Author's Note: As promised, some fluff to make up for all the angst of the last post.
Her Happiest Thought
"Think of your happiest moment, Hermione. Something that never fails to make you smile. And just hold on to that thought."
I nodded, facing the trunk which was shaking, in the Room of Requirement.
Harry nodded slightly and then stepped back slightly in front of me, opening the lid of the trunk with a muttered spell.
A dementor came out, large, menacing and dark, lifting one bony, spectral hand to point threateningly at Harry. I was vaguely aware that Harry had gone completely white, beads of sweat breaking out. And knew he felt the same clammy coldness that had seeped into my very bones as well.
Think! I told myself sternly. I needed to concentrate, think of my happiest moment. I remembered one birthday where Mum and Dad had taken me into London and we had spent the day in the British Museum and then at Hatchard's; it had been a wonderful day, just them and me and so many books and interesting things to see in the British Museum… My happiest mo-
But it was so cold, so dark.
The memory of that day in London flickered- I couldn't think anymore, could only feel…
Somewhere in my mind I heard a scream, saw a body fall off a broom from high in the air, heard my own voice screaming, "Harry!" and felt the same certainty, the same horror that he was dead… Harry was dead… I couldn't think, couldn't feel anything but the same cold deadness inside. Saw the cruel face of Antonin Dolohov as he pointed his wand at me, felt the piercing pain of his curse go through me again…
I had shut my eyes but I forced them open and I saw the black form of the Dementor again… Then I felt a hand grip mine- Harry's- and heard his voice yelling, "Expecto Patronum" and immediately saw the burst of bright white light that heralded the Patronus as it herded the Dementor back into the trunk where Harry locked the door with a trembling hand.
I sat down heavily. "Dear Merlin," I said faintly. "I'd forgotten how bad Dementors were."
Harry sat down beside me, handing me a Chocolate Frog, while he also ate one. "Yeah," he said, his voice grim. "You don't have to do this, you know."
I shook my head. "No, Harry, I do. I can conjure my Patronus on my own but I've never tried to do that facing a Dementor. I need to know how to do that, need to practice." I repeated my old argument, the one that had first started this. Harry had agreed reluctantly and we'd finally managed, through the help of Dumbledore, to get a boggart trapped into a trunk which we'd then moved into the Room of Requirement (since obviously we couldn't find a real Dementor somewhere, nor would we really want to). This was our first real practice session with it. And I'd already failed the first three attempts.
"You might want to try a happier moment or just think of whatever makes you happiest, whether it's real or not and concentrate only on that," Harry advised quietly, his voice weary.
I looked at him sharply. "Are you sure you're ok, Harry?" I didn't mention, knew I didn't need to, that he was actually more affected by a Dementor, even a boggart-Dementor than I was. And much as I wanted to know I could conjure a Patronus against a Dementor, making Harry suffer to do it was out of the question. Harry was more important than my own need to know.
But Harry shook his head, his lips set rather grimly. "No, I'm ok, really." He managed a ghost of a smile. "Come on, ready for another go?"
I stood up, tightening my grip on my wand. "Yes."
Again the Dementor loomed up before us and again I felt the chill seeping into my bones, my very heart and soul, it seemed.
I shut my eyes against the black-ness the Dementor carried with it, and focused instead on happiness, what made me happiest…
And suddenly I knew. Saw the smiling faces and heard the cheers but I didn't care for any of that; all I cared about and all I heard and saw was his voice, yelling in jubilation and triumph, and his face, lit up with the widest of grins… I closed my mind to any other thought but that and opened my eyes again, the second I cried, "Expecto Patronum!"
And then there was bright light and I saw my Patronus otter push the Dementor further away, back towards the trunk.
I heard Harry also yell, "Expecto Patronum" and saw his stag leap out and help my otter push the Dementor back, back, until Harry managed to close the trunk on it.
My otter gamboled playfully around the stag's head before both Patroni faded.
I looked over at Harry's smile, which I returned, as he handed me another Chocolate Frog.
"That was great, Hermione, you did it!" Harry smiled.
I grimaced rather ruefully. "For a time there, I wasn't sure I could. How did you manage to do it 3 years ago?"
He shrugged, suddenly looking somber. "I don't know. I did it because I knew I had to. You and Sirius needed me to do it." His voice softened, faltered slightly on saying Sirius' name.
I only nodded, putting my hand on his arm. Harry's grief over Sirius was one thing I knew I couldn't really help him with by talking about it; all I could do was let him know I was there for him. As I always would be.
We were both silent for a moment when Harry finally said, "Come on, we should get back. We've done enough tonight."
"Yeah, and I still need to do some reading for DADA tomorrow," I agreed.
We left the Room of Requirement together and were nearly back at Gryffindor before Harry asked curiously, "What happy thought did you use to conjure your Patronus?"
I smiled slightly. "The first few times I used the memory of my 10th birthday when my parents took me into London to see the British Museum and Hatchard's. But then that didn't seem to be working so I changed it. To what I knew was definitely what made me happiest." I paused, hesitating. Should I- could I tell Harry the truth of what my happiest thought was? It would tell him so much more, put into words what I'd been trying not to think of for months now… But then I knew I couldn't lie to Harry, not about this. It was too important. I looked back at Harry, who was looking at me curiously, and spoke softly. "I thought of you, your face when you won the Quidditch Cup. Your happiness made me happy too. My happiest thought," I finished simply, "is you."
~*~*~*~
A/N 2: This is the sequel ficlet to "Her Happiest Thought", from popular demand to know how Harry reacted.
Care
"My happiest thought is you."
The words echoed in my mind and I forgot to keep on walking. Forgot everything except her words and what they meant…
I- I was her happiest thought? Did that mean she-- My mind stuttered on the thought.
She stopped and looked back at me with a curious little smile on her face. I studied her, suddenly wondering if I'd ever really looked at her before, ever really seen the warmth in her eyes when she looked at me, the boundless affection and loyalty.
I remembered the way she'd come with me to the Department of Mysteries even though she didn't approve of what I was doing (and she'd been right, too, I remembered with a half-stifled sigh).
"I- Hermione, does that mean you- you-" I couldn't say the word, love. It seemed to get caught in my throat. I tried again. "Does that mean you care about me?"
Hermione walked back to where I was, lifting one hand to cup my cheek in her palm. Her eyes met mine and I had the sudden thought that I could happily look into her eyes like this for the rest of my life. Those eyes filled with so much emotion, the eyes I knew so well.
She smiled softly. "Harry, I've always cared about you and I always will."
"I-" I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it again, suddenly unsure of what I could say. I returned her smile. "I care about you, too."
Hermione's smile deepened ever so slightly and then she raised herself up on her toes and before I could react or guessed what she was going to do, she brushed her lips against mine. It was the most fleeting touch, so light I could almost have thought I'd imagined it except for the way my mouth tingled.
And then before I could think about moving again, she stepped back and continued on towards the Fat Lady's portrait. Leaving me to stare after her.
She cared about me- and I cared about her. She was still Hermione, my best friend, but for the first time I wondered if maybe, one day, we would be more than friends. And I felt it for the first time, the potential for a deeper, closer relationship than what we already had. It couldn't happen yet; neither of us was quite ready for it. But it would happen, I suddenly knew. Because we cared…