-A/N- I know the story is somewhat vague in the sense that it doesn't explain what happens. They will explain everything slowly; I can't give it all to you at once! From here on, each chapter will only cover a small potion of time since I have so much to write about after OotP. Enjoy! -
I felt lost in every possible way. Sirius was dead in result to my stupidity. I hurt my friends, the only people I had left. Misery surrounded me; life felt unbearable. Voldemort was back, he was back and everyone knew it. It would only be a matter of time before the world would feel his wrath once again. My life faded before my eyes. Thus started the worse summer of my life, and quite possibly the best.
I spent a month with the Dursleys. They were even more wretched toward me after being threatened at the train station. I would lock myself in my room for days at a time, not eating or sleeping, barely even living. Agony swept over me stronger than I had ever felt. I remember all the letters I would receive.
Harry, I'm so worried about you. You haven't responded to a single letter all summer. This is so hard to say . . . I care about you so much. We need some time together, there are things that need to be worked out. Please Harry, don't do this to yourself. You have to be strong now, don't let him catch you weak. I . . . we need you Harry. Please write; I miss you. Love, Hermione
Her letters were always like that. I loved her so much, but I had to push her away. She couldn't be close to me now . . . not after what was going to happen . . .
Yes. The prophecy. Its words haunted me, never escaping my mind. I had not told anyone. I was alone in the world; my soul purpose was to vanquish the Dark Lord once and for all. I was scared to get too close to anyone. My solution was to push everything away. If only I had succeeded . . .
I wish with everything I am that I was able to get everyone out of my life. Didn't they understand what danger it was to know me? No, they didn't understand the full extent. I couldn't bring myself to explain the prophecy. It would be a weight on everyone, and they would just try to help me. I didn't want help. I wanted a way out, but I knew that the world would fall if I did not stay alive to defeat Voldemort. He would certainly kill her . . .
Her. I loved her so much that it was painful. That was my mistake. I loved her so much that I would forget about my horrible destiny. I would tell myself that I was allowed to be normal, to love. That is where I was wrong. She continued to write to me, as my heart continued to pine for her. I got to the point where I needed her. I couldn't function. I was still in a state of grief and I needed her to pull me through. But it only led to destruction in the end.
My mandatory stay at Privet Drive was coming to an end when I received the letter.
H. Potter,
We sent you our regrets on your recent loss. Attached is a copy of the last will and testament of S. Black. Please sign the parchment and return to Gringotts, Diagon Alley. All possessions will be transferred to your vault at the time we receive your owl.
Best wishes,
Gripwak Dernhom
Director of Inheritance
It was a painful realization. He was gone . . . forever. It was official. I set the letter on my table. I was too stubborn to finalize the arrangement. I also realized that it was time I wrote a letter . . . to someone.
Hermione,
I know I haven't written. I'm sorry. Things have been . . . strange for the moment. You're probably right, as always. We need to see each other. How about coming to Grimmauld Place next week? I'll invite the Weasleys, also. Think you can arrange someone to take me?
Love from,
Harry
Reading the letter again, I wonder why I did this. Why did I endanger them? Why did I allow myself to forget the prophecy and become closer to the people I love? I'm a fool, I see that now.
Hermione wrote me back the very next day. Ron was on a family vacation, as the twins felt it necessary to share their new wealth. So she was to pick me up, and the Weasleys would come later that week. I was nervous, very nervous. I couldn't spend all that time alone . . . completely alone . . . with her. I knew I wouldn't be able to. I immediately began to regret asking her, but it was too late to back out. I knew at that moment that things went wrong.
Hermione came to pick me up, as promised, and I ran out the house, muttered a quick goodbye to my angry aunt and uncle. I think they were just angry that I was going somewhere safe. I sat nervously in the Granger's car as her parents began to make small talk. I remember my nervousness and anxiety so well. We arrived on the correct street and entered Sirius's home . . . my home. To my surprise, Lupin had greeted us on the way in. I immediately began to question him on Voldemort's activity.
"Death. The wizarding world is reek with it," stated Lupin with a look of disgust. Like I hadn't expected death. "Let me explain, Harry. The muggles don't know much yet, just to be alert. You-Know-Who is biding his time, making us weaken as we worry. He has only taken out those who openly express their feelings against him. Many reporters have died, each death as mysterious as the next." His words are still fresh inside my head. Every horrible detail lingers within me at every waking moment.
I sat alone most of my first day there. She would be next; her death was so near. At least, that is what I told myself. I convinced myself to distance myself from her . . . until she came to me.