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Solace by Secret Lily
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Solace

Secret Lily

Solace

Chapter Three--One To Oblige

Having looked back on Michael's approach to her two years earlier, Lily had come to realize exactly what had drawn him to her. She had been patient, understanding, and better yet, easy to talk to. Although she hadn't known it at the time, Michael Crouch was an outcast. His family had deserted him the year before, leaving with him a considerable amount of gold and a shattered ego. He hadn't offered any explanation as to why they'd banished him from their home, but Lily could only assume.

Coincidentally, she was an outsider as well. Her parents were extremely supportive of all that she achieved, yet they didn't understand her in the least. They tried, dear Merlin did they try. Only Petunia, her horse faced older sister, seemed to pass judgment.

Lily had waited a year to tell Michael about her family. It wasn't that she didn't trust him or that she didn't think he'd understand. It was more of that fact that she wasn't sure how long he'd stick around. He was a year her senior, extremely attractive, and carried a pure, profound name. He was easily desirable. Yet, he stayed. Even after she had refused to give him what he wanted most, he had stayed.

Lily recalled the night she had told him about her sister vividly. She remembered him asking about her family, curious as to how she interacted with them. And she had told him. She had told him that her parents were two muggles who were extremely proud of her, despite them wishing she'd stayed in their world and become a doctor. She told him about the never-ending taunting she'd endured each and every summer since the age of eleven by her sister, Petunia. She had told him how those nights, those summer nights, the only comfort she'd found were the wet tears on her pillow.

For some strange, unapparent reason at the time, Michael had sympathized. He'd never been known to pass off as compassionate, but that night, he had opened himself up to her. He had broken down, his words filled with fear and layered with guilt.

They had been out by the lake, the moon gleaming wondrously overhead. Not one creature stirred, not even the wind rustled. They had spent hours upon hours sitting by that great body of water, talking of what grieved them the most.

And in that lonely hour, that hour of recovery, Michael had taken her. He had taken from her all that she'd attempted to keep. Yet, she had been willing. She had known the time was right and at that moment, all that she had wanted to do was relieve him of those heavy tears blossoming from his cerulean eyes.

Her first time had been just as she'd expected. Passionate, painful, and unforgettable. She had given him one thing that she'd treasured, one thing that had allowed her to maintain her pride, and now, she could never retrieve it back.

XXX

Lily began spending as much time with James as her schedule allowed. He was started to become a good acquaintance. She didn't dare think friend, knowing how problematic that might be.

Michael had never been fond of any friends Lily had held. They were inadequate, bothersome, annoying, and unwelcome. She'd once tried befriending a girl in her dorm, Ava Fiore, but Michael had grown extremely jealous. After a bruised collarbone and many painful words, Lily had reluctantly explained to Ava that she really couldn't spare time for friends, what with her ever-demanding studies.

Although Lily had never explained any of this to James, he seemed to understand. She had never even voiced how possessive and controlling Michael could be, but yet, James Potter seemed to know. And somehow, this gave Lily the slight inclination that perhaps the entire school knew about Michael.

She had never mentioned the fireworks to him, but he seemed to prefer it that way. As did she. She knew it was some secret held between just the two of them, which had basically initiated their trust in one another. She did trust James Potter, which she would have considered extremely unlikely a year before.

He just seemed to know and understand without her having to spell it out to him. The two of them talked of simple things, such as seasons, classes, childhood memories, and what-not. She had learned that James had grown up without any siblings, just as Michael had. It was strange for her to compare the two, seeing as they seemed like complete polar opposites at first glance.

It was a pleasant surprise for her to befriend someone she had misjudged her entire time at Hogwarts. He was full of new, refreshing ideas and he had this undeniable character. She was grateful to have someone to talk to, someone who would listen to Michael couldn't.

XXX

Gazing at her sore, bruised arms, Lily felt small tears trickle down her pale, smooth face. She had strolled out to the lake to meet Michael. He had kept her waiting two hours, two lonesome hours. He was never good about keeping promises.

She urged herself to go back to bed, to leave him hanging for once. Yet, something inside of her refused. She couldn't move. Even without his presence, he held a hold on her.

He'd kept her waiting more times than she could count. She could only imagine what he was doing when he wasn't in her presence. He was under the impression that she held no constraint. He was in control. He made the rules. And he was right. Lily couldn't even imagine what she would do if he betrayed her in some way. She'd caught wind of rumors and had to force herself to deny them.

The air was chilly, the sky clear and mesmerizing. She lost so many hours of precious sleep for him. She sacrificed so much for him; her social life, her academics, her dignity, and more importantly, her heart. There was only so much she could give.

After what felt like forever, she heard his footsteps stumbling down the castle steps. She couldn't complain, couldn't voice her disappointment in him. All she could do was hold him in her arms as he stumbled to sit down. He had been crying once more, a nearly empty bottle of the strongest fire whiskey in his hand. It seemed that whenever she saw him, he was either drunk or close to it.

He sat for some time, his eyes glazed and his hands running up and down her back as gently as he could manage. He did love her, she knew that. He had never been good with words, with control, or with respect.

"Where've you been?" she asked him softly, running her hands through his hair affectionately. She made to cover her black and blue arms, but not before he could see them himself. A scowl crossed his face and she wasn't sure whether he was disappointed in himself or her. He didn't answer her question, but folded his arms around her.

"Lily, I need you," he pleaded, his eyes wide in despair. "I need you now. Please."

And she obliged. Memories flashed through her mind quickly and abruptly. That night, that first night by the lake, replayed in her mind. He had been so vulnerable, so compassionate that night, and now, she saw it escalated even further. He drank his pain away. He resisted his own vulnerability by taking advantage of hers. Yet, she remained. She kissed him slowly, his rough hands coursing their way up and down her body eagerly. She had lost control. She had lost all that she had once prided. She was at his beck and call. She was completely and entirely his.

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