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Hidden Desires by looneylupin
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Hidden Desires

looneylupin

Chapter 3: Broken

Chapter 3 by looneylupin
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Harry blinked as the sunlight poured into the room. He could feel the burning sensation on the back of his eyes, he really needed to find some kind of charm that would protect him. Sitting up he checked his wrist watch and saw that it was already 2 in the afternoon. He was surprised that Ron let him sleep so late.

Gathering some clothes he ran to the bathroom and quickly showered and got dressed. After that he made his way down to the kitchen where he knew everyone would be. Sitting on one side of the room was Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Remus. On the other side of the room was Anathiel.

"Morning Harry," she spoke calmly.

"Morning? Don't you mean afternoon?" He asked with venom.

"I told you last night that you were a smart ass." Anathiel smacked him on his ass as he walked by. Harry jumped and turned around and glared at her.

"You... you know that?" Ron stuttered as Hermione smacked him on the arm. "I mean her?"

"Er, yeah. Why?" Harry asked.

Ron leaned over and whispered as if everyone in the room didn't hear him. "She is a vampire.."

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend before he sat down beside of Anathiel. She pushed a glass full of dark liquid toward him.

"What's this?" Harry asked eyeing the glass.

"Drink, it will help." Harry thought for a minute before he realized she had handed him a glass of blood.

As soon as he had downed the entire glass he felt alive, more alive than he had his entire life. His senses were heightened, he could hear the tiniest exhale of breath. He saw that Ron and Hermione were staring at him from the other side of the table.

Trying his best to ignore the stares he was receiving from his best friends Harry thanked Anathiel and told her that it made him feel much better.

"Harry?" Hermione asked him quietly. "Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm feeling fine Hermione, why?"

"You look so pale, are you sure that you aren't sick?"

Harry understood what she was talking about and quickly thought of a lie to cover it up. "I uh, I just haven't been outside much this summer is all."

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Anathiel paced the drawing room of Number 12, she was waiting for Harry to sneak out of bed and join her. She had to show him how to get his own food. She couldn't stay with him forever. Harry had done well all day, hiding his true identity from his friends. She had to admit that the girl was smart, if Anathiel didn't stay away from Harry she was sure Hermione would figure it out.

In no time Harry was standing in the doorway watching her pace with a smirk on his face.

"What took you?" Anathiel asked him.

"Ron, he wouldn't stop talking. Sorry."

Slowly they made their way down the empty street, drifting between the shadows cast by the street lamps. Harry was tempted over and over to ask her where they were going but decided against it. He needed to learn how to feed on his own and he was sure that asking to many questions would surely drive Anathiel away.

The light of the neighborhood was fading from around them, they were in complete darkness only Harry could see perfectly. The slight breeze fluttered the leaves in the trees, the streets they were walking through were void of anyone, the entire place was deserted.

"Where are we?" Harry asked in a whisper.

Anathiel stopped and peered around at the boy before answering him. "We are in a part of London where only the beggars and braggarts go. You won't find much here, this is where we feed."

Harry stared at her dumbfounded. "I thought we wouldn't find anything here?" he asked staring at the homeless man holding out his cup for him to fill. His heart broke for them.

"Exactly the reason we come here. No one will miss these people."

Harry could here the spite in those few words, no one would miss them. How had these people ended up where they are, food for the un-dead? Harry watched as she approached an older man, mid seventies at least. She wanted Harry to help her with him but he couldn't bring himself to it. He couldn't make himself murder a human...
Anathiel lured the poor man closer to her with a promise of food, she leaned closer to whisper into his ear and bit him. As the blood quenched her, she looked up to Harry to see that he was not looking. In fact he seemed to be trying his best to ignore what was going on. Draining the old man dry she let his body fall to the ground and did a quick vanishing spell to remove him from her sight.

"Why weren't you watching?"

"I was distracted, those girls over there.." Harry pointed to the group of young girls across the street. They were clearly trying to keep his attention.

Anathiel thought for a moment before responding. "Fine then, you go over there lure one of them away and feed."

"What?" Harry yelled. He couldn't believe he was going to have to do this. "I, I can't do that, I can't take another persons life!"

Anathiel peered down at him, it was only then that he realized that she was close to his age. She was at most twenty years old. The girl really was rather beautiful, her dark hair hung past her shoulders, grey eyes that could peer into your soul. Harry was transfixed with her eyes, it was as if she was controlling him. Disregarding earlier conviction about the task Harry strolled across the street to the group of girls.

"Hi," one particularly outspoken one said to him. She had been the one giggling at him before.

"Hello, would you like to go for a walk?" Harry asked with a confidence he had never before experienced.

The girl blushed before nodding at him in agreement. Out of the corner of his eye Harry saw Anathiel approach them and begin to follow them. Harry walked the girl a couple of blocks before he became annoyed with her incessant rambling. A small alleyway was near and Harry could feel fatigue taking over. If he didn't feed he would be too weak to make it home alone. If he did feed he would be killing an innocent girl.

The girl stopped him in front of the alleyway and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. He could see her jugular vein pulsing and he was so close to her. One taste wasn't going to hurt him...

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Anathiel watched Harry from afar, she had doubted him at first but now she saw that he would be able to take care of himself. She had watched him walk the girl around the streets struggling with his inner conscious. After turning away for a moment she had found them in the dark alleyway. He had the girl leaned up against the brick wall draining her of her life. To an innocent passerby it would appear to be meaningless sex, nothing more. To someone who knew better it was easy to see.

"Never drink after their heart stops.." she informed him.

Within a matter of seconds Harry had let the girl's body fall to the ground with a thud. Anathiel waved her wand and the body disappeared.

"Ready to go home?"

Harry never answered.

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Harry was having an inner battle with himself the entire way back to Grimmauld Place. He hadn't even realized that they were back. Instead of going to bed he walked slowly into the kitchen and slumped into a chair. Expecting to be alone, he was mistaken.

"Rough night?" Remus asked him.

Harry nodded at the man.

"I understand.."

"No you don't, you have no idea. I killed a girl tonight." His voice was shaky.

Remus couldn't say anything to help him, he had never been faced with something like this before.

"I know someone who can help you and I don't mean Anathiel." he spoke softly.

Harry perked up slightly, he lifted his head from the table where he had slammed it before and stared hard at Remus.

"Now don't say anything until I am finished Harry, I know what I am talking about." he took a deep breath. "Severus Snape, he is a vampire as well."

Harry stared blankly at his former professor. Had he really just said that Snape was a vampire?

"You are joking right?" Harry smiled at him, his fangs threatened to show.

Remus neither smiled nor laughed, Harry knew he was telling the truth.

"How can he help me?"

Remus took a sip of his tea and stared at Harry over the edge of the cup. The boy genuinely wanted and needed help, Severus had not offered but he needed to help Harry.

"He has a potion that can feed you for a month at a time. He doesn't kill anyone I can promise you of that. I can ask him to help you?" Remus questioned him.

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Harry stared at Remus for a moment, the thought that he would never have to kill anyone else pounding at his head. Then he was back in the moment he had taken the girls life. The warmth of her blood flowing into his mouth, the sound of her heart beating in his head as he drank. The rush of death sweeping her away. He had been in a different world at that time, he was one with the girl. Could he really go without doing that again, without feeding from a live person.


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"Harry, are you awake?" Hermione's voice carried across the room.

Harry rolled over and blinked, the outline of Hermione was standing over him.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"3pm, for the past week you have slept late. Why are you sleeping so much?"

Harry stared at his best friend. She really was beautiful when she was angry. He shook his head against the thought and watched her tap her foot.

"I've just had a lot on my mind is all."

Hermione seemed to believe him and left him alone for the rest of the day. Harry had spent a lot of time with Remus during the week. His former professor had spoken to Severus Snape about making the potion for Harry so he wouldn't have to drink human blood. The potions master reluctantly agreed to help him.

Harry was ecstatic that it was the last day of summer before the term started, he couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts. The rest of his day was spent packing his clothes that in the course of one week had spread throughout the entire house. Hermione had questioned him relentlessly if he had finished his summer assignments. She really could be bossy sometimes but Harry found himself thinking over and over how much he really appreciated her and would die if he ever lost her.

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"Come on you lot or you will miss the train!!!!!!!!"

Harry heard Mrs. Weasley scream as he ran down the stairs. Harry muttered to himself quietly as he hoisted his things into the ministry car cursing the fact that he had to be up at 7am just to get to the train station. He didn't understand the point of having to leave so damn early.

The ride to the train station was a quiet one, Harry fell asleep leaning on Hermione's shoulder before they even left the house. Soon enough he was pushing a large trolley through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10.

The scarlet steam engine was sitting and waiting for the students to board when Harry crossed into the platform. Students were everywhere saying goodbyes to their parents and loved ones. This was always a time when Harry wished he had someone to say goodbye to.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Malfoy standing there with his bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy spotted Harry and smirked at him before continuing his conversation with the two apes that he called friends. Harry saw Ron and Hermione standing with Mrs. Weasley and Remus close by and he made his way over to them.

"Now you be on your best behavior Ronald.." Mrs. Weasley scolded.

Ron's ears turned scarlet as he nodded to his mother.

"Oh and Ron before you go any farther tie your shoes, you will fall.."

"Ok mum.."

Harry laughed at his best friend quietly.

"Harry I want to say something before you go." Remus told him. "Trust Professor Snape with the potion, he may not seem the most friendly person out there but he will help you."

Harry nodded and shook Remus' hand.

"Ron watch out." Hermione yelled at him.

Before anyone could catch him Ron had fallen face forward and busted his lip on the concrete. He had tripped over his shoe laces.

"Bloody Hell.." he muttered as he stood up.

Harry reached a hand out to help him. Ron grabbed his hand and stood up facing Harry, blood was dripping from his bottom lip. Harry turned away from Ron to try and keep the blood away from his vision but it was too late, he could feel his fangs growing.

Harry covered his mouth with his hand and walked away from Ron to try and calm down. His body was heating up, the blood had affected him greatly. He wanted to taste the metallic fluid so much it hurt but he had to control himself or someone would see him.
Taking a moment to straighten up, Harry walked back over to Ron where Mrs. Weasley was wiping the blood away with a napkin. He could feel the urge again, if only he could just lick the blood away he would be satisfied.

Someone was watching him, he could feel their eyes on the back of his neck. His fangs were growing again and he couldn't control them. He turned around quickly and stood face to face with Draco Malfoy.

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