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The Marauders and the Apple of Discord by Green Eggs and Ham
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The Marauders and the Apple of Discord

Green Eggs and Ham

(AN: Before you even read this, I just want to apologize in advance for the awful Sorting Hat song. I tried, but I just can't write poetry…)

Chapter 3

The Sorting

It was amazing, magnificent, wonderful, incredible, but also extremely terrifying. It was strange and splendid at the same time, and Lily had to remind herself to breathe as the group of first years entered the Great Hall. Thousands of candles, floating over four long tables, sent a flickering light across hundreds of faces, all staring fixedly at the line of first years making its way toward a small stool, on which sat an old, frayed hat.

Terror clutched at Lily's chest as she wondered what she would have to do. She didn't know any magic. Suppose she got up there, and when she couldn't do anything, the stern-looking witch next to the hat, Professor McGonagoll, would tell her that this was all just a big mistake, and that she would have to go home.

All of the students were now staring at the tatty old hat, and Lily found some comfort in the fact that the other first years also had looks of panic pasted across their faces. Everything was completely silent and still, but when Lily glanced back at the hat, she could have sworn she saw it move. When she looked again, a rip in the side of the hat opened up into a mouth, and it began to sing.

I welcome you to Hogwarts,

Where you can learn to be

An expert in the complex art

Of noble wizardy.

But first, before you start your quest,

For finer education,

You must be sorted to a house

That suits your expectation.

That of Godric Gryffindor,

Who valued nerve and bravery,

Or else of Helga Hufflepuf,

For kindness and for loyalty.

Will it be Rowena Ravenclaw,

Whose pride was laid in learning,

Or Salazar Slytherin,

Who valued blood and cunning.

So put my rim around you ears,

And then your house we'll find.

For when you put me on your head,

I'll look inside you mind.

The hat turned and bowed to each of the tables as the hall burst into applause. James was suddenly aware of the awkwardness of his clapping.

He had thought about this before-gone over this very moment in his head over and over again-but it had never gone like this. He had never even thought of the possibility that he would be awkward or nervous. He would throw the crowd a confident grin as he pulled the Sorting Hat onto his head, and then, when it shouted Gryffindor, he would throw out another grin as he swaggered confidently to his seat at the Gryffindor table. But this-this was terrifying.

*

When Sirius heard his name called, he left James, Remus, and Peter, and swaggered confidently over to where the Sorting Hat stood, knowing where he would be placed. He winked at the Slytherin table before pulling the rim of the hat over his eyes.

"Hmm… You're going to be one of the more difficult ones, I see," said a voice inside Sirius' head.

What do you mean `difficult'? I should be the easiest choice here! Sirius thought.

"Well, you have a great deal of talent, and ambition, too. It's all here…"

Slytherin! That means Slytherin! You're thicker than I thought!

"Now, now, young man. I'm not finished. There's courage here, too. Oh, a lot of courage. There's no doubt about it, Gryffindor will help you see beyond what you have been taught."

What's wrong with what I've been taught?I want SLYTHERIN!

But it was too late, because the Sorting Hat had already shouted "GRYFFINDOR!" and Sirius was reluctantly pulling the hat off his head. The students were shocked into silence, and even the teachers, though clapping politely, were giving each other looks that clearly showed how shocked they were.

Sirius found his feet moving him toward Gryffindor table, and he could hear the students whispering to each other. "A Black? In Gryffindor? There must have been some mistake!"

He sat down with his new house, all of which was giving him doubtful and nasty looks, and tried to concentrate on the sorting of "Bode, Broderick," but when he saw his thrilled look at being sorted into Hufflepuff, he found he had to look away.

*

Lily watched as "Bones, Amelia," was sorted into Hufflepuff, and found her dread mounting as "Dolohov, Antonin," became a Slytherin. By the time Professor McGonagoll was calling "Evans, Lily," her heart was pounding so loudly she could barely hear it.

She hardly realized it as she sat on the stool, or as she pulled the hat over her eyes, but she did hear the strange voice in her head.

"Hmm…talented, yes, but you wouldn't fit in Slytherin. Kind and loyal, too, but I can see you were cut out for greater things than Hufflepuff. Ah! You're clever-cleverer than many that I've seen. You would do brilliantly in Ravenclaw. But what's this? Bravery-a remarkable trait to possess. It's one thing to have the intelligence and maturity to see what is right, but another thing entirely to do it. Better be… GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily walked shakily over to the Gryffindor table, at which all the students were applauding politely. She didn't feel very brave right now, but then she didn't feel very clever, either. Maybe the hat had made a mistake. But she wasn't particularly concerned with that right now. She was too busy feeling overwhelmingly relieved.

*

Remus watched Fenwick, Benjy step off the stool, and make his way over to the Ravenclaw table, and before he knew it, it was his name being called, and he was the one walking toward the stool. He was nervous, but nothing compared to what the other first years seemed to be, because he wasn't worried about what house he would be put in. He was just happy to be here, and he was grateful. He didn't feel like any house was any better than any other house. Gryffindor would be nice though…

"Hmm… a nice mind, I see. Oh, a werewolf, eh? You're afraid of what you are-afraid of what people will think of you. But I see you've dealt with this with much courage. It's all here. But you needn't be afraid. People will look down on you for what you are, yes. But you will find friends who will accept you and seek to help you. Yes-better be… GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus could have jumped for joy (but he didn't, of course). He had been placed in Gryffindor, and would, apparently, have lots of friends who would accept him for what he was. All he had to do was tell them. He sat down next to Sirius Black, who was still staring at the Slytherin table wistfully. Remus turned to him, ready to tell him what he was, but then he remembered what he had said when he saw Hagrid. "Filthy halfbreed." But what does a hat know anyway. He would be best just keeping it to himself, like he had always done.

He turned back to the sorting. Macnair, Walden had just been sorted into Slytherin, and he noticed that Sirius was looking a bit queasy, but he clapped with the other Gryffindors when McKinnon, Marlene, and Meadowes, Dorcas joined their table.

Both boys snapped to attention as Peter Pettigrew's name was called and he made his way up to the hat. He was trembling, and Remus was sure he was going to wet himself.

*

Peter was absolutely terrified. He didn't feel clever or courageous at all. But then, he wasn't really anyway. If only there were a house for people who were about to wet themselves. That would be the house for him.

Peter pulled the Sorting Hat over his eyes, and was plunged into darkness. "Hmm…not clever enough for Ravenclaw, not cunning enough for Slytherin. You could be in Hufflepuff, I suppose, but you haven't an ounce of loyalty. There's some bravery here, though. But I suspect it won't be an easy journey learning how to use it. It will serve you before the end. We'll give it a try… GRYFFINDOR!"

Peter gave a little squeak, and ran over to Remus and Sirius, knocking over the chair and sending the Sorting Hat flying. It didn't seem too happy about landing on the floor, as it told Professor McGonagoll when she placed it back on the stool.

Remus and Sirius gave Peter their congratulations, but all three boys were immediately silenced when James' name was called.

*

Taking a deep breath, James gathered up as much confidence as he could muster, and dragged his feet over to the stool where the sorting hat lay.

"Oh, well this is easy. You have the traits for any house, but they are far overpowered by your courage. You possess more bravery than anyone I've seen in a long time! You'll do well in GRYFFINDOR!"

Beaming, James strutted over to his friends at the Gryffindor table, and watched the sorting, the butterflies in his stomach significantly lessened. Sirius was still looking angry when Skeeter and Snape became Slytherins, but his mood seemed to be improved when he clapped for Vance, Emmeline when se became a Gryffindor.

By the end of the sorting, all three boys were very hungry, and sighed as the headmaster got up to speak. Remus leaned over and whispered to James, "I hope this doesn't take long, I'm starving!"

James silently agreed, and turned to the head table as the Dumbledore began to speak. "I understand you're all hungry, so I'll make this short. (audible sighs of relief from James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter) Welcome! And now, enjoy!"

As soon as that was said, the plates in front of them were piled high with every kind of food imaginable. The four boys gave shouts of joy, and immediately began piling their plates high with everything from black pudding to pork chops. Not another word was said as they began to stuff their faces.

*

When the feast was finally over, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, were almost too full to walk, but somehow they managed to make it to the Gryffindor common room, although they were the last ones there. When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, the Gryffindor prefect, Gideon Prewitt, was waiting for them.

"Well finally! I was thinking you lot were never going to make it!" he said as the four boys groaned and fought the temptation to just lie on the floor and go to sleep. "The password is Annum Principalis."

The portrait of the Fat Lady swung open, and the James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter climbed through the opening, followed by Gideon.

The Common Room was amazing. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace, which was surrounded by the most comfy-looking armchairs any of them had ever seen. But right now, they were too tired to really appreciate this room. They would be much more appreciative of a nice, warm, bed.

So they went straight into the first year boys' dorm, and by the time each boy had hit the fluffy pillows and soft mattress, they were already asleep.

***

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