-A/N- Yes, this chapter is a little shorter. Life has just been taking control of me. I'm getting behind on my writing, so hopefully I'll be able to finish the next few chapters soon. Maybe some reviews will inspire me ;). Thanks everyone, and enjoy! --
I came to him one night. I had to go see him, get him out of the trance he was in. I wanted him under my trance. I loved him so much that it was killing me, ripping apart my soul. It got to the point where he was painful to think about. Come to think of it, he still is. He still has that effect on me . . . my bittersweet poison.
I could barely control myself alone with him. I didn't know what to do . . . or when to tell him the truth. The truth. It was something so crazy that I couldn't bring myself to do it. I loved him. It was absurd! I let my heart go somewhere I tried so hard to keep my mind out of.
Harry tried to spend a lot of time alone, something I wanted to prevent more than anything. Deep down, I knew that I had to give him his space. He was mourning to such a great extent. I knew that I had to go to him sometime. After all, we were alone in this world. The Order members came and went, but it was just me and Harry in my mind. I was such a foolish girl . . .
I found him sitting in a small, empty room upstairs. He was just sitting on the windowsill staring blankly in the sky. I made to leave when I spotted him, as he was sitting in my reading spot. I tried to run from the fear and nervousness inside of me.
"Don't go," I heard as I headed out.
"I don't want to bother you, I just . . . "
"'Mione, I don't mind." He beckoned me forward. I clumsily walked to him, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten in each step.
"I come here to think a lot. He showed it to me once, how relaxing the sky can be as the breeze hits you."
"Harry . . . " I said looking into his eyes. But he wouldn't look at me.
"I feel nothing."
"What?"
"I don't feel anymore. I coast through life without feeling its warmth, coldness, cheer, pain, lo . . . " He broke off quickly as he deepened his gaze into the heavens. His eyes reflected the bright moonlight.
"I'm sorry Harry," I said hesitantly, moving a little closer to him.
"No. Don't. Don't come closer to me," he said, barely over a whisper.
"Why not?" I noticed my mistake in asking that right away. Not only because of how stupid it sounded, but also because of the sadness that immediately washed over him. He began to speak in a voice low, deep, and harsh. The prophecy. He said it word for word to me. I gazed at him in the awkward silence that followed. The pain in his eyes was unbearable.
"Oh, Harry . . . " I said as I put my arms around him. He needed love. He needed to feel. I did not think that he could ever give that to me, but I felt like I needed to show him how I felt. Harry was stiff at first, but the loosened in my arms. I could feel his sporadic breaths against my neck. I remember the scene all too well. He let tears flow as I held him there. It could have been hours sitting there, I don't know. I do know that it was the pivot point in our long journey together.
I remember him finally withdrawing from my arms. He shifted uncomfortably and leaned back against the wall behind him. I wiped his eyes and gazed into his emerald depths. The ever-present gleam that once filled those eyes had disappeared.
"Why is my life like this?" he said. It wasn't a statement full of angst, sadness, or pain. It was monotonous. It was full of the emptiness he felt. It was enough to bring tears into my eyes. He continued with his weak, unstable talk.
"Why, 'Mione? I do everything I can, and fate acts like I'm a criminal. I hate this damn world. I'm ready to leave it." Fire flared up in his eyes. I felt almost afraid of him.
"Harry . . . " It was so hard for me to talk. I could not tell him everything. I just couldn't.
"No. I'm a weapon, that's all I am. Let the world fall around me."
"Please don't talk like that, this wretched world would be nothing without you."
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm a monster. I kill everything I touch, or love." He spoke these last words slowly, not looking at me the entire time. I did not see the moment for what it was. I did not want to believe that he felt something between us, especially when he was vulnerable.
"You know that's not true. Harry, I could not stand this place without you." He let his gaze fall upon me. I felt it pierce through me. Silent realization began to dawn on both of us. The smallest smile made its way onto his lips. He nervously moved his arm around me, and I leaned onto him.
"Harry, I . . . " He pressed his finger over my lips.
"Words are nothing," he said with a gleam in his eyes, something that had not been present in those beautiful oceans for quite some time. We sat there staring into the infinity for what felt like all night.
"Words are nothing," he repeated before letting himself drift to sleep. I let myself fall asleep within his warm embrace. He needs me now, as a friend I told myself. Maybe more than a friend. Just maybe. I leaned up and placed a kiss on his forehead. He looked so peaceful sleeping.
"Words are nothing, love," I whispered before laying my head on his chest and forgetting all worries.