Disclaimer: See Ficlet 1
A/N: Written before the release of HBP for Anne's birthday and finally getting posted here.
Hope
It was calling to him.
The Veil, fluttering slightly in a nonexistent puff of wind, was calling him.
He could still see in his mind the look of surprise on Sirius's face as he fell, and thought with a twist of bitterness that there was something wrong that the moment of death was also a moment of grace, the way his body had arched backwards-until he'd disappeared.
He was standing in front of the Veil again, drawn inexorably across the room by its odd fascination.
He could hear the voices whispering, calling. The Veil fluttered again as if to beckon him in.
His parents were there, he somehow knew. His parents were waiting for him, with Sirius. He could go to them, could join them.
It would be so easy- so very easy- just another step and he could be through… Just another step and he could see his parents again. He could see Sirius again…
And he'd be free. There would be no Voldemort, no Prophecy. He'd be free-and happy…
His scar burned and he flinched and heard in his own head Voldemort's cold, cruel, hissing tones, "Yes, give up, Potter. Why stay here when it'd be so easy to just give up? You can't defeat me; you have no chance. Just give up and never feel pain again."
Never feel pain… He remembered Dumbledore's saying that his pain and his grief over Sirius meant he was alive. Alive-and hurting. Being alive meant to feel pain.
But why-why, when it would be so easy to go through the veil and be free? Free from pain, free from fear, free from worry, free from the burden of being Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived?
His hand reached out of its own volition, slowly, fingers stretched to just touch the Veil…
He could hear the whispers. "Harry…" "Go on, Harry…" His mother's voice, "Harry, we're waiting, we're so close…"
Another inch-a centimeter-less-and his fingers would be brushing the Veil. So close. So easy.
"Harry!"
He jerked, his hand dropping. The voice was louder, in his ear.
It was Hermione-her voice higher than usual and taut with fear, with concern.
"Harry! Wake up, Harry, it's me…"
The Veil was vanishing, the stone room going too.
It was gone.
And he was in the Gryffindor Common Room, Hermione's worried face bending over him.
It had been a dream-and he felt a stab of loss, of disappointment.
So close. He'd been so close…
And for a moment he was almost angry at Hermione for waking him up and stopping him.
"Harry, what is it? Are you okay?" Hermione was pale, looking to be close to tears at whatever it was she could see on his face.
"I- I don't know," he heard himself say. "I don't know how to go on like this, don't know why I should. I- I just don't know… Is it worth it?"
He stopped at the look on Hermione's face, feeling immediately guilty for blurting out his doubts like this. It was his problem, his questions; he shouldn't be burdening her with the odd, depressing musings of his tired brain.
She sat down next to him, staring into the fire in thoughtful silence before she sighed. "I don't really know; I can't explain. It's too much, too unfair that you have to go through all this. But Harry, I think-I think, in the end, it is worth it. Life is worth it. Because-because of hope. We just have to hope and believe that somehow it'll be better tomorrow and better the day after that… We just have to hope."
He sighed softly. Hope. But sometimes it was the hardest thing to do.
"And Harry," Hermione began softly.
He turned to look at her, seeing the sympathy and the simple caring in her eyes.
"You don't have to do it alone. You have Ron-and me. I'll help you. I won't leave you."
He didn't say anything-he couldn't. a lump of emotion was obstructing his throat and he knew if he spoke, he'd say something to embarrass himself.
But he met her eyes and managed a slight smile-and knew she understood.
And then he leaned back against the couch, somehow very conscious of the warmth from Hermione's arm as it brushed his.
Hope.
And at that moment, sitting next to Hermione, he couldn't help but feel that maybe-just maybe-this, this feeling, this comfort, this friendship-this girl-was what would make it all worth it. Maybe, after all, it wasn't such a hard thing to hope…
Never forget that, until the day God deigns to reveal the future to man, the sum of all human wisdom will be in these two words: Wait and Hope.
~Alexandre Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"