Chapter Seven-- Fun With Limestone
Hermione's head swam. Draco was asking her to marry him. She, Hermione Jane Granger, was receiving her first marriage proposal, and she hadn't the slightest idea what to do about it.
"Hermione, please say something."
Malfoy's voice broke through her thoughts.
"I'm not sure what to say yet," she replied honestly.
Draco gave a small smile. "Well, at least you're not saying no and running away screaming bloody murder."
Hermione nodded, but she was already miles away in her own world.
A life with Draco. Sarcastic, sweet, irritating Draco. Someone who had always been there for her since he'd joined the Light side during the war. Someone who loved her and cherished her. She studied him. That silky blonde hair, playful smirk, and piercing silver eyes. Yes, he certainly was nice to look at. And she loved being in his company.
Then blonde hair morphed into raven, smirk transformed into grin, and silver brightened to emerald.
Harry.
Hermione's heart gave a painful twinge. Her best friend of twelve years. The man she'd only recently realized she was in love with. The man that had saved the wizarding world, the man that had taught her all about friendship and loyalty, the man that had appreciated her when no one else had, the man...
The man that was marrying someone else.
'Face it, Hermione,' the woman told herself, 'Harry is never going to notice you. He is going to marry Hannah and have a house and kids and never waste a night's sleep wondering about what might have been.'
Hermione thought back to the days when she'd dated Draco. She'd been happy then, very happy. Voldemort had been defeated, and everyone finally had the chance at normal lives. Draco had been...wonderful. They had spent hours and hours just talking and being in love.
'And,' thought Hermione with a flush, 'The sex was pretty fantastic, too.'
'We were so in love,' thought Hermione, smiling, 'So in love we couldn't see anything but each other.'
The only reason they had broken up, in fact, was that Draco had gotten scared at how serious things were becoming in such a short time. They both agreed they were too young for such a big commitment, and they'd agreed to be friends, with the possibility of some day getting together again.
Years had passed, and Hermione had often thought that they had lost their chance. Then Harry had graduated the Aurory, and most of her free time had been spent worrying about him...until, most recently, she realized she was in love with him. That hadn't left much thought for another man.
Hermione looked at Draco. He was watching her, but keeping his mouth shut. Draco knew Hermione well enough to know that she was thinking and trying to make a good decision...and he had quite a stake in this particular decision.
The witch bit her lip. If she couldn't have the man she loved most...perhaps she could have the one she loved second most. Draco could give her a happy life. And she knew she could love him again.
But Harry's face kept popping into her head. It was all too much too much to bear.
"Draco, I don't know, I just don't know. You know that...I'm in love with Harry. And I'm in a fake engagement to Ron! And I'm planning the wedding of my best friend, whom I'm secretly in love with, to a woman I hate, who also happens to be impersonating me. I don't think throwing a relationship with you into the mix would help!"
"You're right, of course you're right," sighed Draco. "Just...don't dismiss me, okay? If Harry doesn't realize what a prat he's being...I'm always here. And I'll wait for you, Granger. I'll wait until you get married...whether it be to Harry or someone else."
Hermione placed a gentle arm on Malfoy's face. "I could never dismiss you, Drake. I adore you. And I promise, things don't work out with Harry...you'll be the only person who could ever capture my heart."
Draco stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, time for me to revert to friend mode. Granger, like my grandpa once told me, your chances go up when you file an application."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you've got to tell Harry that truth if you ever want a shot."
"He'll absolutely go mental!"
Draco shrugged. "So you're not ready to tell him yet? Fine. At least, break off the "engagement" you have with Ron, tell him the truth about that. He deserves to know all the facts before he marries that awful woman."
"You've met her, then?"
Draco nodded. "Yeah, I met Harry for lunch the other day, he brought her along. Right bloody annoying, if you ask me."
"Nobody asked you."
"Ha bloody ha," mimed Malfoy. "You're lucky Luna's put up with your little charade with Ron at all."
Hermione blinked in surprise. "You've talked to Luna?"
"Sweet Merlin, Granger, you've had your head up your ass even more than usual lately."
"That's better than having my foot up your ass, a pleasure you're about to receive if you keep talking."
"Okay, okay, I get it. Easy. You're like a menstrual troll when you're aggravated, you know that?"
The witch scowled. "You really do know how to revert to friend mode, don't you? Or is this asshole mode?"
Draco shrugged and gave Hermione a cheeky grin. "Generally, they're one and the same."
"If it isn't too much trouble, do you think we could get back to the subject at hand?"
"Right. Luna, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and I have been getting together and...discussing things. More specifically, things about you and Harry."
"And Ron filled you guys in," supplied the girl.
"Pretty much."
Hermione frowned. "Wait. You know I'm in love with Harry, and in a big mess, and you still asked me to marry you?"
"I'm sorry, but currently hopeless romantic Draco is taking a vacation. If you'd like to leave a message, he'll get back to you at the first available opportunity. BEEP!" said Malfoy mechanically.
She sighed. "I'm in no mood to argue with you right now. What you're saying is that the first step is to tell Harry that Ron and I are not together?"
"Yes. Inform Ron about what you're going do, then talk to Harry. Tell him you broke it off, Ron's in love with Luna, whatever you want. Just tell him."
"Damn it, Malfoy, when did you get so smart?"
He gave her a flashy smile. "Oh, I thought it was time for my brains to catch up with my good looks."
"I'm going to start calling you Lockhart."
Draco clutched his heart. "Ouch, Granger. That one hurt. Right here."
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Hermione awoke the next morning with a frown. She was sore and tired and ready to burst with stress.
'What I need,' she reflected, 'Is a day off.'
She shuffled into the kitchen and sent Harry a quick owl to let him know she wouldn't be around. She also sent an apology to Luna and a note to Ron about her talk with Draco.
Hermione selected a cd from her shelf and slid it into the player. She poured herself some orange juice and got into a warm bath.
The lyrics seemed to wash over her, every bit as cleansing as the water. The witch smiled weakly and sang along.
"Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
Hanging by a moment here with you...
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else....
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
Hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you."
Amazingly enough, she felt better. A lot better.
After getting dressed in a white buttoned down shirt and a pair of jeans, Hermione spent the rest of the morning sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and reading a Muggle novel...actually, she was reading Pride and Prejudice, one of her all-time favorites.
At lunch time there was a knock on her door. She looked up, surprised. Who could that be?
Opening the door, Hermione tried to hide the shock on her face.
Harry Potter was standing on her doorstep with a large teddy bear and a sheepish expression.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said earnestly.
"Harry, what am I going to do with you?" sighed Hermione, pulling him inside.
"Love me?" suggested Harry helpfully, hugging the woman tightly.
"I already do," grumbled Hermione, "I already do."
As they broke apart, Harry thrust the toy into her arms. "I know nobody has ever given you a teddy bear before, so I thought..." he broke off, embarrassed.
"Oh, Harry," whispered Hermione, praying that the tears in her eyes didn't spill.
Harry watched her for a minute, then seem to shake away whatever was on his mind.
"Anyway, I know you wanted the day off, but we had an appointment to see those statue things Anna wanted."
Hermione clapped herself in the forehead. "Crap! I'm so sorry, Harry, I'm such a daft wanker. I should be the one reminding you of appointments, I'm supposed to be helping you, not hindering!"
Harry placed a consoling arm on Hermione's back. "You're anything but a hindrance, doll. You're really pulling everything together. I appreciate everything you do."
Just then, Hermione turned to grab her day-planner, and Harry caught a whiff of something...something strangely familiar.
"Hermione," he said sharply, "What is that smell?"
Hermione was puzzled. "What smell?"
"Are you wearing perfume?"
Hermione laughed. "Harry, I'm wearing the same perfume I've worn everyday since we were fifteen. Vanilla Fields."
Harry paled. "That's what Hannah's started wearing. I thought it smelled familiar."
The witch met his gaze evenly. "I know. She asked me a few days ago what I wore. Needless to say, I wouldn't have told her if she was going to steal my scent. I hate wearing the same perfume as another person I hang about with."
Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Why would Hannah do that?"
"I don't know, Harry," Hermione stared at him defiantly, "You tell me. Why would she do that?"
Before Harry could answer, the clock chimed one.
"Damn, damn, damn!" swore Harry. "We're supposed to be there by now, come on."
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As the two friends walked through the garden of sculptures, Hermione smiled. This goofy Harry was much more like the one she knew and loved. Without Hannah around to spoil everything, they were....
Hermione swore under her breath. She had to stop blaming everything on Hannah. Sure, she was a right tart, but honestly, was Harry really this stupid? Hermione was beginning to wonder if she should be with a bloke that daft.
"So Anna wants a statue at the wedding," said Harry as he and Hermione weaved their way through the outdoor exhibit of art.
"Well, a well chosen sculpture can enhance the tone and theme of the ceremony," explained Hermione, slipping easily into her wedding planner persona. "Something like this could be nice," she gestured toward a flowery depiction of a robed Aphrodite.
"A little depressing, isn't it?" remarked Harry.
Hermione scowled. "No. It's wistful and romantic."
Harry rolled his eye as they continued along and Hermione sighed. He may have apologized, but the tension between them was still rather thick.
"I always pictured a small wedding," admitted Harry softly. "Close friends and family on a beach somewhere, cool saunty breeze..." he trailed off. "Or something like that, anyway."
Hermione felt awkward. What could she say? That his wedding was probably all wrong because his fiancee was all wrong? Instead, she changed the subject back to more business.
"You know, the Aphrodite we passed on the way in might be perfect," she said.
The Boy-Who-Loved-To-Torture-Hermione grinned as he spotted a large statue of a naked, well-toned male brandishing a sword.
"Well, what about this guy?" he asked, examining the model.
"This is all wrong for a wedding," explained Hermione, pursing her lips. "It's too menacing."
"No, Mione, I think you're wrong. He's not menacing, He's..." Harry imitated the pose of the statue, "He's masculine, he's the protector..."
Hermione rolled her eyes.
Harry put his hand on the statue. "This man is strong."
"This man is naked," muttered Hermione.
"This man is sturdy," Harry gave a little push...and the sculpture toppled over, dragging Harry with it.
"Oh no!" shrieked Hermione, rushing over. "Pick it up before someone sees!"
The two friends puffed and grunted under the weight of the stone, but they managed to upright it.
"Oh my gosh, there's a guard coming!" exclaimed Hermione as they wedged it back into it's rightful place. As Harry was struggling with it, Hermione glanced at the ground and gasped.
"Harry!" she hissed. "You castrated him!"
The naked man's stone penis was lying on the grass. Harry picked it up gently. "Oh, no," he whispered.
"Whoa, I'm sorry buddy," Harry said apologetically.
"Oh my gosh, the guard's coming this way! I do a lot of work here! We have to fix this!" Hermione rummaged around hurriedly in her bag, fishing out some Krazy-Glue.
Harry nodded. "Ah, yes, Krazy-Glue, of course...why didn't I bring the Krazy-Glue, in case his pecker fell off?"
Hermione giggled. Harry pressed the detached member back in place as the guard approached.
"Oh, shit," he suddenly muttered, trying to pull his hand away. "Harry's stuck, dammit, Harry's glued to his pecker."
Hermione stared, wide-eyed. "What?"
"Hi there," greeted Harry suddenly to the burly security guard that had finally made his way to them.
"Sir, touching the statues is not permitted," he reprimanded crossly.
"Uh, yes, sir," agreed Harry, turning to Hermione. "You know, you were right, honey, it's limestone, it's not granite." He turned back to address the guard. "We had a bet going on what it was made out of, and she won."
Hermione laughed and nodded.
"Sir," said the guard angrily, "Your hand, sir!"
Harry grinned sheepishly, removing his hand, and with it, the stone penis.
"Uh, there it is," he chuckled nervously, "A limestone penis...you think he'd be bigger, wouldn't you?"
Hermione laughed.
A few minutes later, after a large check had been written by Harry, he and Hermione sat out on a stone bench. Hermione pulled some Q-tips and a bottle of nail polish remover from her bag and cradled Harry's hand gently.
"What else you got in there?" he asked curiously.
Hermione smiled warmly at him. "My entire universe."
There were a few awkward seconds, and Hermione realized that she still hadn't apologized properly for their fight.
"I'm sorry," she said, just as Harry was uttering the same thing.
They shared nervous smiles. "You go first," said Hermione.
"I'm sorry about giving you a hard time about being engaged," said Harry.
"And I'm sorry what I said about your marriage being doomed to fail," added Hermione, dabbing at Harry's glued hand with a soaked Q-tip.
"Well, I apologize for saying that you were just an opportunity...that was, well, that was pretty ugly of me."
"Yeah," continued Hermione, "And I was only half-serious about the teal bridesmaid thing."
Harry leaned in conspiratorially. "Well, at least I have a fifty-fifty chance, right?" He grinned.
Hermione smiled weakly. "You and Hannah are going to be real happy together."
Harry looked at solemnly. "So are you and Ron. It's gonna work."
The witch drew a deep breath. This was the perfect opportunity...it was now or never.
"Yeah, well, we're not engaged anymore."
He stared at her. "Really?" he asked, surprised.
"Really," Hermione replied softly.
"Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah!" said Hermione sincerely. "It was more everyone else wanting to get us together anyway. I think he really does like Luna."
"Why would everyone want to do that?" Harry asked, frowning.
"Probably because they know how much I want someone to love," answered the woman truthfully.
Harry nodded in understanding as Hermione continued dabbing his palm.
"So, Anna said to go ahead and go forward with the violet chocolate, the chocolate cake," Harry announced suddenly, trying to break the spell of awkward tension.
"Good, so I'll go ahead and put in that order today?" chattered Hermione, nervously nodding her head and knitting her brow. "How is Hannah?"
"She's good," answered Harry hesitantly. "She's, you know, running around, being the charmer, being Hannah."
Hermione finished her surgery and pulled the stone member cleanly away from Harry's hand.
"Oh, nicely done!" Harry flexed his fingers and admired his beat friend's handiwork. He lifted his emerald orbs to her face. "Thank you, Mione."
Harry handed Hermione the limestone penis. "You wanna keep it?"
She laughed and shrugged, throwing it into her bag. "Sure."
Watching the sun set together, creating warm hues of gold and auburn, Harry felt a twinge of happiness. "It's a nice day," he remarked.
Hermione paused. "You know, I agree with you about the small wedding," she said, almost inaudibly, "That's the way I'd do it too."
Harry put his arm around her. Despite the stress of the wedding, the complexity of his friendship with Hermione, and the way his emotions were one big tornado lately, Harry felt inexplicably at peace.
For a few glorious minutes, as the sun brought the day to a close, both Harry and Hermione felt all was right in their worlds.
Author's Notes: The Lyrics are from "Hanging By a Moment" by Lifehouse, and they do not belong to me. T
he book Pride and Prejudice is by the incomparable Jane Austen, and if you haven't read it, what are you doing here reading my silly fluff?? Go buy a copy!
The limestone penis scene, is of course, verbatim from the Wedding Planner...I love that scene.
Harry's idiocy is completely his own.
Thanks to all my reviewers!