A/N: The response to the last chapter was terrific. It generated the maximum number of reviews. Thank you everyone for that. That forced me into getting this chapter up quickly. I couldn't keep you people waiting again. That wouldn't be fair. Please keep that up in this chapter though it is not a cliffie. I've noticed that the number of reviews go up drastically if the chapter is a cliffie.
Lot of you felt Harry was out of character in the last chapter. I agree with that but he does have a point. He provides his explanation in this chapter. You also meet many other characters who express their opinion on the latest bit of drama. As the chapter title suggests, this one is full of conversations. Happy reading!
Chapter Twenty-One: Plenty of Talks
"But you said on the phone that you were okay," said Harry confused.
"I am alright but I didn't get an abortion. I had a talk to Dr. Bones and took the decision. She thinks I did the right thing," replied Hermione. She was expecting Harry to lose his temper. He did.
"What the hell do you think you are doing? We took this decision mutually. We agreed it was for the best. Why did you have to back out at the last moment? Did the Doctor give you some shitty moral advice? Damn! We have to go through it again! What a day!" shouted Harry.
"You're wrong Harry. We don't have to go through it again. I'm not killing my childr… child. Our child. You were also wrong about this being a mutual decision. I never had a say. You decided it unilaterally. Thank goodness I realized my mistake in time," said Hermione calmly. Harry held his head with his hands.
"I'm going to go mad! Okay I think I rushed things a bit but don't say it was my decision. I asked you if had a better idea and you kept quiet. That showed you were okay with what I said," said Harry.
"At that moment I couldn't think of anything. So I was forced to agree with you. I was apprehensive about it throughout and after I spoke to Dr. Bones I took the final decision. There is no way I'm going through with an abortion," replied Hermione.
"So what do you propose we do? Perhaps you have it planned out," asked Harry trying to be reasonable.
"Whatever it is we are going to have this baby. We may have to sacrifice everything but we cannot kill it," said Hermione.
"That's hardly a solution Hermione. You say you are willing to sacrifice all. Let me give you an idea. Both of us have a couple of years to complete our education. We've put in so much hard work over the past year and a half. If we have the baby, one or both of us will have to stop our courses. All our work would be in vain. You are the brightest witch of our age. Would you accept something like that?" said Harry.
"Many people face this problem. We didn't bargain for this. But let's not make another mistake to cover what happened. I can take a year off and rejoin where I left. Come on Harry. I know you aren't this heartless!" urged Hermione.
"I'm too tired after such a long day. My mind isn't working properly. Please let's continue this discussion tomorrow. A good night's rest can do wonders," pleaded Harry. Hermione agreed. She took it as a positive sign.
While Harry's idea had seemed a good one it turned out to be a total flop. With the state in which their minds were, neither of them got a minute's sleep. Throughout the night they kept twisting and turning on the bed. They didn't say anything to each other despite knowing the other was wide awake. Hermione once thought about going to another room and trying to sleep but was too lazy to get up. Finally at five in the morning both of them got up. They had dark circles under their eyes. After a quick breakfast they resumed their talk.
"So you think you can leave your course midway. Though that is quite unfeasible let's assume you get permission to do that. As you know our financial situation is still not fully stable. Whatever you got from writing a few reports, you won't get. How can we sustain a baby? I don't want to be a failure as a parent. I want to be the best father to my child and I hate to say that at the moment I don't have the recourses to be one. Neither time nor the desired amount of money. How would you feel if our child hated us?" reasoned Harry. Hermione's flicker of hope faded. She was desperately wishing Harry would agree to have the child.
"We've faced far more difficult problems before. We've overcome them. There is no reason why we can't overcome this. As for the child, it is the love you have for him or her which will matter the most. Not what you can give him and what you can't. Like everything else we can fight our way through this," replied Hermione.
"Hermione I've patiently explained everything to you. I just don't understand why you are being so stubborn. Please see it from my point of view. This could easily turn into a major problem from which there will be no way back," said Harry.
"I've heard everything. I've told you I'm not getting an abortion. I could ask you the same thing. Why are you being so stubborn? Do you have a problem with marriage" asked Hermione. Harry sighed.
"Hermione you surprise me! You are forgetting I gave you a promise ring less than ten days back. That is basically an unofficial engagement. I can get married to you tomorrow if you want. Marriage will not have much effect on the life we are living. Of course we'll be officially together for the rest of our life. On the other hand a child will change our life drastically. I've already told you about the implications," replied Harry.
"I knew that would be your answer. Sorry for doubting you on that. But we still haven't solved our problem. Harry you always said you wanted to have a family - a large family. Then why this sudden change? I'd expected you to be shocked initially but eventually I thought you'd be happy," said Hermione.
"I meant every word I said. I do want a large family. I want it with you. As you know I've never really had a family to speak of. Don't think that it was easy for me to suggest abortion. After you went up to get ready I nearly cried. But I realized that it was the only way. Please understand me Hermione," pleaded Harry.
"So you are hell bent about the abortion," said Hermione.
"It's the only way," said Harry.
"Are you sure you mean that?" asked Hermione.
"Yes," replied Harry shortly hoping that Hermione would understand. Hermione got up.
"Then we should proceed in our own way because there is no way I'm killing my child," said Hermione and walked away. Harry followed her.
"What's the meaning of 'in our own way'? We haven't completed our discussion," said Hermione.
"There is nothing more to discuss. Neither of us is going to relent. Our paths are different, at least till the point one of us gives in. Since the decision to abort the baby is entirely mine, I've decided to keep it," replied Hermione. She started taking out her clothes from the cupboard. Harry stared at her in disbelief.
"Don't say you are leaving," he said in a trembling voice.
"I'm not. But I don't think we can stay in the same room while we feel so differently about such a sensitive matter. I'm moving to the guestroom," said Hermione. Harry watched her helplessly. He wanted to stop her but couldn't. She took her things and walked out of the room.
Harry stared blankly after her. Was this really happening? Why was Hermione acting like this? He debated on making one final attempt to convince her but knew that it was no use. He needed to discuss things with someone. He apparated to Ron and Luna's new flat.
"Well this is a surprise. We didn't think you'd find time to be with us. Hermione has you under a spell all the time," said Luna welcoming him. When she saw his face he immediately knew something was wrong. Harry told the whole story to Ron and Luna. They listened in amazement. When he came to the part about the abortion Luna stopped him.
"Harry why in the world did you suggest that?" she asked.
"Let him complete what he's saying," said Ron. Luna looked indignant but didn't object. She let Harry continue. Harry told them his reasons for the decision he had taken. He concluded with Hermione's stubbornness and her current stand.
"I understand your point…" started Ron but got interrupted by Luna.
"What do you mean Ron? Are you saying that you wouldn't support me if I were to get pregnant?" asked Luna enraged.
"Luna, you have this very bad habit of not letting people finish what they are trying to say! Let me finish! I was saying that while I understand Harry's apprehensions, I would not even think of an abortion. If you were to get pregnant I would stand by you at each and every step," finished Ron. He looked angrily towards Luna.
"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. I should have known that," said Luna apologetically. Harry watched the entire scene in front of him.
"I feel pained that you feel that I'm not supporting Hermione. She means everything to me. All I did was to suggest what I felt was the best solution. If I didn't want to support her why would I come here?" asked Harry in a soft voice.
"We didn't mean that but come on Harry! Abortion is the way adopted by people who sleep with a different person everyday. Not by a couple who've lived together for a year and a half," said Luna. Harry turned to Ron.
"What would you do if Luna got pregnant?" he asked.
"First of all we'd get married. I'm sure that's not a problem for you. Our jobs are such that we could apply for leave easily. Luna is a journalist in her father's newspaper. So she wouldn't have any problem. I'm a private businessman, so I can easily leave the work to some of the others if I'm needed at home. Unlike you and Hermione we are no longer students. I guess that is an advantage in such a situation," replied Ron.
"That's exactly it! I and Hermione don't have that privilege. All our work of the past year and a half would be wasted if we were to take leave," said Harry exasperated.
"Whatever the case is Harry, abortion is definitely not on. We can only tell you what we feel. The final decision lies with you and Hermione," said Luna. Harry was getting very drowsy due to his lack of sleep.
"Do you think I could crash in here? Neither of us slept a minute last night. I don't feel like going home at the moment," said Harry. Luna showed him the way to the guestroom. Harry slept soundly due to his extreme weariness. He slept till late evening. When he woke up he came back to reality. He still didn't know what to do. Ron asked him to stay over for supper. He agreed.
"Ron, what would be your plan of action if you were in exactly my position? Like in job, financial situation etc." asked Harry still wanting to make Ron see his way.
"If you want to work through anything it can be done. Talk to the head of the auror department. Tell him your problem. See what he suggests. I don't think your financial situation is as bad as you make it out to be but if it is take a loan. Don't let pride get in your way. I know you too well. Deep down you want to experience fatherhood," replied Ron.
"Of course I want to. If only our logistics were better," said Harry. Despite all talks Harry was unable to decide anything. When he reached home Hermione was already asleep. That was a slight relief to him because he didn't know how to act around her.
Hermione had spent the previous day deciding what was to be done next. Though Harry had not left any note she knew he would have gone to Ron's. When she woke up in the morning she felt restless. Harry was still sleeping. She quickly had some breakfast. She headed to the Burrow to have a talk with Ginny. As she entered Ginny's room she saw that Neville was with her.
"Oops, I'm sorry to disturb," said Hermione. Thankfully the two of them weren't snogging.
"I was expecting you. Ron told me all that has happened. I guess you want to talk. I hope Neville being here is okay," said Ginny. Hermione nodded.
"Since you know everything, do you think I'm doing the right thing?" asked Hermione.
"I can say that without doubt. In fact I'm still in shock over what Harry suggested. How come you had agreed to it initially?" said Ginny.
"I didn't think about it. Once Dr. Bones showed me the visuals and told me the details, there was no way I could go through it," replied Hermione.
"Harry's suggesting an abortion is very uncharacteristic of him. I always thought he wanted to have a family. I don't understand why he is bringing in this rubbish about logistics," added Neville.
"He does have a point but killing the child is certainly not the solution to that," said Hermione.
"If I and Ginny were in the same position, I'd live on the streets but have the baby. I'd sacrifice everything to keep Ginny and the baby safe," said Neville angrily. Ginny looked at him gratefully.
"Thanks Neville. I know you would. My feeling is Harry will come to his senses soon enough. This was a shock to him and he may have got scared. He'll get used to it with time. The Harry I know would never desert Hermione," said Ginny.
"He's not deserted me Ginny. We just haven't reached an acceptable solution yet," said Hermione quickly. Despite what had happened she didn't want the others to think badly of Harry.
"Don't worry! Things will be okay," said Ginny in a hopeful voice. Hermione spent the day at the Burrow not wanting to face Harry yet. They would be getting back to university and training the next day. Perhaps that would help Harry to change his attitude. She deliberately timed her reaching home to make sure Harry would be in bed.
The next few days passed. Harry and Hermione were living in the same house but spoke very rarely. Both busied themselves with work to keep their mind off these affairs. It wasn't working. They missed each other terribly. Especially while going to bed in the nights. Their time at home was spent in a very lonely manner. They wanted to talk but were afraid the other wouldn't want to. They had never been so awkward around each other. Hermione had another worry. She hadn't told her parents about the pregnancy. Soon she would start showing. She certainly couldn't tell them without Harry by her side. She expected them to be angry to start with but like always they'd support her.
However during the weekend they had to be together. They had managed to avoid each other on Saturday but on Sunday both of them needed to stay at home as Bill and Fleur were coming for a visit. They had a one year old daughter named Celina. Harry welcomed them at the door.
"Hello, so nice to have you here," he said.
"Long time, no see Harry," said Bill, coming in. Fleur who was carrying Celina followed. Harry stared at her in awe.
"My word! She's grown up so much," he exclaimed. Hermione came into the room and her reaction was similar.
"Yes she has. It's been wonderful seeing her grow through this year. I remember she used to be tiny. Have a look at her now!" said Fleur happily. This time Harry and Hermione turned to Fleur in amazement.
"What's happened to your accent?" asked Hermione.
"I've done well, haven't I? I've been in England for a few years now. Bill has taught me well," replied Fleur. "As I was saying, it's been a great experience to see Celina grow up. Initially it was tiring but later I understood what a pleasure it is. Of course Bill comes home late, so he gets none of it," said Fleur.
"Duty calls! But don't say I don't get any of it. When I come home all tired and she wraps her palm around my finger, I feel all the tiredness ebbing away. It feels truly great," said Bill. Harry wondered if Bill and Fleur were deliberately talking about Celina in front of them. He tried to change the subject.
"So any of you following Quidditch?" he asked.
"No, don't have time for that. I guess the Canons have finally started winning a few. Ron must be happy," replied Bill. Fleur sat by Hermione.
"Look at these photos of Celina. This one is just after birth," she said to Hermione. Hermione kept looking at the photos as Fleur explained.
"This is when she sat up for the first time"
"This is her first smile"
"This one is at Ginny's birthday. Proud aunt she is. Look at her holding the tiny one"
"Finally this is just the three of us. One happy family," she finished. Hermione kept staring at the last photo for a long time.
"Excuse me," she said getting up. Fleur knew how Hermione would be feeling at the moment. She followed her. Bill took his chance and showed the photos to Harry. Harry too was quite moved at the affection Bill and Fleur had towards Celina.
"So how are you dealing with Hermione's pregnancy?" asked Bill at last.
"We still don't know how to deal with it. Hermione wants to keep the child but I can't imagine how we can do that," said Harry thoughtfully.
"There may be a few problems but the happiness you get out makes up more than enough. I wasn't exaggerating when I was talking about Celina. I'm just waiting for the day she calls me 'Daddy' or 'Dada' or anything else. That'll be the proudest moment of my life. Fleur feels the same way. It's too good for words," said Bill.
"What if I can't be a good father to my child? He or she'll hate me," said Harry.
"Initially you will make a few mistakes but you'll learn with time. Believe me. I'm experienced in this department. I don't regret a minute I spent with Celina. Whether it is changing her nappies or cleaning up a mess or putting her to sleep or listening to her crying, all have been special," said Bill. Fleur and Hermione returned. Hermione's eyes were visibly red. Bill, Fleur and Celina sat for a couple of hours before leaving.
Harry thought about all that Bill and Fleur had said. They seemed very happy parents. They loved Celina blindly. He wished he could have something like that. But he had his whole life to experience fatherhood. Bringing it on quickly could be a disaster. The debate continued in his head. On one hand Bill's words were ringing but one the other the fear of not being able to cope with the situation was stopping him. He wished there was someone to advice him on this matter. He missed his parents and Sirius at this point.
Hermione was feeling no better. Over the past few days she had been wondering if she should give in to Harry. But after her conversation with Fleur her resolve to keep the baby increased several folds. She wished Harry would be moved by what he saw with Bill and Fleur. Suddenly her mood changed to anger at Harry. Why was he putting her through this? She saw a photo of the Quidditch World Cup on the wall. The room she was staying in had been decorated according to Harry's choice. She forced the photo out of the wall and banged it to the floor.
Harry heard the noise and rushed upstairs. The sight of one of his favorite photo destroyed enraged him.
"What do you think you are doing?" he shouted.
"Since I'm living in this room, I should decide what has to be here," shouted back Hermione. Harry lost his temper.
"If you hate my presence so much, I'll just leave the house. Then you can enjoy all you want!" said Harry and started to walk towards the front door. Hermione tensed. Could he be leaving for good? That would be the nail in the coffin.
"When will you come back?" she asked running after him.
"I'll be late! Don't worry; you won't have to bear my presence. I'll make sure I return after you are asleep," he shouted back. He was walking aimlessly. Finally he decided to go to Neville's place. He didn't want to bother Ron and Luna again.
"Hi," said Neville coldly as Harry walked in.
"Can I talk to you," Harry asked.
"What's there to talk in this, Harry? You know what my answer will be. What you are doing with Hermione is very wrong," replied Neville.
"It's not just that," said Harry and explained about his latest row with Hermione. Neville's face was grim throughout.
"Have you two officially broken up," asked Neville.
"Are you mad? How can you say that! This is just a phase we need to get over. I want to make the correct decision. We don't talk very much but the feelings are most definitely in here and I'm sure Hermione feels the same way. I love her as much as before. Nothing can change that," said Harry.
"You two are living in the same house," commented Neville.
"That's what's keeping us together. The day one of us leaves the house for good; it'll be the end for us. I noticed the fear in Hermione's voice when I said I was leaving. I just can't decide what to do. The scales are still tilted towards abortion," said Harry.
"Then I have nothing to say to you," replied Neville.
"Why aren't any of you taking my side? I do have an important point," asked Harry.
"Harry you have to believe us. It's not often you are in such a minority. Especially amongst your friends. Can't you see that Hermione, Ron, Luna, Me, Ginny, Bill, Fleur and all the others feel the same way? Surely all of us aren't wrong," replied Neville.
"But you….Wait! How did you know about Bill and Fleur?" asked Harry. Neville turned red.
"Don't get mad. I and Ron asked them to go and have a talk with the two of you. We thought it'll help you to see the happiness parenthood brings," answered Neville.
"I'm not mad. I'm my own man and take my own decisions! However at the moment I'm terribly failing at that!" said Harry.