Blood On Her Hands
Two days later, Dumbledore knocked at Nevra's door. The Sorting Hat was in his hands.
"Come in, Headmaster. Would you like some tea?" She asked politely.
"No, thank you, Ginny. Well, here is the final key to the plan." He held the Sorting Hat out to her.
She reached to take it, then hesitated. He watched her carefully with those keen eyes of his. Taking a deep breath, she took it in her hands. The thing that would Betray her home…the place that had sheltered her for so many years. The thing that would kill innocent children. Just for a chance to destroy Voldemort.
She supposed many would consider it a fair bargain. But to her, the deaths of children held an immeasurable price. Even the destruction of the Dark Side didn't seem worth it. But she would follow orders. Dumbledore rattled off some final instructions and she nodded briskly.
"It will be done, Dumbledore."
"The Light willing, we shall prevail."
"The Light willing." She prayed it would be so. Children would die for this.
She scrawled out a quick message to Blaise and Draco, and copied a second time to mail to the Dark Lord.
I have the Sorting Hat. When should we reveal my part in the Dark Trio. - N
By nightfall she had received three different replies.
Your Test will begin tomorrow at dusk with the presentation of the Sorting Hat. The Alliance will be announced to the Inner Circle 3 days after you pass the Test presented by the Inner Circle. If you pass the test, your initiation will be 12 days after the Test date at dusk. I leave it to your discretion when to announce it to your followers. Be wise in your decision. - Lord
Follow what the Dark Lord says…if you don't you will not be Initiated. It is the only option left to us. - B
Announce the Alliance to the commoners alone a few hours before you announce it to the Inner Circle. No chance for gossip to get around, yet enough time to prove you trust them and to strengthen their trust in you. I will announce it to the Circle and you and B will accompany me, because I am the highest rank (as Heir). - D
She took a deep breath. So began the betrayal of Hogwarts. So she would enter the highest ranks of the Death Eaters. She supposed Blaise had not told Draco about the reaction…unless Draco simply did not care what Nevra thought of him.
She pushed away hurt. She had no right. She didn't mean anything to him. Yet she couldn't help remembering how Harry had treated her so long ago. How the Light treated her as a tool. She couldn't help comparing that to the way Draco had held her as she cried in Denmark. To the way she had felt in his arms…protected.
If that time in Denmark was the true face of the Dark Side, and Harry the true face of the LIght…than what was to prove that the Light was the right side? If she was a person on the Dark Side, and merely a tool to be used until she was dead on the Light…was she a fool to align her loyalties the way she had?
No. Never. She knew the Dark was wrong. But damn it! She still couldn't forget the vulnerability of Draco's eyes when she said she could love him …she couldn't forget his arms wrapped around her…she couldn't forget the feelings she tried to deny.
But she could ignore. And ignore she would. Because the Light was the Light…and the Dark was the Dark. Was wrong…was evil…
She hoped the belief she had held all her life were truly right. If it weren't…she would have the blood of the only friends she had really had all her life on her hands without the water of righteousness to cleanse them. She would be a murderer…plain and simple.
She laughed to herself. Who was she kidding? She already was a murderer. The blood of countless numbers of Dark spies (on the Light), and nameless Muggles were on her hands…in the name of duty. In the name of Duty, she could pretend that it was alright. But deep inside, she would always know… she was a murderer.
Early Morning Conversation
The next morning, Nevra opened her eyes to knocking on the door. Wrapping a robe around herself, she hurried to the door, opening it a crack.
"Potter? What are you doing here? It's just past dawn."
"I am hoping I can shock you into talking through our problems while you're still too tired to really think about it." Nevra smiled bitterly.
"There's nothing to talk about. It's old history."
"Ginny, we need to work together as a team. The only way we will be able to do that is if we become comfortable with each other. Which means we need to "make up" as your mother would put it."
Nevra said bluntly. "She isn't my mother. She stopped being that when she filed the papers of disownment at the Ministry. In fact, she told me I should consider myself privileged that she let me keep the family name. The only reason she didn't take that away from me was because Bill stopped her. Said I was still the baby of the family and I needed something to hold on to."
He sighed. "Where did we go wrong, Nevra?"
"When you decided your love for my family was more important than your love for me. When you turned my back on me because I wanted to work for the Cause that you would have died for." He winced.
"Touché. I get the point. Your mo - Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley are like parents to me. Your brother is my best friend…what did you expect me to do?" He looked at her with the killer smile and the look that seemed to say "Nothing is ever my fault."
"Potter, we were going to get married! You picked your would-be in-laws over your fiancée of three years! The woman you said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with!"
He looked at her stubbornly. "That's the point. They weren't just my in-laws. They were the only family I had. I couldn't give up family…not even for you."
She smiled wistfully. "And that, Potter, is where we went wrong. Is where every friendship or relationship I ever had went wrong. People picked my family over me, pure and simple. I don't really care anymore. It used to hurt, but it doesn't anymore. The fact of the matter is I will never trust a single one of you lot again. You betrayed my trust, my love for my family when you said you would love me forever. I can't trust a man who breaks a promise like that. Who breaks my heart. I'm not angry…I just can't trust you anymore."
"Ginny…I still love you…I will love you forever." She cut in. She was tired of this conversation. Nothing was going to make this okay. Potter was too used to having his way. But unlike everyone else with the Light, she didn't give a damn that he was the Boy Who Lived.
"The bottom line is, you loved my family more. And for that…for taking my heart and making me believe you, and then betraying it…throwing it all away - for that I will never trust you. Don't worry, you're quite forgiven. I think you're fake, but I have forgiven you. The only thing I will never give you again is my trust. I will give my life to save you, the Hope of the Light…I will give you my blood…anything really. But you will never ever again have my trust or my love."
The look on Potter's face was quite satisfying. This was probably the first time he had been so thoroughly verbally dressed down without a hint of anger. Civilized, vicious conversation…what a great way to start the day. She felt much better after letting out all those feelings. And even better that he had practically asked for it.
"And now, I feel like getting the rest of my beauty sleep, Potter." She briskly shut the door in his face with a satisfying thud, and proceeded to get back into bed. There were still a couple more hours that she could sleep before breakfast began in the Great Hall.
Skillful Deflections
Nevra returned from the Great Hall to the sanctuary of her own room. She sighed. All the teachers had been told of Potter's presence. Nevra had long since weeded out the Dark spies from the teachers - there was no danger of Harry being discovered by the Dark Side through Hogwarts.
Potter, being the man he was, had told everyone about their early morning conversation…conveniently leaving out that he was to blame for their rift in the first place. All she had gotten at the breakfast tables were glances of disapproval. No one had said a word to her about it, though, she thought in satisfaction. They had gotten a taste of her temper all too often to risk an argument in front of the students.
The comments would come in a few days when she was forced to go to meet to "discuss curriculum" with the Hogwarts Professors. Abington professed he wanted to send his students to the Infirmary for a few months to get some "practical experience" for their Healing Exams at the end of the year. She suspected that would not be the focal point of the conversation, however.
She sighed and donned her robes for the upcoming Test.
Dumbledore knew about it already…he didn't seem concerned. As if he was confident she would make it. Overconfidence seemed to be a weakness for him. She herself wasn't half as sure. The Dark Side could be ruthless in culling out cowardice and incompetence…it was necessary to be the best of the best in order to pull off the complex maneuvers used in battle and even in practice.
The compromise was that she would reveal the Alliance to her followers just hours before the Initiation…after she passed the Test. The Alliance would be revealed to the Inner Circle at the reception following the Initiation…then after the closing ceremonies, Nevra would Summon her followers to announce the Initiation to the Inner Circle and to introduce Blaise and Malfoy to the group. Then, they would "mingle" until the time came to leave. They would Apparate together to Malfoy's residence because it was the most protected against "surprises" like assassins. The newest addition to the powerful in the Hierarchy would be a target until the Dark Side discovered she was not easy prey…not vulnerable. But first, she had to pass the Test.
The time came. She Apparated to the place of the Test with the Sorting Hat in her hands…the Malfoy Manor in Tuscany was beautiful. She arrived in the center of a ring of masked faces. She found Blaise's sapphire eyes, Malfoy's silver ones…for some reason, it didn't make her feel any better to see them. The Dark Lord was standing beside her…actually slightly above her on a platform.
"Nevra, do you stand ready to be Tested?"
"Yes, my Lord."
"This is your Test. Bind yourself to me with the most powerful Binding Spell ever possessed by the Dark…the Innocuroso Charm."
She hesitated. It was rumored terrible things could happen when the Binding occurred twice to two different loyalties. Malfoy's mouth opened and she held up a finger to stop him.
"That could destroy us."
"Pray tell, Nevra, how could it do that?"
"It will not bind to the Freed. And you are one of them." Voldemort's eyes glowed with a reddish tint of annoyance.
"And how do you know that which the Dark Lord knows not?" Blaise's eyes pleaded with her to be careful. She suddenly heard Blaise's voice in her head.
Another gift I have of which you knew nothing about. Mind Speaking is a special talent that Empaths have. Be steady…think about what you say and do now. The situation is critical. Although, your maneuvering is excellent, I must say.
She was lucky her mask hid her expressions. Blaise could talk with her in her own head! The secrets even the Bound kept from one another…she reined in her reeling mind. Now was not the time.
"Read the spell, my Lord. It says, 'Our bonds do defy every promise and lie, that we have made before this day.' When you have been freed of the bond once…the spell can no longer apply to you because the bond had already been made…it was just broken…somehow." There was a slight question in the last word…a last hope to discovering the secrets of the Innocuroso. Dashing her hopes, the Dark Lord ignored it.
"Skillfully deflected, Nevra." There was a slight smile on his face, and his eyes glowed ever hotter with anger.