Unofficial Portkey Archive

I swear that I can go on forever, again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone?
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
are you afraid of leaving tonight?
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone?
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
are you afraid of leaving tonight?
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

Ginny was finally feeling well enough to leave the hospital, and looking much better now that her bruises had faded, or been magically healed. She was still hurting over missing Draco, and missed him more and more as the days went by, even though every other part of her life was falling back into place.

Harry and Hermione had come to visit her the day before Madam Pomfrey discharged her, and Ginny could have sworn that Harry had been holding Hermione's hand when they first entered.

Ginny nerves bucked as Harry approached; she felt so terrible about deceiving him, and their last encounter had been dreadful.

"Hi," he smiled shyly. "Can I sit?"

Ginny nodded uncertainly.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked.

"Better. Ready to leave."

"Right then," she smiled. "I'll see you."

Harry admired Ginny's flowers, while Ginny adjusted her blankets, and played with her hair.

"Ginny, I know that sorry doesn't really begin to cover it, does it?" Harry asked as he tried to look everywhere but at Ginny. "I should have come to see you sooner, Hermione kept telling me to, and I did want to, but I knew that I'd been so…" Harry swallowed hard, trying to think of the right words to tell Ginny how awful he felt for how everything had turned out.

"It's alright Harry, I found out what Dra- what happened that night. Can you forgive me? I mean, we both did things, I mean, we still care about each other, don't we"?

Harry stood up to give Ginny a hug and said, "Of course Ginny. Can you forgive me for those things I said? I didn't mean to lose my temper like that. I never meant to ruin things between us; I'd still like you to be my friend."

Ginny hugged Harry back and said, "I want that too, Harry. That's what I've always wanted."

They continued to talk, and managed to avoid talking about the night Ginny fell. Harry didn't want to have a confrontation about how Ginny had betrayed him with Draco, and Ginny didn't want to confront Harry about her now tattered reputation. She knew she was responsible too for her present situation, and so they both chose to ignore it.

As they chatted, they never knew that Draco Malfoy had the door slightly open, watching Ginny hug Harry, and ball his fists in anger. He wanted to run in and punch Harry, but Ginny was smiling, and he hadn't seen her smile in days. He wanted her smiling at him, not that bastard.

Had he really ruined everything, for good? He refused to believe that.

Ginny would eventually calm down, and realize that things could work out between them now. The whole school was still talking about the "Love triangle" between them, but he was doing his best to keep gossip to a minimum, in his own house anyway. He knew that Ginny would calm down and come to him; that they would work things out.

He had come to check on her every day, catching quick glances of her. She was always looking forlorn, and he knew a simple apology would not work. He wondered briefly if she could be bought, but knew the answer was no. He thought perhaps guilt. Hadn't she promised to love him, even when he did unintelligent things like this? She was far too stubborn, and sometimes he convinced himself he was better off without her, then he would see her face, her smile in his mind, and knew he couldn't fool himself.

************************************************

The Sunday Ginny was discharged, she felt extremely nervous as made her way up to Gryffindor tower. She could feel her fingers shaking as the grasped the railings, and a thousand scared thoughts ran rampant in her head.

Ron escorted her, with Harry and Hermione as her back-up. Ginny noted that Harry and Hermione were indeed holding hands and Ginny smiled back at them as they made their way up the staircases. Ginny tried to avoid eye contact with people, but several students called out to her, from all houses, and Ginny started to relax just a bit.

When she entered the common room, there was quite a crowd inside, and most rushed forward to welcome her back. Ginny noticed Lavender roll her eyes and lean over to whisper to Parvati, but she ignored this, she was over her scariest worry, just facing everyone again.

**************************************************

Ginny tried to ignore the looks and whispers as she walked through the halls on her first day back to classes. Ron shadowed her as best he could, and Ginny tried to be understanding of his behavior, and not annoyed. She had a full homework load, with new assignments, and trying to catch up on what she had missed, and her detention started tonight.

Ginny did her best to ignore Draco; she felt his eyes on her, but refused to look at him. She had no appetite, and knew that if she just looked at Draco, her resolve to ignore him, and teach him a lesson would crumble. Instead she narrowed all her focus into one thing - her upcoming classes.

Ginny's detention was to begin at seven that night, and she found she was actually looking forward to it. The busier she was, the less time she had to think about Draco, and the direction her life had taken. Ginny stayed in her room until ten to seven, and then headed to Professor McGonagall's office. Her detention was the same as Draco's, copying the school rules from a massive, dusty, old book. After three hours, Ginny walked out frantically shaking her right hand, and flexing her fingers, trying to get some feeling back into them.

As she started up the stairs she felt the tears coming on. She wasn't one to wallow, but what a horrid day! People talking in front of her back, loud whispers about her, and now the most boring detention of all time. She would have fallen asleep, if Professor McGonagall hadn't been watching her so closely. Ginny was halfway to Gryffindor tower when Harry and Hermione stepped out of a dark hall.

"Ginny. Hi." Harry said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and smiling sheepishly at Ginny.

Ginny smiled, said hello, and kept walking. Well, at least one good thing had come of all this. She was happy for Harry and Hermione. The new couple held hands as they walked with her, and Ginny was remembering what it was like to have Draco's warm hand in hers, or his arm around her waist, or one strong finger, teasing, making lazy circles over her entire body so slowly that she was sure she would go mad with want for him.

"Ginny? GINNY?!"

Ginny hadn't realized she had stopped walking, and was now holding the railing in a death grip. She looked up to see Harry and Hermione on the landing twenty steps above her. When had she stopped walking?

Hermione came down and put a hand to Ginny's forehead. "You're burning up! You should go to Madam Pom-"

Ginny shook her head and started up the stairs again. She saw Hermione mouth something to Harry, but ignored them and kept going. She wanted to get to bed; she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Why couldn't she just run to Draco? Because it would hurt her family, and she had just repaired her relationship with Harry, she didn't want to ruin things. And her reputation was still in tatters, she rolled her eyes remembering a Hufflepuff telling a small group of first years, "That's her. Ginny Weasley. The girl who cheated on Harry Potter!" as she passed.

But what about her own needs? She loved Draco. He was an unthinking, selfish, rude, arrogant,…Sweet, generous, and wonderfully kind on occasion (well, to her) man…No! She had to stay strong.

She was staying away from him because he wanted her, and she wanted to punish him by not giving him what he wanted. He couldn't treat people any way he wanted…Ginny reached her bed and shook her head at the confusing thoughts running through her mind. She cried herself to sleep, and her last coherent thought was, who was really suffering more? Draco or her?

**************************************

Three weeks later, Ginny's nerves were at the breaking point. She hated ignoring Draco, she missed him. She missed talking to him, she missed being with him. When she lay on his chest, after they made love, she missed how he would run his fingers through her hair, and the vibration of his chest when he spoke. She was having the strangest memories, missing the oddest little things about him. She was having trouble controlling the urge to want to speak to him, to run across the hall and throw herself into his arms.

One of the only things that kept her from doing so was Ron's constant presence. He and Harry still weren't talking, though they were civil when they were together. Ron became Ginny's new best friend, and she did her best to tolerate her brother.

Ron spent all his time cutting down Draco, saying what a bastard he was, how she was well short of him, how all the Malfoy's were wicked. Ginny didn't argue, because she didn't feel like banging her head against a brick wall. When she had attempted to stand up for Draco, Ron had accused her of sneaking off to meet Draco in secret and saying, "What are you? Mad? You want to break Mum's heart do you?" He and Ginny yelled at each other until Ginny finally went to her room to get away.

She stayed as busy as she could; she took on extra assignments, and even volunteered to help Professor Flitwick decorate for a Valentines Day. Ginny didn't want to think about Valentine's Day, she had imagined this one to be different, but she decided to get involved instead of think about it. Would Draco surprise her by trying to contact her, getting past Ron, that is. He seemed to be keeping his distance, but he was always watching her.

Would it matter? She had ignored him so far, and it was turning her into a shrew. She snapped at everyone, kept to herself, and slept when she wasn't in class or with her shadow. The only joy she had were the moments when she first woke up, thinking of Draco, until she remembered they weren't together anymore, and that they were only dreams.

************************************

Down in the dungeons, Draco was just as miserable, and treating his housemates more cruelly than they had ever seen. After making a scrawny first year cry for sitting in his favorite chair, Blaise came over and clipped him on the shoulder. "Draco, you need to get yourself a shag mate."

Draco gave him a dirty look and stared out the window. It wasn't that he was sexually frustrated, it was that he had expected Ginny to have been back by his side by now. But instead, he was being completely ignored, and her git brother waylaid his every attempt at communication. Oh, and Dumbledore had threatened him with expulsion if he attacked Potter again. Potter. He was dating that Mudblood now, everything was working out for him like bloody always.

Draco wanted Ginny back. He liked having her close to him, he was able to tell her things he didn't dare tell anyone else. Even Blaise. He needed her now, he knew what she would say, but he still needed to know that she cared enough about him to tell him not to do it, that she loved him enough to say that she wanted him to stay with her, and not go against the side he knew she would choose.

Draco got up and stalked off to detention, but decided that enough was enough. He was going to talk to Miss Ginevra Weasley tonight, even if he had to carry her kicking and screaming to his room. Draco found his first smile in weeks at the mental picture.

**************************************

Ginny yawned as she left Professor McGonagall's office. Detention today was just as boring as always, although this time she was forced to alphabetize all of McGonagall's files which included student papers dating as far back as her own mother and father.

She was just about to start up the dark hall, when Draco Malfoy caught her attention. He was leaning against the wall with an air of casualty, but Ginny could tell by the set of his jaw that he was angry. Ginny put her nose in the air and kept walking, trying to ignore him.

She should have known, one did not ignore Draco.

Draco grabbed her elbow as she attempted to pass and tried to kiss her. She resisted him, and he finally grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. Ginny kept her eyes shut tight as he spoke. "I won't let you continue to ignore me. Why are you punishing me?" Draco could have hexed himself. He had only meant to make the first statement.

His eyes were so sad that Ginny could feel the tears in her own eyes. How could she explain what was in her heart? She wasn't exactly trying to punish him; she was trying to make him understand that he couldn't treat people the way he did, that his actions had consequences, in the end he would change wouldn't he? She was doing this for them. Eventually he would come around.

Draco wanted her to answer him. He had run out of patience, he had been more than fair. He had given her the space he thought she needed, but she hadn't come to him; she had not even given him the courtesy of an explanation! Draco grabbed her face and tried to kiss her again.

Ginny kept twisting her face away from him. She wanted to kiss him, but she couldn't, she had to be strong, she had to…

Draco held her face and whispered, "We need to do this. We need each other. You know it too. Why are you doing this? Why deny what you want?"

Ginny slowly brought her face even with his and looked into his deep gray eyes. His harsh breathing was already sending her into pre-orgasmic tremors, and she knew she couldn't deny herself any longer. He was so good; he could sell gillyweed to a mermaid. She would give in to him, but her body only. She would use him the way he used others, this was part of the lesson, and he would learn what it was like to have someone use him.

Ginny jumped into Draco's arms and wrapped her legs around his waist. Draco kissed her so hard that he pushed her back up against the wall. They kissed like they were getting oxygen to survive from the other.

It had been too long since they had touched, and they began rubbing against each other, trying to get closer. Draco tried to carry Ginny to his room, but Ginny pointed toward the Empty Muggle studies classroom, just two rooms away from Professor McGonagall's office.

"Ginny I-"

Ginny kissed Draco to get him to stop talking, and every time he tried to talk after that she did the same thing. She had no idea what he wanted to say, and thought it was best that he didn't tell her.

Draco carried her into the classroom and looked for a place to set her down. The best place was an old couch under a window, so Draco placed Ginny down and started to throw off his clothes as fast as he could.

Ginny was doing the same, but only got her shirt and bra off before Draco was leaning over her, trousers around his knees, shirtless, and reaching for Ginny's breasts.

Ginny opened her legs for him, and Draco kneeled in front of her, leaning forward as she pulled him close to her. Draco lifted her skirt and pulled her knickers off as fast as he could. Ginny kept pulling him closer, as if she was trying to absorb him, and he felt the same. He had to be inside her, he needed to feel her heat.

Draco knew she was ready for him, and drove into her. They both let out a loud moan of relief. It was like being home. When it looked as though he was going to speak, Ginny covered his mouth with both hands, and all that could be heard were her moans, and Draco's muffled ones, through Ginny's hands.

Ginny dug her nails into his upper arms as he pounded into her. This wasn't the gentle Draco she was used to, this was hot, urgent, fucking. This was just two people using each other's bodies.

Ginny felt a tear roll down her cheek thinking about it that way. Down deep she knew it was more than that, whatever they said or did, they did love each other. This thought was what sent Ginny's body into the sweet ecstasy that Draco gave. Ginny pulled his hair hard as she bucked against him a final time.

Draco could feel her tighten around him, and let his own body give in. He groaned Ginny's name as he collapsed against her, pushing her against the couch. He would be content to stay there forever. They hadn't worked things out the way he had expected, this was better. Better than talking their problems to death. They would get through their problems by having hot, wild, make-up sex. Draco smiled as he leaned up to look at Ginny.

Ginny could still feel her heart pounding in her chest. That was some of the best sex she had ever had, so far. Draco was trying to take her into his arms, and she felt her heart breaking, but she had to do it. Ginny pushed his hands away, once, twice. She finally scooted herself over a bit, sitting up, and looked over at Draco. "You're still here?" Ginny couldn't take the look that came into his eyes long. She began looking for her clothes, and dressed as well as she could with shaking hands.

Draco pulled his trousers up, but didn't bother to zip them. He sat on the couch and watched Ginny's every move. So, that was her game, was it? Trying to give him back what he gave out. Draco tried to hide his anger from her; she was using the tools he had given her to work with. He had stupidly fallen for her, and he had given her power to use against him, a potentially dangerous mistake. She could destroy his heart now. He knew this would happen, why had he trusted her?

Ginny could see the look that came into Draco's eyes. He looked, well, vulnerable. She paused as she was getting ready to throw another insult and leave. He needed her, she should go to him, she couldn't hurt him.

Draco saw the look of pity come into her eyes and resolved not to ever let her feel sorry for him. He put his smirk back in place and stood up, looking for his shirt.

Ginny couldn't believe that he was so casual about what she'd said. Was he putting on a show? She decided she didn't want to know. Ginny walked to the door and didn't look back.

They both spent a miserable night tossing and turning, trying to figure each other out. They each finally concluded that if it was an impossible task, and fell into a fitful sleep.

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Valentines Day was a surprisingly sunny, though the sun did not bring warm temperatures, it was still cold, and gave couples an excuse to cuddle. Draco pushed past several lovebirds on his way to the dungeons after breakfast, disgusted he started taking house points from anyone acting too affectionate. He spent the day abusing his power, deducting points left and right, taking his anger at Ginny out on any happy couple he saw.

Draco had been contemplating sending Ginny a gift, but he wasn't sure how she would respond, he had bought her a promise ring months ago, but kept it in his drawer. He also considered ordering flowers, all the normal things but he knew that Ginny deserved so much better. He was still hurt by her behavior, but he wasn't ready to give up on her yet. His feelings for her were not so shallow that he was going to stop caring for her just because she was trying to change him. He knew her well enough to understand how her mind worked, and even though he was the one suffering, he admired her for trying. Draco decided to brave the Gryffindors, he had to see her, and left his room to head up to the tower, but only made it down the hall where Lavender Brown was walking toward him.

"Happy Valentine's Day, "she said smiling seductively. She ran a hand over his chest and lower still, into the waist of his trousers.

Draco gave her the once over, and shook the feeling of guilt that washed over him. At least someone wanted him. It wasn't going to be anything more than a shag.

******************************************

Ginny cried most of the day, and stayed hidden in the common room since after breakfast. She couldn't look Draco in the eye after their encounter in the Muggle studies room, and she was missing him more than ever. Perhaps she should go talk to Draco, she had meant to teach him a lesson, not isolate him from her life forever. She wasn't able to concentrate on her assignments anyway. The picture of Draco's face when she had insulted him lingered in her mind, and the noise from the common room was too loud to get her work done anyway.

Ginny rubbed the tip of her quill back and forth under her chin when Lavender emerged from the portrait.

Ginny looked her over, and saw that her hair was sticking up in all directions, her shirt was thrown on in a hurry, the buttons were in the wrong holes, and she had a Slytherin tie around her neck. Lavender looked over at Ginny as she righted her skirt.

"What's this? " she asked innocently, fingering the edge of the tie, looking directly at Ginny.

Ginny drew her wand under the table as her heart sunk. "Please tell me that's not Draco's," she thought.

Ginny walked over and yanked it out of Lavender's grasp, her hand running over the smooth material, and finding the monogrammed DM at the bottom. She couldn't believe it! Draco wouldn't have slept with her, he wouldn't! Ginny held her wand pointed at the floor and looked at Lavender.

Lavender saw that Ginny had worked it all out in her mind, and smiled. "Ginny, I tried to warn you. I did tell you, didn't I? But, you didn't want to listen. I want to thank you, though. He's even better than he was before, and I didn't even mind that he called me Ginny."

Hermione yelled for her to control herself, but it was too late. Ginny attacked Lavender, grabbing a fistful of hair, and kicking with all her might. Lavender screamed bloody murder, and Hermione yelled for someone to do something.

Seamus yelled, "Girl fight! My galleons are on Ginny any takers?"

Ginny jumped onto Lavenders back and when they both fell forward, she banged Lavender's head into the carpet. Ron tried to grab Ginny, but got a kick in the shins for his effort.

Harry was laughing at Ron's situation, until he received a kick in the groin from Ginny too.

Ron laughed as Harry bent over in pain, but together they both pulled Ginny off, still kicking.

"I'm warning you! Next time you touch him, I'll kill you!"

Ginny looked for her wand, but Hermione had grabbed it before she could cast any spells, shouting "You're a prefect!"

Ginny gave a final punch and took off running out of the portrait hole.

Hermione kneeled next to Lavender, and offered to take her to Madam Pomfrey.

Lavender shook her bloody face fiercely. "I am going to McGonagall!"

Hermione stepped forward to catch the girl, but stopped at the realization that she couldn't Obliviate the entire room.

Ginny sobbed as she ran down the hall and finally stopped in front of Draco's room. She said the password, and the door slid open to reveal a nude Draco asleep on top of the covers of his bed. Ginny picked up his wand and hovered the point over his crotch. She was more than ready to hex his bits off when a sob escaped her lips, waking Draco.

"Gin!" He sat up happily, stopping short when he saw her face. He quickly reached up and knocked the wand from her hand.

Ginny didn't waste anytime using her empty hands to slap him repeatedly.

"Stop it! Damn it, Ginny, stop!" He grabbed her wrists and held them tight against his chest, pulling her close to him.

"Let me go! I hate you! I hope you rot you filthy, shagging bastard!" The last came out with store of tears, and Ginny collapsed her head against Draco's chest.

"Princess, it didn't mean any-"

Ginny lifted her head and tried to release her wrists from his grip. "Don't call me princess! And don't say it didn't mean anything. I don't know why I came here. You and I were a mistake"

Draco narrowed his eyes at her and released her. He lifted her face, and his grip on her chin was almost painful as he looked into her eyes. "Malfoy's do not make mistakes. You and I are the best I've done with my life so far."

Ginny chose to ignore the latter comment and focus on his first one. She was determined to hurt him like she was hurting. "Malfoy's don't make mistakes? That's hilarious. I suppose your father is in Azkaban because he enjoys the scenery?"

Draco wanted to grab her, but instead grabbed his robe and tied it as tight as he could. His knuckles were turning white from gripping the ties, but he would never hurt her, no matter how much she provoked him.

"I think you should leave, Ginevra."

Ginny looked him over, and wanted to apologize, but instead said "Gladly." and stormed out.