A/N- Hello again everyone! I wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews; I really enjoy reading what you all have to say. Thanks to all of you readers that have just started reviewing, I really do appreciate your comments. Also **huge** thanks to Mulder, who managed to get this chapter back to me in one day when I was running really behind schedule! I also wanted to write a little note to 'hmm…' who has graced me with a couple of reviews. You need to go away and get a life. Whilst you may have bullied another author into leaving this Website you won't bully me. I think you're unbelievably pathetic and if you write me any more reviews I'll simply delete them. If you want to think those things about me then go ahead. Go and bother someone that cares would you? Anyway, on with the story! Here's to you Pottergirl, for the lovely email telling me to get my arse in gear and hurry up with a chapter! Oh and for those of you with a problem with the font…let me know if it's any better this time around! Happy reading!
**Islanzadi** J
Hermione stared anxiously at Harry's face waiting for an answer, but with the way things were looking she was going to have to wait a while. Harry's face was extremely pale and he was staring at the snow-covered floor in utter silence. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip and held her breath for his response. After what seemed like a lifetime, he spoke in a very hoarse voice-
"Shit,"
"Not exactly the response I was looking for," she said slowly, the faint glimmerings of anger slowly starting to form in her mind. She heard Harry sigh deeply then watched as he put his head between his hands. The faint glimmerings intensified suddenly and before she knew it she was standing up and glaring down at him.
"Well this is wonderful Harry," she said icily "after ten whole minutes all I've managed to get out of you is the word shit, which is not the highest ranking word in my vocabulary. When you've had time to think this through, feel free to come and talk to me like an adult." With that she turned around furiously and began to stomp angrily through the snow. The rational part of her was saying 'This is a shock to him, how many seventeen year olds react well when they find out they're going to be a father? Not to mention that you yelled the word 'Fuuuuuck!' when you found out so you're hardly in the position to judge him. You've had a few weeks to get used to the idea, he's had ten minutes!' But regardless of all her rational thinking she still felt furious. Whilst she hated to admit it, she had sort of gotten used to the idea and she had hoped he would have reacted positively. She was infuriated simply because she was so hurt, and the feeling of being that vulnerable to anyone made her suddenly scared. 'Congratulations Hermione, you're a hormonal nutcase' she thought angrily. Before she could think anything more she felt a firm grasp on her arm and found herself being swung about abruptly. She came face to face with Harry, and was disturbed to find tears running down his face. Disturbed was a mild word, and her heart caught in her chest. All the anger she had been feeling melted away. Now she was just afraid.
"Hermione," he said throatily "please come and sit down with me," she nodded her head quietly then quickly said-
"Maybe we should go inside and talk. It's awfully cold out here."
"Not inside," he said slowly "I want this to be private." he looked around for a moment, then held her hand and led her towards the large metal fence. They found the gate and quietly made their way inside, and then followed a small stone pathway to a large cave. They entered the cave and walked in the darkness until a pair of yellow eyes stood out amongst the darkness. There was a flash of orange and suddenly a fire was before them. Hermione looked in amusement at the fire, it seemed that Norbert had somehow acquired a wooden fence and had decided to keep it in his cave. She felt a little bad for the poor owner that had probably watched in horror as a large black dragon took off with his fence. Norbert shifted his huge weight around and slowly walked up through the cave. Harry took off his coat and lay it on the floor in front of the fire and motioned for Hermione to sit down. She felt slightly nauseous at the thought of the conversation that she knew they had to have. She just wanted to hold him close and make him kiss her until it all went away. But it would be foolish, and she knew that the longer they put off talking the harder it would become for Harry. She looked over at him and could see him trembling slightly as he looked at the floor, the walls, the fire…everything but her.
"So…" she said quietly whilst tracing her hand on the cold stone floor. "I want you to know that I didn't mean for this to happen. I can't believe that I would be so stupid! I can't believe that I would forget something so simple as a contraceptive charm. It seems like ever since you and I happened I sort of got lost up in all these feelings. I haven't really been thinking about the real world at all. I, erm, just wanted you to know that."
"I know Hermione," he said softly whilst staring into the fire "I know…" Hermione waited anxiously for him to say more, but it seemed that was all he planned on saying. She knew that she should keep silent and wait for him to talk, she knew that she should wait patiently. But she was so nervous that she thought if she didn't say something she might cry. She hated it when she was weak.
"I'm scared too Harry," she finally said, breaking the agonising silence "I'm not ready for this! What seventeen year old is ready to be a parent? None I say, not one of them. What will my parents think? Teenage pregnancies are much more accepted in the wizarding world than in the muggle one. What are my relatives going to say? They're going to think I'm some sort of tart! Not to mention my career. It's going to be so hard raising a child and continuing with my education. But at least we have each other Harry. At least we love each other, and surely as long as we have that we can cope with this. Surely we can make this work? I'm not saying it's not going to be hard, or that we'll be perfectly happy all the time. But we'll make it work. This baby might not have two older successful parents, but it will still have parents who love it and-"
"Stop," whispered Harry, interrupting her. She stopped quickly and stared at him, knowing that something was wrong but still wanting to talk over it. She knew she was only talking so much because she didn't want to hear what he had to say. She knew what he was going to say. She sort of thought that she had known all along, but she was so blinded by her feelings that she chose not to see. She didn't want to know what he had to tell her because it would change everything. She had ignored all the obvious signs and chose to pretend everything was ok. Her life would never be the same again. She absently put her hand on her stomach and rubbed it slowly, staring into the fire as she concentrated on keeping her mouth shut. She knew he had to talk; he had to end their dream world now. It had been like living a fantasy with Harry these last few months. But there was a time to get back to reality and she knew that this was the time. She squeezed her eyes shut and felt hot tears trying to force their ways out through her eyelids.
"The spell is demorior," he said sadly. "Dumbledore told me when we went through the veil." Hermione felt like she wanted to scream until her voice stopped working. She could be wrong. She had to be wrong… 'For once in my life, let me be wrong!' she pleaded, but to whom she didn't know.
"D-demorior," she stuttered, trying to stop herself from crying but found herself shaking uncontrollably instead "that's old Latin. It means…"
"To die for love of," interrupted Harry softly, his tears flowing freely now.
"I don't understand!" said Hermione, her voice louder and angrier than she meant it to be. "Why can't you just kill him with a curse? Why does it have to be that? It makes no sense to me Harry!" But she hated to admit that it made perfect sense, and it was something she had been worried about ever since he had told her about the prophecy, and ever since she had found out that he was the heir of Gryffindor.
"It's what Godric used when he killed Salazar. He loved Salazar like a brother before their friendship ended. But to kill Salazar and start the cycle over, he had to forgive Salazar and then show him love. Just like Voldemort Hermione. The key to this whole thing is love. That's what Voldemort doesn't understand. It's the power he knows not. A simple curse won't kill him. He's too deep into the dark magic and he'll be expecting it. He's got years of experience on me; he can deflect something like an Avada Kedavra. But there's one thing he can't defend himself against because it repulsed him too much to learn about it. Love Hermione. Just love…" replied Harry, his voice sounding weary.
"But to sacrifice yourself Harry?! Why? Surely you can just show him love? Surely you can just show him what love is all about and…and…" she stuttered hopelessly. He turned to face her then and smiled sorrowfully at her.
"I love you Hermione. I love Ron and all my friends. I love my life despite what I've been through, maybe because of what I've been through. I would lay down my life for all of you, so that you can carry on living. I was supposed to die when I was a baby. I've been living on borrowed time, now it's time to end this once and for all. When I say those words Hermione, he'll finally see how much I love everyone. How much I love you. That I would be willing to die for you is something he cannot even begin to comprehend, and he won't have time to. 'Neither can live while the other survives,' well neither of us will survive this Hermione. It's not that I was upset about you being pregnant Hermione. It was a shock to know that you're pregnant with my child…and I'll never know it. I guess Trelawny didn't see this part coming," he said quietly, and then he felt Hermione's arms flinging themselves around him and pulling him close.
"Oh Harry," she sobbed desperately "please Harry don't leave me. There has to be another way. There just has to be! Dumbledore must have another solution, he can't make you do this!"
"Hermione," said Harry gently, lifting her face to meet his "he's not making me do anything. There's a cycle of evil that has to be broken…It's like a wheel that keeps on turning and it's my turn to end the cycle so it can start again. This is the way it's been done throughout the centuries. Good verses evil, hate verses love. I will willingly give my life so that everyone can live peacefully. I will willingly give my life so that everyone can be happy. But you're what made me certain I had to do this. You deserve a life Hermione…and so does our baby. I'm doing this because I can love Hermione…and because it's my destiny." he finished simply, and then kissed her softly on her lips. She broke down crying then, and cried so loudly that Harry thought he would die if he had to listen to it for a moment longer. But he held her, and he rocked her until she was eventually lying silent against him. She hiccupped and shuddered every now and then from the force of her tears. They sat there together until the fire died. Eventually she slept and he watched her until the sun rose on the horizon. Then he slept too.
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Lunch that day was very miserable. Everyone noticed Hermione's depressed mood, and after attempting to eat half a sandwich she eventually gave up and went upstairs to sleep. Harry wanted to follow her, but he knew she needed some time alone. She needed to think and get hear head on straight. He knew she would be bounce back in a few days, even if it was just to try and research another way for him to destroy Voldemort. He also knew that it wouldn't work. Dumbledore loved Harry, so did his parents and Sirius. They would try to spare his life, and it had broken their hearts as much as his to tell him this. They too had hoped that there would be another way. But if it kept Hermione busy until the end, if it kept her from breaking down then he would let her research it. She needed a little hope…everyone needed a little hope. He still couldn't get his mind around the idea of being a father, nor the fact that he would never get to meet it. One thing he had always looked forward to was having a family, and now it was all being ripped away from him before he had even had the chance to experience it. He sighed heavily and pushed his plate away. He needed some fresh air. He got up and walked out of the room without a word, leaving a very silent room behind him.
"I take it he finally told her then," said Ron sadly
"You guess right," said Susan quietly
"She told him she's pregnant too," sighed Luna "no wonder he's so depressed."
"WHAT?" shouted Ron, his jaw practically hitting the floor, while Neville seemed to be choking on his tea.
"Oh yeah," said Susan distractedly "Hermione's pregnant."
"Well thanks for keeping me up to date," said Ron sarcastically.
"I still don't understand what's going on," said Neville in a confused voice. "They were fine yesterday. I mean I know that them being a mum and dad so young is going to be hard, but if anyone can do it they can."
"Oh Neville," said Susan sadly "there's always more to our lives than meets the eye I'm afraid. Do you want to tell him Luna? Or shall I?"
"I'd rather you did Suze," replied Luna vaguely "I've got a few things I need to think about. I think a walk would do me the world of good right now," then she stood up and walked quickly through the kitchen door. Ron sat there for a moment, seemingly having a battle in his head, which gave his face some very odd characteristics. Then he too stood up and walked out of the kitchen door. Susan took a large gulp of her tea and started from the very beginning…
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Harry walked without really knowing where he was going. He stared at the snow under his shoes and tried to think of anything except Hermione, their baby and his impending death. But his mind was whirling with stupid thoughts. What would it be, a boy or a girl? What would they name it? If this didn't have to happen, if he didn't have to die…would they have been happy? Could they have made this work being so young? The thing that was upsetting him the most was that he knew the answer to both these questions was yes. They could have because they loved each other, and a love like theirs never dies. He had felt so angry that he would have to leave Hermione and just when he thought he was coping he had to deal with another blow to his heart. All he wanted was to be happy; all he had wanted was a normal life. But he couldn't have that because of Voldemort, and that enraged him. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He knew there was no point in getting angry; nothing was going to change what had to happen.
He looked up and found himself outside of Norbert's cave. He wasn't surprised that his feet had carried him here. He wanted to spend time with Hermione and put off what he had to do. But he knew that was wrong and the sooner Voldemort was dead the sooner the world could get on with their lives and live in peace. He waited outside the cave for a moment before finally stepping inside and walking the large tunnel. It was lighter in here now because there were several little fires all around. No doubt Norbert had been out to find more wood. He had almost reached the ashes from the wooden fence when he heard a movement to his left. He turned and saw Norbert's bright piercing eyes staring at him. They stared at each other for a moment before Norbert finally bent his head and sank slowly to the floor. A small curl of smoke escaped from his nose and Harry gave a half smile. He walked over to Norbert and slowly started to stroke his scales again. He found himself talking to the dragon, though he wasn't sure why. But he did know that it felt relaxing to be talking about nothing in particular, just concentrating on keeping his voice gently. Harry wasn't sure how long he had stood there talking, but it felt like only a few minutes had gone when Norbert suddenly stood up and stretched out his wings. Then he stretched his neck forward and opened his mouth into a wide yawn. Harry couldn't help but feel a little nervous at the rows of white sharp pointy teeth. Norbert then turned to stare at Harry once more, only this time he didn't blink. Harry wasn't sure what this was supposed to mean. Either it was friendly, or he had better start running. He was just about to play it safe and back off when he saw Norbert dip his side towards him. He couldn't possibly mean… Harry turned to look at Norbert as he slowly edged towards his side. Norbert dipped down a little lower and blew out a puff of smoke from his nose. Harry got the message…Norbert was getting a little impatient. He carefully clambered onto the dragon's back, deftly avoiding the few sharp spikes that adorned his body. Norbert started to walk forwards and Harry gripped onto the back of his neck. He felt like he was going to fall off at any moment, and the scales were abrasive even through his jeans. But he didn't get off, he knew that this was part of the trust he had to build and if he got off of Norbert now he might never get back on. As they exited the cave Harry was amazed to see that the sun was setting in the sky. He must have spent hours talking to Norbert…no wonder the dragon got bored and decided to let him fly on him. Norbert started to pick up the pace until they were trotting quickly out of the cave. Then he started to run, and Harry felt his whole body shake from the reverberations. Suddenly Norbert's wings flipped up and he was running faster and faster. Harry gripped tightly into the dragon's neck and closed his eyes. Though he didn't really see how having his eyes closed would help if he fell. He could hear the wings beating past his ears, and then suddenly the familiar rush of air in his face. He opened his eyes to see them thirty metres up in the air, and they were rising. Harry's legs felt a bit sore from Norbert's scales, but all thoughts of that nature went out of his head when he saw his surroundings. He had a full view of the mountains, and the river running through it. The sunset was a brilliant yellow mixed with deep pinks and purples. It was once of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He whooped loudly and Norbert dived quickly, making Harry quickly clasp onto him. Then he swivelled in the air and rose quickly up again, this time almost vertically. When they had settled in the air again, Harry took a chance and let out a loud-
"WOOHOO!!"
Norbert dived again, and this time spun in the air so that Harry was clinging on for dear life until the dragon righted itself. Harry grinned to himself as Norbert came out of the spin. It looked like Norbert knew to have fun…Harry started to laugh as he saw a small house a few hundred metres ahead of them. It looked like it had a wooden fence surrounding it. Well, part of a wooden fence anyway.
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Hermione was lying upstairs when she heard a familiar voice growling from somewhere downstairs. After a few moments she recognised it to be Mad Eye Moody's. She almost got up to see what was going on. She almost wanted to know if he had found out anything about the vampires. But then she sunk back onto her bed again and blinked her swollen eyes. She couldn't be bothered right now. She sighed and rolled over, bringing a thick blanket with her. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She couldn't believe this was happening to Harry. If anyone deserved a break in this life it was him, so why was he always punished? It seemed like she had asked herself these questions over and over, but she had still not found an answer. Then she laughed cynically to herself. Hermione's Granger can't find an answer to a question. No library is going to help here. Doesn't matter what grades you get when it comes to real life. She tried to stifle a sob as she buried herself in the blanket. She never wanted to come out again; she just wanted to stay in this room until she stopped hurting. She knew it was irrational, but she couldn't help it. Her heart was breaking. There was a timid knock at the door, which she ignored. The knock got louder and louder, but still she ignored it. She didn't want to see anyone right now, even Harry. Maybe even especially Harry. The door opened and Hermione groaned as a familiar voice filled the room.
"Hermione," called Luna dreamily "I'm coming in…"
"Yes well I gathered that," said Hermione grumpily
"I wanted to talk to you," she said, sitting herself down on Hermione's bed.
"About what?" asked Hermione angrily "How I'm feeling? The answer is awful. How upset I am? The answer is a lot. What I'm going to do? The answer is I don't know. Have I summed it up for you?"
"Yes well sulking in your bed isn't going to help matters. Nor is being angry at me," replied Luna vaguely "I know you're upset and I know you feel like your whole world is coming to an end. That's not what I wanted to talk about Hermione. I wanted to let you know that there is hope yet. There's always hope."
"Forgive me if I'm not in the hopeful mood right now," replied Hermione sadly "can I ask you a question Luna?"
"Anything," said Luna
"If you knew about this, why didn't you tell me? If you knew what Dumbledore said, why didn't you tell me?" asked Hermione. She had thought she had cried herself out, and was surprised at the new tears streaming down her face.
"It was Harry's secret to tell," said Luna simply "just like it was your secret to tell Harry. But there are no more secrets now. I imagine that there won't be any secrets between you ever again. This can only make you stronger,"
"How can it make me stronger? I feel so scared and lonely right now. I feel like I've lost him already," said Hermione starting to sob.
"You need to make the best of the time you have left. Do the things you want to do with each other now. Act like tomorrow could be your last day Hermione, because you'll only regret it if you look back and remember that you were crying when you could have been savouring every moment with him," said Luna quietly.
"You're right," sniffed Hermione, and pulled Luna in for a hug. After a while they broke apart and Hermione asked-
"What did you see behind the veil Luna? You weren't with Harry…but you knew."
"I met my mother," said Luna, her eyes shining and her face bright with joy.
"What did she tell you?" asked Hermione softly.
"That there's always a way, that there is always hope even when it seems like all hope is lost. To trust in my heart and not to let anyone dissuade me even if there isn't a shred of proof. She told me to believe in myself Hermione, and listen to my heart because it will never steer you wrong even when your head is telling you to do something else," chuckled Luna fondly.
"I'm scared Luna. I can pretend that I'm not, but I'm absolutely terrified," whispered Hermione.
"This was meant to be Hermione. Your baby was meant to be; sometimes things happen that shouldn't but it turns out for the greater good. You bare that in mind. Now wash your face, brush your hair and get downstairs before Harry gets back from his ride with Norbert," replied Luna briskly.
"Norbert?!" cried Hermione "he's riding a dragon? Why do I have to be ready before he gets back anyway?"
"Always questions with you. Yes he's riding Norbert, and from the looks of it he won't be eating for a while. As for being ready…we're all going out when he gets back," said Luna casually.
"Where?" asked Hermione suspiciously.
"We're going with Mad Eye to Bucharest so we can meet with a vampire. He should be able to give us some information on the whereabouts of the Transylvanian vampires. We need to know exactly what we're up against in the final battle, and how many. Besides there's so many beautiful places to see. Peles Castle in wonderful, and a lovely place to get married I hear. Not to mention the infamous Bran castle. But the place we're going to is called Vlad the Impaler's house." replied Luna absentmindedly.
"Wait a minute. Vlad the Impaler? That's Dracula's house! You have got to be kidding! You are all completely insane! This was Mad Eyes idea wasn't it?!" exclaimed Hermione.
"Sort of. But that's not the point," said Luna "We're meeting a vampire, not Dracula. It's hard to see him these days after all the media attention his castle and house has received. But where else do you think vampires live in Romania? In a pub in the city centre? We have to get into their area if we want to talk to one of them,"
"Well, at least I'll have plenty of stories for the baby when it's older," said Hermione grudgingly.
"That's the spirit. Now get a move on with that face and hair. Ooh, and don't forget an over night bag," added Luna hastily.
"But we're just meeting one vampire," said Hermione warily.
"Yes I do know the plan," replied Luna "but we may as well stay the night. Like I said, it's supposed to be a wonderful city." With that she walked out of the door and left Hermione to get ready. Hermione watched the door closed a breathed a heavy sigh. As strange as it sounded in her mind, Luna was right. There was no point moping around; her sitting in her room and crying would accomplish nothing. But she did feel better and was glad to have spent the afternoon getting a lot of miserable feelings out of her system. Her face look determined as she walked briskly to the bathroom. She would find a way out of this no matter what Harry had been told. There had to be another way, she knew there just had to be.
Waiting outside the door were Ron, Susan and Neville.
"You can be quite pushy Luna, had anyone ever told you that?" teased Susan.
"Yes well, might as well have some fun. Lord knows we need some with the pressure we're under." replied Luna with a beaming smile.
"Too right!" said Ron "What's muggle beer like anyway? Any good?"
"Maybe we should be concentrating on the vampire meeting rather than the beer," said Neville, which earned him a shocked look from Ron. Shouts from Charlie, Mad Eye, John and a few other men came from downstairs. The watched in amusement as Harry walked gingerly up the stairs to pack his bags for the meeting with a vampire. He was really starting to worry if he would ever have a normal day again.