Setbacks and Inspirations
Ch. 6 - Revelation
James looked at the disguised Lily with a look of excitement.
"What?" he shouted, "Does she have nice knickers?"
Sirius glanced at Lily out of the corner of his eye and then back to James. Not knowing how to respond, his answer was unimpressive.
"Well…," was his only reply.
"What?!" yelled James again, "Are they red ones? Give me the goggles; I want to have a try."
He stood up and approached Sirius. He tried to grab the goggles away but Sirius quickly held them out of reach. James, not seeming to notice that the girl who owned said knickers was very much awake, leaped for the goggles and was almost successful. If she had not been so terrified, Lily would have thrown something at him.
"Well. Uh. My goodness, look at the time!" exclaimed Sirius after withstanding James's offences, "We're almost there. Out of the room you three it's time to change into proper attire. Two at a time people, two at a time. It'll get messy otherwise."
Sirius physically removed his friends who seemed to be too confused to argue. Once they were skillfully shoved into the hall he slammed the door shut, frantically charmed it locked, put a silencing charm on the room, and then turned back to Lily. She was still bewildered.
He said nothing and with each second that passed, she began to feel more and more awkward. After a while he whispered, "Evans? Merlin, is that really you?"
Lily didn't answer. He moved closer.
Looking down at her he said, "Evans, I know it's you. The goggles saw right through your spell."
So it's out then, thought Lily, he's going to tell everyone. She gradually let out the breath that she had been holding in so tightly.
"Yes, yes it's me," she confessed.
She looked up at him warily to see Sirius staring at her with an amused expression.
"Why on Earth are you wearing a disguise?" he questioned.
Lily didn't know how to answer. She felt the movement of many butterflies in the pit of her stomach. They felt more like roller coasters actually.
How in hell am I going to talk myself out of this situation?
Lily said the first thing that came to mind. This was one of her many bad habits, saying senseless things when under pressure.
"No reason," she declared, trying to sound believable. "Just needed some alone time I guess."
The look of doubt that surfaced revealed that right away he wasn't convinced.
"Oh come on. That's just ridiculous. I want the truth Evans."
He put the goggles back on.
"You're the one who's ridiculous Black," she retorted. "You should see yourself in those goggles."
Maybe I can distract him.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't change the subject luv, come on, what're you hiding?"
Able to tell that he was getting more anxious by the minute, Lily knew things were just getting worse. At this point, she was a bit annoyed by his curiosity. She was starting to understand how Peter must feel about her own interest toward him.
"It's not really any of your -"
He cut her off, "You know I could always invite James back inside. He's always up for a laugh."
"What do you care that I'm wearing a disguise? It's not half as weird as some of the things you do."
"Of course it's not. I am a Marauder," he replied quite proudly, "But if you came across a prefect who was wearing a disguise, Remus for instance, wouldn't you be a little intrigued?"
"No," she replied stubbornly, "and I'd respect their privacy even if I was."
"Of course you would," he remarked sounding annoyed and sarcastic at the same time.
"All right," she sighed, "you've made your point. I'm still not going to tell you though."
Sirius grinned at her. A grinning Sirius was never a good thing. "Oooooooh Jaaaamsey!" he wailed.
In a flash, he'd removed the silencing charm and had begun to howl a second time.
"Stop it Black! Stop!" yelled Lily. She desperately grabbed her wand and put the silencing charm back on the room. She frowned in defeat as he smiled in victory.
"I'm not supposed to say anything, the Ministry won't allow it," she said, pouting.
He raised his wand to remove the charm once again.
"Wait!" she shouted. One person finding out was far more desirable than four.
"I wait for no one Evans," said a grinning Sirius. He took James' goggles off.
Lily was feeling even more irritated with Sirius's adaptation of cross-examination. She decided in the end though that he didn't have too many bad intentions. Lily knew that she wasn't going to get very far if she didn't tell him. Things would only get more complicated. Her heart started to race once again as she wondered how he would react when she told him.
Here goes nothing, thought Lily.
"Well, long story short," she started, "I was in an accident, I became paralyzed, and I didn't want to confront anyone till we got to Hogwarts."
Almost immediately, the smile left his face. He let the goggles drop to the floor.
As he lifted his hands to cover his eyes, he said "Merlin. Lily, I'm sorry. I had no -"
"I know. I'm not angry."
She offered him a comforting smile. For some reason, now she felt awful.
"How? How did it happen?"
No matter how awful she felt, she knew she couldn't tell him.
"I was in a car accident," she lied.
Sirius accepted the explanation at first but soon looked confused. Slowly, he sat down on the edge of her bench.
He looked at her with those fathomless eyes.
"Why couldn't you be healed than? If it wasn't a curse…" he trailed off.
Lily did not really know how to answer this time.
She settled with, "I'm not sure why. It was probably too severe to heal."
He was quiet for a while and she was starting to feel self-conscious. Something about Sirius made her feel this way, unsure of herself. Needing to do something productive, Lily removed her disguise. After a little struggle, she managed to get rid of her sweater as well. Quite efficiently, she had worn her Hogwarts uniform beneath.
When he realized what she was doing, he stood up and faced her.
"Let me help you with the pants Lily."
And as he did so gently, he wouldn't look her in the eye. She couldn't recall a time when he had ever looked so solemn. She also couldn't recollect any occasion when Sirius had called her by her first name either. He sat back down and looked at his shoes.
"Sirius?" she asked.
"Yes?"
He still wouldn't look at her.
"Sirius, look at me?" she pleaded.
He slowly complied. Again, she smiled reassuringly.
"Forget about it. Really, I'm not angry, I promise."
As Lily said this, she couldn't help but wonder why they had never truly talked before. They were getting along so well. Of course, Sirius was never like this. He was always a playful, annoying, confident prankster. In previous years they had never really fought, all the same, they had never had any meaningful conversations either.
"I feel awful Lily. Why do I always have to be so…"
"Persistent?" she answered for him, a little teasingly. She really didn't want him to feel so guilty. She knew how that felt.
Sirius, with his elbows on his knees and face in hands, looked the picture of a man in distress. A few moments later, he looked at her again.
"Bloody hell, would you get over it. I said I'm not upset. Besides, the last thing I want is to be pitied. Honestly!"
Sirius stood up again but didn't face her this time. He seemed to have chosen to ignore her previous comment.
"So, none of your friends know?" he asked.
She shook her head in response.
"When are you planning to tell them?"
"In our dormitory. I told them to meet me there during the feast," she explained.
He turned his head and looked straight at her. He looked away again.
"It's going to be hard to get there you know. Without being spotted I mean," he mused.
"Not really. I'll just wait till everyone's left. Hagrid's going to leave a carriage behind for me."
He nodded and considered this for a moment.
"What about James, Remus and Peter? They'll still be outside the compartment. How are you going to pass them? I'm sure they'll be quite interested as to why they were excused so hurriedly."
Lily frowned.
"I have no idea," she admitted. "Maybe I could -"
Lily's suggestion was cut short by the loud thundering noises that began booming through the walls of their room.
They both flinched.
"Shit; they're trying to get in," cursed Sirius.
"I know. What am I going to do?" asked Lily. She was starting to panic again.
"I don't think they'll be able to get in. They shouldn't be able to, unless they use -"
Sirius stopped short as a low rumble shook the small room.
"Ok, they're using them. They're definitely going to get in," said Sirius, looking apprehensive.
"What are they using? What do you mean they're going to get in? I have to think of something."
The rumbling was getting louder and louder with each passing second. Sirius looked like he was rooted to the spot, as if he was debating with himself about something. Almost immediately, one side must have won the debate, for Sirius ran to the other side of their room. He ducked under the bench and pulled out a black duffel bag.
"If you think I'm going to hide in that bag you are one sorry git Black," said an extremely aggravated Lily.
Sirius ignored her again as he hastily pulled a dark cloak from the bag. Sirius approached her again looking more solemn than before.
"This is an invisibility cloak," he explained quickly. "It's James' and he would kill me if he knew I was showing it to you. Especially you. If I'm to let you use it, you must promise to tell absolutely no one of it and you must put it in our dormitory before everyone gets back from the feast. Everyone's bags will be back by then so you'll have time. Do you understand?"
Lily nodded, a little frightened by this side of Sirius. He'd gone straight from unusually sincere to unnervingly conspiring.
She had to act fast, for the rumbling was becoming louder. She took her now miniature wheelchair and attempted to transfigure it back to its normal size. She failed to, miserably. Potter was good at transfiguration, not her. Sirius swiped it from her, put it on the ground, and did it himself. He lifted her quickly and unromantically dropped her into the chair.
"I just hope it's big enough," he mumbled before wrapping the cloak around her body and the chair.
Just when he finished adjusting it so that nothing was visible, the rumbling stopped. After a few seconds of silence, a final blast echoed throughout the room as the compartment door flew open. Three Marauders stood behind it with looks of content on all of their faces. Quickly, they changed into looks of displeasure and anger.
James walked in and looked around. "What in hell was that about?" he yelled at Sirius.
Sirius shrugged his shoulders with a look of innocence on his face.
The two other boys followed James and entered the compartment. They looked around as well. Lily moved and ducked quite a lot to avoid being discovered as she moved toward the exit. It was almost impossible doing so with only one hand. Her other was occupied with the task of holding the cloak closed. Lily got there as Sirius told his friends a ridiculous story of how "the girl" had disappeared and how she had controlled his mind to do what he had done.
"She was like, in my head and stuff. I swear!"
As Lily entered the hall, she saw many heads poking out of various compartments. The noise must have drawn almost everyone's attention.
She slowly made her way through. The whole time all she could think of was what would happen if the cloak slipped or if someone decided to leave his or her room as she was passing by it. She seemed to be moving so slow that it was truly agonizing. She had to get to the exit before everyone else, before the train came to a stop. It seemed like every few seconds she was turning her head to look behind her. When was almost halfway there, she turned her head to see someone walking in her direction.
Panicking, Lily looked forward. There was nowhere to go; the hall was too narrow to avoid the person approaching her. Even squeezing toward one of the sides would be useless. She faced forward once again and pushed herself further with all the force she could muster. She held the cloak closed within her teeth. With an extra arm, now she was stronger and could quicken her pace.
She was going much faster however every time she turned to look the person was closer than before. She was almost at the exit but wasn't close enough. She could identify the figure now. It was a seventh year Hufflepuff girl and she was right on Lily's tail. Within seconds, they would surely collide.
Lily stopped pushing forward, closed her eyes and braced herself.
I hate giving up. Nevertheless, what can I possibly do?
Seconds passed and no collision occurred. She turned around and the girl was nowhere to be seen. The door of a compartment just inches behind her slid shut.
Hell that was luck, thought Lily, letting out another held breath as she faced forward once again.
She looked at her watch.
What am I waiting for? She asked herself. She pushed her wheel chair forward again and with no further interruptions, she reached the end.
It was good timing too because just as she did, she felt the train slow to a stop.
The door opened and a ramp appeared for her instead of the usual stair. Deciding not to question this, she rolled down it instead. Lily descended into the cool night air and looked around. Everything was surrounded in darkness as Lily moved so not to block the doorway, and into an area where no one would walk.
People passed her by and made their way to the horseless carriages. Riley and Charlie looked normal and so did Potter's clique compared to their previous excitement. As Sirius passed by, he didn't seem to notice her. Peter looked oblivious and so did James. Remus was closest to her as he walked by and he didn't appear to detect anything strange either.
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It took more than half an hour for all of the students to leave. When everyone was gone, Lily took the cloak off and folded it onto her lap. Just then, Mr. Boyle jumped off the train to stand beside her. He cleared his throat and she craned her neck to look up at him.
"Yes?" she asked.
His only response was a long, low whistle. A horseless carriage that seemed to appear from nowhere, stood in front of them.
"Neat trick," she said, quite impressed.
"Thanks. Have a safe trip Miss Evans."
"Thank you. I will," she replied. "I'll see you on Hogsmeade weekend Mr. Boyle."
He nodded with a smile and disappeared back onto the train.
When she got to the horseless carriage, again the steps turned into a ramp.
Interesting, mused Lily.
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The trip to Hogwarts was short, far too short for Lily's liking. In little time she would have to tell her friends everything, well, almost everything. She still didn't know if she should tell them how the entire thing happened.
Lily got out of the carriage and approached the entrance of Hogwarts. As she thought they might, the stairs turned into a slope.
I wonder if Dumbledore had anything to do with this, thought Lily.
She wrapped the cloak back around her shoulders, took a deep breath, and pushed her wheel chair forward once again.
***************
Lily made her way up to her dormitory easier than she had expected. She had encountered no ghosts, no students and to her luck, all of the staircases reacted the same way as she drew near. She was the only one there when she got into the cozy Gryffindor common room and she still had time to spare. Luckily, Dumbledore hadn't forgotten about adjusting the common room door for Lily's use.
As Sirius had instructed, she put James's cloak back into its rightful place in their dormitory. After that, she went to her own and waited restlessly for her friends to arrive. They should have been there already.
"Where are they?" asked Lily aloud.
The almost indistinct sound of Charlie's laughter answered her question.
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