Disclaimer: See Part 1.
Author's Note: Brace yourself for the chapter where absolutely nothing happens. There's maybe a teeny little bit of plot development but not much of that.
From My Soul
Part 8
Harry's steps slowed the closer he got to the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office. (He could not think of it as the Headmistress's office yet.)
Every step seemed to bring memories of Dumbledore from the past 6 years rushing into his head from the first time he'd seen Dumbledore and Dumbledore's characteristic opening "speech" of "Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak" to the last time of watching in helpless horror as Dumbledore's body fell off the tower…
Dumbledore, the one person whom Harry had thought he could count on to help him defeat Voldemort, to tell him what he needed to know-as he had always, somehow, told Harry what he needed to know to defeat Voldemort before…
He was gone now-and standing outside the office which had used to be his, Harry felt a familiar wave of self-doubt wash over him.
How could he do this?
He knew what he needed to do-find the rest of the horcruxes, destroy the horcruxes and then kill Voldemort. But he still didn't know how he was supposed to do it.
He didn't know where the other horcruxes were, didn't know how to destroy the horcruxes… Dumbledore had nearly died from destroying the Marvolo ring-then how could he, Harry, possibly hope to even survive destroying four horcruxes? Especially as he didn't have the slightest clue how to go about doing so.
He allowed himself to slide to the floor by the gargoyle, staring blindly down at the stone floor. Could he do this? Could he keep his promise to Dumbledore, to Sirius, to his parents? He had to; he knew that-but how?
~*~
Hermione paused on her way towards McGonagall's office, seeing Harry sitting on the floor by the gargoyle. It looked as if he had simply let his legs give way and fallen to the ground rather than consciously decided to sit down and something about his posture, the slump of his shoulders, told her even at this distance that he was being racked with renewed fears and doubts and despair.
She sighed, her heart aching at the sight of him. She wished she could do more to help him, wished she could wave her wand and somehow solve all his problems like one of the fairy godmothers in the fairy tales her grandmother had used to read to her so many years ago… She wished she knew how they were going to destroy the horcruxes and defeat Voldemort, wished she could promise that they would succeed…
But she couldn't.
And what hurt, what she really hated, was the uncertainty of it and her lack of confidence. She didn't know how much she could help him; she didn't know whether she'd somehow find a book that told them all they needed to know to destroy a horcrux (she rather doubted it given the extreme darkness of the magic they were dealing with and the complete lack of information she'd been able to find in the Hogwarts library). She didn't know anything more about Voldemort's life than what Harry did so she didn't know where they should even start looking for Hufflepuff's cup and the other horcrux. She just didn't know-and what was worse, she had no idea where she should even begin to look for what she needed to know or even whether she'd be able to find the information she needed.
This was completely new-and a place where, perhaps, not even books could help them.
She sternly clamped down on her own doubts and fears. She didn't have time for this now. Right now, she needed to help Harry-and she would…
~*~
"Harry."
Harry started and looked up at the sound of Hermione's voice. "Oh- er- hi. I was expecting you'd be a lot longer than this."
She sat down beside him, reaching for one of the sandwiches.
"Did you find that you've already read all the books in the library so you didn't need to stay?" he teased, trying to act normal and not let her see his doubts.
She rolled her eyes slightly but couldn't keep from smiling. "Actually, no. I'd been hoping that because it's vacation and because I was supposed to be Head Girl, Madam Pince might be more lenient about the rules and let me into the Restricted Section. But she didn't and I knew there'd be nothing useful in the rest of the library because I already looked last year and there wasn't anything about horcruxes anywhere."
Harry stifled a smile. Hermione's tone and look implied that she almost took it as a personal affront that the Hogwarts library had so far proved useless. And, oddly enough, felt his mood lightening, as he did so.
It was just so-normal-for Hermione to be talking about the library as if it were her personal place. Normal and somehow comforting, even if the news wasn't good.
And he found, too, rather to his surprise as he'd never felt this way before, that it was actually rather- hard- to feel quite so down and hopeless when he was with Hermione, realizing yet again that at least he didn't have to figure it all out alone. He had Hermione to help him, the cleverest witch of their year. She had always managed to help him before, somehow, and he found that he couldn't help but believe that she would help him again this year.
He didn't have Dumbledore to tell him what he needed to know-but he did have Hermione. And Ron. And other people to help him.
Feeling oddly, almost irrationally, comforted, he began to eat the sandwich he'd brought for himself, letting himself relax.
"How was Dobby?" Hermione asked, aware that Harry had relaxed beside her, the tension leaving him along with the shadows in his expression. She felt herself relax as well, a level of peace returning to her. She didn't know exactly what had calmed him down and brought him out of his despondence but she was glad of it and could only hope that she could comfort him always.
"He's fine." He glanced at her, smiling slightly. "He told me something you'd be glad to know, that McGonagall is still paying him like Dumbledore did."
"And Kreacher?"
Harry sobered. "Still there, still mental. Still hates me. I didn't talk to him but Dobby told me."
"Oh, okay."
"You didn't have to wait for me before you went in to talk to Professor McGonagall, you know," she told him.
"Actually, yes, I did. I don't know the new password, remember?"
"Oh but McGonagall didn't change the password yet. It's still the old one."
Harry's expression abruptly seemed to close. "Oh," was all he said.
"She told me in my letter," Hermione explained, her tone soft, sympathetic, as she put a hand on his arm. "She said as Head Girl I would have the right to know and that she hadn't changed it yet."
Harry blinked, looked away, and then took a deep breath, mentally steeling himself. "Okay, then, let's go."
He stood up, giving Hermione a hand to help her up.
"Hey, wait up!"
Ron hurried up to them, a half-eaten chocolate éclair in one hand and what looked to be a bag full of more food in the other.
"You think you have enough food there?" Harry asked with a grin.
Ron reddened slightly as he hurriedly finished up the éclair. "The house-elves insisted and I just couldn't disappoint them. Besides, I figure we could use it."
Hermione smiled even as she shook her head. "Of course. I suppose we should just be thankful you didn't bring more than one bag of food."
"Hey, I'm a growing boy," Ron protested. "I need sustenance."
Harry and Hermione both laughed.
"If you grow much more, you'll be too tall to fit inside the door of Grimmauld Place," Harry teased.
"I'll duck," Ron grinned. "So, are we going in?"
"Yes," Harry answered even as Hermione spoke the password. "Sugar Quills," she said clearly.
Harry couldn't help but smile at Dumbledore's use of candy names for his password, though his amusement was tempered, as it always was at the thought of Dumbledore, with grief.
The gargoyle leaped aside and they stepped onto the staircase.
They sat side by side facing what was now the Headmistress's desk, Harry sitting in the center.
He swallowed as he glanced at Dumbledore's still-sleeping portrait and for a moment thought that he would give almost anything just to see Dumbledore's eyes twinkling over some little joke.
McGonagall looked from Ron to Harry. "Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter, it is good to see you both looking so well. Miss Granger has already told me some of your plans and while I won't say I entirely approve, I do understand."
Ron nodded, looking thankful not to be scolded.
Harry swallowed, keeping his gaze steadily averted from Fawkes's empty perch, and began. "Professor, I- er- Hermione convinced me that I need to tell you exactly what we're doing. I wasn't going to because Professor Dumbledore made me promise not to tell anyone but Ron and Hermione but Hermione said-and I agree-that you need to be told now."
He stopped, looking down at his shoes, wondering exactly where to begin.
"I understand," McGonagall spoke in an unusually gentle tone. "You might begin by telling me where you and Professor Dumbledore went on that last night."
Harry looked up, meeting McGonagall's gaze, oddly more confident from the bluntness of her question and the directness of her gaze. "We went to find one of Voldemort's horcruxes," he stated simply.
McGonagall's expression seemed to flatten in shock and for the first time in his memory, her jaw dropped open slightly. "Voldemort made a horcrux…" she repeated more to herself than to them, visibly trying to regain her composure. "I suppose I should not be surprised. It does sound like him-and he was certainly clever enough and powerful enough to learn how to create one," she managed to say in something approaching her usual manner. She paused. "Horcruxes? He made more than one?"
Harry nodded. "He made six."
At any other time, Harry might have been amused at the shock on McGonagall's face and the way her jaw dropped again. "Six?" her voice rose slightly.
If he had ever had any doubt about just how low Voldemort had fallen, just how dark the magic used to create a horcrux was, it would have been forever put to rest at the horror in McGonagall's expression and her tone.
"Then- did you and Professor Dumbledore find a horcrux that night?" McGonagall asked, something of her usual crispness returning to her tone although she still looked rather shaken.
"No, we didn't. Someone-we think it was Sirius's brother, Regulus-had already stolen the horcrux and put a fake one in its place with a note to Voldemort saying he'd figured it out and he planned to destroy the real horcrux and bring Voldemort that much closer to being mortal again."
"Regulus Black," McGonagall repeated. "Yes- I suppose- I can believe that too. He- he was never as- bad- as some of the others were and he did, for all his being in Slytherin, retain some measure of hero worship for his brother. I remember I was disappointed to find he had become a Death Eater." She spoke quietly, slowly, as if thinking aloud more than actually talking to the three of them. For a moment, she stared down at the desk, thinking-but then she seemed to blink and looked up, once more the Professor.
"But then what about the real horcrux?"
Harry glanced at Ron and then at Hermione as if seeking their permission, which he received in a small nod from Ron and a look from Hermione. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the locket and the key which he and Hermione had just found and placed them on the desk.
"The locket is the real horcrux that Regulus Black stole and hid in Grimmauld Place. We just found the key in the Chamber of Secrets."
"You went down to the Chamber of Secrets? How did you know a horcrux would be there?"
"Hermione figured it out," Harry said with a slight smile at Hermione. "Professor Dumbledore told us that Voldemort would hide the horcruxes in places that had some special meaning to him and Hermione reasoned that Hogwarts obviously meant something to Tom Riddle and within Hogwarts, there was no place more precious to him than the Chamber of Secrets."
McGonagall nodded, looking at Hermione approvingly. "Very good, Miss Granger," she said in much the same tone as she would have used to award Gryffindor 20 points.
Hermione flushed slightly and smiled.
"That's actually where we thought you could help us, Professor," Harry began. "Can you think of any other places where Voldemort might hide a horcrux?"
McGonagall paused, frowning slightly. "I cannot think of one immediately but I will go through the records of Tom Riddle's life as far as we know it. I know Professor Dumbledore kept an eye on Tom Riddle after he left Hogwarts and may have written something down. But that's two horcruxes. What about the other four?"
"Tom Riddle's diary was one, Professor Dumbledore said, and I destroyed that in 2nd year. The ring, the Gaunt ring, was the one Professor Dumbledore wore on his hand after he destroyed it. Professor Dumbledore was almost sure that Hufflepuff's cup is another one and lastly, Nagini, Voldemort's snake."
"And the key was once Rowena Ravenclaw's," McGonagall finished. "There are legends, tales, of a key which Rowena Ravenclaw always wore on a chain around her neck in life, although stories differ as to what the key was supposed to unlock. Some said it was a magical key that could unlock anything; some said it was meant to unlock a special box which held something very precious or very dangerous; others even said the key didn't unlock anything but was merely symbolic of knowledge which Rowena Ravenclaw had always said was the 'key' to achieving anything. This must be that key."
"Of course," Hermione spoke up, addressing herself more than anyone else in the room. "I hadn't stopped to think about it but I remember reading about it."
"Hufflepuff's cup and Nagini…" Professor McGonagall frowned. "Somehow I must say I doubt that Nagini would have been made into a horcrux. It is a very tricky business to put a portion of a soul into a living thing and Nagini is, moreover, a normal snake and so can be killed. It would seem much safer especially in wanting to protect the pieces of his soul to live forever as he did, to ensure that all the horcruxes were inanimate objects which could be hid in safe places."
"We'll have to worry about that when we come to it," Harry said rather grimly. A vague thought, a suspicion, or the beginnings of one was beginning to tickle at the back of his mind but retreated when he attempted to draw it out. "Professor, I wonder- do you know how to destroy a horcrux? We've tried using every spell we can think of on the locket and it hasn't done anything."
"Of course it hasn't. Destroying a horcrux requires a level of magical ability that none of you would learn at Hogwarts, even after you had passed your N.E.W.T's," McGonagall answered crisply, once more herself. "In fact, I'm amazed that the basilisk venom was enough to destroy the diary."
Harry waited, holding his breath, for McGonagall to say something more as she frowned absently in the direction of the bookshelves. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all…
"I do not know how a horcrux might be destroyed," McGonagall finally said and Harry slumped. "Horcruxes are a highly taboo subject, one which very few wizards are even aware of the existence of, let alone knowing about creating or destroying one."
"I couldn't find anything in the library about it," Hermione offered.
"I should think not. The subject has been banned completely at Hogwarts for time out of mind." McGonagall sounded shocked at the very idea of there being any information about horcruxes anywhere in the school library.
"But we need to know! It's what I need to do! Can you tell us anything?" Harry's voice rose in frustration at McGonagall's utter lack of helpfulness, uncaring that he was in her office and that she was, despite his decision not to return, technically still his professor and one which he had always respected. He felt Hermione put a hand on top of his, putting a gentle pressure on it, calming him down wordlessly, and he turned to look at her.
Getting angry isn't going to help. You know Professor McGonagall will do all she can, Hermione's look told him.
Sorry, he apologized silently and saw the understanding in her eyes.
She kept her hand on top of his, a gentle, unobtrusive reminder, and he suddenly felt a flare of affection for her-and the way she had of disarming him- which helped, more than just about anything else, to calm him down.
"Sorry," he mumbled to McGonagall. "But it is what I need to do this year instead of going to school, you know. I need to finish what Professor Dumbledore started and destroy the rest of the horcruxes and then kill Voldemort."
"Yes I know. There are a number of books in this office, the Headmaster's private collection, and I will go through them all looking for any information that might be helpful. Also, when Professor Dumbledore's portrait awakens, he should be able to tell us more about how he destroyed the ring. Until then, I can only suggest you all return to Grimmauld Place where you should be relatively safe, for now, and practice dueling and other things while learning more Defense Against the Dark Arts." She paused, pulling out a piece of parchment and writing something on it. "Oh and Miss Granger, I give you permission to go into the Restricted Section of the library and take out any book in it and the rest of the library which you might find useful. I trust I need not tell you to be careful with the books." She handed the parchment to Hermione.
Hermione flushed and beamed. "Oh thank you, Professor!"
Harry stifled a smile. Only Hermione would sound so excited and grateful at such a favor. She sounded rather as any other girl might sound if they'd been given a year's free supply of any gowns of their choice from the most expensive wizarding clothing store in Britain. Harry mentally wrinkled his nose at the thought. Yes, Hermione was definitely better than any other girl.
"I will let you know when Professor Dumbledore's portrait awakes."
Harry nodded as they all stood up. "Thank you, Professor."
"And Mr. Potter--" he looked back at McGonagall-"good luck."
He managed a smile, thinking with some surprise that he might actually rather miss having McGonagall for a professor. "Thank you."
"Oh and Mr. Weasley…"
Ron started at his name, looking back at McGonagall as if expecting her to take off points from Gryffindor.
"I will be writing to your parents to let them know that I have seen you and I find your loyalty to your friends commendable."
Ron's ears-and the rest of his face-reddened. "I- er- thank you, Professor."
Professor McGonagall watched the three young people go, an unusually soft expression in her eyes if anyone had been there to see it. Those three, such loyal friends-she had always had a soft spot for them, entirely apart from her soft spot for Harry himself, admiring the strength of their friendship. It was the sort of bond she had not seen since-since the friendship of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. And she could not help but think that it would be those bonds of friendship which would help Harry more than almost anything else in the coming months.
She glanced at the still-sleeping portrait of Dumbledore and spoke aloud to it, as she had developed a habit of doing. "Albus, when you awaken, I have some things to say. Taking a 16 year old boy, Harry Potter or not, along with you to find a horcrux? Had you gone senile, Albus? What were you thinking?"
She heard the creaky voice of old Headmaster Dippet respond. "I must say, Minerva, addressing Albus like that will not make him awaken any sooner. If anything he is likely to sleep as long as possible if only to avoid the confrontation. I certainly would."
"Oh if I know him, he'll be quite able and eager to defend himself," McGonagall assured Dippet with another half-baleful look at the sleeping Dumbledore.
Dippet chuckled softly. "Yes, you might be right."
McGonagall permitted herself a thin-lipped, rather grim smile before she began searching through the bookshelves for any book which might contain information on horcruxes.