A/N: Hey, another chapter uploaded pretty quickly. I noticed that Portkey didn't update the date on my story when I put up chapter 5 so I belted out this chapter as fast as I could in other to get the story updated. :)
Hopefully I will be able to get through the next chapter without too much trouble. Just a few more things to take care of before they're off to school.
Chapter 6: Letters
Harry returned to find the house quiet. It almost felt as if the house was empty. Just as well, Harry thought to himself. I need to sort through these letters. Harry climbed the stairs softly, and on a sudden impulse headed into Sirius' room. It was dark, and felt neglected, though Harry knew it was just weeks since it had been occupied. He lit the room and walked over to the bed, setting the stack of envelopes down.
He picked them up and read their addresses one by one.
Harry: For when you finish reading my will
Hermione: For when you first see her
Hermione: For when she runs out of answers
Ron: For when you first see him
Ron: For when he learns how to hear himself
Petunia
Harry paused. Sirius wrote a letter to Petunia? How... strange.
Remus
Tonks
Arthur
Molly
Fred and George
Dumbledore
Snape
Harry: For when you feel all alone
Harry: For when you need comfort the most
Harry: For when you do not know where to go
Harry: For when you find true love
Harry felt tears welling in his eyes... the letters were so perfect. He felt a comfort knowing that Sirius had written down some of the things a Godfather needs to be there for. He felt just reading the envelopes that he was no longer alone, as if Sirius was not really gone.
Harry eyed his letters. When I don't know where to go? Harry wondered about the circumstance the letter was to be read under for a moment. When I find true love? Harry stopped. That letter might have been useful last year with Cho. But no, he shot down that notion. That hadn't been true love, Harry reasoned, so the information was not pertinent. He picked the letter up, wondering what the contents could possibly contain.
How will I know if I've found true love? Harry wondered fearfully for a second. How could he recognize something he'd never seen or felt before? That wasn't true, he told himself. He'd seen many people who truly loved another. But experiencing it... that was something foreign.
Harry set his letters together and put them in a pocket until he could store them, then gathered the rest and left the room to find Ron and Hermione. It didn't take long to find them as Ron was being rather vocal.
"...even McGonagall wouldn't!" he caught Ron exclaim. He heard Hermione begin to respond as he went through the door.
"McGonagall isn't here right now, is she?" They both turned to Harry and noticed the rather large stack of letters in his hands. "What's that Harry?" A look crossed her face as she suddenly remembered where he had come from. "Are you alright?" Harry waved his hand as if to dismiss the thought.
"I'm fine. Here," he said, pulling out two letters. "These are from Sirius." He handed one to each of them and they looked at the paper slightly bewildered. Slowly the two opened their letters and began to read them silently.
Harry eyed them, watching their expressions as their eyes traced over the paper's text. Ron seemed to be both sad and affronted at what he was reading, but Hermione was much more varied. Her expressions changed from sentence to sentence it seemed, going from sorrow to shock to indignant to fear. She finally settled on confusion, and wiped away the tears that were rolling down her face.
"Thanks, mate," Ron said, and even though he hadn't been paying attention to Ron, he knew that Ron was not speaking to him. Ron folded his letter and put it in his pocket. Hermione held the letter to her chest for a few moments before standing.
"It you'll excuse me a moment," she told them, and walked out of the room.
"I wonder what it said," Ron noted curiously. Harry shrugged. Thinking back to the will, he thought he could understand why Hermione want to be alone for a few moments. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the envelope he was supposed to read now.
"He left a few more for me," Harry told Ron. He looked up at the his red-headed friend. "Do you think I could have a minute to read it?" Ron promptly walked towards the door.
"And get away from my Transfiguration homework? You don't have to ask me twice!" Harry grinned as Ron left the room. Probably to get some food, he thought with a smile. He turned his attention back to the letter in his hand.
For when you finish reading my will
Harry ran his fingers over the words. It was Sirius' handwriting, there was no doubt about it. He slowly tore back the envelope and removed the letter. Right as he did Hermione walked back into the room, stopping when she saw Harry alone on the bed. She looked both startled and scared, like a deer caught in the headlights.
He paused for a moment, considering whether or not to send her away as well. But Harry motioned for her to sit.
"I suppose I could use a friend who doesn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon right now." He grinned as she sat down. "I just thought I could use someone here... you know..." Harry hoped she knew, because he didn't. He knew he needed someone else there while he read this letter, but he didn't know why it had to be her and not Ron. Ron, he reasoned, had left him several times. He was a very dear friend indeed, but Harry knew he could survive without Ron if he had to. Hermione...
Harry thought back to the Department of Mysteries, remembering how his mind and seemed to break when Hermione was hit by the mysterious purple flame. It had felt as if his mind was a machine that had simply stopped working. Don't let her be dead, don't let her be dead, it's my fault if she's dead...
The remembered thought raced through his mind and he with great effort forced himself to pay attention to the letter in front of him. Hermione, he noticed, sat patiently, apparently expecting him to read the letter to himself. And that was exactly what he did.
"Harry,
"The message contained is a bit more personal than the message in my will. If you are following my directions, the other four letters should still be unopened, and I sincerely hope that you are following my directions.
"First I would like to talk a bit about your parents. You have never got a good account of your parents I'm afraid, and that's as much due to cowardice as to the events that happened to you and your family. I cannot tell you the whole story, or rather the whole truth, myself. There are parts which can only be told by others, and I am confident that they will tell you these things when the time is right.
"James was an amazing man, Harry. I don't ever want you to doubt that. He could be a real git sometimes, but he never lost sight of what was important. He was a true Gryfindor Harry; he had a heart of gold.
"Your parents never saw eye-to-eye, especially when at school. James chased after Lily for years, though I am sure this is only because she was the only girl to ever rebuff his advances. She was something he couldn't have given to him, he had to earn her, and as he learned how to earn her respect and admiration, he fell in love with her. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life, Harry, and I am about as emotional as Ron."
Harry laughed to himself and Hermione looked at him quizzically. Harry shook his head. "I'll tell you in a minute." He continued.
"Lily was always an amazing person from the very first day we met her. James and me had been on the train to Hogwarts the first year, when this matter-of-fact girl with the greenest eyes we'd ever seen barged into the compartment and scolded us for the joke we'd played on good old Snape not long before.
"If James had a heart of solid gold, your mothers was made of diamond. She was impenetrable, unshakable, and cared for others in a manner which was jarring to a normal person. Being near her made you feel as if your life were that of someone who was only half a person, as if the only way a person could ever be whole was to be as caring as she was.
"And yet, this quality did not make you feel inferior, it only made you feel as if you could become so much more. That's really what Lily was. She was so much more than any of us. None of us deserved her, and your father was very lucky.
"When your parents announced that they would be having you, I saw them happier than I think they had ever been. Lily was glowing more than I think I'd ever seen a person glow, and James was puffed up so big I thought he might burst.
"They were so amazed by you that they seemed to grow in a way I suppose only becoming a parent can do to you. To tell the truth, I was always kind of jealous of them for that. Not because they had each other... I was happy for that. But that they had what they had together... I cannot explain in words how much I wanted that for myself.
"Being your Godfather was a very small part of that thing that they had, a part they shared with me. I never had a happier moment in my life than when James asked me to be your Godfather.
"All this is to say that your parents loved you, and each other, very much. You cannot imagine how different life might have been. I say this not to make you feel sad about the way things are, but to make you appreciate the way things are. This is the way your parents wanted it, Harry. They wanted the best they could give you, and this life that you have is the best they could give you."
Harry stopped reading for a moment and looked back up at Hermione. He needed to collect his thoughts before he continued.
"What is it?" she asked him softly.
"Stuff about my parents," Harry muttered. He paused for a moment. "I've never really missed them, or at least not the way I miss Sirius. I never..." Harry sniffed. He could feel tears building. "I never got to know them. It's hard for me to really miss them." Hermione looked at Harry with a compassion that was comforting. "Does that make me a horrible person?" Harry asked softly. "Does that make their love worth less than it would be?"
Hermione stood quickly and walked over to Harry. She kneeled down right in front of him, taking his hands into hers. When Harry looked up he saw a small hint of tears in her sad expression.
"No, Harry, no it doesn't." She didn't say anything else, perhaps because nothing else could be said. She gave his hands a squeeze then walked back over to the opposite bed, returning to her sitting position. Harry wiped his eyes then continued with the letter.
"Now I'd also like to talk a bit about Ron. Yes, yes, I'm sure that you think there's not much to talk about. But that is simply your youth showing. There are plenty of things that you need a parent to talk to you about with Ron, and I intend to give you some of it.
"Ron is far more sensitive than you give him credit for. He doesn't know how to express it, and he has been taught by all of his older brothers that it is a bad thing, but he is a sensitive soul Harry, and he needs you to anchor that part of him.
"This is not supposed to be all mushy and such, but this is the only chance I have to say what needs to be said. If I don't say it now, I will never get another chance to say 'oops, I guess I should have said something'. Ron is lost, and he needs you as much as you need him... maybe more.
"Ron will always be there for you, even if he doesn't show it, because he needs you in order to hold on to that part of himself. If you and him ever truly part ways in anger he will be cutting off a part of himself, and though you may heal over time, he will not.
"You need to be the bigger person whenever you can Harry. Ron will get older and wiser, but only in time. I don't mean this in a demeaning way, you are just as immature as he is, though in different ways. (I don't mean that in a demeaning way either...)
"Don't for a minute think you can go back and change the place you're in. Ron needs you to be stronger than that, and he will help you in ways you will probably never appreciate."
Harry looked around the room again, guilty that he had sent Ron out of the room. Especially with Hermione there staring at him intently. He turned back to the letter.
"Hermione is another subject. Harry, I don't know her very well... even less so than Ron due to the fact that I spent plenty of time with Ron's parents. There are several things that scream to be said though, and I sometimes wonder how you could possibly not notice them. Things that anyone with half a sense can see from the sidelines.
"She is the most valuable person you will have at your side Harry. She is both mature and intelligent, caring and compassionate, and from what I've seen she has never abandoned you. I will never forget when you locked yourself in with Buckbeak. I was thick, or maybe I was just scared of the responsibility of being the parent figure, or even the friend.
"Me, Ron and Ginny were all puzzled over what to do. We'd all tried to coax you out, but you'd refused and rebuffed all of us. I thought perhaps it was something we should just let you work through. I used to do that with James... I didn't know how to help so I avoided getting involved because I was afraid of failing at being a friend. I was just as afraid of failing at being a mentor.
"When Hermione arrived she was furious that no one was with you, trying to help you. I'll never forget her words: 'What is the use of having friends if none of them are willing to be good friends?' She stormed off and we all felt terribly bad, particularly when she came back with you in tow.
"From what I can see she is your crutch. The thing that gives you constant support and strength, and you can never lose that Harry. I mentioned before how Ron would cut off a part of himself if he happened to forsake you. Forsaking Hermione would be just as drastic for you, Harry."
He stopped reading for a moment and looked at Hermione in a calculating manner. She looked at him as if to ask what was wrong. He shook his head and returned to the letter.
"The worst part is that I think her comment could be aimed at you as much as it was aimed at us. When was the last time you really thanked Hermione for her support? How many times has she been there when no one else has? And what have you said to her in return.
"I ask you the same question she asked me, Harry: 'What is the use of having friends if none of them are willing to be good friends?' You need to be a good friend to her Harry. She has been pushing along on her own steam for the most part, and she can only keep that up for so long.
"Even if it's just a quick conversation where you tell her how much her support means to you, you need to do it. Hermione is a mystery... most women are, let me tell you. But this particular bit is not mysterious, you simply do not see it.
"Thank her while you can, because if you do not, eventually she will simply fade away, and it will tear that part of you off your soul. A true friend of the soul can never lose another.
"Please understand, I hold the three of you in the highest regard. You three are so much more than Me, James, Lily and Remus were. I simply want you to learn from our mistakes. That's what a mentor does, right?
"Your parents are still with you, in more ways than you know. You will find them in the most unlikely places Harry, and sometimes, when you wave, they will wave back. I will always be there, watching you, Ron and Hermione. The three of you are my hope for the world. First, save the world. But after, please teach it to love the way the three of you care for one another.
"Padfoot
"PS: I know you still haven't done it, but I would really appreciate it if you said hello to Crookshanks for me.
"PPS: I have enclosed a copy of my executed will in this envelope for you to keep."
Harry set the letter on the bed and looked at Hermione. She seemed apprehensive. Harry was overcome with a sudden surge of appreciation, and stood, taking the few steps to where Hermione sat. She stood slowly, a questioning look on her face.
He broke into a huge smile and pulled her into a hug. Harry and Ron had both received many hugs from Hermione. Hugs of encouragement, comfort and solidarity. But Harry realized with a bit of guilt that neither he nor Ron had ever actually hugged Hermione first.
"Thank you," he said softly next to her ear. She seemed to relax and gave him a hug in return. Harry felt a warmth spreading over his body and a feeling of accomplishment in his stomach. Doing things to make others happy, Harry concluded, made one feel very nice themselves.
When Harry let go he had a big grin on his face. Hermione for her part looked both thankful and startled, as if she didn't know what had just happened but was happy for it all the same.
"I need to talk to you later," Harry told her. He reached over to the stack of letters placed on the dresser and grabbed the second letter for her from Sirius. "This is also from Sirius. You are not supposed to open it until you run out of answers, whatever you take that to mean."
Hermione only nodded. It seemed that she was at a loss for words. Harry was about to comment when Ron appeared in the doorway.
"What's going on?" Ron asked in a slightly amused tone. Harry turned and looked at Ron with his big grin. Harry walked over to him and gave him a brief but firm hug.
When he pulled away Ron looked fearful and confused.
"Thanks you two... I don't know what I'd do without you." Hermione looked as if she might shed a few more tears, and Ron looked a bit uncomfortable.
"Don't worry about it," he said looking down. "Just remember that later when I need a favor." Harry laughed and clapped Ron on the back.
"Want to go play a game of chess?" Harry offered. Ron's face lit up and he nodded enthusiastically.
"Sure," he said starting out the doorway with Harry next to him. Harry turned around just as they were leaving to see Hermione still standing there.
"Are you coming?" he asked her. Her face exploded into a teary smile. She walked over and hugged her two boys.
"We're going to do this together, aren't we?" Harry looked at Ron, then back at Hermione.
"How else would we do it?" They all three laughed and continued to the sitting room where Ron and Harry set up a friendly game of wizards chess. Hermione sat in the chair next to their game, reading from a book while glancing up to check the game of chess every now and then. Ron proceeded to beat Harry in record time. Ron beat him so quickly that they decided to play a second game. While they were setting up however, Mr. Weasley came up the stairs with a set of envelopes in his hand and Ginny behind him.
"School letters," Ginny said excitedly. Hermione looked as if she were overcome with a sudden wave of fear. "They should have your O.W.L. scores," Ginny said. Mr. Weasley handed each other them their letters.
Harry was a bit apprehensive about opening his letter, but as he glanced sideways he realized that both Ron and Hermione seemed to be in greater distress. He smiled.
"How about we all open each other's letters," Harry offered, handing his letter to Hermione. She took the letter from him and he grabbed Ron's letter.
| Ronald Weasley | |
| Astronomy | A |
| Care of Magical Creatures | E |
| Charms | A |
| Defense Against the Dark Arts | E |
| Divination | P |
| Herbology | P |
| History of Magic | D |
| Potions | E |
| Transfiguration | E |
Harry looked back up at Ron who had a shocked expression on his face.
"Blimey Hermione." Her head jerked up in apprehension. She bit her lower lip.
"That bad?" she asked him slowly.
"Bad," Ron exclaimed incredulously, "you got better scores than Percy did!" Hermione lit up with an enormous smile. She turned to Harry.
"You did very well also Harry. The only classes you didn't get an O.W.L. in were Divination and History of Magic, but we all know Divination is rubbish." Harry stared at her. He could not believe she was telling him he did a good job when he failed History of Magic. Although, he reasoned, he had had an 'episode' in the middle of the exam... Harry turned to Ron.
"Not too bad yourself," Harry said. "Everything 'cept Divination, Herbology and History of Magic." Hermione fixed Ron with a piercing stare.
"You failed Herbology?" she asked measuredly. Ron looked at her exasperated.
"How am I supposed to know what to do with plants?" Hermione was about to retort, but Harry cut her off, looking at the materials list that had come with the scores.
"Hermione, what score did I get in potions?" Hermione glanced down at the sheet.
"An Outstanding, Harry," she beamed. Harry nodded.
"That's probably why I have the potions book on my list." Harry laughed darkly. "Snape will be disappointed." Ron quickly looked at his book list, then back at Harry.
"What score did I get?" he asked tepidly.
"An Exceeds Expectations," Harry replied. Ron deflated at the answer.
"I must not have got into Snape's class. I guess I won't be taking N.E.W.T. potions with you two." Ron stopped for a moment, then suddenly brightened as if Christmas came early. "Wait a tic, I won't be in N.E.W.T. potions!" He turned back to Harry. "Bad luck mate."
"Luck had nothing to do with it," Hermione scoffed. "Harry got his score by being good at potion making." Harry smiled at the two.
"So would you three be up for visiting Diagon Alley tomorrow?" Mr. Weasley asked. Harry nodded.
"Tomorrow sounds excellent." Mr. Weasley left the room and headed back down the stairs, but Ginny stayed behind and looked over Hermione's scores with her while Ron and Harry played another game of chess.
The day wound down lazily, and Harry slept soundly that night, his thoughts on the letters Sirius had left him.
The morning found Harry in a good mood and well rested. After a quick breakfast, the Weasley's, Hermione and Harry took the Floo to Diagon Alley, making a bee line for the bank.
"So what do we need this year?" Ron asked, looking his list over as they walked down the path towards Gringott's.
"Well," Hermione replied, "we'll need new books, as well as potions supplies and common school supplies." Hermione looked over the list in her hand. "Nothing else here... maybe some new robes?"
Harry nodded in agreement, walking into the bank. Hermione walked up to one of the goblins and exchanged some pounds. Ron walked over to his family who was getting ready to ride down to their vault, and Harry moved to one of the free goblins.
"I'd like to withdraw," he said. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the vault key he'd received from Sirius. The goblin grabbed the key and looked it over for a moment.
"This way," he motioned. Harry followed and after a brief but somewhat dizzy ride in a kart, Harry stood before a vault that appeared much larger than his own. The goblin opened it and stepped aside, letting Harry in.
The vault contained a vast amount of Galleons, Sickles and Knuts, far more than Harry knew to be in his parent's vault. There were also various items which appeared valuable strung throughout the vault. Harry walked over to a stack of money and got himself enough to pay for his supplies before slowly exiting the room. He looked back one last time before the door closed, and before long had returned to the surface where Ron and Hermione were waiting for him.
"C'mon then," Ron said impatiently. "Let's go!" The three of them set out to pick up supplies, stopping at the apothecary as well as to get some new parchment and quills. Ron did not seem to need anything, and Harry assumed that Mrs. Weasley was taking care of the things he needed.
The trio had just entered Flourish & Blott's to get their new books, when a voice rang out from one of the aisles.
"Hermione!" it called. The three turned to see who was heralding and saw a middle aged man and middle aged woman whom they did not know. Or rather, whom Ron and Harry did not know.
"Mum! Dad!" Hermione ran to them and gave them a hug. "You made it! I was worried that we wouldn't see you here."
"Nothing could keep us from making it to see you," her father said smiling. The pair turned to Ron and Harry.
"So, from the descriptions my daughter has given me before," he pointed at Ron, "you must be Ron. Making you Harry." They both smiled.
"Pleased to meet you Mr. Granger." Harry shook the mans hand firmly.
"No, the pleasure's all mine. My daughter has told me quite a great deal about both of you." A light tinge of pink crossed Hermione's face as both Harry and Ron looked at her questioningly.
"Well I hope she was kind," Ron said tentatively. Mr. and Mrs. Granger both smiled.
"Not much to say then, is there," a voice drawled from the door. They all turned to see a blond-haired boy smirking at them.
"Sod off, Malfoy," Ron seethed. "No one cares what you have to say." Malfoy walked over to them, his smirk growing bigger.
"I see the Mudblood brought her parents along." Harry grabbed Malfoy by the shirt, getting his attention.
"Watch your mouth, ferret boy," Harry flared. "Daddy isn't here to save you this time." Draco's eyes narrowed. Harry laughed coldly. "How's your father enjoying his little, er, vacation?" Draco pushed Harry's hands away and stormed out of the shop without saying another word.
"What was that all about?" Mrs. Granger asked.
"Oh, just a boy we know from school," Hermione told them. "Nothing really, just likes to make trouble."
"How can you say that?" Ron asked her, almost livid. "He's the worst kind of scum." Ron nodded as if agreeing with his statement.
Harry couldn't help but agree with Ron, however he remained silent. They spent the rest of the time getting their books talking. Hermione's parents asked questions about many of the things they saw, and Ron and Hermione were all too happy to oblige. Ron even asked them a few questions about Muggle life in return, which Hermione let her parents answer, happy that they were able to explain something for once.
Their supplies collected, the trio found the rest of the Weasley family around Diagon Alley, and before too long they had returned to Grimmauld, ready to start the new term. Unfortunately for Ron, getting all of his new school supplies made the coming term seem a great deal closer, and as they went to bed that night, Mrs. Weasley informed her son that there would be no excuses for putting off his homework any longer. Harry felt quite accomplished at that moment knowing that he had the entire rest of summer to himself.