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Hidden Desires by looneylupin
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Hidden Desires

looneylupin

Chapter 5: Regret

"Harry!" Hermione squealed from the other side of the table. "Are you even listening to professor Dumbledore?"

He nodded softly and slightly turned towards the old headmaster. He had been spending the entire dinner staring at Malfoy across the great hall. Since that afternoon and he had first tasted his blood, all he could think was that he wanted more.

He ate bits and pieces during dinner but only because Hermione made him. She had continually watched him all evening and she unnerved him. How was he supposed to hide his distaste for food, with her watching his every move?

Soon enough he was slowly making his way back to Gryffindor tower when he encountered Draco Malfoy again. He wanted to pin him against the wall and drink him, dry right there but he couldn't. It was a normal scuffle with none other than Ginny being the one to make him back down.

He had begun to walk up the grand staircase when someone laid their hand on his shoulder. He turned around slowly to the face of Severus Snape.

"Potter, I need a word with you. In my office now!" He whipped around with his cloak billowing behind him. Harry bitterly followed.

The dungeons were as they had always been, dark, damp, and dreary. The jars of potions ingredients glistened on the shelf behind Snape's desk. Harry sat down in the seat in front of it.

"Potter, it has come to my attention that you are in need of a special potion. The Malignas Cruentus, the blood potion." He sneered slightly. "I will not lie to you and say that it is exactly like blood but it will satisfy the hunger if brewed properly."

"Sir, are you going to prepare this for me?"

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Harry smiled slightly on his way back to Gryffindor tower after his talk with Professor Snape. He had already tasted the potion and decided that it really wasn't that nice. He had no idea how he was suppose to survive without human blood.

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A month had passed since the semester began. The Malignas Cruentus potion had been sustaining his hunger but not his thirst. Every time he saw Draco Malfoy he could feel his fangs begin to grow. More than once Ron had asked him why he stared at the blond.

Late one night while Harry strolled around the castle he was grabbed from behind. He quickly turned around with his fangs out only to see Anathiel.

"It's about time you came out here." She said as she released her hold on him.

"How long have you been here?"

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Hermione waited in the girls dormitory stairway, under Harry's invisibility cloak, for the common room to empty. She was determined to figure out where he was going to every night.

She was worried about him, he didn't eat, he barely slept. He was pale and looked very sick. She spent hours researching Harry's symptoms. They all added up to the same thing, he was dangerously depressed.

Harry got up and left the common room and she followed closely behind. He has been pacing around outside of the castle for a while when a girl stepped from the shadows and grabbed him.

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"So, you have been here since the beginning of term but you wouldn't tell me?" Harry leaned against the castle wall with his hands across his chest.

"Listen, I would have but that girl is always around. She's a real know it all, she would have figured out."

"She is my best friend, even if she knew I don't think she would care."

Anathiel walked slowly over towards Harry and leaned up against him. Smiling seductively she ground her hips against his, he groaned loudly.

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Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing. This girl was practically screwing Harry, her Harry, her best friend. Anathiel was a vampire, didn't he realize this?

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"You know Harry, this is the problem with making a vampire. You feel connected to them," she leaned in and kissed him on the neck before biting him and licking the blood from his neck. She drew back slowly and licked her lips. "You taste good."

"Oh God, please?" Harry moaned. He stood up and flipped her around so she was pinned against the wall.

"Oh, I like it rough!" She licked her lips again.

"You have no idea what you have done," he leaned his body against her and began grinding his, hips into her. "You saved me from death. You made me like you." He bit her neck and licked at the blood. She shuddered underneath him.

"It's better this way, you can live forever."

Harry backed away from her and laughed a maniacal laugh. "I want to die, I want to see my parents and Sirius again." He stepped up beside her and grabbed her arm and tossed her to the ground. "This is the reason I hate you!" His fangs grew and he growled deeply. "You made me like you!"

"I MADE YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE DYING!" Anathiel screamed as she jumped from the ground.

"MAYBE I WANTED TO DIE!"

"Fool, waste your life whining about everything happening to you and how no one understands you!"

"You think you understand me? Do you think you know what I am going through?" Harry walked close to where she was standing.

Anathiel smiled at him and laughed. "I know what you are going through. Before I was made, I was a witch, I had a family that loved me. Voldemort killed them and left me to die, someone found me and I became what I am now."

"You have no idea what it is like, you knew your family!"

"Don't you think that would make it worse? The pain never dies, the never ending questions of why I was left and they had to die, the endless nights."

"Why did you do this to me?" Harry asked calmly, it seemed as if he had gotten out everything he wanted to say to her.

"I did it, I did it because I was lonely and you were dying. I watched you for a week before that night. You were dying inside long before you picked up the blade, I could feel it coming. When I saw you there, bleeding, I made a choice, I was lonely."

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Hermione had never felt so many mixed emotions before in her life. She listened intently to the conversation that Harry and Anathiel were having, some of the things that Harry was saying surprised her. She didn't know that Harry was as depressed as he had been, that he had tried to kill himself. What surprised her the most was to hear the confirmation that Harry was a vampire. She wasn't taking it nearly as hard as one would imagine, after all he was still Harry.

That night as she lay in bed staring at the ceiling in her dormitory she couldn't help but think about him and what he must be going through. She knew that Ron didn't know about this or else she would have already found out. Should she let Harry know that she knew what was going on? Would he want to know how she found out?

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Harry walked slowly back up to the castle doors, he could still hear Anathiel raging somewhere behind him. He had stopped listening to her after the first five minutes. He had smelled someone different, it was a smell he was familiar with but he couldn't place what it was.

He reached the castle doors and slowly pushed them open as he checked for signs of a professor, filch, or the blasted cat, Mrs. Norris. Assuming that the coast was clear he headed for the grand staircase mumbling to himself the entire way.

"Bloody bitch, who does she think she is? I should have killed her just now, get her out-"

He could hear footsteps behind him as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, a shadow danced around him. He turned around quickly only to be grabbed and shoved against the wall.

"Don't say a word Potter or I will tell everyone in the damn school what you are!" they held their hand over his mouth and had their body pressed against his hard enough to keep him pinned to the wall. Slowly he lowered his hand.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry sneered.

"I know what you are Potter, so don't play stupid with me. I want to make a deal with you.." Malfoy slowly backed away from Harry giving the other boy room to breathe.

"Why should I make any kind of deal with you?"

"If you don't then the entire wizarding world will know what you are, not just the school..."

"Exactly what am I ferret?"

Draco visibly growled at the stab of his past before continuing. He leaned in and whispered softly in Harry's ear. "A vampire..."

Harry stared at the blond dumbfounded, how had he figured out what he was?

"It doesn't take a genius to follow the clues you left behind you Potter, the bite on my hand, your look of longing every time you see me. You want more, admit it. You can just taste my blood on the tip of your tongue."

"Malfoy if you don't shut your damned mouth then I will kill you. Now what do you want?" Harry growled.

Malfoy stepped slowly away from Harry, far enough away that he was able to lean over the railing and stair down the couple floors below them.

"My father told me I was going to receive the dark mark when I am of age, that is only a few months away."

"Wonderful, Malfoy, should I kill you now or wait until I meet you in battle as a death-eater?" Harry laughed.

"I'm not stupid Potter, I am not becoming a death-eater. Fathers side is losing and I don't want to die..." He turned around and faced Harry with a serious expression on his face. "That's where you come in, I want you to make me a vampire."

Harry laughed loudly after he heard Malfoy. "Wait I thought I heard you say you wanted to be a vampire? Are you losing it, do you not understand that you will be dead, undead if you become a vampire?"

"I'm afraid of death Potter! If you don't make me a vampire then I will tell the daily prophet tomorrow morning that you are a mindless blood sucking monster." Draco smiled.

"You wouldn't!" Harry demanded.

"You think, do you really want to take that chance?"

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