Unofficial Portkey Archive

Author/Artist: sapphiretragedy (on LJ) , diggingupophelia (on PK)

Title: Secrets and Lies

Prompt: Ron was tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange the summer after sixth year. Harry and Hermione use a dangerous spell to save him. It opens their minds to each other and long buried feelings are exposed.

Summary (for fics) Medium (for art): See above.

Warning (if applicable): Spoilers for HBP. Dark Fic.

Other ships (if applicable): H/G and R/Hr in the beginning. But I promise nothing over the top.

Rating: Mature. Language and Violence.

Notes (optional): This was a great way for me to come back to H/Hr. I had wandered for a while. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. Comments and Concrit are welcomed. Flames are not welcomed.

*Originally posted to the LJ community hhr_serendipity for the 2005 H/Hr FQF

Part 2/2

***

Hermione felt him pull out of her mind abruptly. She gagged when she heard him wretch in the corner, but went to him anyway. She concentrated until the room provided a water basin, a cloth, and cup of water. As Harry emptied the contents of his stomach she rubbed his back gently.

"I tried to block those memories, Harry. I'm sorry," she said as she pressed the cool cloth to the back of his neck. "I guess that you and I are on equal footing as far as Occlumency goes," she joked as she helped Harry into a sitting position.

"Thanks," he said as he took the cup of water from her to rinse his mouth.

"You better thank me, you know how strong my stomach is," she said taking the rag from his neck and putting it back in the basin. "Maybe that's enough for right now."

"I just need a minute," he said as he ran his hand through his already messy hair. "I just didn't expect that to happen. I thought …" his voice drifted.

"It's finally had a chance to sink in is all, Harry," she said softly.

He nodded. Hermione reached over and clasped his hand in her own. She noticed how rough his hands were from calluses. No doubt those were caused by the number of sessions he spent practicing defensive spells. Harry moved to tug his hand away, but Hermione latched on to it. She convinced herself it was a reflex and let go.

"Sorry," she said embarrassed.

"About what?" he asked, puzzled.

"N..nothing," she said quickly. "You still look peaky. Maybe we should eat first and then try again."

"Ug. Don't mention food," protested Harry. "Let's try now and then we'll take a break. If it's one thing I learned from those lessons with Snape it was that these things are best taken in moderation."

"Right then," she said as she moved back to the cushioned area and laid back. "I'm ready when you are."

Hermione watched Harry walk over to the cushioned area. She noticed that he really wasn't skinny anymore. He could probably be considered lithe, she thought. He was more sure of himself, that was certain, and it definitely showed in the way he walked. Hermione quickly banished those thoughts and set to the task before her. She was supposed to be reading his mind.

Hermione pulled her wand from the pocket in the side of her jeans and pointed it at her head. "Legilmens," she whispered. She looked into Harry's eyes. She focused her energies on reading his thoughts but broke the connection after a moment.

"Harry, you need to let your defenses down," she said, irritated.

"Sorry, it's force of habit now," he said relaxing so he could open his mind to Hermione. "Ok, let's try again. This time I won't try to keep you out," he joked as he laid back.

Hermione watched him lay there. She focused on the rise and swell of his chest as he controlled his breathing and presumably prepared his brain to be invaded.

"Harry, I can't see into your eyes when you're laying like that," she complained. "Could you sit up, at least a little?"

"Right, sorry," he said adjusting himself so that he propped himself with his hands behind him and his legs sticking straight out. "This better?"

"Much," she said as she pointed her wand to her head. "Legilmens," she said in her normal speaking voice. She focused on Harry's eyes. Soon she found her brain flooded with images, most of which, she was familiar with. She saw herself seated in front of him, wand pointed to her head. She saw herself flipping through the pages of a book in the library while chewing on her lip. Her lips curled into a smile at seeing that. She wasn't aware she did that when she was focused. She saw Harry standing with his parents behind him. She surmised this was Harry standing before the Mirror of Erised. She saw Harry standing before the mirror again. This time there was a woman standing beside him. She tried to focus on who the woman was before Harry broke the connection.

"Harry! Why did you do that?" she asked, a bit perturbed.

"I was getting a headache," he said with his eyes focused on the ground.

"Right. Well at least we know we can do it. I guess now we'll just need to practice to see how long we can sustain the connection. The book says we'll need at least an hour."

"An hour?" asked Harry. Hermione would say he sounded worried if she didn't know better.

"At the very least. It could take us longer," she explained. Her tone sounded a bit grim, and she knew it. As much as she was loath to admit it the odds weren't that great and she was a bit afraid.

"We've got some work to do then. How about we grab some dinner and Pepper-Up and get back to work?" he said, standing up.

"Yeah, I do feel a bit drained," she said holding out her hands indicating she wanted help up.

Harry grabbed Hermione's arms and pulled her up to her feet. "Gods, what have you been eating, you're getting heavy," he teased.

"Ha, ha, Harry. That was very original," she said playfully hitting him on the shoulder. Hermione couldn't help but smile. For that moment it was just her and Harry and nothing else. There was no looming danger and no impending doom. She caught herself staring at his lips and felt the urge to capture them in her own lips. She thought for a moment she had caught Harry's gaze, but when she looked again he wasn't looking at her. "Ready to eat then? I'm sure that there are people out there who are dying to catch up with you," she said as she moved away from Harry and closer to the door.

"Yeah," he said distractedly.

***

Dinner turned out to be less about catching up with Harry and more about dissuading Harry and Hermione from attempting to free Ron from his condition. Lupin had started in as soon as the pair arrived in the Great Hall. While Harry and Hermione had been off preparing to perform the spell, Lupin had been exposing the `secret' operations of the Dynamic Duo.

"So, Harry," began Lupin, "any luck with the mind reading? Are you feeling all right?"

Lupin watched Harry fidget in his seat a bit as he shifted food around on his plate. Something was amiss, that was certain. However, Lupin seriously doubted it had anything to do with recent events. He recognized that look. Of course he hadn't seen this particular look on Harry's face, but he still knew what was gnawing at him.

"I'm fine," Harry replied shortly as he reached for his goblet of Pumpkin juice.

"Good, then I feel absolutely no guilt what-so-ever in saying to you that I think you plan is complete rubbish," Lupin said, with an edge of anger in his voice.

"Professor I don't really think you are in any position to tell me what to do," Harry replied coolly keeping his focus on his plate.

"Harry, don't be so rude," chastised Hermione as she picked up a roll from the center of the table.

"Then he should mind his own bloody business," he retorted crossly.

"Harry, Dumbledore wouldn't want you doing such a thing, It's too risky," added Professor McGonagall.

"With all due respect, Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore isn't here to tell me what to do. He was murdered if you recall."

"Harry James Potter, I will not allow you to take that tone with me," snapped Professor McGonagall. "There are things you've yet to understand in this world boy. Open your eyes and look around at what you have. You are still fortunate."

"Fortunate? You call my life fortunate? I was orphaned before I could even have memories of my parents, left on the doorstep of relatives who didn't care about me, I've had five previous encounters with the man who is trying to kill me, Voldemort has managed in some way or another to systematically kill the people I value most in my life and you call me lucky?" he shouted from where he sat.

Those seated at the table looked at him wide-eyed. This was the break they had all been expecting, thought Lupin. The boy had too much responsibility to shoulder. In all their efforts to help him and protect him, they had forgotten just how much he had already lost and how jaded the world had made him.

"Harry, sit down," Lupin said, authoritatively. Lupin was surprised when Harry actually sat down. He watched Harry stare into nothingness as his fists clenched over the fabric of his robes.

"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly as a tinge of red crept over his face. "I just have a lot on my mind right now and I …"

"Harry everyone understands," said Hermione reassuringly.

"How can anyone else understand when I don't even understand," he said morosely.

Lupin looked at Harry with a heavy heart. He wanted nothing more than to tell him everything would be fine and that it would all work out in the end. "Harry we're all here for you. You can go to any of us. Really. It's just that we think it's in the best interest of the cause if you and Hermione just let Ron … go," he said softly. He looked away from Harry when he said the last words. He couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes.

"The cause?" asked Harry his tone full of disbelief. "I'm going to give everyone I ever loved or cared about to the cause. Why don't you all take a number then? At least I'll know who goes when and can spend my time accordingly. Damn it. This is my choice. Hermione and I are going to save Ron. We'll be fine. We always get through these things together."

Lupin cleared his throat. He watched Harry shift in his seat. He saw Hermione place a hand on his shoulder before pulling him into a hug. Lupin noticed that Harry both leaned into the hug and closed his eyes while he … smelled Hermione's hair? Suddenly, Lupin changed his mind about what needed to be done.

"Harry, you and Hermione need to go and get ready to cast the spell. Time is of the essence. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask."

Harry and Hermione cast each other a furtive glance before hastily making their way to the Hospital Wing to check on Ron and get Pepper-up before heading back to the Room of Requirement.

"Remus Lupin, what did you just do? I thought the goal of the conversation was to dissuade them from hurting themselves!" hissed Professor McGonagall.

"Minerva, did you see what happened? Notice anything odd during the conversation between Harry and Hermione?"

"No … I … Remus? Are you certain? I mean, Ron and Hermione they're …"

"Whatever they are now won't be for long. I know that look. James had that look when he was mad for Lily and she was mad for Se…" Lupin caught himself before he finished that sentence. There was no need to drudge up all the horrors of the past.

"I'll hold off on screaming at you until something goes wrong," she said stiffly.

"And if nothing goes wrong?"

"Then you get to keep your ear drums," she said brightly. "Now, I have a date with a portrait."

***

Hermione wandered to Ron's bedside while Harry took his dose of Pepper-up from Madam Pomfrey. It was his job to charm a few more vials from her so they could theoretically practice all night.

Ron looked a tad better than he had when he was brought in and he didn't smell has horrendous. The gashes on his face were healed, but scars were left in their stead.

"At least you don't have so many freckles now," she whispered to him as she brushed his cheek with her finger. She pulled her finger away as though she had been electrified. He was so cold. She looked at him more closely and realized his breathing was still shallow. She bit back her tears and kissed Ron on the forehead.

Hermione sat on the edge of the bed. He could hear Harry arguing with Madam Pomfrey. She rolled her eyes, you'd think he was asking her for heroin the way she was carrying on. Hermione stared at Ron. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. His hand was limp and he was unresponsive.

Hermione was confused. She thought that if something happened to Ron she would be more upset. She should have by rights been hysterical. Sure, she was level headed most of the time, but this was the man she had pledged her love to. She should be more upset or unsettled or feel anything but indifference.

`Hermione, you're just in shock. That's all. When this hits you you'll be upset. Just look at what happened to Harry today,' she reasoned. `He didn't even cry at her funeral and today he just exploded.'

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder. "We'll save him, Hermione."

"Of course we will, Harry. We always stick together," she said as she quickly swiped any stray tears from her face. She hoped she didn't look like she had been crying as she got to her feet. "Come on, Harry, we've got a lot of work ahead of us."

"Tell me, did you happen to draw up a schedule? I find them very useful," he said in an effort to lighten the mood.

"Harry, please don't make me hex you," she said with a smile.

"That's what I like to see, that smile. I haven't seen it enough since last year," his tone was nostalgic.

"Since when do you pay attention to how much I smile," she asked narrowing her gaze in suspicion.

Harry hesitated before he answered. "How could you be someone's friend for as long as we've been friends and not notice those things?"

"Point taken," she said as she led the way to the Room of Requirement.

***

"We need chocolate," said Harry knowingly as he fell back on to the fluffy pillows that appeared just as he had need for them.

"No, we need to get this right," said Hermione throwing a book down in frustration. "All I keep seeing in your head are memories of us. We need memories of the two of us with Ron. Neither of us seems to be getting what we need for the length of time we need it. We're supposed to be feeding him memories of himself so he snaps out of this … thing."

Harry didn't interrupt her as she vented. He knew she needed it. When he felt she was done, he walked over to her on his knees to offer her chocolate. "A peace offering?"

Hermione snatched the chocolate from his hand. "This never works for me," she before she devoured the square of chocolate.

"That is not true. I seem to recall chocolate is a good ally of mine during certain … how shall I put this delicately … situations," he finished with a slight blush.

"Honestly, I'm not that bad," she argued.

Harry quirked his eyebrow at her. "Would you like to see how bad you are?"

"Why not?" she said rolling her head to try to make the stiffness in her neck disappear.

"Are you sure now? Because once you see this, you might regret how awful you were to me and Ron."

"You can't blame me for those situations. I have no control over what happens."

"You just wait until you see for yourself," he teased.

Harry sat Indian-style in front of Hermione, who mimicked his seating arrangement. She put her wand to her head and said the incantation.

+++

"Hermione, can I borrow your History of Magic notes?" asked Harry.

"Oh, so that's all I'm good for? My notes. Fine, here you are then," she said tossing a large bound sheaf of parchment at him.

"Why are you so angry," he asked nicely as he sat down in the seat across from her.

"I didn't mean to snap. I'm just … under a lot of pressure," she said.

"I see. I'll be right back," Harry replied as he scurried off to his dormitory to retrieve something.

Hermione could sense an emotion she couldn't quite place but was certain she was familiar with as she saw Harry get closer and closer to the door marked: Fifth Years

"I know I put it here someplace," Harry said to himself as he rummaged in his trunk. Before long he pulled out a small bar of Honeydukes finest and went back to Hermione.

As he approached her, he could hear Hermione chastising someone. He assumed it was Ron without even looking. Then came the insult that made him certain it was Ron. "Honestly, Ronald, the only function your brain serves is to keep your head from caving in! For the last time, you cannot copy my Astronomy chart."

"Fine. Next time you need help with your homework …" started Ron.

"I'll ask one of the fence posts at the edge of the forest," she replied dryly as she dipped her quill in a pot of ink.

Ron pushed past Harry looking glum. "I wouldn't go near her if I were you mate. Bloody women," he cursed under his breath as he disappeared into the staircase.

Harry went and sat next to Hermione anyway. He watched her scratching away at her essay for a few moments before he cleared his throat to get her attention. "For the lady," he said sincerely.

"You always know just what I need, Harry," she said happily as she took the chocolate from his outstretched hand. "Thanks."

"It's what friends are for," he said shrugging. "Do you mind if I do my work here?" He paused. "I … uh … heard how you sent Ron away and I don't want to interfere."

"You'll never interfere, Harry. You know not to ask to copy my assignments," she said handing him a few blank sheets of parchment, a spare quill, and pushing her inkpot to the center of the table.

+++

Hermione gently pulled out of Harry's mind.

"That was interesting," she said as she got up to stretch.

"Not for me. I had to relieve an awful experience," he teased.

"Awful? I think Ron was the one getting the brunt of the awful," she retorted.

"Well, he deserved it. I was nice and I fed you chocolate."

"That you did. But it's odd how you just knew," she said pensively.

He shrugged. "Just doing my job."

Hermione gave him an odd look.

"What?" he asked.

"Something just occurred to me, but … never mind."

"Oh no, you're going to tell me. I just gave you chocolate!"

"No, Harry, the room gave me chocolate," she said cheekily. "Well … I … I guess there is no delicate way to put this so I'm just going to come out and ask it. But you have to promise that you won't brood over it or get upset or hide from me or any of those things you do to protect people."

"I promise," he said crossing his heart. "But for the record, I do not brood. Brooding is reserved for sociopathic megalomaniacs bent on taking over the world."

"I beg to differ," she said haughtily.

"Nice try, Granger. I believe you had a question to ask me."

The smile fell from Hermione's face and she refused to look Harry directly in the eye. She was still looking in his direction but her gaze was fixed somewhere behind him. "Did you really love Ginny? I mean … I know you cared for her, but did you love her enough to really give her what she was looking for when this whole thing was over?"

Harry was quiet for a moment as he thought things over. "Heh, it's funny you should ask me that. I've been thinking the same thing since Bellatrix pushed her into my arms. I think that means, `no'. If I did love her I think I would have fallen to pieces as soon as I got to you." He noticed Hermione hadn't said a word. "Do you think I'm a bad person?"

"No," she answered quickly. "It's just, with Ron, I sort of feel the same way. And with all these memories we've been able to access and the ones we haven't been able to access … it .. it's just got me to thinking that maybe we … that is to say you and I might … the book says here that if what is happening to us keeps happening that we have unrealized feeling for each other."

"Oh," was all Harry could force out of his mouth. He felt his mouth go dry and his stomach flip over itself. He thought the noise of his heart pounding in his chest would deafen him if it didn't quiet down.

"I'm sorry Harry, I didn't mean to freak you out," she said sheepishly.

"You didn't. I … I feel horrible for thinking it. And you're right. I do have feelings for you. It's just that Ron told me he cared about you and I didn't want to stand in his way. Plus, I thought you two could use each other since I would probably not make it through."

"Always the sodding hero. I don't want you to think I don't love Ron, because I do. I just don't love him that way."

"I understand. It's just … am I imagining things or were you … did you want to kiss me earlier?"

She nodded and blushed.

"Then I wasn't the only one."

"I think we should finish the spell before we do anything. It's just …"

"Yeah, let's get this done." He paused. "We'll have plenty of time after …"

And so they began the work of opening their minds to each other so they could open their minds to Ron. All the while each one became more aware of the feelings the other had tucked away for fear of being rejected, or worse of being loved in return.

***

Harry and Hermione had Ron moved into the Room of Requirement when they were ready to start. It had been two days since Ron was found in the forest and hours of grueling work before Harry and Hermione felt they were ready.

"You two are certain you're ready?" asked Lupin. "A few more hours won't hurt."

"We know Professor," answered Hermione. "We're just ready and we've decided to do this before we lose our nerve."

"Would you like me to stay and make sure …"

"You can stay, but you have to keep separate from us," explained Harry as he propped Ron up on some pillows. "Hermione, he's ready to be sedated," he called.

"Right," Hermione took a vial from a pocket in her robes. She gently poured the potion into Ron's mouth. He swallowed it reflexively. "Harry you lie on the left side and I'll go on the right."

Harry and Hermione reclined on either side of Ron facing him. "Now we won't need to look into his eyes, but we will need to touch him," Hermione explained as she touched the exposed flesh of Ron's ankle. Harry saw what she did and followed suit.

"Now remember what we've practiced, Harry. The whole point is to feed him memories that define him. Keep thoughts of situations he isn't involved in directly down to a minimum. I know it's hard to weed them all out …"

`Hermione, don't worry. I'm not going to tell him I'm in love with his girlfriend before he has enough wits about him to smash me in the face before we make up."

"Ha, ha, Harry. That was bloody hilarious. I'm serious. We could end up dribbling just like he is if we aren't careful."

Harry looked over at Lupin. The banter didn't seem to be calming any of his reservations about the process. "Hermione, I won't let either of you down. Now let's go."

Harry settled back and focused on the sound of Hermione's voice as she murmured the incantation. The words were rubbish to him, but the sound of her voice gave him the resolve he needed to stay put in his seat.

Suddenly the Room of Requirement faded away and he and Hermione were standing in a poorly lit - foyer, for lack of a better word.

"I've always known he had dead space between his ears," Hermione joked uneasily.

Harry was about to ask her if this was what supposed to happen when Ron's voice interrupted him. "And here I thought she cared about me, mate," it teased. Ron was nowhere to be seen, but it was apparent he was aware of the presence of his two best friends.

"Ron?" asked Harry, the uncertainty in his voice was apparent.

"I didn't tell those bastards a single thing," Ron said proudly. "I tried not to scream, not to give that crazy, sadistic bitch the satisfaction - but there was a point when it decidedly became too much. She's far more mental than we ever thought," he said trying to lighten up the tone. "Bloody woman even turned her wand on Snape. I'm not fond of him or anything, but that is just crossing a line and breaking about eighty five rules of some such group," he continued. "She laid him out flat. Good thing she didn't kill him or else …" Ron's voice trailed off at that.

Harry kept casting sideways glances at Hermione. He wasn't sure if Ron could see them, and he didn't want to worry him if he could. He could tell that something was not right with the situation and that Hermione was trying to figure it out.

Hermione cleared her throat to get Harry's attention. He looked at her. She needed no words to tell him that his job was to keep Ron talking. "This wasn't what I …" she began.

"Expected?" finished Ron. "I've heard everything. I just can't do much more than drool in response. As I know you've seen. Would you two mind telling Madam Pomfrey that a bloke likes a bit of privacy when he's …" he stopped suddenly. "What do you two think you're doing?" he yelled. "You can't go risking it all for me!"

"We stick together, Ronald Weasley," Hermione stated in her no nonsense tone.

"Fine. Now you've gone and got yourselves stuck in my head! I'm sure I don't have to tell you there isn't much around to keep a clever girl like yourself occupied," he said harshly.

"You listen here, Ron," started Hermione.

Harry took a deep breath. `Five seconds in the same plane and they're already at it,' he thought as he unconsciously rubbed his temple. "Look, as great as it is that you two are back to your old selves the bickering isn't helping," Harry said flatly.

"Right," said Hermione as she collected herself. There was a moment of reflective pause. "Where are you, Ron?" she asked. Harry could tell by the look in her eyes that she had an idea.

+++

The gears in Hermione's head were rapidly turning. In her mind she went over and over the translation of the Runes. Suddenly, her heart sank - she had misinterpreted the translation.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed. "Snape and his damned riddles," she cursed. Her brain was going into overdrive. She knew she had read something about it somewhere during her perusal of the dusty tomes to translate the runes. Flash after flash of book covers and titles floated into her mind. "It's in the book with the red ribbon book marker," she mumbled to herself.

"Snape!" she barely registered Harry's hysterical exclamation. "The bastard who …"

Before Hermione could muster an appropriate telling off for Harry's tirade, Ron cut in. "Can it, mate. He saved my life. That psycho left me tied to a chair to die. He carried me back to Hogwarts and left me where he knew you'd find me. He even left instructions on how to get me the hell out of my head."

Hermione had known Snape had penned the letter. She knew the man liked puzzles and he was aware it was she who had solved his riddle guarding the Philosopher's stone in her first year. She now realized the runes had been written in riddle form and were not to be taken literally.

"Ron, did he say anything to you?" she asked hopefully.

"Mostly that I was heavy and that I should consider going on a diet," he said thoughtfully.

"Not complaints Ron, but useful information," she snapped.

There was a moment of contemplation. "He cursed … a lot," he added.

"Ok. Fine. Ron, Harry and I have to go back. I didn't understand it was a riddle. We didn't know you'd be so lucid. Is there anything you want to know before we go?"

"Ginny? I know she didn't make it, but did you two see to it she was given a proper burial? No one's mentioned her …" his voice trailed off.

"Yeah, mate. We saw to it," Harry replied with a gravely voice.

"Hermione. I just want to say, in case you don't come back, I'm sorry. I know I royally fucked up in your eyes and I shouldn't have left, but she was my sister. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I … I love you," he said quietly.

Hermione felt like she had been punched in the gut. Every one of those accursed words was a fresh blow. It took all of her strength to reply to him. "I know, Ron," was the only thing she could manage to say. "C'mon, Harry", she said quickly," we've got a lot of work ahead of us."

***

Harry and Hermione were immediately given chocolate upon coming out of their trance.

"Well," asked Lupin.

"It's not exactly what we thought," said Harry around the chocolate in his mouth. He swallowed. "He can hear everything that we say. He's not insane, he's trapped in his own head."

"Madam Pomfrey had thought that may be the case. He wasn't muttering." He paused. "I'm going to take Ron back to the hospital wing."

Harry nodded absently. Lupin noticed that something in Harry's demeanor had had changed. "Harry would you mind helping me? I'd like to have a talk with you."

"Right. Just let me make sure Hermione is alright."

"I'm fine, Harry," she said forcing herself to eat the chocolate she had been given. "You go and help Professor Lupin. I have to go and look some things up in the Library. We won't be able to try again until tomorrow anyway."

Lupin noticed that Harry's eyes followed Hermione as she left the room. He guessed, correctly, that Harry's thoughts stayed focused on the bushy haired witch even after she had vacated the room.

***

Lupin took Harry to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom under the guise of helping him tidy up the room.

After fifteen minutes of dusting sans magic, Harry sunk into the chair behind the professor's desk and sighed. "I really don't' see what the point of this is, Remus. There aren't any students to teach. Who cares if the room is buried under a layer of thick dust?"

"Professor McGonagall cares a great deal. Apparently, the house elves heard something about a curse and Professor Snape and made their own conclusions about the safety of the room."

"Snape. He's not a professor anymore," Harry said, his voice was hollow. Then he gave a derisive snort. "Turns out, I was right about him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

'He's always going around ruining my life. Always. He treated me bad because my parents died and his Dark Lord killed them. He treated me bad because my father was an arsehole to him. As if it weren't bad enough for me to find out that my father wasn't perfect, Snape had to go and rub my nose in it every chance he got. Then - then there's the fact that he's the one who brought Ron back!"

Lupin sat on the edge of the desk with is back toward Harry. It was best not to look him in the eye when he was sharing a heart to heart with the young man. He had read somewhere that males and eye contact were not subjects that went hand in hand. "What do you mean he brought Ron back?" he asked delicately.

"I mean he literally carried Ron back here and gave us - I mean Hermione the spell to get Ron back. Only Hermione read it wrong the first time around and ... all that matters is that Ron is coming back," she said sullenly.

"What's going to change if Ron comes back?" Lupin asked, feigning ignorance.

"Nothing," Harry responded, a bit too quickly. There was an awkward silence and Lupin heard Harry shifting in his chair. "That bastard killed Dumbledore and then ... and then he kills my hope. I mean, Ginny ... she was just because ... because she was there and Ron had his face attached to Lavendar's and Hermione was ... who knows what the hell was going on in her mind? I sure don't. He told her he loved her. She didn't say anything back to him - but she can't ... not if he's back. I just ..." Harry rambled.

"No one blames you for what happened to Ginny. She was ... foolish ... for leaving the protections of the spell."

"How did they know she was there. Why were they waiting for her?" Harry asked. "I've been thinking of that over and over again and it just doesn't add up."

"They all knew where Godric's Hollow was. They knew your parents lived there. They knew you would go back there. They just couldn't get to you unless you left the grounds. The probably took shifts waiting. Your temper and quick action are legendary, Harry. You know that. They were taking advantage of your weakness and in the process they took advantage of hers."

"I didn't even care that she died, Remus. Not really. My heart should of exploded or I should have screamed or ... something. Not even now. I can't even cry for her. I cry because of her," he whispered. "I'm just like Voldemort."

Lupin paused. "Harry, what would have happened if it had been Hermione?"

Harry didn't say a word in reply. Lupin heard a sharp intake of breath and what sounded like a sniffle. He reached in his robes and retrieved a handkerchief. He turned around and offered it to Harry. He gave him a look that asked, "What?"

"I would cry for her. I would have screamed. And I would have followed the Apparation trace and killed Bellatrix where she stood. Nothing else would have mattered other than revenge. I wouldn't have cared about anything else - not even the Wizarding world if he would have killed her."

"See? You're nothing like him." Lupin stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. "I have to tell you something, Harry."

Harry looked up at Lupin with his glassy eyes. He blinked back the fresh tears and straightened in the chair. No good news had ever been prefaced by that phrase.

"Oh, no, it's nothing bad," Lupin said, his voice bright. "No. It's just that, I've been watching you and Hermione watch each other. I've been around a lot of people who are in love, Harry and it's obvious that you and Hermione are in love. She doesn't love Ron - not the same way she loves you. Of that, I'm certain."

"What do you mean that's good news? I might as well sign her death warrant myself! It's safer for her if she loves Ron." He stood up. "Safer for her, but horrible for me. If he has her, I'll hate him. I know I will." Harry's voice was quiet and betrayed his feelings of self-loathing. "He's my best friend."

"And because he's your best friend, he'll understand."

***

Hermione was bending over a steaming cauldron when Harry found her in the Room of Requirement.

"... seven, eight, nine, ten. Then stir eight times anti-clockwise," she said to herself. Harry watched her stir the potion. When she tapped the wooden spoon on the edge of the cauldron and sat it down, he cleared his throat.

"Hi, Harry. This potion is almost done. All we need to do is force it down Ron's throat and he should be able to break through the barrier on his own. We don't need to go back."

Harry nodded.

"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked, worried. "You look a bit peaky."

"You didn't tell him you loved him back," was all he said.

"He heard us, Harry. He already knows what we said to each other before we got sucked into his head. He still loves me. I already told you how I feel, Harry."

"I know, it's just ... not how I wanted him to find out. And he didn't say anything about it."

"What do you expect him to say?" she snapped. "I'm sorry. It's just that I feel horrible about it, too. But I can't help how I feel and you can't help how you feel. And as we just saw, life is short and we might not be here tomorrow and damn it, Harry, I love you."

Harry smiled. "Then it's enough for me." He reached out for Hermione and pulled her close to him. He kissed her on her forehead and pulled her body into his. He hugged her tightly to him. "I don't want to lose you, Hermione. I'm afraid that if I love you, you'll die."

"If you don't love me, I'll die," she whispered.

"Then you leave me no choice. I'll have to love you forever."

"Guess so."

Hermione pulled away from Harry and added a half an inch of space between them. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips gently into his. Harry kissed her back. He wrapped his arm about her waist and pressed her against himself. He allowed his free hand to tangle in her hair so he could deepen the kiss and get closer to her. They pulled apart and stared at each other for a long moment.

"Well, you had better get back to the potion, Hermione. I think I need to have chat with Ron."

Hermione froze. "You can't go back in there alone! It's too risky. From what Prof... I mean Snape's notes say, there are traps and blocks established by the spell. I have to give him this potion first and then perform the counter spell exactly ten minutes after. If he doesn't revive fifteen minutes after the spell is cast, then we go in to his mind and pull him out. We're lucky the three of us aren't living in Ron's head right now," she said in her familiar bossy tone.

Harry sniggered. "Well at least you and I know there is plenty of space available."

Hermione picked up a wadded up bit of parchment and playfully threw it at Harry. "Make yourself useful and set up that number four copper cauldron. Fill it with water and add the pre-mixed silver base, please."

Harry and Hermione set to work. First thing in the morning they would administer the potion to Ron.

***

Ron was sputtering and coughing when he finally came to. Harry and Hermione were each seated at the foot of his bed, one of them on each side.

"That stuff tastes bloody awful, Hermione. I don't care if it did save my life -- that was just horrid. You couldn't have added some mint or a dash of pureed beef?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Next time, I'll look in to it," she said rolling her eyes.

"There better not be a next time," added Harry.

"I'm going to have to agree with Harry on this one here, love," replied Ron. He looked at Hermione meaningfully. "Like I said, I'd love you no matter what. Even if you'd rather be with Harry. And I've had a lot of time to think and ... well, Harry, if you hurt her I'll kill you!"

"I think that's the closest thing we're going to get to a blessing, Harry," said Hermione.

"Too right. Now, what does a bloke have to do to get something to eat around here?"

Harry produced a tray of broth and hot chocolate for Ron. "It's not pureed beef, but considering you've been eating through a tube since you've got here this is a step up."

"Thanks, mate. Say, have you two seen Luna? I've been thinking about her a lot lately. Even before you two started making googley eyes at each other," he smirked.

Just as Harry started to respond, Madam Pomfrey appeared from her office. "Out you two. I have to examine this patient and make sure he's safe and sound after your experimentations."

Harry and Hermione looked at Ron. "We'll be back later," they said at the same time.

***

Harry and Hermione were sitting together under their tree near the lake. The giant squid was tickling the surface of the lake with its long tentacles. Harry was throwing bits of fish into the lake as they sat there.

Hermione leaned against him. "That went well, too well."

"I think he knew how we felt the whole time. I think he was just biding his time and enjoying what he had while it lasted," Harry said as he wiped his hands off on his jeans.

"Do you think he and Luna are going to date?" she asked idly.

"We can only hope. Ron's got a long way to go. He's going to need us."

"It seems like we all need us," Harry said softly.

"That it does. Now quit brooding like a sociopathic megalomaniac and kiss me."

Harry was happy to oblige. Tomorrow, they'd look for horcruxes and Dark Lords. Today, he would just enjoy the young woman he loved.

***

The end.

Thanks to Gothicide for the beta. All mistakes remain my own and as I catch them I'll go back and edit. Sorry for the html coding that got left in this version. I fixed it as soon as I noticed. Feedback never goes unappreciated. Thank you so much for reading.

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