Chapter 11; breaking up
Harry quickly cought up with Hermione. "Hello 'Mione."
"Harry. You came. You're coming to lessons, right? You were not thinking about skipping them, were you?" she asked worriedly
"No I won't skip them, I promised you that I would be coming to lessons and here I am. I did think of skipping them but I promised."
"Oh no, why?"
"Well.." Harry started as he scrached the back of his head. Hermione froze realizing the truth.
"You heard. You heard me fighting with Ron, didnt you?"
"well.. yes, But I swear I didn't do it intentionally. I was just walking to classes, and..." Harry started apologizing. "I'm sorry for that." he added and looked at Hermione who was now blushing scarlet.
"It's quite alright. I suppose." She said and started to walk again. "I can't believe how much of a git Ron could be sometimes."
"Well, he's a guy, try to understand. I'm sure he didn't meant anything bad. Actually it was quite rude of me to have asked you for this favor of not making out around me." Harry said looking down at his feet.
"No it wasn't Harry. Don't say that."
"It was."
"No. Besides Ron makes a huge deal over it. Dating someone isn't only about snogging around and he should know it. It's not your fault at all."
"But, you really didn't break up with him, did you?" Harry asked nervously.
"I don't know. I can't be with him if he keeps acting like that." She said truthfully.
"I'm sorry 'Mione."
"Harry, I already told you this isnt your fault. And I don't want to talk about this anymore." she said as she pushed open the classroom door.
When it was finally lunch time, Harry felt like he could eat a whole horse. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this hungry. Until lunch Harry hadn't spoken a word with Ron, he had barely seen him. He was quite nervous about seeing him in the Great Hall. He was still blaming himself for what had happened.
Harry and Hermione sat next to each another when they noticed Ron. He walked towards them and sat across from them. Harry, who was trying to be his normal self, gave him a small smile. "Hey mate, hows it going? I've been looking all over for you." Harry said sounding casual.
"I've been around." Ron said, looking down at his plate. "Look Harry, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have said what I said." He finally said with deep breath and looked at Harry, who was now smiling even more.
"It's alright." Harry said. "It's in the past now, i totally forgot about it." He lied. He didn't forget it, he knew he couldn't but it was best thing to say to Ron, to get him to cheer up.
"So everything is okay then? You're not mad?" Ron asked with mouth full.
"No, no I'm not."
"Good then. Oh and Hermione, could I talk to you later?" Ron asked as he turned to Hermione, who just nodded for the reply. Harry knew what Ron wanted to talk about and he was curious what Hermione would say. Will they make up or not. Some part of him wished they didn't and some part wished they did.
After lunch they has some time off. It was supposed to be potions, but since they're professor hadn't arrived yet, they were free. All three of them walked out of the great hall laughing. It seemed as normal as it could be, but few knew of the tension between them.
"Well I'll be off. I'm going to the common room, you can follow me if you want to." Harry said as left his friends alone.
On his way to the Head Students' common room, Harry met Ginny. He realized that this was the first time he had seen her alone and he didn't feel very good at that thought.
"Hey Harry" she said dreamingly and without warning, she throw her arms around him. Harry wanted to push her away, but couldn't, it would have been rude and would have hurt her and he couldn't do that.
"Hey" Harry said firmly. To his relief Ginny let go of him.
"How are you, haven't seen much of you lately." She started cheekily.
"Err, I'm fine Gin." Harry said uncertanly, she just nodded. There was an awkward silence between them, neither of them knew what to say next.
"Harry, I've been.... I've been thinking," she spoke first as she started to guide Harry into his commonroom.
"Oh yea, about what?" Harry asked, having a bad feeling about what she was going to say next.
"well, since you're back... erm, to school."
"I'm here only thanks to Hermione who convinced me to come here. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been here."
"Yes, but the fact is that you ARE here and you'll stay here."
"For a while yes,"
"Well, that's good, isn't it?" She said looking at him with a smiling face.
"Yea if you say so"
"Umm, I've been thinking that maybe-" Ginny started but Harry cut in, he really didn't have the mood for talking about it, right now.
"Look, Ginny, I'm tired, couldn't we talk some other day?" Harry asked as they stopped in front of the portrait leading to his commonroom.
"Oh.. well sure." Ginny said as she lowered her head and Harry felt horrible about himself. He knew Ginny was hurt by his sudden reaction and that she was dissapointed, he could tell that by hearing her voice. "well, see you soon then." She said and half-smiled before drifting off.
When Harry entered the room, it suddenly felt very cold and strange. He didn't know why. He looked back sadly at the portrait hole and wished that things could be a be different. Wished that he had never gone out with Ginny, so she wouldn't have felt the way she did right now. He knew what would ease her pain, but he couldn't. Getting back together with her meant that he would be miserble and that would make her miserble aswell. She'll get better. He thought.
With a deep sigh, he collapsed into an armchair and stared blankly at the fireplace. He knew Ron and Hermione somewhere togeather right now, talking and solving things between them. He knew he was supposed to feel happy for them, after all they were his best friends, but yet, he couldn't. He wasn't happy. He was, for the first time in his life jealous. Truly and utterly jealous of Ron.
As much as he wished and tried to deny it and ignore the fact, that he was falling for his best friend, he couldn't hide the truth from himself anymore. Hermione was everything to him. She was so different from the all the other girls he had met before. She and Ginny were too opposites and it was quite suprising how well they got along. Hermione was rational and mature, while Ginny just wasn't.
And realizing that Ginny had been with him mostly beacause he was the-boy-who-lived, made him feel even more sick. The thought of how blind he had been was driving him insane. Hermione was different from that. He knew that from the very first time she had met him. Yes, she was bossy, but thats who she is. But she never looked upon Harry differently. She wasthe only one who took him as Harry, just Harry. Even Ron, had seen Harry differently. Ron was always jealous of Harry. Jelous that he was rich and famous. He was jealous of lots of things.
But Hermione, she just wasn't. Harry remambered his fourth year when everyone turned they're back on him, everyone including Ron. Everyone except one bushy haired girl. It was Hermione who supported him, helped him study. She was the only one who had believed in him. She was the one who had stood next to him when he needed someone the most.
Even Ginny had turned her back on Harry at that time. Why did she do that? Why didn't she believe in him? Why did no one believe in him? Why did only Hermione believe in him?
Hundreds of questions popped up in his mind. Just questions, no answers. He walked up to his dormitory and took out his old photoalbum. He looked at every picture, trying to remember more and more details which he might have not seen at that time.
He saw a picture what was made during they're fifth year and the events came flooding back to him. He remembered the night when they had gone to the Ministry, Sirius had died that night. Ginny hadn't stoped him, Hermione did as if she knew something was wrong. As if she knew it was all a lie. A trap. But Harry hadn't listened to her, oh how he wished now that he had listened to Hermione, just that once and haddn't acted irrationally.
If he had listened to her, Sirius would have been alive now. He hated himself for that. And promised to listen to Hermione more often.
The image of the Hermione's body on the floor sent a cold shiver down his spine. He remembered perfectly what he had felt and thought at that moment. Time had seemed to stop as soon as he saw her falling down there. The steps he took to reach to her, seemed to take forever. Reaching to her, all he could think was how he needed her and how he wished that she wasn't dead. He was an easy target to any death eater at that moment, he was helpless, defenceless. He had known it but he didn't care. All he cared about was her. Everything else seemed to be unimportant. All other thoughts were forgotten, everyone else in that room was long forgotten until.... unti,l he had heard those words: "she's alive".
Hearing that 'she's alive' made him happy, happier than he ever was. And the anger, the anger inside of him was boiling and he wanted revenge on the one who had hurt her.... but he was too weak. And he was still worried. What if some death eater could find her and finish her off?
It all made sense now. It all was clear to him, but at that time he had been blind. Seemed like he had been walking in the dark.
He aked himself why, why did Hermione still stand by his side, even after that accident? Why hadn't she run off? Why did she so fiercly fight with him, just to help him.
Then his thoughts were brought back to Ginny. And Hermione's words shattered in his mind: "she got over you a long time ago." and then last year Ginny had said the exact opposite thing to that. Harry knew Hermione wouldn't lie to him, he believed her unconditionally, but then how could Ginny say another thing? Did Ginny lie to Hermione? Or did Ginny just use the change to be with him, be with the 'chosen one'? How did he believe her over Hermione?
He never found an answer to this. He also remembered how Ginny had pushed Hermione away from them. The sentence she had said to her last year.. "you only fool yourself.." thinking of it now made Harry's feeling even worse. THE very thought of it made him angry. How could Ginny be so rude with Hermione? Why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he stood up for Hermione? Then again he knew things had been different last year, everything was odd, everything was strange and everyone were acting like complete fools.
Like Hermione- she had never shown any signs of jealousy at all. Or perhaps Harry had never noticed it? "I have to stop this" he said in a whisper as he closed the album and looked at the covers of it. He knew he had to stop thinking this way. He had to concentrate on his mission, concentrate on what was waiting for him.
How hard can it be? He asked himself in his thoughts when he heard a muffed footsteps. He turned and looked up just to find Hermione there. "What do you have to stop?" She asked as she sat down next to him.
Harry felt a clomp in his throat. What could he tell her? He couldn't tell her the truth, that was for sure. "The war," he answered then and lucky for him, Hermione smiled and nodded. She believed him. Her eyes then gazed at the photoalbum.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Reminascing." Harry replied. "Everything was so easy back then." he said.
"yes it was." Hermione replied with a sigh. "Look, Ron's waiting for us downstairs. I thought that we should talk a bit more about the Horcruxes. Now that we already know where one is."
"Yea, you're right 'Mione, as always," Harry remarked and followed Hermione. He suddenly stopped while going down the stairs. Hermione, who couldn't hear his footsteps behind her, turned around and looked at Harry.
"What is it?" She asked.
"I was just wondering. I wanted to ask you one thing."
"Alright. Go ahead." She said gently looking up at him while crossing her arms.
"Umm.. I was wondering how things are going between the two of you? Did you make up?" Harry enquired nervously.
"yes we, umm.... Yes we did."
"Oh, well that's great then" Harry said dissapointedly.
"But not in that way," Hermione added quickly. "We decided to be just friends."
"Beacause.... beacause of me?" Harry asked carefully.
"No.. well yes. Sort of." Hermione admitted and Harry just nodded, looking down.
"I'm sorry 'Mione. I didn't wish for this."
"Harry," Hermione said, forcing Harry to meet her eyes. "You don't have to feel sorry," Hermione said gently.
"Alright then. I'll try." Harry said continuing to walk down.
Ron was sitting on the armchair where Harry had seated himself previously. He didn't look very cheerful and Harry knew why. "Hey" he said as he entered into the room, Ron just looked up but didn't say anything. Harry felt a bit bad, but he sat down.
"So." Hermione started and Harry remarked that she was the only one who was cheerful. "we know one thing, the locket." She started, taking out a piece of parchement and quill. "We know where it is." both boys just nodded. "So, all we have to do is contact Mundangus and get it back." She said it as if it was the easiest thing. "Do you agree." Hermione asked, even though she already knew what their answer would be.
"But it's not that easy. We have no idea where he could be and what he's done with the locket or the other things he stole from Grimmauld place." Harry said and glanced over at Ron, who was sitting still and looked numblessly at the fireplace.
"Well, that's why we have to get professor McGonagall to help us." Hermione added brightly.
"we can't go and tell her we need Mundungus beacause he stole the horcrux from Grimmauld." Harry disagreed
"Silly, of course not. But we can ask her about him and tell her that we have something important to do with Mundungus. She will probably tell us where we can find him or arrange some sort of a meeting with him."
"I don't know." Harry said thinking about what Hermione had just said.
"Well, do you have another plan? A better plan?" Hermione asked.
"No, but-"
"But what Harry? That's the only thing we can do right now. We have to try it."
Harry shrugged. "I suppose so." He said as he looked over at Ron. "what do you think Ron?" he asked
"What? Who me?"
"Yes you Ron. What do you think?"
"I agree with the two of you," he said motionlessly.
"Ron, did you even pay attention to what we were discussing?" Hermione asked in annoyance.
"not really," he admitted
"You're not helping Ron." Hermione continued.
"Suppose not. Look I'm going to bed now. See you in the morning." He said as he rose up and walked out of the room.
"What's wrong with him?" Harry asked though he had a feeling that he already knew the answer.
"He's just.. he'll get over it soon I guess. It's not the end of the world, now is it? He'll realize sooner or later that there was no other way." Hermione mumbled something avoiding Harry's eyes and his curious look. "Now come on. It's not late, we can catch up with the professor and ask her about Mundungus," she added as she straightened up and met Harry's eyes.
"Right now?" Harry asked suprisingly.
"Yes now. What did you expect? Look, haven't we wasted enough time already? All summer we have been avoided this. All summer we've done nothing. And now, now we can't afford to waste any more time. You know it better than I do, Harry. Time is the last thing we have."
"yes but-"
"But what?" Hermione said in annoyance. "well come on. I'm going, if you don't come with me, then fine, stay here. But I'm going and talking to the professor." Hermione said as she walked up to portrait hole.
"Alright, I'll come." Harry replied getting up. He looked at Hermione and started pondering as to why she was in such a hurry right now. Surely what she said couldn't be the real reason. It seemed to him as if she wanted to work and study and be busy, so that she wouldn't have any free time for her and her thoughts. Yet he wasn't sure, he may have only imagined it. Shrugging, he followed her out of the common room and towards professor McGonagall's office.