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Chapter 3: Broken
Lily felt like her heart was broken. It had been three days, and she hadn't seen or heard from James. It seemed he had really meant it when he said he never wanted to see her again. Lily had had such a wonderful time with him, and it was awful to think that she had hurt him so badly.
Not only that, but she had effectively been betrayed by her best friend. To Marlene's credit, she did seem to be genuinely sorry, but Lily simply wasn't ready to forgive her yet.
It was really quite depressing to think that just a few days ago she had been laughing and talking with Marlene about how pathetic Potter and his friends were, and now she was ignoring Marlene, and hoping that James would at least let her explain what really happened in Hogsmeade.
To make matters worse, the people who had witnessed the Hogsmeade scene had spread it around, so that now practically the entire school knew. It made it quite miserable for Lily to walk around school, with people laughing and whispering about her wherever she went.
Lily's thoughts were interrupted as Marlene came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Are you ok?" she asked timidly.
"Oh, just lovely," Lily spat sarcastically. "Absolutely fabulous."
"Look, I know you're angry-" she started slowly.
"Really? How ever could you tell?" Lily interrupted, turning and walking away, on her way to Potions class. She wasn't in any mood to deal with Marlene, but she just followed her.
"You know that I wasn't trying to be cruel, and I think you really need your best friend right now."
Lily turned to face her. "You know, you're right. I do need a best friend right now. If you find any likely candidates, let me know." She left Marlene gaping at her, and found an empty seat in the back of the Potions classroom.
Lily had never experienced a longer class. It was the first time she had seen James since their date, and he hadn't even glanced at her. Not even dirty looks or anything. The minutes seemed like hours as Lily kept looking up at the back of James' head. In Lily's opinion, he was taking the whole thing a bit hard. She didn't quite understand why he wouldn't just let her explain. It was frustrating for her, because she knew that all she had to do was tell him that she had had nothing to do with Marlene's prank. If he could just know that she wasn't in on it, maybe he would forgive her. Maybe they could be together…
But that was ridiculous. He was sitting in front of her, pretending as though she didn't exist, and she was thinking of dating him. Even that was scary. A week ago she wouldn't even have a friendly conversation with him, and now she wanted to be with him?
Finally the class was over, and Lily was relieved to get back to the common room. But once she got there, it turned out to be worse than being in class. James went immediately into his room, and Sirius, giving Lily plenty of dirty looks, followed him. Remus looked as if he might say something to her, but thought better of it, and followed after his friends, with Peter trailing behind him.
"This is completely ridiculous!" Lily shouted, making some first years in the corner jump. She got up, marched straight over to the boys' door, and pounded on it, not stopping until it opened a crack, and Sirius' head poked out.
"I'm sorry, was there something you wanted?" Sirius said calmly, glaring.
"I just wanted to talk to James," she replied defiantly.
"Well, I'm sorry, but he's not seeing anyone today. And he's not seeing you ever. So bye-bye then."
He made to close the door, but she stuck her foot in it. "Well, just tell him that I'm sorry for what happened, but he really needs to let me explain."
Sirius frowned. "Look, I'm not telling him anything, and if you know what's good for you, you'll stop trying to talk to him."
"I can't! I need to explain! He doesn't understand what happened!" she shouted, frustrated.
Sirius stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. "No, you don't understand. He was in love with you. He hasn't spent the last few years asking you out for a joke! It was because he loved you, and he genuinely wanted to be with you! And when you finally said yes, he was completely thrilled, only to get his heart broken. SO no, I will not let you speak to him, or tell him anything from you, because I think he'd be better off without you."
He turned and walked back into the room, slamming the door in Lily's face, and she was too shocked to stop him, or even to correct him, and tell him what had really happened. She just stood there, staring at the door, thinking about nothing but what Sirius had just told her.
Lily sighed. She had really messed things up this time.
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