(Hey Everyone! Well I have FINALLY worked through my writers block, I'm not completely happy with this chapter and I think that's mainly because I'm really itching to be back at Hogwarts again.. I think I have just one more chapter left at the Grangers and then we get to go back to school and then things will hopefully pick up and get more interesting and I'll be spiraling down to an end for this fan fic soon! Which oddly I'm excited about mainly because I'm interested to see what you all will think and of course get started on sequel two.. for those of you who hadn't read my reviews, I already have an outline for sequel three if everything goes well!! Hee hee.. I hope you enjoy it and I really really do thank you for all your reviews, they mean a lot and have helped so much with overcoming the writers block! THANK YOU--- P.S. Sequel number two shall be called "An Echo Of Love's Devotion." )
CHAPTER 15
The bed in the guest room was very spacious and extremely comfortable, but Harry still found himself tossing and turning. It just didn't feel right not having Hermione next to him, he let out an exasperated sigh and lay on his back, wide awake.
"Harry?" He heard a soft whisper coming through the wall next to him.
"Hermione?"
"I can't sleep, can you?"
Harry smiled to himself wondering if Hermione couldn't sleep for the same reason.
"No." He answered turning his face towards the wall so she could hear him better through it.
There was a long silence before Harry heard her speak again.
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm… I'm afraid. She's gone Harry, she's really gone forever."
Harry closed his eyes, he knew she was crying and it was hard not to hold her close as a way to comfort her.
"She's gone Hermione, but I don't think she's gone forever. Dumbledore once told me that death was the beginning of a new adventure, and I think… I hope he's right."
There was another long silence before Hermione spoke again.
"Harry?"
"Mmm?"
"Are… Are you afraid of death?" She questioned with a hesitant tone.
Harry sighed heavily. He hadn't ever thought about dying during his battles. He wasn't brave, actually he was really foolish in most cases, he just did what he felt was right.
"I don't think I'm afraid of dying myself Hermione, I'm not trying to be brave, it's just something I never think about, I just know what I have to do… but I do worry about losing the people around me… I worry about… never mind."
"Tell me Harry."
Harry sighed again.
"I just worry about you getting hurt, it nearly killed me to see you just laying there motionless in the Department Of Mysteries," Harry tried to fight the picture of Hermione he had captured that day out of his mind. "You were so still Hermione, I thought you were… I thought you had… died."
There was a slight pause as his words sunk in.
"I worry about you the same way Harry… year after year you've had to face so much,"
"We've had to face so much." Harry corrected.
"It's you who's had to face the most… each time you were in the hospital wing I'd keep wondering, how much more can you take? , how much more can you survive? I've never had any doubt in your abilities Harry, but Voldemort is still the most feared wizard on the planet and I'd be a fool not to be worried about you… you mean so much to me Harry, I just can't picture my life without you." Her already soft voice became quieter with each confession.
"Then don't… we need to live today and stop worrying about tomorrow, it'll drive us mad if we don't stop. I'm not `The Boy Who Lived' or `The Boy Who Needs To Fulfill A Prophecy', I'm Harry… just Harry, the boy who's fallen in love with you, and I need you to see me that way."
Harry lay in the silence waiting for her to say something, wondering what was going through her head and whether or not he made her blush.
He heard her sigh.
"You're right Harry, Voldemort's succeeding because we're living in fear. From now on, your Harry, just Harry… my Harry." Her tone of voice became more cheerful and he grinned as his heart gave a double leap at her last two words.
He heard Hermione give an exhausted yawn, and he knew she was holding back sleep in order to keep him company.
"I think we both need some sleep Hermione." He said gently.
"I'm not tired." She said quickly.
"I know you are. You'll need your strength tomorrow… I think I'll be able to sleep now." He added so she wouldn't find a way to wriggle out of getting a proper rest.
"Okay." She whispered. "Goodnight Harry."
"Goodnight my Hermione." He said softly before he curled himself up next to the wall so it would feel like Hermione was closer to him. Somehow sleep overcame him very quickly and he fell into a deep dreamless slumber.
Hermione lay on her back running the conversation she and Harry just had through her mind. He had just called her his Hermione, what a feeling. It sent millions of tingling pulses through her entire body, and sent her heart into a pounding frenzy, it was such a high, such a bliss to be so special to someone who meant so much to her.
Hermione flipped over on her left side.
He wasn't afraid of his own death, but he was afraid of her getting hurt, she felt the same, what she wouldn't give to ensure her Harry would be safe… But no, she said she wouldn't do this to herself, more importantly she told Harry she wouldn't, it was time to live today and forget tomorrow.
Hermione flipped to her right side and snuggled up to the wall beside her, it almost felt like Harry was right next to her, she could have sworn that the wall even felt warm against her chilled skin.
***
Harry sat next to Hermione in the front row of a silent, but nearly full church. She had laced her fingers with Harry's, her delicate hands were trembling slightly, but a cool and dignified look had washed over her face.
Miss Granger had been cremated. Her ashes stood next to her photograph on a large wooden table just before them, in a small red maple box.
Harry gazed at the picture of Hermione's mother. She was beautiful, just like her daughter, and Harry imagined she must have looked much like Hermione does at a younger age. With that thought in his mind, Harry almost felt like he was at Hermione's funeral. His cheat tightened as if a vice was trying to rip his heart in half, and he started to take short quick breaths when he felt the pain in his throat begin to choke him.
"Harry?" Hermione squeezed his hand. "Are you okay?" She whispered.
Harry took a quiet but deep breath, she was right next to him, he couldn't do this to her, she needed him now and he wouldn't allow himself to break down.
"Yeah…Are you okay?" He asked softly.
She nodded and returned her attention to the front of the church.
Harry took a quick glance at Hermione's father, and saw the hurt that accumulated in his now tense face, he couldn't imagine what he was feeling, what he was going through, and he wished somehow he could let Mr. Granger understand that he wasn't alone.
Hermione had been watching Harry from the corner of her eyes and noticed his bright green eyes rested on her father.
She noticed the nearly none apparent space between herself and Harry and then noticed the slight gap between herself and her father, he looked so alone, so tired and afraid. She reached her free hand and allowed her delicate slender fingers to rest in the curve of her father's rough hand.
Mr. Granger closed his eyes to hold back tears that just pleaded to escape, then he looked softy at his beautiful daughter and gave her an almost none apparent smile. He looked over at the boy who held Hermione's other hand. In his bright green emerald eyes, for the briefest moment, Trevor saw the boy who had been forced to become a man.
The funeral was quite a blur to Harry. It had gone by quickly with many people crying while paying their last respects to a woman who seemed to be a large involvement to the community where she lived, a woman who was strong and passionate for those who had trouble speaking for themselves, a woman who had her life tragically taken away from her when she was not yet ready to leave her husband and daughter behind.
Hermione hadn't cried once during the funeral. She held her head high and the dignity Harry had seen at the beginning had not faltered once, not even when Hermione presented her speech to the many family, friends and community members who had attended to say goodbye to Amelia. Harry was suddenly forced to notice how strong Hermione was, while at the same time she was incredibly delicate and insecure. There were many times when Hermione presented Ron and himself with the dignified look and tone, which made Harry wonder just how much she must have been hurting deep inside. This thought pierced at Harry's heart and clouded his mind through the entire car ride to Hermione's home.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She whispered to him while eyeing the rear view mirror to see if her father was listening.
Harry shook his head.
"Not right now." He whispered back. "How are you feeling?"
"Numb." She answered with a sigh, forgetting that she was trying to avoid attention being drawn to herself and Harry.
Harry put his hand overtop of hers.
"I know you don't want to hear this… but it's going to be alright Hermione."
She nodded. "We've got each other." She whispered without noticing that her father was watching and listening to them both. "And I still have my…" She stopped herself.
"You still have your dad." Harry said softly for her. "It's alright Hermione, you can say it."
"But Harry … you… you haven't got… anyone." She whispered knowing it must be causing him so much pain to hear such harsh words.
"That's where you're wrong Hermione." Harry said softly giving her a lopsided grin and her hand a gentle squeeze. "I still have you, Ron, the Weasley's, and hopefully Lupin will be okay, and of course Dumbledore."
"Your right Harry, we're your family… we'll always be here for you no matter what."
Harry grinned knowing she now understood him and hopefully didn't pity him for not having his mother and father in his life, they were of course, and always would be his parents, but he had grown to consider those around him as a part of his family and he had grown to like the idea of having such a large family by choice.
Since the car ride home, Hermione had become immensely quiet. Harry began to fear that Hermione's battle to overcome her pain had just taken a turn for the worse.
When they had arrived home, Hermione excused herself and went to her room, Harry thought he would give her some time to herself and thought she would come out in a few hours ready to talk about it, but she hadn't done as Harry had thought. Instead, Hermione remained in her room for hours on end. When she hadn't come down to dinner, Harry decided it was time for him to take dinner to Hermione and see what he could do for her.
It was already dark when Harry loaded a large plate with Hermione's favorite foods. Mr. Granger sat in the living room with a half empty bottle of whiskey, he didn't look well and Harry hoped that Hermione's father wouldn't continue to find comfort in alcohol. When he reached Hermione's room, he gently knocked on the door and waited for Hermione to give him permission to enter, but she didn't.
"Hermione it's me, can I come in?" He asked gently.
Silence, no answer.
Harry turned the knob and cautiously edged the door open, only to find the room completely empty.
Panic began to surface, and he had almost dropped the plate full of food which balanced in the palm of Harry's left hand. Quietly and quickly he placed the plate on a shelf, swiftly removed his wand from his back pocket and began to cautiously search the room.
"Hermione!" He called dropping to his hands and knees to see if she had hidden beneath her bed.
"Harry?"
"Hermione where are you?" He yelled wondering if Hermione had preformed some kind of spell that possibly went wrong.
"I'm out here… on the roof."
He edged cautiously to the window with his wand ready, maybe it was a trap?
He saw Hermione sitting near the window watching him and giggling.
"The look on your face was priceless." She laughed.
Harry sighed in relief and shook his head at her amusement.
"What are you doing up here?" He asked climbing out the window to join her.
"I used to do this all the time when I was younger, I guess you could say this was my way of escaping." She said flashing him with her famous toothy grin.
Harry grinned back and she cuddled herself up into him.
"Mmm, you always smell so good." She stated.
"Well I guess my `don't shower and smell incredible' plan is working then."
Hermione jerked her face away from his shirt and looked up into his face, Harry burst out laughing.
She gave him a playful scowl and punched his arm.
"You're such a prat." She huffed.
"And you wouldn't have me any other way." Harry added.
"No your right, I probably wouldn't." She said resting her head on his shoulder.
He buried his face into her dark bushy hair and inhaled her spicy scent.
"I brought you some dinner." Harry stated caressing her stomach with the tips of his fingers.
"To be honest I am rather hungry."
"You should be, you hadn't eaten all day." He answered.
Harry began to get up.
"Just a few more minutes?" She begged.
"Okay." He answered with a grin, putting his fingers back on her stomach and caressing her gently.
They sat together on the rooftop of Hermione's house under the brilliant shimmering stars, and perfect crescent moon for another half an hour before Harry gathered Hermione in his arms and placed her safely on the bed in her room. She ate her dinner leaned up against Harry's chest, and his fingers running through her dark chestnut hair.
This was bliss, Harry was right, they needed to live today, but Hermione couldn't help but become excited about tomorrow, Christmas day.
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