Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
that's how my love goes
Strangelove
Will you give it to me
Will you take the pain
I will give to you
Again and again
And will you return it?
There'll be days when I'll stray
I may appear to be constantly out of reach
I give in to sin because I like to practice what I preach
I'm not trying to say I'll have it all my way
I'm always willing to learn when you've got something to teach
And I'll make it all worthwhile I'll make your heart smile
Pain will you return it
I'll say it again pain
Pain will you return it
I won't say it again
Ginny seemed distracted the next few days and Draco tried to avoid her instead of follow her. He couldn't seem to get her off of his mind, and that was dangerous. It was one thing to desire a woman and go after her, but quite another to let her invade other parts of your life. He still watched her, but from a distance.
Ginny was now completely wrapped up in Draco Malfoy. She kept glancing over at the Slytherin table, slyly of course, "Looks like rain, doesn't it…I mean it's clear out toward the lake, but if you look toward the mountains, it looks like rain." Of course, to see the mountains, one had to look in the general direction of the Slytherin table.
Ron paused with his toast half way to his mouth to stare at her. She was behaving a little strange lately, even he noticed. Ginny grabbed her books and headed off to transfiguration with Luna, trying to push her confusing feelings about Draco aside.
The following Saturday was the first quidditch match of the season. Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. The Gryffindors were all extremely excited as everyone headed off to the quidditch pitch. Harry and Ron were two of the team's star players, and had left almost an hour ago. Hermione and Collin had offered to save a seat for Ginny, who lagged behind. It was an over cast day, and though it was only a little after one in the afternoon, the gray skies made it appear to be nightfall. Ginny didn't feel like watching a quidditch match for the first time in her life, and after watching what seemed like the entire school head to the pitch, she decided to use Fred and George's trick of sneaking down to the kitchens for some hot chocolate.
Ginny had almost reached her destination, when a hand reached out and pulled her into the broom closet.
She would have screamed, but the noise from the quidditch pitch wouldn't have allowed her to be heard, and besides, there was no need. Only one person had that masculine, clean scent, and could send her blood to boiling in no time.
"Draco," she said in a soft whisper as his lips took hers in a none too gentle kiss. Draco hugged her close to himself, as he tried to pull her jumper over her head. "Draco…No," she weakly protested.
"I need to touch you. I'm obsessed with thoughts about you. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I need to feel you Ginny, please,…Don't deny me this." Ginny was standing in the circle of his arms, her mouth slightly open at Draco's confession.
She wanted him to touch her; she couldn't deny she liked the way she felt when he did.. Ginny stepped out of his arms and pulled her jumper over her head. It was a good thing that it was dark in the broom closet.
As is reading her mind, Draco said "Lumos," and put his wand on a shelf above their heads, successfully illuminating the tiny space.
Ginny tried to cover her chest with her hands, but Draco wouldn't allow it.
"You're beautiful Ginny, and you've nothing to hide."
Ginny felt her confidence growing under Draco's gaze, and moved her hands around Draco's neck again. Draco began to kiss the smooth column of her neck, making his way to the swell of her breasts over her red bra.
"Red, huh?" Draco asked, one eyebrow cocked.
Ginny would have responded, but Draco was doing such wonderful things to her body that she wasn't sure why her voice wasn't working. Draco was kissing her hardened nipples through the rough material of her bra, and she threw her head back at the sensations this caused. He was making his way down to the button of her jeans, and Ginny took in a sharp breath as Draco's hot mouth rained kisses all around her navel. Draco unzipped her jeans in quick time and they slid down her legs to the floor in a heap. Draco lifted Ginny up onto a small shelf and stood between her legs. Everything was happening so fast, and Draco's mouth hadn't left Ginny's for more than a second or two, and now that Ginny was thinking about it she had no regrets…This was passion, this was what she should be feeling for Harry who said he cared for her.
Ginny felt Draco remove her bra and drop it to the floor, and then noticed he was still fully clothed. She broke their kiss and asked "Draco…Why are you still dressed?"
Draco smiled as he looked down at the sight in front of him, "This is about you Ginny."
Draco again covered her mouth with his and left his hands wander freely over her breasts. Ginny didn't realize how sensitive they could be until right then. She found herself throwing her head back, and when Draco's hand wandered lower, she moaned out loud. Ginny put her head down in shame, but Draco grabbed her chin and forced her face up. "Don't hide, Ginny. You should let me know when you like what I'm doing to you."
Ginny nodded and used the heel of her foot to bring Draco closer to her.
He liked her boldness and growled in her ear, "That's my girl. Now, lift up," Draco commanded as he removed Ginny's knickers, leaving her totally nude in front of him. The only sounds were the screams from the quidditch pitch and their breathing. Draco ran his right hand down the flat of her stomach as his left hand held the back of her neck, as he kissed her.
At the first contact of his fingers against her center Ginny understood why he was supporting the back of her head, to keep her steady. She felt like she wanted to bolt off the table. She was going to die…The pressure building inside of her was becoming unbearable, as Draco slowly worked a single finger in and out of her body; the noise from the pitch was getting louder and louder, and Ginny could feel the muscles in her stomach and thighs tightening as she screamed out in ecstasy. The noise from the pitch seemed to coincide perfectly with Ginny's experience, and she smiled as she leaned her forehead to Draco's.
"It's unanimous, that was bloody fantastic", Ginny smiled at him.
Draco wore a serious expression, and Ginny wondered if she'd done something wrong. "Draco?"
"A virgin…You're a virgin? Why didn't you say something?"
All the wonder at the experience she just had went out the window, "Why are you so angry?"
"Angry! You should have said something…you're not the type of girl I-"
Ginny sat up and began to dress "Not the type of girl you WHAT"? She demanded.
Draco made a decision; he wasn't going to ruin Ginny, He wasn't sure why, but he couldn't do it. Something, something inside of himself told him to push her away, before she got too close. When he looked into her amber eyes, he could feel the warmth she gave; he knew he could lose himself to her if he didn't distance himself this instant. It would be easier to hurt her now, rather than let things progress…She wasn't like the others.
Draco turned cruel eyes to her and said, "Not the type of woman I usually take to my bed. You see Weasley, a man wants a woman with some experience who knows how to please in the bedroom, or broom closet", he smirked, before continuing "Not some scared virgin who lies there frightened."
Ginny gathered all the strength she had and punched Draco in his perfect face. "You stupid, bloody git! You evil bastard"! She screamed.
Draco to his credit resisted the urge to rub the skin around his eye that now stung and itched where Ginny punched him.
Ginny felt the tears, and knew she had only seconds to get away from him. She didn't look back as she broke into a run up to Gryffindor tower, as the crowds of students started making their way back to the castle. Ginny reached her bed and broke down into sobs; she could barely catch a breath. Why was she so upset? She and Draco didn't even have a relationship! She supposed she deserved it. She had allowed Draco to remove all of her clothes in a broom closet! But Ginny didn't regret it, even though Malfoy was still "The enemy" to her friends and family, she had felt like she belonged in his arms. She liked the things he did to her, and his kisses set her whole world on fire.
Ginny could hear the loud Gryffindors celebrating as girls made there way up the stairs. They must have won.
"Ginny? Are you in here?" Hermione called.
Great. Just what she needed. A friend, at a time like this. Ginny wanted to be alone with her thoughts, so she rolled over and feigned sleep as Hermione pulled the bed curtains back.
Hermione saw the fresh tears tracks on Ginny's cheeks and took a seat, letting the curtain fall back. "Ginny Weasley, you are no Julia Roberts. Sit up and tell me what's wrong."
Ginny opened one eye to look at Hermione. "Who's Julia Roberts?" She sniffed.
"A Muggle actress. Now, whatever is the matter? "
Ginny contemplated telling Hermione the truth, but immediately changed her mind. "Nothing, everything…Life…It's just so confusing sometimes, do you know what I mean?"
Hermione wasn't sure what Ginny was talking about, but decided the best way to get her to talk was to get her to relax her guard first, she changed the subject. "We missed you at the game. Harry made the most amazing catch!" Hermione blushed before continuing, "Well, everyone thought he was going to crash into the stands, but he was just showing off. Everyone's celebrating; you should come down and have a butterbeer, get your mind off…life." Hermione smiled.
Ginny did not feel like celebrating, she wanted to see Draco, if only to hurt him like his comments hurt her. "Ginny? Are you coming"?
Ginny slowly nodded, slid off the end of her bed and preformed a beauty charm on herself before heading downstairs with Hermione.
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Draco looked at his reflection in the mirror in his room. She had a good right hook. His left eye, and cheek were already swollen, and his right eye had an ugly purple line forming under it. He thought about charming it away, and then changed his mind. He wanted her to remember, for as long as his bruises lasted, what had transpired between them.
He didn't know what was wrong with him, but it was like she was inside of him, he couldn't go more than a minute or two without thinking about her. He could still taste her kisses on his lips, and when he closed his eyes, he saw her face, her smile, the cute way her nose wrinkled up, and she shook her head when she disagreed with something, the soft blush of her cheeks…Draco shook his head. What the hell was wrong with him? He wouldn't go so far as to say that he cared for her, but why had he not taken her in the broom closet? She was more then willing.
Because she was a virgin, and he didn't take virgin's to his bed. Women were clingy enough as it was, he could just imagine one that had never been with anyone else. His closest mate, Blaise Zabini liked taking virgins to his bed, and would seek them out, but Draco found it tedious work, and had given up after taking Hannah Abbott to the astronomy tower on prefect's rounds in sixth. The poor girl was shaking like Longbottom in potions and Draco had only unbuttoned her shirt. He didn't have the patience Blaise did and left her there.
But why had he pushed Ginny away tonight? To protect her, he told himself. Protect her from what? Evil git's like himself who stalked the women they wanted then discarded them once they had served their purpose? He had spent so many nights imagining what it would be like to have Ginny in his arms…
He'd never done that before. He was usually satisfied with whomever he was shagging at the moment, and since his fascination with Ginny, he'd been with several girls, but he'd always been fantasizing about her. When he tried to do homework, something would remind him of her, everywhere he looked, he saw the color red, and noted that it paled in comparison to the luster of her hair. He was consumed with her. If he wasn't careful, he would be shouting poetry under her window…He hoped he hadn't ruined things completely, yes, his first instinct was to push her away, but that was for her own protection, he was a bastard, and he knew it, but he wanted her anyway. He would have her, he had to.
****************************************************
Ginny's next few days were miserable ones, thinking constantly of Draco. The Gryffindors had a good laugh when they saw Draco's black eye, but Ginny was mortified that she had hurt him. She wanted to apologize, but then she remembered all the horrible things he said. In her heart she felt he didn't mean them, and if he knew how, she was sure he would "express his regret". Ginny doubted "I'm sorry" was in his vocabulary. Ginny was heading to DADA when Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil approached her.
"Ginny, do you mind if we had a word?" Lavender asked.
Ginny was curious, and followed the two away from the other students to a more secluded spot.
"Ginny, dear, what is there between you and Draco Malfoy?" Lavender asked bluntly, while Parvati pretended great interest in the binding of her book. How did they know?
"I don't see how that is any of your business, Lavender, dear " Ginny retorted.
Lavender huffed out a big breath, then continued "I'll ignore you're tone because I feel I'm giving you some very valuable advice. Advice I wish someone had given me. Draco Malfoy is trouble. He'll show you a good time in bed, but throw you out the minute it's over. You'll regret it, and besides, everyone knows Harry loves you, and he'll never Malfoy you. Just think about it."
Ginny noticed during Lavender's speech that Parvati shook her head more than once. "You too?" Ginny asked Parvati.
Parvati's head shot up and Lavender rounded on her. "What?!"
"Well, he, I, it was after I had, um, been with Seamus, and-"
Parvati was cut off as Lavender began a tirade about supposed best friends, and stormed off. Parvati followed and they argued down the hall. Ginny could feel her temper rising, she knew Draco was experienced, but she didn't want to know who he had been with. She groaned out loud at the thought and headed to class.
Ginny sat in DADA, listening to Professor Saltpuffin go on about Kappa's or some such nonsense, she didn't care about and tried to get her nerves to settle long enough to allow her to concentrate clearly. What did she feel for Draco? When she thought about him, she wanted to be close to him. Why? She hadn't known him that long, and yet right now, she felt closer to him than she did to anyone else she could name, but why?
They hadn't had that many conversations between them, yet when they looked at each other; it was as if their eyes communicated thousands of words. Was that all in her head? She wanted him, in the most primal sense of the word, and even when he told her that he didn't want her, she hadn't really believed him. But why did he say it then? Why was he angry that she hadn't been with anyone else? Her mum put such a big store in saving herself that she would have thought it was something special, but maybe Draco was right, maybe he only wanted a woman in his bed who knew what she was doing.
Ginny knew just the man to go to to educate her if Draco Malfoy didn't want to teach her.
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Draco was out of luck when it came to finding Ginny alone. It seemed suddenly like Granger or Loony Lovegood were always with her…And worse than this was Harry sodding Potter. He knew that Harry had feelings for Ginny, the whole school did, but to actually see Harry tentatively put an arm around Ginny's shoulders made Draco furious. Ginny allowed the contact for a few minutes, and then seemed to shrug it off, while reaching for a platter she could have easily asked someone to pass to her. Draco hadn't realized he'd stood up when Harry had placed his arm around Ginny and was watching from across the great hall. Pansy placed a hand on his shoulder to coax him back onto the bench.
"Temper, temper, Malfoy" she purred in his ear.
Draco rubbed his ear where her tongue had just been and shot her his dirtiest look. "Whore." he sneered.
Pansy was unaffected by his insult. "So, itching to be between that Muggle lovers thighs are you, can't stand to know she's shagging Potter now?"
Draco pushed away from the table with such force that several goblets and platters went flying to the ground. He had to get away; he had to clear his head. He hated Pansy! She knew exactly what was going through his head. He didn't believe that Ginny had turned to Potter so quickly, but something was different between those two. He knew they weren't shagging, Potter was too honorable. And Draco didn't just want to shag Ginny, but yes he wanted her, desperately. He would like to think he was capable of more, but in all honesty, he didn't know if he could ever love anyone other than himself. Love?
Ginny turned with every other person in the hall toward the Slytherin table to see what the commotion was all about. She saw Draco storm out, and Pansy smiling as she waved her wand over the table, repairing broken glasses, and platters that had flown to the floor. Tonight was the night she decided. "I think." she whispered.
Harry turned to her, "What's that Gin?"
"Oh, nothing…Just thinking out loud." she smiled at him.
Hours later it was just a handful of people left in the Gryffindor common room. Harry yawned as he tried to finish his potions assignment. Ron looked at Harry's parchment, then his own. "Is that all you've got, Harry? How am I supposed to copy from your work if that's all you've got?"
"I know this is a totally wild idea Ron, but you could try doing your own work, just for a change" Hermione suggested.
Ron rolled his eyes, and yawned, causing a chain reaction, and soon everyone else was yawning too, and saying how tired they were. "I guess I'll head up to bed, then" Ron said as he stretched his long arms above his head.
"Me too" Hermione began gathering her books and saying goodnight to everyone, she headed to her private room.
Harry looked at Ginny and smiled, they were the only two left in the common room now. "Well…I guess we should get to bed too, it's late."
Ginny took a deep breath and walked from her seat on the couch to Harry's armchair near the fire. "Harry, I'm not at all tired." Ginny felt it was wrong. Everything inside of her shouted that this was wrong, but she found herself pushing ahead with her plan. Ginny sat on Harry's lap and thought that his eyes just might pop out of his head for how large they got.
"Ginny, w- what are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious Harry?' Ginny was finding the role of seductress easy when she knew she was 100 percent safe. This was by far the stupidest thing she'd ever attempted, and Harry was too dense to respond. Ginny decided to abandon her plan and tried to get off Harry's lap. Harry surprised her by grabbing her wrist and pulling her back to him.
"Ginny" he breathed softly against her lips as he kissed her. She could feel him shaking, and his kiss was slightly awkward, and Ginny found she ended up taking control of the kiss. She felt nothing; she had full control of her mind and her body. When Draco kissed her, she didn't think, she felt. Harry was hugging her tightly to him and trying to crush her it felt like. Ginny took one of Harry's hands and placed it over her breast, and Harry jumped away from her as if she were on fire. "What is it Harry?"
"It's just Gin…It's not that I don't want to, to" Harry couldn't seem to look her in the eye, "Touch you, it's just that I, well Gin, not here. And I want to understand that this means that you've changed your mind, about us?"
Ginny looked away from Harry and cursed his smiling, hopeful, face. She was totally misleading a sweet, sensitive young man who cared about her for her own selfish purposes. She knew she wouldn't have gone through with it, but the fact that she had gone this far made her feel lower than low. How could she? She was so desperate for Draco Malfoy that she was willing to hurt her friend? Ginny didn't know why she wanted someone so badly who didn't want her…