Disclaimer: I don't own any character! all belongs to J.K.Rowling
Summary: this is based on HBP spoiler! Will McGonagall, new headmistress re-open hogwarts?Will the ministrystill try they're best to defeat Voldemort in this war? Will Harry find the Horcruxes, destroy them and finally end the life of Voldemort, for once and for all?
Will Harry get over his fears and will get more romance into his life?
Chapter 1; At the Burrow
It was quite late at night and Harry was sitting on his bed at the Burrow. He was watching the chocolate frog cards, specifically watching one card in particular-Dumbledore's card. The look in his eyes was as cold as it had been on the day of Dumbledore's funeral. The memory of his death was carved into Harry's mind. Dumbledore's pleading voice, when he had begged Severus Snape to help him, had been burnt into Harry's heart.
"Why?" he asked quietly to no one particular.
Everyone he loved died, and the burden of the entire wizarding world's safety was on Harry's shoulders. Harry took his eyes off of the card he had been staring at for more than an hour, wishing and waiting to see Dumbledore one more time. He remembered his first day on Hogwarts Express, when he saw the same card for the first time. He remembered watching Dumbledore disappear from the card, but he always came back. After Dumbledore's death, he saw nothing more than an empty card every time he looked. Even that night at the Burrow, having just come back from Bill and Fleur's wedding, was no different. Still wearing his dressl robes, he sat on the bed, looking hopelessly down at that empty card, Dumbledore's death replaying over and over again in his head.
He couldn't help himself. He felt like he had failed all the students at Hogwarts, failed all of the wizarding world. If only Dumbledore hadn't put that jinx on him to keep him silent, the Headmaster would be alive. None of it would have ever happened. If only he would have listened to Harry's warning about Snape…
"Harry," came a soft voice at the door. Harry recognized it immediatly, but didn't turn around to look at her. He kept his eyes on the card in his hand.
"Mum wants to see you," she continued, and Harry, who still didn't dare to look in her eyes, simply nodded. He knew he had hurt her, he had hurt his best friend's sister, by ending their relationship, but he knew he couldn't go out with her again. He didn't want her to get hurt or worse- killed by Voldemort.
That night, when he had been alone in the bedroom, he began to think, and he had finally made up his mind. He had to leave; leave and not return until he had killed Voldemort. He didn't want to take Ron or Hermione with him because it was safer for them. Harry knew they wanted to come, but he also knew that they would abandon everything to help him. He couldn't let them sacrifice so much only because he was marked as an equal with Voldemort. They didn't have to suffer because of Harry's misery; no, Harry knew what he had to do. He knew he had to go, leave them behind and continue alone.No matter how many times they reassured him that they would always be at his side, Harry just couldn't do it; he couldn't separate them from their families.
Harry knew he owed that much at least to Mrs. Weasley and he knew how she would react if she found out that Ron wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts, if open, for his final year. And then there was Hermione, the smartest witch he knew. Harry couldn't let her give up on her studies. He would be ruining her life and he didn't want to be responsible that. Harry knew how much school meant for her, and he knew didn't deserve their devotion. He didn't deserve that his two very best friends were willing to give up on everything, on their lives, because of him. He wanted his friends to be happy, just like they deserved, and he wanted them to graduate from Hogwarts to have the future that they deserved. He wanted them to have a future together.
The thought of Ron and Hermione as a couple still disturbed him, but he didn't understand why. He guessed that it was only because they were his two best friends and if their relationship didn't work out, he would lose one or both of them. But now, when Harry left them, it wouldn't bother him, at least not as much as if he'd stayed. Maybe it was because he couldn't be there to play mediator in all of their fights, or perhaps it was because he was jealous of them. Jealous because they, Ron and Hermione, had a choice. Ron and Hermione could be together and to be happy, while Harry didn't know what waited for him in the near future. He couldn't have a girlfriend, couldn't go out with anyone, by the same fear that Voldemort will hurt her because of him. He was jealous because unlike them, he couldn't have a proper life, not until he had finished off Voldemort and maybe not even then. The final battle would most likely kill him, and he, Harry Potter, was not ready to die.
Harry heard muffed footsteps that went down the stairs and knew that Ginny had finally left the room. Ever since he had broken up with her, he couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes. He knew that in a way Ginny understood him, but that didn't mean that she wasn't hurt and Harry couldn't bear to look into her eyes and see the pain there.
With deep sigh, he stood up from the bed and looked at the locket what had fallen to the ground from where he held it on his lap. He bowed down and slowly picked it up, knowing that the locket in he held was the reason behind Dumbledore's weakness near the end. For a brief moment when he looked at it, he vividly remembered what had happened in the cave. How hard it was to see his Headmaster that weak, that helpless and it had all been for nothing. That wasn't the right locket, Dumbledore paid with his life all for nothing, just like Sirius had.
Harry put the locket and the card on the table next to his bed and made his way downstairs to meet Mrs. Weasley. She was in the kitchen, her back was turned to Harry and he saw her shoulders shaking a little. He could tell that she was crying, like she usually did. Bill and Fleur had just left a few hours ago and Harry guessed that Mrs. Weasley was crying for them. Yet again, he couldn't be sure of that. Lately, every time Mrs. Weasley looked at Harry, she burst to tears.
Harry knocked gently on the kitchen door, just to announce his presence. He wasn't ready to say anything yet. He hadn't talked much the few days he had been at the Burrow, but when he did speak, his voice was cold and shaky, full of pain and guilt.
"Oh Harry dear," said Mrs. Weasley as she wiped the tears from her face before facing him. "Weddings. They always make me cry. So beautiful... so beautiful," she said, trying to sound casual. Harry knew that she wasn't crying because of weddings, but he said nothing.
"They... er... They are beautiful," he responded with his usual cold voice and tried to smile. "Ginny, she said that-" he started, but was cut off by Mrs. Weasley.
"That's I wanted to talk to you about," she interrupted. "Why don't you sit down, while I make some tea?" she suggested and Harry, who was again looking down at his feet, nodded and made his way to the table.
It didn't take long for her to make tea, but to Harry, it felt like an eternity. He felt horrible, he didn't want to sound so cold, but he couldn't do anything about it no matter how much he tried. The dark cloud was still looming over him, making him feeling bad, making him sad and unable to crack a smile. Mrs. Weasley sat down opposite to Harry as soon as she had placed two mugs of tea on the table.
"Now Harry..." she started but fell into silence, almost afraid of Harry's reaction to what she wanted to say. Harry shifted nervously in his seat, knowing that whatever she wanted to discuss, wasn't going to be easy for her nor to him. "How are you, Harry?" she asked, and Harry knew she was trying to win some time to gather her courage to ask what she really wanted to ask. "We haven't talked much ever since-" she started and broke off.
Harry knew it was inevitable. This conversation had been coming since Dumbledore's death. "I'm... I'm fine Mrs. Weasley," he replied. What else could he say? Did she want him to tell her how much he missed Dumbledore, how angry he was and how he blamed himself for what happened? He couldn't say any of it, and Harry knew that she understood that as well, so he settled for staring at the tabletop, unable to meet her gaze.
"Harry, you know that you're like family to us, right?" Harry nodded his head slightly and stared at the mug in his hands, and his eyes fastened upon it with relief as she continued. "We want nothing more than for you to be happy and safe," the mug was white, with red letters written on it that read London, England. "Arthur and I want to know what you will be doing now, after the wedding. We would be glad if you stayed here, but only if you want to," she said, and when Harry looked at her from the corner of his eye, he saw that there was warm smile across her face
"Mrs. Weasley, I..." Harry started but didn't dare to look up. He read and re-read the letters on the mug he was holding. "It's very generous of you," he continued, but trailed off, not knowing what to say. How was he to tell her that he wouldn't be staying? How would he tell her that he was going away, running away alone? How would he tell her that he was trying to save all of their lives by doing so? "But I must return to Dursleys," he said. "I'll go back to Dursleys, just like..." he started again. "Just like Professor Dumbledore asked me to."
"Yes, Harry dear, I won't stop you. But you will come back here at the end of the summer, won't you?" she asked with hope in her eyes. Harry tried to keep his emotions from his face, trying to contain the intense feelings of guilt that he felt-both with regards to Dumbledore, and for the blow that he was about to deal.
He was quiet for several moments; he didn't have enough courage to say it. How could he? He was doing the right thing because he knew he couldn't stay at Burrow. Ginny was there, and he had caused her enough pain. Mr. And Mrs. Weasley were there, who had enough problems and worries even without Harry's presence. All of the Weasleys were in danger, and would be in far greater danger if he stayed there. He couldn't. He wouldn't.
"No," Harry mumbled with sigh. "I can't," he added hoping it would make her feel better.
"But why?" she asked as she began to sob again. "Is it because of Ron? Have you two been fighting? You don't seem to get along very well as of late," she said as she wiped her tears. Harry felt worse, if possible, than he felt before. It wasn't because of Ron, he wasn't fighting with Ron. He had somehow blocked his friends out, but he wasn't fighting with him or Hermione. Before he could say anything in response, Mrs. Weasley continued. "Or is it because of Ginny? She told me what happened," she said and Harry cut her off. He couldn't bear to hear her crying like that. Searching for reasons why Harry couldn't stay.
"I am not fighting with Ron. He's just well... busy and," he said and taking a deep breath before continuing. He was right. Ron had been busy, busy with Hermione. He felt a flash of jealousy hit him again. "And it's not because of Ginny either. I'm sorry for... I didn't mean to hurt her, but that's the only way I can be sure that Voldemort won't do anything to her. I... I'll think about it, I promise you that," he said, looking at her. He couldn't tell her the truth. But at least he could explain things in his goodbye letter. "I've got to go pack."
Mrs. Weasley looked at Harry and wiped some of her remaining tears. "Harry dear, you think about it and come back. You know you're safer here than anywhere else. I don't want to... come between you and Ginny, but I think you should tell her why you're leaving. She's been blaming herself all this time," she said and burst into tears again.
Harry looked down at Mrs. Weasley with concern and though, I may be safer here, but you wouldn't be. He knew why Ginny had been avoiding him, but he didn't know that she had been blaming herself. Harry knew he had to talk to Ginny before his return to Dursleys in the early morning, and he decided to do it before he changed his mind.
"May I..." Harry asked rather quietly and saw Mrs. Weasley nodding her head. He didn't wait any longer. He put down the mug, which was still full, and rushed out of the kitchen.
Harry waited in front of Ginny's room for a while before finally knocking. He wasn't sure if Ginny was there, or if she was even awake; it was, after all quite late.
"Come in," he heard muffed voice, and he did as he was told. He opened the door slowly and looked at Ginny, who was sitting on her bed. It was the first time he had looked directly into her eyes since Dumbledore's funeral. "Oh, it's you," she said quietly and turned to look some other direction.
"Ginny, I am sorry. I told you why I-" he started but Ginny didn't let him finish.
"I told you I don't care. You-Know-Who stopped you from loving me, but he didn't stop you from being close with Ron and Hermione," Ginny said angrily.
"Ginny, will you let me finish?" he pleaded quietly, and she nodded.
"I can't put you in anymore danger than you already are. Voldemort is after me, and I don't want anything to happen to you or anyone else because of it. That's why I..." Harry said and stopped. He saw Ginny gasping, but she remained silent and said nothing.
"Look, you shouldn't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. As a matter of fact, I was happy with you, but it's not that easy. Just don't blame your self, okay?" he asked and looked down.
"You... you want to leave, right? You wanted to leave and never come back," she rose from the bed. Harry was afraid to look at her, she was right, Ginny did understand him, and so he only nodded.
"I have to Ginny," He said as he saw Ginny reaching to him. Without any warning she wrapped her arms around him.
"Just be careful Harry," she whispered and Harry, suprised by her action, nodded and held her close to him.
"I will. I promise," he said and stroked her fiery hair.
They stayed like that for few moments. Harry kissed her to forehead and whispered, "Goodbye and take care, Ginny," before leaving her room. He left before seeing tears what started fall from Ginny's eyes. He left before he heard Ginny whispering quietly, "I love you."
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