It was four am and Harry was standing in the shower wishing he could sleep. 'That's what guilt does.' he thought to himself bitterly. He felt the hot water run over him and felt mildly relaxed. Last night when he had been unable to sleep he had tried closing off his mind several times. It worked relatively well in blocking out thoughts of Hermione. He stood in the shower and imagined putting brick walls around his brain, layer upon layer so nothing could get through. He felt pleased with himself as the walls started to go up easier than they had during the night. 'Not brilliant,' he thought 'but with practice it'll get better.' He thought about Snape's snide comments toward him during his occulumency lessons. He was going to make him sorry the next time they crossed paths. He began to wonder how he could practice legilimens. He needed to work with someone. Hermione would be the smart option because she had also been practicing occulumency. The thought of having to spend more time alone with Hermione scared him to death. He didn't know if he could control himself. 'Maybe I'm possessed?' he thought to himself. He needed to gain control of this situation before things got out of hand.
After showering Harry made his way downstairs and found the note from Professor McGonagall. He felt nauseous at the thought of returning to Hogwarts. So much had changed. He sat there for a while thinking about school, and realised that an hour had gone by. He got up and packed everything he would need for his return to the school, and then retreated to the study to practice some new spells.
After a few hours he heard a bang on the door. He headed towards it, praying it wasn't Hermione. He knew he couldn't face her yet after the way he had acted last night. He opened the door and saw Ron standing in his Pyjamas. He felt a stab of guilt and dreaded what Ron had come to say 'Oh God,' he thought to himself 'he knows!'
"Alright," said Ron cheerfully "Uh, is it ok if I come in?" Harry wondered why he had such an odd look on his face, but then realised that he was standing and staring at him as if preparing for a fight. He sighed in relief and moved aside to let him in. He closed the door and quickly put a seal on it. They sat down the cushions on the floor, in contented silence. Eventually Ron decided to break it.
"So," he said, "What have you been working on in here?"
"I've been studying some spells that might help us to get rid of the evil in the Horcruxes," he replied "Plus some other ones I found."
"Like what?" said Ron excitedly.
"Well," said Harry, "there's this spell that can make you disappear. Not permanently mind you, just for a bit so that you can change positions or something. I remembered Dumbledore using it at the Ministry one time and looked it up"
"Wicked!" said Ron, "Show me!"
Harry stood in front of Ron and concentrated. He thought of the word 'defluo' and disappeared before Ron's eyes. Ron stood up with an amazed look on his face.
"Wow Harry!" he exclaimed, "You have to teach me that one! Do you have any idea what I could do to Fred and George? This will be fan-bloody-tastic…Harry?" Harry had snuck up right behind Ron and let the spell go.
"Sure Ron, anything you want" he said quietly in Ron's ear, grinning.
"ARGHH!!!" shouted Ron "Don't sneak up on me like that!" Harry burst out laughing at the look on Ron's face, and it was a good five minutes before they could continue a normal conversation.
"So," said Ron after finally containing himself "Care to share any other new spells?"
"Well, most of them I've been studying are to help destroy the Horcrux. So I've got this one that destroys the evil called 'deletum' and one that purifies the object or area afterwards called 'defaeco'. I really hope they work though; there isn't really anything you can practice on. I tried some evil books in here, but they're pretty wussy." Harry explained
"Yeah," agreed Ron, "I really hope they work too…or we're buggered! What we need to do is learn some really good jinxes to get old Snake-face."
"Yeah I know. I have this one called 'Suffoco'. It's supposed to choke people. You can control it though, not like the unforgivable curses," said Harry.
"What, you mean you could choke a little bit to piss someone off, and if they piss you off you can kill 'em?" asked Ron.
"Basically," said Harry with a grin. "When we get to Hogwarts we should practice some more. I bet the restricted section has a bunch of cool spells in it." Ron readily agreed to this proposition, as long as they could find some more prank jinxes.
"Hey Ron, would you help me practice legilimens? " asked Harry. Ron looked slightly nervous at this prospect.
"It's ok, I'm really crap at it. You can just think of something, NOT FOOD, and I'll try to see what it is you're thinking about." said Harry.
"Well…ok." agreed Ron "But because I'm being your guinea pig for the morning, you get to make lunch. I hate cooking…"
They spent the rest of the morning in silence except for Harry occasionally calling out "Turning Fred's hair pink" or "Percy covered in painful boils" By the time Harry had to leave the study to make lunch; he was pleased with his progress. Ron was simply amazed by it.
"I can't believe you got everyone of them Harry!" he said excitedly "That'll show Snape!" He sat down at the dining room table as Harry made his way into the kitchen. He heard a voice in the dining room that made his stomach flip over.
"Got every one of what Ron?" asked Hermione. Harry was suddenly seething inside. How could she act so nicely to him after last night? Did she still have feelings for Ron after kissing him like that? He thought of her kissing Ron the way she had kissed him last night. His anger was bubbling up quickly and he knew he had to escape. He could hear Ron explaining the morning's events to Hermione, which he tried to block out. He tried to calm himself down and listen to reason. 'You're acting nice to Ron too," he thought 'you stabbed him in the back just as much as she did.' He made lunch quickly and set it on the table. He mumbled something about needing to read some more and took his sandwich to the garden.
He was thankful for the fresh air outside. He sat at the bottom on the garden and ate his sandwich whilst looking at the butterflies fly around the garden. He started to feel at peace and closed his eyes. He wasn't lying out there too long before he felt someone sit next to him. He tensed up as he realised who it was.
"Hermione," he said, without opening his eyes.
"Hello Harry," she said "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about last night. I don't want you thinking I'm some sort of…tart. Ron and I aren't going out. He wants to, but I don't. I've tried to tell him but…there never seems to be a good enough time when I know he won't start shouting." her voice trailed off, and she shrugged not knowing what to say next.
"I won't do anything to hurt Ron. I took advantage of you last night and…" Harry began to explain but Hermione's interrupted, her voice cold and angry.
"Don't you try and pull that on me Potter," she said "Do you think if I hadn't wanted you to kiss me last night that I would have let you? What do you take me for? Do you think I'm an absolute idiot?!"
"You…wanted to kiss me?" asked Harry, momentarily forgetting himself. "You know something Hermione. I don't know what's going on between you and me. But what I do know is that Ron is my best mate. Nothing is going to wreck that, not even you. We need to go back to normal and pretend this didn't happen. For his sake"
"Harry… I love Ron too. He's my best friend as well as yours. I'm sorry that this has upset you so much. If it's what you want then we'll forget it ever happened," she said stonily. She stood up and walked back into the house without a backwards glance. Harry felt something within him shatter at the sight of her so despondent. He sat there for a while longer thinking about her. The Hermione he and Ron had rescued from the troll in their first year. The Hermione who had been petrified by the basilisk in their second year. He replayed the hug they had shared back then and wondered at its innocence. The Hermione who had been so worried about him in their third year and had rescued Buckbeak and Sirius with him. The Hermione in their fourth year who had stopped Rita Skeeter from spreading lies about Harry. The Hermione in their fifth year, who came to the ministry to fight with him even though she believed he was mistaken. Hermione last year, how she had fought the death eaters and knew that he wouldn't be returning to Hogwart's almost as if she had read his mind. He replayed her words in his head 'do you think if I hadn't wanted you to kiss me last night that I would have let you?' and allowed a small smile to cross his face… She had wanted to kiss him, she liked him the way he liked her. He was a little nervous at this prospect, but it was comforting to know that she felt the same way. His smile grew wider and wider as he stared up at the clouds and marvelled at their beauty.
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The air was still and silent outside the gates of Hogwarts. Ron, Hermione and Harry were all crouched uncomfortably underneath the invisibility cloak waiting for the approach of Professor McGonagall.
"Can we get out of this bloody thing now?" moaned Ron "It's not that fun when there's three of us cramped in here." Harry knew that Hermione would say that it was too dangerous to be out here in the open, but Harry couldn't stand being this close to her anymore. He could smell the light scent of her hair; it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
"I'm with you mate," Harry agreed "Way too hot in here." Without waiting for Hermione's response he whipped the cloak off of them. Ron looked up at the sky at stretched comically. Hermione looked at Harry with narrowed eyes.
"Honestly Harry," she scolded, "You shouldn't have done that, who knows who could have been watching the gates!" Harry sighed and stretched a little.
"I wonder what's taking so long," complained Ron "It's getting a bit chilly out here." Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Ron, Professor McGonagall is getting older, not to mention everything she's been though the past few years. I'm sure you can wait a few more minutes." A growl filled the air and Harry began to laugh.
"Should have thought you'd be thinking with your stomach Ron," Harry laughed. Ron started laughing too, but then stopped looking confused.
"Uh, that actually wasn't me Harry," said Ron, then looked at Hermione and started laughing. "Honestly Hermione! That kind of stuff isn't lady like!" Harry and Ron both began laughing hysterically until a fierce growl cut through their laughter… They all stopped quickly, Ron with a look of comic terror splashed across his face. Harry looked around quickly and noticed that it was unnaturally silent all of a sudden. The usual buzz from the surrounding forest had stopped, even the wind seemed to have stilled in fear. He spotted a pair of red eyes from a bush 200m away from the gate. He was about to say something when a deafening roar filled the air and the red eyes began speeding towards him…
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