Chapter 4: Return To Grimmauld
Harry stormed out of the parlor searching, Ron, Hermione and Ginny not far behind. He dashed through the house, looking for the rag covered creature, his friends shouting his name behind him.
"Harry!" Ron yelled. "Stop!"
"He's not here Harry!" Hermione shouted. Harry stopped and turned around to face them. It felt like his rage had been building all summer and was finally being released. He looked between them, their faces full of concern. His anger was overwhelming him, and as he realized what he had been doing and what he had said, all he could think about was Sirius and how it had been his fault. The stress was too much, and he simply fell onto his knees, tears streaming down his face.
Ron and Ginny looked at each other in confusion, not knowing what to do. Hermione however took a step toward Harry, grabbing Ron's arm. She walked over to Harry and sat down next to him, motioning for Ron to do the same.
"Harry?" she asked quietly. Harry lurched slightly from his silent sobs.
"He's gone," Harry said with such finality that neither Hermione or Ron could respond. "I should have listened to you. Now look at me, making death threats." He stopped for a moment, catching his breath and wiping his eyes. "I can't figure out why you two even hang around me."
"Because," Hermione said, "we love you. You're our friend." Ron looked at her alarmed, but she gave him a piercing stare, and he turned back to Harry.
"That's right mate. We wouldn't just leave you." Ron laid a reassuring hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry looked up at Ron, and smiled.
"I'm acting like a git," Harry said. "Sorry. I don't remember the last time I cried... and it had to be in front of you guys." Harry smiled and wiped his eyes one more time.
"It just proves that you're human," Hermione said evenly, and that settled it. She stood up and walked over to the stairs. "Come on you two, we've got a lot of catching up to do." Ron and Harry looked at each other and grinned.
"We better hurry up," Ron said. "Before she gets upset." Ron and Harry dashed up the stairs to the room Hermione had entered; Ron and Harry's room. Harry looked around the room and saw the painting which contained Sirius' relative, Phineas. For a moment Harry thought he might become overwhelmed again, but to his pleasant surprise he felt a sadness, but not a debilitating one. It was as if the cry he had just had drained some of the excess off of him; as if some of the weight of his future had been lifted.
"So how has your summer been Harry?" Hermione looked at him expectantly. Harry's mind reached back to that time that now seemed so far away. It felt like he hadn't been to Hogwarts in years, as if he had been sleeping the entire time since he had returned.
"Dark," Harry answered, thinking of how he remembered his room. "I stayed in my room." He turned to Hermione. "You'll be happy to know that I finished all of my homework. I had nothing else to do." He thought for a moment. "I did use my cousin's weight room every now and then I suppose."
"I was wondering about that," Ron said. He looked Harry up and down quickly. "You looked... I don't know... bigger." Harry wasn't sure if he should thank him or laugh. Fortunately, Hermione saved him from having to guess.
"It sounds like it's been absolutely dreadful," she told him. "At least you're here now, right?" Harry nodded. He had been waiting for this all summer long, and now that it was here, he was forgetting what to say.
"I'm sorry you guys," Harry told them, looking out the window. "I almost got you killed." He turned back to see Hermione and Ron glance at each other. He knew they had probably prepared for this conversation.
"It wasn't your fault," Ron said. "Hell, it was probably as much my fault as yours. I was absolutely useless." Ron drifted off as if he were remembering something painful. Harry looked at him remembering Madam Pomphery's words about Ron's damage.
"I know you guys are going to try and convince me otherwise, and I'm sure that you've planned this all out, but it was me that dragged you all there into a trap." Harry turned to Hermione. "A trap you knew was there." Harry felt his eyes begin to fill again. "You followed me even though you knew it was a trap." He said it as if he were reciting something that was impossible.
"We all did Harry," Hermione told him. "We all thought he was in trouble after the fireplace. It wasn't anyone's fault." Harry looked down again; he could no longer bring himself to look at them. "If anything, I should have been more alert. I didn't study hard enough or serious enough in the D.A. or my classes..." Hermione trailed off. It was clear to Harry that all three of them felt it was their fault, but Harry knew something that they didn't.
"I could've prevented it." Harry said quietly. "I could've found out it was a trap." They both looked at him, but he was still staring at the bed.
"Harry, He tricked us all-" Harry looked up, interrupting Hermione.
"No, you don't understand. I had a two-way mirror that I could have talked to Sirius with. No one had to get hurt." Harry felt another salty tear roll down his cheek. Hermione and Ron were looking at him with a stunned look. This was something they hadn't pre-scripted. He continued. "I was so bent on getting to the Department of Mysteries that I didn't even stop to think, and I put you all in danger." Harry looked at Hermione. "I almost killed you." Ron and Hermione paused for a moment before breaking the silence.
"It's alright mate," Ron told him grabbing Harry's shoulders. "We're here and we're fine. You aren't alone." At these words Harry got the sudden urge to prove just how wrong Ron was and tell them the prophecy which Dumbledore had confided in him, but thought better of it and simply nodded.
"We're not leaving and that's that," Hermione declared. The three of them grinned, even though nothing was really funny. "You're birthday is just a few days away," Hermione reminded him. "We're going to have to go to Diagon Ally tomorrow." Harry nodded.
"Mum said that I could stay here at Grimmauld for a little while. She's heading back to The Burrow in a little while, but there should be a few Order members here tonight." Ron grinned for a moment. "Ginny wasn't too happy that they wouldn't be staying, but mum said that this isn't our home and that we have to at least pretend we aren't in the Order. She thought too many of us being gone for long periods of time would look suspicious."
Harry simply nodded. The rest of the night was filled with random conversations and questions between the three. Dinner was prepared by Mrs. Weasley before she left, and before long they were all in their rooms, Shacklebolt having stopped by, Mr. Weasley staying the night, asleep.
Harry awoke the next morning with the sun bathing his face. He didn't know exactly what time it was, but it seemed about midmorning by the position of the sun. He glanced over at Ron to find him still fast asleep, heavy breathing noises coming from him. Harry pulled himself out of bed and walked down the stairs into the kitchen. Hermione and Mr. Weasley were up eating some toast and talking. They stopped and looked at Harry.
"Good morning," Hermione said with a smile.
"Today we're taking you to Diagon Ally," Mr. Weasley told Harry, grabbing the jam and covering his remaining piece of toast. Harry nodded and headed over to the stove. He found bread waiting there and eggs and breakfast meats in the fridge. Having made breakfast for the Dursleys many times, Harry was adept at preparing a meal for himself and in minutes had a complete breakfast on his plate. Mr. Weasley and Hermione both watched him in mild surprise as he handled himself in the kitchen.
"Where'd you learn to cook like that?" Mr. Weasley asked.
"Practice," Harry answered simply. "It's only breakfast... nothing complicated."
The smell of cooking bacon had evidentially woken up Ron who came trudging around the corner yawning.
"Smells good," Ron said, looking for his plate. It took him a few moments to realize that there was no spare plate.
"Food's in the kitchen," Mr. Weasley said, going back to his newspaper. Harry smiled as a dark look spread over Ron's face. He was certain that Ron would be having nothing but toast this morning.
When breakfast was done and they had all dressed themselves, they gathered around the fireplace to Floo to Diagon Ally.
"Speak clearly," Mr. Weasley reminded Harry. He nodded and took a pinch of the powder in his hands. He stepped into the fireplace and made sure to say properly, 'Diagon Ally' before releasing the powder. The feeling of tumbling and spinning came over Harry and it wasn't long before he found himself standing at the end of the now familiar shopping lane. The others came through the fireplace quickly behind him, and after a quick trip to Gringott's, they were on their way to look for birthday arrangements.
Ron and Harry naturally gravitated towards the brooms, but Hermione kept them on task, taking them through a few shops which they had never had need to visit before. They had just walked into Magical Occasions when Harry accidentally bumped into someone.
"Ouch," Harry said, picking himself up. "Sorry about- Luna!" Harry was surprised to see the wide-eyed blond Ravenclaw standing in front of him with a bag of what looked like party supplies. "What are you doing here?" Harry asked eying the bag.
"My dad just made a new discovery with the Bramble Backed Biskuks. We're throwing a party." She looked at Harry for a moment. "What are you doing here?"
"Getting supplies," Harry answered.
"It's Harry's birthday in a few days," Hermione said matter-of-factly. Harry couldn't help but smile at meeting Luna. She had been the only person that he really felt like he could talk to right after Sirius died. It somehow hadn't felt hard, as if she knew what he was trying to say when he talked about it. Luna looked at the three for a few moments before looking back to Harry.
"I better be going," she remarked, and with that, left. Harry, Ron and Hermione walked into the store and spent a few minutes picking out decorations. It felt very odd to be planning a birthday party for Harry. He had never had more than what he could provide himself and had previously been ignored on his birthday; to have someone want to plan something for him was entirely foreign.
After a short while longer deciding on things, which really meant Ron and Harry asking Hermione what she thought was best, they met back up with Mr. Weasley who had been out shopping for a present for Harry. This made Harry feel a bit uneasy, as he knew that the Weasleys weren't the richest of wizarding families, but thought he ought not bring it up or he might upset Ron.
They returned to Grimmauld and for a few days did almost nothing. Hermione tried to get Ron to finish the homework which Harry and Hermione had already completed, but Harry thought that was probably a losing battle.
The night before his birthday Hermione was pestering him to go to bed, making Harry wonder what was going on.
"We have to set the house up," she said simply. At the word 'we' Ron got a fearful look, glancing around to check if there was someone else in the room. "It's your birthday Harry. It has to be a surprise." Ron looked at Harry.
"Yes, you'll be shocked to learn that we're planning something for your birthday, which happens to be tomorrow." Hermione glared at Ron.
"That isn't what I meant," Hermione told him in an affronted tone.
"I don't see why we have to-" Harry interrupted them.
"It's alright guys, I'll go." With that, he picked himself up off the armchair in front of the fire and started towards the stairs.
"I'll be up later," Ron said.
"Goodnight Harry," Hermione called after him. With a smile on his face, he reached his bed and realized that this was going to be his best birthday ever.