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Absence by diggingupophelia
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Absence

diggingupophelia

A/N Thank you to all of you reviewed. The next chapter is almost done. I fixed the formatting, yay me! I stayed up until 4 in the morning trying to fix it so you could actually read it without having to decipher ancient runes! Have fun, and remember if you haven't read it yet, leave a review.

Absence: Chapter One

Hermione just stared ahead in utter disbelief. There had to be a logical explanation for this. Hermione quickly searched her mind for all of the possible answers. "Well I know I'm not dead" was all that she could manage to sputter. "But you are" she reached out again to touch the figure who stood before her. The man was so solid and warm, ghosts weren't warm she knew that. The next thought that went through her mind was that maybe this was a cruel joke played on her, her heart was breaking all over again and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. The man who stood across from her just reached out his hand and brushed her tears away with the tip of his thumb, as he did this that familiar warm feeling spread across her body and there was no longer a doubt in her mind. Hermione threw her arms around him and just let herself cry as many happy tears as she could muster.

She pulled herself away from the man standing in front of her and her eyes drank in the sight of Harry Potter. The man she had loved since she met him, but didn't realize until the night before he died…then she corrected herself, the night before he disappeared. Harry had managed to kill Voldemort, but no one could find him. The whole wizarding world searched for days and days but no one could find him. Hermione was grief stricken, she and Harry had been together since the summer of 5th year and in one day it was all taken away. All of it.

Now Harry spoke up, "I'm not dead. I…I"

Hermione didn't care where he was for the past four years, all she cared about was that she was in his arms right now. Right now was as good a time as any for Harry to come back, there were less complications now. She was horrified at herself for thinking that, Ron was not a complication - he was your best friend, your husband, almost all that you had left after Harry… she wouldn't let herself remember what life was like when Harry wasn't there. Then she remembered she had to tell him about them…

Harry interrupted her thoughts by lifting her chin so until her brown eyes were level with his emerald green ones; somehow she thought that there was less luster in his eyes now. " I wasn't dead, I was in hiding…the Order made me go into hiding…they weren't sure Voldemort was really dead…so I had to pretend that I was…" he was angry with her and Ron for not realizing, he was angry at Dumbledore for not telling them, angry that he had been forced to live these past four years alone and with one word all of that anger came out of him, "dead".

Hermione's heart stopped, and she reached out to him. She could tell that he wanted to back away from her touch but he didn't. "Harry I…we…Ron had no idea"

"It's ok, I mean it isn't like you were upset I was dead anyway, you married Ron what three weeks after they buried that empty coffin?" He asked, but he knew the answer full well, he had seen it in the Daily Prophet, it had made front page news. When he read the headline his screams could have been mistaken for the cry of the werewolf. Harry had smashed everything in his path and lived in the wreck of a house for six weeks until he used the `reparo' spell and finished his period of grieving. "I just came to tell you I…I'm sorry about Ron"

"Harry" her eyes were screaming the truth to him, but he couldn't hear it, "Harry, I didn't want to marry him, I…"

"Then why did you marry him and so soon?"

"It was Dumbledore's idea, I had to make sure I was protected from him"

"Why? Why did you forget me so easy?"

Hermione was getting irritated, "Forget, I never forgot, ever!" as she said this she thrust her left hand at Harry's face, he grabbed it in disbelief, it was the engagement ring that he had bought and had never had the chance to give her. "Ron found it in your things when he was packing up the dorm, we decided it would be best to use this one, since you were the reason we had to be married in the first place"

"What do you mean had to be married?" Deep in his heart Harry knew he knew the answer to that question. He had gone over the situation over and over again in his mind when he was alone; in the weeks before the final battle, Hermione had waken up on more than one successive morning with the sudden urge to vomit, and she was tired all of the time. Harry had had his suspicions but he didn't say anything to her, he wasn't sure why though.

***

Hermione found herself back in Dumbledore's office the day that she was getting ready to go home and learn to live her life without Harry

"Ms. Granger" Dumbledore said as he looked up from the pensieve, "I'm glad to see that you're right on time" His face seemed to have aged a hundred years since she had last seen him before they all went to fight.

Hermione sat herself down in the chair, she wasn't quite sure why she had been summoned into the office, and then as she was looking around, she noticed that Ron was in the office too. "What the bloody hell is going on here!" Hermione hadn't meant to be so cross, but she was dealing with too much right now.

"Ms. Granger," started Dumbledore, "There is something we need to tell you. Now we know we have lost Harry" Dumbledore looked to her as if he were about to cry and he hesitated a bit before he went on. "But Madame Pomfrey has informed me of your condition. Am I correct in assuming our fallen hero is the father?"

Hermione just nodded and reached her hand over her abdomen as Dumbledore kept on talking, "Well, we aren't sure if Voldemort is really dead yet, so we need to make sure that you are protected, he can't know Harry has children"

Then Ron cut in. He was on his knee in front of her holding what looked to her a ring that was very similar to the engagement ring she had told Harry she adored in passing once. "Hermione, you are my best mate's girl, and he gave his life so you and all of us could be free, so I am going to do right by him and you and protect his children for him. So please say that you will marry me so that we can work together to keep Harry alive. I can't promise that I will take Harry's place because I can't and I won't, but I can promise that your children will have a father and a house full of love. Because I do love you in my own way"

Hermione knew that this really wasn't a choice. She had no choice in the matter, she had to put Harry in the back of her mind and live out her life for their children. So she took the ring and put it on her finger and whispered "yes" through a wall of tears.

**

"I was pregnant…with…"

"Ron's children… I see you didn't waste any time" As soon as the words flew out of his mouth he was horrified with himself.

"Harry! You know that isn't true. Honestly, I know that you knew that I… that we… that we were going to have a baby when you took up your wand and marched out onto that battlefield!" Harry's expression didn't change, he just stared at her. She always knew what he was thinking, always and even now that hadn't changed. He didn't even need to ask the next question, "Where is our son or daughter?"

"Our son AND daughter are home, I didn't think it was a good idea for them to be at the funeral" She saw his stunned expression followed by that smirk, "Legillmancy" then she paused not wanting to admit that she could still read him like her tattered copy of Hogwarts: A History, "Why are you here now, Harry?"

"Because Ron died, because I knew you would be here, because I know I killed Ron"

"No, Draco Malfoy killed Ron"

"He died trying to avenge my death"

Hermione's heart was aching. She was angry that thing had to turn out this way, it should have been that immediately after the battle, all three of them should have been put into hiding so that she could have had Harry always and so that Ron could be alive and happy with Luna. "He died because it was time for him to die, he knew and so did I…" her voice trailed off.

Harry just looked at her, she was still so beautiful, but he felt a pang of guilt, could he really allow himself to have a relationship with his dead best friend's wife? " Hermione, I know this isn't the absolute best time, but I want you to know that I love you"

" I know, and I love you" she paused just taking him in, she was still in shock that he had returned, "But this is not a bad time…" she didn't want to make herself say the things that she had been thinking earlier, it wouldn't have been fair to Ron. Ron, thoughts of him got caught in her mind and she couldn't wash them out just by looking at Harry no matter how hard she tried to focus on other things she couldn't bring herself to remove Ron from her thoughts. Her mind flashed back to the time just before they were married, when they found out that Harry had died fighting Voldemort.

***

"Hermione" Ron whispered as he sat next to her in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts, "I don't really know if you can hear me right now or not, but I have to tell you. Maybe if I tell you, you'll wake up and…" Ron broke off into a fit of crying. Hermione heard all of this, but she didn't open her eyes, if she kept her eyes closed then maybe she wouldn't have to face the truth, that is what she was thinking. But then Ron stopped crying and then grabbed Hermione's hand, "Harry, oh God Hermione, Harry he didn't make it…no one can find him….all that is left is a pile of ash and his glasses…his wand is even gone. I promise I will get who ever did this, I'll get revenge for you and Harry"

Hermione opened her eyes, they were brimming with tears as Ron reached for her hand and squeezed it as hard as he could. Ron had known that Hermione was pregnant, Madame Pomfrey told him because she had almost lost the babies, but she didn't…for that Ron was greatful. He couldn't stand to watch her suffer the loss of so much in such a little time. Ron never asked for Hermione to help him grieve Harry, never, instead he stood by her and gave her all of the support he could give…he tried as hard as he could to fill as much as the gap he could that Harry had left behind.

***

Hermione focused on the coffin that was being lowered into the ground for a moment before Harry's touch pulled her back. "Voldemort is dead Hermione. We could finally have the life that we were meant to have."

"I know we could" she turned to him and just kissed him deeply. All those old emotions came flooding back to her. No longer was Ron tangled in her thoughts, Harry's kisses freed Ron from her mind momentarily, he would never really leave her, that she knew for certain. Yes she had grown to love Ron, but she would forever be IN LOVE with Harry.

"Let's start by letting me meet…"

"Lily and James"

"You named them after my parents? A little cliché don't you think?" he said in shock, the tried to cover it up with a joking tone. He had two children … that was more than he could have ever hoped for.

"Ron named them, he thought it was a nice gesture" she said as she turned her head to the place where Ron's body was now resting for eternity.

"Well I can't wait to meet them" Harry said as he grabbed Hermione's hand and brought it to his lips. "I have missed you so much"

"Me too. Let's go then, Ron isn't really here anyway… he is someplace better than this" she lead Harry by the hand to the Apparation point so that they could go back to the home she had shared with Ron at Godric's Hollow so he could meet his children and Ron's children, the children he would have to father for the best friend who died.

***

As Harry and Hermione disappeared, Dumbledore walked out of the wooded area with a red headed Weasley and stood near the open grave. Ron threw a white rose on to the empty coffin.

Dumbledore spoke first, "You have done a very noble thing for your best friends, Ron"

"They were supposed to be…" Ron was going to add but you ruined it and it was the least I could do, but he didn't. Dumbledore never did anything without everyone's best interest at heart. "I'm just glad you told me he was alive. If I had to see Hermione so upset for one more day, I really would be in the ground, and Harry finally needs to be loved"

***

Fin

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