PLEASE READ!!!!
Hello Everyone! Long time no see. I'm guessing you all are wondering where I've been for the last few months. Well as I said in my last chapter post my summer was spent mostly traveling. I was able to spend 7 weeks in Europe, then I traveled to Las Vegas and then to Denver. So I wasn't just sitting around I was doing lots of traveling. Also it seems that my writing muse loved Europe so much that it stayed there a few months without me. But luckily for she's came back ready to write and I for one was very happy about it.
In other news I just wanted to pimp about Phoenix Rising. A group of H/Hr fans want to make this conference have a huge H/Hr fan meet up. They are already planning a meet up and everything. If you are planning to go to Phoenix Rising and want to know about all the meet up info as well as other people who are planning to be there(Like me!) go here http://community.livejournal.com/phoenix_hhr/ and if you have no idea what Phoenix Rising is go here http://www.thephoenixrises.org/ and check it out. It's looking to be a great time I know I can't wait.
Now you may notice that there are two chapters that have been put up. Don't get too excited because one is the PG-13 version and the other is the R. So this is the PG-13 chapter if you want to read the R chapter, go back to the previous chapter. I have put the rating in the title list thus all is good.
Oh and I so don't own these people, well Emily is mine, but aside from that JKR does and I only wish I did.
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Chapter 9
Moving on with Life
It was hard to breath. That was the first thing Hermione noticed when she woke. She could feel a weight on her chest and her right arm felt like it had pins and needles sticking in it.
It took her several minutes to realize that it was Harry that was causing these problems to her body. Harry was, in fact, laying half on her, his head resting between her breast and his warm breath puffing out over her skin.
It was then that the events of the night before came rushing back to her. The story of what happened to Emily, to Harry guilt of the deaths of his sister and grandmother, then to his fear of their intimacy. Her chest suddenly felt heavier then it did moments before and it had nothing to do with Harry's extra body weight.
The fact that Harry was scared to be intimate with her meant that the roles they would normally take would end up reversed. She would have to be the strong one. She would have to tell him that it would be okay, that it would only hurt her a little and she would have to hide that it did hurt the best way she could.
She knew it would hurt; her mother had made sure she understood that before she was married. But then again her mother also told her that her husband would have experience and know what to do.
Hermione realized with sudden clarity that she needed to stop listening to the things her mother had told her. Yes, she knew this a little bit before but now, after last night, nothing her mother ever said covered this. Plus according to Luna and Ginny her mother's information was very much outdated.
She was on her own on this one and that scared her more then anything. No one could tell her how to act in this situation. There was no book to read that had the answers. No one else had ever been through anything close to what Harry had and there was no other wife who had had to take the lead.
Hermione was startled out of her thinking when she felt Harry's head shift slightly and his lips kiss the side of her breast.
"Good morning." Came the gruff voice of Harry.
"Good morning. How are you feeling?"
"Oddly enough better then I have in a long time."
"Maybe because you were able to talk about what happened."
"I've talked about it before with Sirius. But I think that maybe it was talking to you. I've been waiting to talk to you about it since it happened."
"You have?"
Harry sat up a bit so he was looking down at her. "Hmm. I wrote you asking that you could come for a visit since the war was over. That Emily had died, that I needed to see you, to talk to you."
"I would have been here in a heartbeat had I known."
"I know."
Hermione stared at Harry for a long moment before she leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. It only took a second after she had pulled away for Harry to kiss her. She felt her head hit the pillow as Harry pushed her back on the bed. His body pressing her deeper into the mattress.
Her hands fisted themselves in his hair as she felt his hands start to explore her body. She felt his hands come to rest, one on her thigh, the other on her side just next to her breast.
Hermione broke her mouth away from Harry's just long enough to whisper two words.
"Touch me."
She didn't know what came over her. She never thought that she would be bold enough to ask or say things like that to him, or anyone. But she did and he nodded before letting his thumb that hand been resting under her breast sweep upward and over her nipple.
A rush of sinful heat went through her body as she arched more into his hand and body. But fate it seemed didn't want her to enjoy this sinful pleasure for very long, because just as Harry was moving to touch her other breast a small popping noise echoed through the room.
Hermione watched sadly as Harry pulled away from her quickly to find the source of the noise.
"Master Potter mes sorry to bother you. But yous guest is waiten." Dobby said as he stared at his feet.
"It's alright Dobby. Tell our guest that Hermione and I will be down shortly."
Hermione watched as the elf nodded his head before popping away. Harry signed before rolling off Hermione to his side of the bed. Her body suddenly felt cold without his on top of it.
While he was still lying in bed Hermione sat and made a move to get out of bed, she knew that she would have to dress quickly in order to get downstairs. But as she turned to tell Harry that she was going to get ready something caught her eye.
Down at the junction of his legs Hermione noticed a large bump pushing up the sheets around it. After a moment of thought Hermione blushed when she realize what it was. She looked up at Harry's face only to see that his eyes were closed and he was taking deep breathes. He almost looked as if he were in pain.
"Does it hurt to leave it like that?"
Harry's eyes shot open to stare into hers. He shifted uncomfortably before sitting up allowing the sheet to rest on his raised knees.
"No…no I'm…um…fine. Just needed a moment."
"Are you sure? You don't want me to help?"
Harry suddenly looked like a fish out of water as his mouth bobbed open and closed. As he seemed not to be able say anything Hermione moved closer to him and placed her hand on his thigh.
Harry almost jumped out of the bed in his eagerness to move away from Hermione's hand.
"As much as I would like you to, we still have guests downstairs. And this is not the appropriate time to do that."
"But Harry, you can't very well go down there like that, can you?" Hermione asked tilting her head to the side.
"Uh... Don't worry it will take care of itself."
Hermione watched as Harry slowly got out of bed and made his way to his washroom. After Harry shut his door Hermione followed his lead and went to her washroom to get herself ready for breakfast.
In record time Winky was able to get her ready for breakfast and Hermione was back out in her bedroom waiting for Harry. When he appeared from the other side of his washroom door, she noted, he looked as he had for any other morning of their marriage.
"Is it wrong for me to want them to leave them as early as they can?" Hermione asked.
"No, I was thinking the very same thing."
Hermione smiled sweetly at Harry, as they descended the stairs to the dining room as they quickly took their seats Hermione couldn't help but notice that Luna and Ginny kept sending her sly smiles as they took bites of their porridge.
As a breakfast continued slowly Hermione couldn't help but sending Harry small glances, wondering what he was up to. And every now and again he would catch her eye, sending her a small smile.
"Well as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It seems it is time for us to ready ourselves for the journey home" said Charlie.
"Yes, we don't want to be getting off too late in the day." Added Fred.
At once, everyone stood up from the breakfast table and headed to his or her respective rooms. Hermione on the other hand waited in the entrance hall as Harry went to make sure the horses and carriages were prepared
A part of her was going to miss the busyness that the Weasleys brought to the home. But the other part of her was happy to have Harry to herself once again. The night before they had made a major breakthrough in why Harry was afraid to get close to her and she was happy to see where things would go from there.
Slowly, the house started filling with the sounds of trunks and people coming down the stairs. Charlie and Victoria were the first to arrive at the bottom of the stairs followed by Percy and Penelope, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, and finally, Neville and Ginny and Ron and Luna with the children following after them.
By the time everyone was in the entrance hall Harry returned from making sure everything was ready for their departure.
"I'm glad that you could all stay with us for the Halloween ball. I only wish it could have been longer, but know that you all are always welcome in my home. And I hope that you will be staying here for the Christmas Ball." Harry said.
With that, everyone started filing out of the door saying goodbye to both Harry and Hermione before making their way to their respected carriage.
They both watched from the door as the carriages went down the lane, receding out of sight around the distant curve, then headed back into the house. Hermione desperately wanted to ask if they could go back up to their bedroom, but decided against it. She knew it was improper to go back to the bedroom so quickly after a guest had departed. Plus, she did not want Harry to think she was a whore for asking that as she knew he would if she did.
Soon she found herself retiring to the library with Harry and choosing one of the many books on the shelves to read to pass the time.
Hermione wasn't sure how long she had been reading, but it must've been quite sometime, because when she looked up Dobby was standing in front of her with a tray of food.
"Miss must eat. It's much past lunchtime."
"Where is Harry?" Hermione asked.
"He's gone to check some things at the main house. Where's Miss like to eat."
"I guess I'll take it on the desk. Thank you Dobby. "
After Dobby placed the tray on the desk Hermione sat herself at the desk and slowly began to eat the salad. She started to wonder how Harry could've left the room without her noticing. Had he said something to her and she just hadn't let it get to her reading mind?
Yes that is very possible. She thought to herself.
It still amazed her sometimes how she could get so lost of a book. But she had been able to do it since she was a child. People could have complete conversations with her and she would never notice until after she closed a book.
But then again, maybe Harry hadn't wanted to disturb her from her reading. He knew how much she loved books, and soon, once her salad was done she immersed herself back into her book.
The book she was currently reading was a medical tome on giving birth to children. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that she would be having one soon, and wanted to read up on as much as she could on the subject. As she read the book she started to wonder if it was really possible to give birth to children. It made it seem so hard and painful. Why would anybody go through that?
But she knew in the end having a child that was a part of you and part of someone you love was worth it.
Just as she was starting the chapter entitled Rare Ailments she could hear the clapping of horse hooves coming up the drive. Using a spare a bit of parchment, Hermione marked her page before slide in the back on the bookshelf where it belonged.
She was surprised at first at how dark it was outside, but then was grateful that it was dark because then it would be time for bed. To which she hoped they would be able to pick up where they left off this morning.
Hermione met Harry in the entrance hall as he hung his coat from the ride to the main house.
"How was everything?" Hermione asked.
"Oh fine, fine. Is dinner ready?"
"Yes, I believe so. Where would you like to eat tonight in the kitchen or in the dining room?"
Harry laughed. "I think I've had enough of eating in the dining room why don't we have a quick dinner in the kitchen."
Together, the pair walked from the entrance hall to the kitchen to find dinner spread upon the kitchen table for them. They made their way through dinner with little conversation.
After their meals were finished and the dishes were cleared from the table Hermione waited for Harry take her hand and lead her from the kitchen.
To Hermione the walk from the kitchen to their bedroom was the longest she had ever taken. She kept looking over at Harry as he walked beside her but he seemed nothing but calm.
A part of her wished he looked a nervous as she felt. That alone would calm her already jittery nerves. But then there was no guarantee that what she thought would happen would happen.
Did she even want it to happen tonight? This thought made her almost stumble on the stairs. She peeked over at Harry once more letting her eyes wander on his body. It was when her eyes landed on his face that she knew that, yes she did want this to happen tonight.
That morning had sent a thrill through her that she had never felt before and it was addicting. She wanted more. And that thought alone scared her more then the thought of the pain that she might have to go through to feel that feeling again.
Before Hermione even realized it she was standing outside her washroom reaching for the door handle. Shaking herself from her thoughts she walked in to the washroom and proceeded to let Winky undress her.
"Yous need anything else Ms?" Winky asked after placing Hermione in her nightgown.
"No thank you Winky."
Hermione watched as Winky disappeared before she turned and looked at herself in the mirror. This was the moment she needed to decide if she wanted to be with Harry or not. She knew that she couldn't go out looking like she did.
It was then that Luna's words from yesterday morning came spinning back at her.
"Maybe you should just walk around your bedroom naked."
Before thinking about what she was doing Hermione stripped herself of her nightgown and under garments. She looked at herself once in the mirror and noticed something about her look wasn't quite right.
Hair. It was her hair. At that moment it was pulled back into her nightly braid that she always slept in. Deciding quickly that that was the problem she pulled the long braid over her shoulder and unraveled it.
She hated her hair. It was one of the reasons that she never let it down. It always looked so frizzy and never like acted like it seemed the other women's did. But like this, with her body bare, it seemed right. Wild almost.
Hermione jumped when she heard what had to be Harry's washroom door shutting. Closing her eyes Hermione slowly counted to ten before walking to her door and quickly opening it.
Her eyes spotted Harry immediately. He was just sitting on the bed looking at a few pieces of parchment in his hand. Wordlessly she shut the door behind her and that was enough noise to make Harry look up at her.
Hermione felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she watched Harry's eyes widen in shock at her bareness then roam her body before his eyes made their way back to her face.
Like a spell from a wand Harry was out of bed, the parchment that had held his attention fell to the floor, and he made his way to her. His eyes never leaving hers as he made his way around the bed to her, it was a little unnerving and made the blush spread down her neck.
As soon as he was standing in front of her she watched as his mouth bobbed opened and closed a few times before words seems to fight their way out.
"Wh-what are you…um…your naked."
"Yes I am."
"Why?"
"Because I want to be with you."
"Oh. So you…um…want to be wi-with me tonight as in together?"
Hermione stared at him a moment before slowly reaching for Harry's hand and holding it in hers.
"I want to be with you like other women are with their husbands. I want to feel your bare skin against mine, I want to create a child with you, I want to make love to you and do so for the rest of my life because I love you."
Hermione watched as Harry blinked a few times before his head moved towards hers slightly, her eyes fluttered closed as his lips brushed up against hers.
"Are you very sure you want to do this?" Harry whispered against her lips.
"With all my body, heart and soul."
Hermione was barely able to take in a breath before Harry's lips were back on hers, his tongue finding its way in her mouth playing with her own. His hands made their way around her body pulling her flush against him.
A hum of approval escaped from Hermione's mouth as she felt her breast touch Harry's chest skin to skin for the first time.
It was amazing to Hermione how quickly, in her mind, how fast they went from standing to Harry moving her until her legs hit the bed behind her. She drew in a quick breath as she slowly sat on the bed behind her.
Harry made a move to follow her but Hermione put her hand on his chest to halt his movement.
"What?" Harry asked her his voice ruff and low to her ears.
"Shouldn't you…um…take that off first?" Hermione asked as he eyes trailed down to his underpants, that she noticed there was a large bulge in the front of his pants.
" Oh- ah- yes I should." Harry responded, his cheeks taking on a pink hint.
His hands seemed to move slowly from where they had been at his side but before Hermione could think to blink they were at the tie on the underpants. Time seemed to be playing with her mind because one moment his hand was pulling loose the tie the next he was leaning over to step out of the pants.
Hermione couldn't seem to help but close her eyes as Harry stood back up. Part of her wasn't sure she could go through with this plan of hers if she saw what she knew would be going into her in a few short minutes.
She felt his hand cup her cheek and as she opened her eyes she found that she was staring into his intense green eyes. Hermione placed her hand overtop of his tugging on his wrist lightly so he was once again leaning over her.
His lips found hers and as they kissed Hermione slowly moved them further onto the bed until Harry was fully on top of her. Her body seemed to know what to do from then on out.
Her legs parted and she felt Harry's hips press into hers. She felt her body shiver at the sheer nearness of him. All of his skin touching hers, it was overwhelming.
******
She could feel his warm breath against neck as he breathed heavily his body trembling against hers.
Hermione had never felt closer to another human then she did at this moment. And she loved it.
Slowly Harry moved off of her and she couldn't help but be sad that he was no longer as one with her. But after a moment she felt his arms slide around her waist and pull her to him.
Once settled onto his chest Hermione closed her eyes and listened as Harry's heart beat slowed from it frantic pace.
It didn't take long before Hermione felt Harry's arms go slack around her and when she looked up at his face she couldn't help but smile at the peacefully look on his sleeping face.
With one last longing look Hermione snuggled down into Harry's chest ready for sleep to take her too.
But a thought jumped into her head before she could. Slowly, as to not wake Harry, Hermione placed her hand between her hip bones. A smile graced her lips at the thought that because of what had happened tonight she could be carrying their child.
She kissed Harry's chest right above his heart before letting her eyes close as she too slowly fell asleep.
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