Author's Notes: Sorry it's been taking so long between chapters, I didn't have a computer at home for the longest time, and now the one I have stinks. I promise that this story is still in the works, and will be continued until it is done, so those of you who keep wondering if I've abandoned it, fear not! I hope that the next chapter will be posted soon, and I thank you all for your patience. I also apologize for the evilness in this chapter...it's short, but I really love it. Watch out for the M&Ms!
Chapter Eleven-- The Plot Thickens, and HarryGets Stuck In It
As his lips engulfed hers, she forgot everything, including her own name...
At least, that's what would have happened, had Harry's Auror instincts not kicked in a split second before their mouths touched. Hearing a commotion nearby, Harry's wand was out and trained on the group before they even hit the ground. The confusion appeared on his face as he registered the strange companions that tumbled out of the shrubbery: namely, Ethan, Draco, Ron, and Hannah.
"Anna?" asked Harry bewilderedly, just as Hermione said "Draco?" in an equally mystified tone.
"Ethan?" continued Harry, clearly baffled.
"Ron?" gasped Hermione incredulously.
"What in the bloody hell is going on around here?" they questioned in unison.
There was a moment of complete silence before the explanations started pouring in.
"Um, well you see..."
"And then Ron..."
"With Ethan, but..."
"...tripped over my shoelace..."
"...thought Malfoy was...."
"I ran after him, but then..."
"Stop!" Harry and Hermione shouted at once. "I can't understand a word, " added the witch, still unnerved by the almost kiss, and wondering who had actually witnessed said almost-kiss.
"Malfoy, you tell us what happened," ordered Harry in his Auror voice.
The Slytherin raised an eyebrow at Potter's tone, but decided not to comment.
Ron said a prayer of silent thanks to God that Harry had called upon Malfoy, because Ron himself couldn't lie to save his mother from a Blast-Ended Skrewt.
"Ron and I went out for a drink, " lied Draco smoothly. "We happened to run into Hannah and-- Ethan is it?--and I ran to catch up with her, but then she thought someone was trying to attack her from behind, and she hexed me. Ron misunderstood, and came charging in like the daft bugger he is---"
"I am not daft," interrupted Ron crossly. "I thought you were in trouble."
Ron caught Malfoy's eye on that remark, and it took all of the latter's self-composure not to bust out laughing. Ron's typical defensive remarks gave the whole story an authenticity it would have otherwise lacked.
"--so Ethan hexed Ron," continued Malfoy as if he hadn't heard Ron at all, "And then Hannah tripped over her shoelace, and ended up landing on Ron--"
"Right," chimed in Hannah, "So then poor Ron felt ganged up on, and called to Malfoy for help--"
"So Malfoy came over and tried to pull Ethan off of me and explain that he was a friend of Hannah and Harry's--"
"But I thought he was attacking again, so I tried to punch him--"added Ethan.
"And I tackled him, while Ron was trying to get to his feet--" threw in Malfoy, "But then we all ended up in that shrub."
The others nodded vigorously in agreement.
Hermione and Harry gaped at their friends.
Hermione began to answer. "That is the most--"
"--ridiculous story we've ever heard," finished Harry, frowning.
Ethan, Ron, and Hannah all shifted uncomfortably, but Draco spoke up, ever the confident deceiver.
"Absolutely ridiculous," Malfoy affirmed, "Which just goes to show that nobody could make something like that up."
This, of course, was a blatant lie, but it was the best thing he could come up with under the circumstances.
Hermione and Harry exchanged a series of looks that meant that neither one of them bought a word of this rubbish, but Harry wordless conveyed to Hermione that it was best to play along for now.
Hermione was the first to concede with a small smile. "Malfoy has got a point, Potter. Who would make up something that stupid? That would be the worst cover story in the history of the universe."
Malfoy scowled at this abuse of his lying skills, but Ron elbowed him. "This is supposed to be the truth, remember?" he hissed out of the side of his mouth. Malfoy changed his expression.
"Okay, okay, but all four of them are bloody mad if you asked me, " laughed Harry.
Hermione grinned. "Now Harry's got a point, Malfoy."
"The only point that Potter's got is on the top of his head, " scoffed Draco.
Everyone chuckled a little, but Hermione remained stern. "Well, you're all quite lucky that the Ministry wasn't all over you like Mad-Eye Moody on a Death Eater, " she scolded, "Throwing hexes around in the middle of a Muggle sidewalk."
"Aw, come on Granger, " smirked Malfoy, tossing a casual arm across her shoulders, "We weren't in the middle of the sidewalk, exactly. We were mostly covered by that shrub."
Hermione laughed and stared up at Draco in a bemused way, which, it should be noted, Harry found extremely annoying.
It should seem miraculous that Hannah, the Hufflepuff git, stayed silent throughout this, but she was trying to avoid calling too much attention to herself. After all, she had been palling around with "Ethan", and how would that look to Harry? She was supposed to be catching Harry in some scandalous affair, not vice-versa.
"Ethan", or Ernie, as Ron and Draco had managed to glimpse before he applied more Glamour Charms, was also hovering carefully in the background. If Harry Potter found out about Hannah's true identity before they had some dirt on him, that would mean the end of Ernie's career, and he knew it. Digging up gossip on the Savior of the wizarding world was like a ticking time bomb, and it could blow up in his face at any time. His only hope was that he had set up everything sufficiently enough that Hannah would be taking the fall if this scheme backfired.
The truth of the situation had been that Ron and Draco had been carefully tailing Hannah and Ethan when they realized that the two Hufflepuff idiots were, in fact, tailing someone of their own...Harry. Luckily enough, Draco had indeed tried to sneak up on Hannah to distract her long enough for her to lose Harry's trail, but she heard him and threw a hex.
The rest was a bit of a blur, but consisted of several well-placed Bat-Bogey hexes and a rather disgusting curse that gave Hannah oozing boils in a rather, um, delicate area. Ron could scarcely hold in his laughter as he watched the nasty woman shift around awkwardly.
In the end, perhaps the only good that came out of the episode was the things it prevented from happening. It prevented Ron and Draco from revealing their knowledge to Hannah, which meant that, for now, they had the upper hand. It prevented Hannah from accidentally exposing herself and bringing things to a messy conclusion, as she undoubtedly would have eventually. Who in their right mind attempts to tail an Auror? The only thing that had saved her thus far was that Harry had been so distracted with Hermione, he probably wouldn't have noticed if Voldemort himself rose from the dead (again)...which brings us to perhaps the most important thing of all...it prevented anyone from seeing the almost kiss between the two Gryffindors.
Now, as everyone struggled with their own thoughts, there was a momentary silence. Sadly, like all good things, it came to an end all too soon, especially for one particular green-eyed Gryffindor Auror, because Hannah is the one that chose to break the aforementioned silence.
"Harry-Bear, maybe you should walk me home," she cooed.
Potter's brow furrowed. "Your flat is halfway across town." He paused for a moment. "In fact, what in the name of Dumbledore were you doing over here anyhow?"
Ron and Malfoy smirked. How was the human wasteland known as Hannah going to talk her way out of this one?
"Well, ah, you see,"stammered the blonde, "Ethan wanted to take in the city, and I, being the ever-polite host, thought I would show him around."
The tall, dark wizard processed this information as Hermione, Ron, Draco, and yes, even Ethan, rolled their eyes.
"Well then, Anna, wouldn't it be fair for Ethan to escort you back home then? If you're too tired to walk home, then find a safe place to Apparate or hail a cab."
Harry's friend stared at him in shock, and Ethan frowned angrily at Hannah. Hadn't she told him that she had Potter wrapped around her finger? This didn't seem very accurate to him...in fact, he was starting to wonder why the guy was even going to marry her. Personally, Ethan thought Hannah was acting like a twit. And coming from a Hufflepuff, that's saying something.
Hermione couldn't help smiling, thinking, 'There is the Harry Potter that I know. Look who finally got a clue about Little Miss Barbie-Bride- Wannabe over there.'
"But, darling, "protested Hannah.
Harry ignored her. "Ron, Malfoy, I dunno if you guys are on a date or what, but if so, then have a nice shag."
"Go to hell, Potter, " mumbled Malfoy.
"You first, " retorted Harry, grinning. He turned to Ethan and shook his hand solemnly. "Ethan, nice to see you again. Please see that my fia-- please see that Hannah gets home safely."
Finally, Harry turned back to Hermione. " Now, if you all don't mind, Miss Granger and I have plans. Come on, doll." And with that, he took her arm and waltzed carelessly away.
As an astonished Hannah and Ethan looked on in wonder, Draco Malfoy was sure that he had never had so much respect for Harry Potter.
Not that the whole defeating Voldemort thing hadn't been cool, too.
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Harry and Hermione walked along quietly until the witch finally spoke.
"That was quite a speech, Potter," she began cautiously, not sure if she was ready to broach the subject that was really on her mind...the Almost Kiss, with capital letters, as it was now known in her head.
Harry shrugged. "It was nothing."
Hermione stopped and met his eyes carefully. "Was it, Harry?" she whispered. "Was it nothing?"
Harry swallowed thickly as they continued walking.
"What is it that we're talking about exactly, Hermione?"
"If you don't know, Harry, then you're a hell of a lot stupider than you look."
"And that's really saying something, right, doll?" joked Harry.
"You're avoiding the subject."
"Yes, I am avoiding it just now, and if you don't mind, I'd like to avoid it a little longer."
"But I do mind, Harry," said Hermione gently. "We can't avoid it forever."
"Says who?" shot back Harry..
"Says me, Potter!" snapped the woman angrily.
Harry sighed. "Okay. Okay. You win. But not here. We need somewhere private...let's go to your place."
"My place it is. Should we hail a cab?"
"Are you a bloody witch or not?"
"Boy, are you ever grumpy when you're avoiding confrontation."
"It makes me hungry," whined Harry.
"Oh, shut up, I'll order a pizza. Now let's get out of here."
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Meanwhile,Hannah tossed and turned in her bed. She was losing sleep over a story, and she didn't like that feeling one little bit. Frustrated, she sat up and flicked on a lamp.
Ernie had taken her home and then he had left for his hotel room, but not before leaving her with a warning that she had better get something on Potter before the end of the week. The more that she thought about it, the more that she realized she was in way over her head.
Harry Potter was just too perfect, and there was no way around that. He was loyal to a fault, and it wouldn't matter if he was in love with anyone, if he made a promise to her then he was going to keep it.
"Which could be just the thing that saves me," Hannah mused aloud. And the more that she thought about it, the more sense that it made to her.
She was young, and stuck in a dead-end job, when all she really wanted to do was write romance novels for a living. She had no boyfriend of her own, and even her own family thought that she was really in love with Harry Potter. They might disown her when they found out he was just another tabloid story. Her family didn't believe in hurting innocent people.
"But," she reflected, "If I really marry him, what have I got to lose, besides my job? Then I have myself married to a rich, handsome, powerful wizard. He'll never cheat on me, he's too loyal, and he'll never divorce me, he's too chivalrous. I could live in luxury and write all day long...he could use his connections to get my stories published. He's even gorgeous, so the physical aspect might not be so bad either..." Hannah trailed off, plotting.
All in all, it sounded like the perfect plan. The only person that knew the true nature of her original plot was Ernie, and he didn't have any proof. She could spend the rest of her life as Mrs. Harry Potter.
Hannah smiled. She was going to marry him, and there wasn't a single thing anyone could do about it.
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The two friends found a dark doorway to Apparate. As soon as they reached Hermione's flat, she phoned for a pizza and began brewing some tea. As they settled down at the table, she produced a bag of M&Ms and poured them into a bowl. Harry watched in fascination as she picked out all the brown ones and ate them, leaving the other colors in the dish.
"What are you doing, Hermione?"
She smiled. "I only eat the brown ones," she said as she chewed thoughtfully on a piece, "Because I figure they have less artificial coloring, 'cause chocolate is already brown!"
Harry stared at her with a look that warmed her from the tips of her toes to the ends of her hair.
"How very scientific of you, Miss Granger," he murmured tenderly.
The silence then settled in, cloaking them both from the tough conversation ahead. Now that they were here, neither of them knew what to say.
"Harry," whispered Hermione finally, "What is going on between us?"
"I-I'm not sure?"
"Was that a question?" asked the witch, pulling distractedly on a curl.
"Yes. No. I don't know!"
"I..Harry, I...There is something I have to tell you," Hermione choked out, cursing her throat for picking this moment to go dry.
Harry bit his lip. Her eyes were shining in a way he had never seen before...she was practically glowing, and suddenly he was terrified. This strong, powerful Auror who had defeated more than a dozen Death Eaters was terrified of the tiny witch before him. And he wasn't sure what she was going to say, but he wanted to get out before she said it. Because whatever it was, good or bad, he was certain it would change their friendship forever.
He couldn't lose her. He couldn't let her say anything that might destroy their friendship.
Harry hopped out of his seat. "I--I have to go," he stuttered.
Hermione shook her head. "No, Harry. No," she reiterated firmly. "Not this time. You are going to listen to me." She stood and placed her hands gently on his face.
"Harry," she began.
"I really have to go, Mione," pleaded Harry. "I--"
Hermione continued shaking her head. "No, Harry. What you have to do is listen to me. You can't marry Hannah, Harry."
Harry pulled away from Hermione's reach and looked as though he was ready to bolt for the door.
"We'll talk about Hannah later, doll, she's just been acting a little strange lately, and I have a lot of thinking and re-evaluation to do, but that's got nothing to do with you, you and I can--"
"That's got everything to do with me, Harry!" shrieked Hermione. "Now listen to me, Harry. Listen."
"I can't," Harry growled in despair, "I just can't!" He started walking to the door, but Hermione stalked angrily in front of him.
"Stop being such a...such a...such a big baby!" Hermione spat out finally.
"I'm afraid," admitted Harry softly. "I don't want to hear what you have to say."
"Merlin, you daft wanker, I'm trying to tell you that I'm in love with you!" And with that, Hermione grabbed his face and kissed him hard on the mouth.
It wasn't the most romantic of kisses, certainly not-- but man, did it ever get Hermione's point across. The force of that kiss hit Potter directly in the stomach.
"I-uh-I-uh..." he mumbled. "I have to go, " he finished weakly. And he slipped out the door, leaving a thoroughly broken-hearted Hermione behind.
Now this is the part of the story where dramatic irony comes in to play. Dramatic irony, as used here, is when the audience (that's you, readers) know something that the characters don't know...and how this misunderstanding drives the story forward, usually in a very complicated series of events that would be much simpler if the characters only knew what we do.
It is my sad duty as the author to inform you that Harry Potter was running off to break up with his fiancee so that he could propose to the women he really loved, and now knew loved him. Now, normally this would not be so sad, but Hermione had misunderstood his abrupt exit as a signal that he did not love her back.
And now, my dear readers, you will see that this is a horrific turn of dramatic irony, because this is what Hermione did next.
She picked up the phone.
She dialed.
Someone on the other end picked up.
And into the receiver, she said, "Draco, it's me. Come quickly--I need you."
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Author's Notes: My description of dramatic irony is an idea borrowed from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, a series of books I thoroughly recommend and adore. I love talking directly to the readers as a comic and dramatic device, and therefore felt it was appropriate in this chapter.