full responsibility for not fighting to keep you here. Here, where you would be much happier.
Darling, we love you. Do not dispute that.
But this, this world- those people- is not healthy.
So after a long discussion between your father and me, we have come to the collective decision that we will give you until your graduation to come to your senses. I hope, darling, you will regain that sense of responsibility and practicality that your father and I know you have.
Remember, we just want what's best for you.
And please, for our sake's stay away from that boy…
Too late for that, she mused, shoving the crumpled letter into her bag. Too late for that…
Hermione leaned back into her chair in the Headmaster's office, trying to block out the quiet whispers of the portraits around her and her own need to rationalize everything that had happened these last couple of weeks. She sighed, her fingers reaching up and rubbing gently at her forehead. Sometimes it was useless to fight her tendency to over-analyze.
A small smile lingered on her lips as her thoughts moved to Harry. They didn't talk much about serious things after their conversation in the hospital wind. The pain of her scar was nearly dull and their relationship steadily began to improve through little things. He'd carry her books to Potions. Or she'd sit with him in the Common Room late into the night and well into the morning if his nightmare were particularly bad. They'd laugh sometimes. He'd grab her hand. She'd invite him to have lunch with Hannah and Neville outside. Things were okay, but both of them knew that they were still nowhere near where they should be.
She sighed again, wringing her hands in her lap.
She didn't like this.
She didn't like the uncertainty.
She couldn't help but feel that the Headmaster was purposely forcing her to wait for him. It was gravely disconnecting that she was beginning to believe that she couldn't put it past him. This man had brought her into the wizarding world with the presumptions that she would be safe and happy. This man told her parents with a serious face that she would blossom to sate their skepticism. She was starting to believe that she could not trust Albus Dumbledore and his benevolence and that scared her.
For when it came to her intuition, Hermione was frightfully right in some form.
"Miss Granger."
She turned around to see the Headmaster enter his office, a warm smile on his face. She swallowed and gave him a nod, that very same uncomfortable feeling rising up in the pit of her stomach. He sent another fond smile towards a sleeping Fawkes and took his seat in front of her.
"I had hoped to talk to you under different circumstances," the Headmaster murmured.
She said nothing, forcing herself to focus on the pile of books on the corner of his desk. She waited for him to continue.
Dumbledore leaned forward, his gaze intense and somewhat alarming. "You had expressed a concern to me only weeks ago about your parents. This morning I received a most alarming letter."
Hermione's eyes widened, her hands trembling. A thousand terrifying scenarios ran through her mind, each worse than the one before. She could feel Dumbledore waiting for some sort of outburst from her. She struggled with the urge to tell the Headmaster to come out and say it.
"They wish to withdraw you from Hogwarts."
Her heart stopped.
"Withdraw?" She managed to choke out. "With-draw from Hogwarts?"
"I realize the gravity of the situation," the Headmaster began.
But she wasn't listening. They wanted to withdraw her from Hogwarts, her home for the last six years. Why on earth- How did they- They said they were- She buried her head in her hands. She knew they were serious about the ultimatum. She knew that they were serious about waiting until after graduation. This was ridiculous. They were acting like children.
I don't know what's going on in that world of yours.
You've never bothered to ask.
I'd rather see you in a nice, sensible boarding school.
I go to a boarding school, mother. One that I happen to be doing very well in…
"Miss Granger?"
She shook her head, meeting Dumbledore's concerned gaze. "I apologize, Headmaster. I'm in a bit of shock."
"That's quite all right, child," he replied with a smile. "However, I do believe I have a solution to this little dilemma."
Apprehensive, she gave him a nod to continue. Hermione shifted and clasped her hands in her lap. Trying to ignore the gossiping whispers of the portraits, she found she couldn't find the strength to talk now.
"I have talked with Arthur Weasley," Dumbledore started. "And he has agreed to take your parents on a tour of the Ministry and then bring them hear so that they can see how brilliantly you're doing."
She choked out a laugh. "And you think that their sentiments are just going to disappear and be kicked under the proverbial rug? Pardon me for being a skeptic, sir. But I think I know my parents better than that."
"I understand that you're under an immense amount of emotional uncertainty, child. I don't mean to cause you any unease, but I do believe I have another alternative to this dilemma."
Hermione sighed. "Headmaster…I don't think that…"
He didn't listen. "You are the brightest student that Hogwarts has seen in ages. Your potential as a student and as an anchor, if you will, is astounding."
She leaned forward. She couldn't help but feel that this was headed in a direction that he had planned all along. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't follow."
Dumbledore frowned, but reached for a book in front of him. She watched with unease as he flipped quietly through the pages.
"How familiar are you with the different levels of magical potential, Miss Granger?"
"I, um," she started, but then her rational side took over. "I remember the letter that we received after my Hogwarts letter from the Ministry detailing this, I guess. All I really remember is that my mother kept saying something about my leveling ability…I'm sorry, I just can't grasp where you're going with this."
"The responsibility of an anchor, Miss Granger, is to prevent any magical instability in his or her counterpart. Unspeakables are anchors to a certain extent with their duties to-"
"Protect," Hermione interrupted. "I know what Unspeakable does, Professor. We had a lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts in our fourth year that talked about them. But what does this have to do with me?"
He handed her the book that lay in front of him. "Page three hundred and forty-nine."
Binding Potion
Aeternus Eternus
Effects and Uses:
Used in binding/marriage rituals.
Potentially poisonous, the pair must consummate after the ritual is completed.
A double-edge sword effect: potentially strengthens the magic of pair, however, if one dies- the other will follow.
Emotionally intense empathy and telepathic
A tattoo to symbolize success of binding… will be the connection between the pair.
Ingredients:
Petals of magnolias
Stem of a lily
Crushed dry lavender
½ a cup of unicorn blood
2 drops of the blood of the participants
Aphrodite's Tears [an elixir]
Her eyes were wide and her breathing was shallow. She fought against the bile that threatened to spill from her throat. Aeternus eternus was the third dangerous love potion that was ever concocted. The rumor, according to Professor Snape, was that a man from Italy brewed it in hopes of binding the woman that he loved to himself for all eternity. The problem was the woman didn't love him and he was trying to punish her for it. She killed herself in response and took him to the grave with her.
She closed her eyes, forcing herself to maintain some façade of calmness.
"This- this is a binding potion," she whispered, her hands shaking. "This is a deadly potion…Professor, I don't understand."
"You'll be able to protect each other," Dumbledore murmured as if he never heard her. "It's exactly what Lily Potter intended to do, but failed in her great sacrifice."
The weight of his words was not lost to her. But her mind refused to let go of what her Headmaster was asking of her- of Harry. Had he planned this all along? Had he known that Lily Potter was going to give birth to a son with the unbelievable magical potential that he had?
"Does-does Harry know?" She managed to ask, quietly shutting the book close. "Did you tell him about this?"
The older man's eyes darkened. "No," he replied. "I fear I have lost the trust of young Mr. Potter. We must prepare for the dark days that are upon us."
She said nothing. She couldn't say anything. A part of her wondered how much Dumbledore had weighted in the coming war. The other part of her told her that he always seemed to have their best interest in mind. Now, she felt numb. Has he taken advantage of the situation with Lily Potter? Was he trying to repeat history?
"So I assume," she whispered, grasping the book for a sense of false security. Maybe she should leave Hogwarts. Maybe she should go back to that sense of false comfort. She shook her head. She could never leave Harry. She couldn't bring herself too.
Dumbledore was taking advantage of this fragile bond she shared with Harry.
"I assume," she started again. "That this is up to me? That you want me to talk to Harry?"
"Miss Granger," he began, speaking to her as if she were a small child having a fit. "I am asking you to take an incredible risk. But this is a risk that is absolutely necessary."
Her eyes closed. "I understand what you're asking of me."
"Do you?" The Headmaster pushed. "Do you truly?"
She watched him silently for a moment, taking in everything from his crescent moon glass perched on his nose to his amethyst-starred robes. This man, this supposed comfort, no longer held the same amount of significance now. She felt sad and yet, she was numb. Numb because she knew he was ready to sacrifice everything and anything for this war to turn out in the direction he favored.
Hermione felt terribly sick. "I- I need to go find, Harry," she whispered.
Dumbledore nodded. "Of course, if your parents do not contact you with the days that they are set to arrive, I will let you know as soon as I know anything. And take the book with you, so that if you have any questions we can set another time to meet."
"All right," she managed quietly, unnerved by the level of calmness he was displaying. She slowly began to feel suffocated, mustering a nod and heading towards the door.
Down the spiral staircase and through the door, she forced herself to grab onto the wall and calm down. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and her shoulder began to throb with the all too familiar pain.
We just want you to be happy, Hermione.
I'm happy where I am!
There is something about that place, that world-we're losing you.
She slid down to the ground, her hands muffling her painful sobs. How could she do this? How could she be strong for the both of them when she couldn't even be strong for herself? The desperation and the mass confusion would drown her, she realized. Yet, the weight of this decision was entirely her own.
I'm already lost.
**
So yeah.
A week has shrunken to four days.
Maybe it's the holiday spirit?
*glances wearily at the mob with sharp objects*
Some quick notes about this chapter. The name for the binding potion is Latin and means "eternal, everlasting, without end". I'm obviously going to get more into the potion itself as the story continues to progress, but for now the name and its ingredients are really all that are important now.
Now to Dumbledore… Yes, the Shakespeare reference in the title was intentional. Othello is one of my favorite plays. *sighs* I've got nothing against the old man in all honesty. But do keep in mind that there's a war that's about to start and the old man's trying to secure a safe position. It's human nature and even Dumbledore can't escape that.
There will be *heavy* H/Hr in the next couple chapters and Ron will be making an appearance very soon, I promise.
Thank you to Chaosblades for being *gushes* the sweetest and most charming beta reader. He's just so cute.
Other than that, don't hesitate to review or even stop by my live journal. I'm pretty responsive.
HH