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Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How? by Horcrux Seeker
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Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

Horcrux Seeker

A/N: So sorry for the delay, but life does intrude and the muses are usually on an off day. But here it is-the parties. Oh and from it's original 23 pages, it is now down to 19, due mainly to font size.

Thank you to all those who reviewed…I try to reply to all of you even if it's just a single liner-just wanted you to know how special your review was to me

Thanks to Twitch E.Ferret -my beta-she even had to bring this to work just to finish it! Such dedication.

Hope you all like it…Read Review and Enjoy

Disclaimer: don't own the characters-just using them for kicks…oh and I don't own the two scenes from two movies which quotes I borrowed and modified…(Let's see if you can spot them! ;P)

Chapter4

Hermione's throat was burning as she slammed the shot glass on the table, closing her eyes for a few seconds as the firewhiskey traveled down to her stomach, even though she had placed a charm on all her drinks-inconspicuously of course-to make it non-alcoholic, it still packed quite a punch. When she opened her eyes it took her a few to focus again, reaching for the next gift to be opened, this was a game that began when Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson brought out a case of firewhiskey. They had said that this sport had one simple rule-everyone was to take a shot every time Hermione would open a gift, they were now on their fourth bottle. The ladies were in the common room of the Head Students, the party was hosted by Ginny and Luna. Those privileged enough to be invited were a few prefects, all the seventh year Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls and the close personal friends of Hermione.

Hermione peeked inside the gift bag from Susan Bones as she squealed with glee, "At last a gift for me!" she exclaimed. She was about to pull the books out of the bag when she stopped abruptly, turning red again. She immediately let go of them and looked wide eyed to Susan.

"You have no idea what I had to go through to buy those!" Susan whispered as she too blushed. "First, I had to travel to muggle London, then I had to look for the proper spell to charm them, you do like them though, don't you?"

Hermione smiled, "Susan, I believe that you have finally discovered books that Harry would read on his own initiative!"

Ginny tried to peek in the gift bag, "What books?"

"Nothing!" both girls exclaimed.

This reaction just heightened the curiosity of the others in the room as a tug of war ensued between Ginny and Hermione for the gift bag.

"Has anyone ever told you that for such a small girl, you are freakishly strong?!" Hermione grunted as she let go.

"HA!" Ginny exclaimed victoriously as she held the gift bag. The other girls gathered around her as she poured its contents on the table before them. As the books tumbled out the girls gasped as the figures on the covers started to move then they started to giggle.

"Kama Sutra for the Brave Beginners; Sexed Up and Roaring to Go; Make Her Scream, Make Him Scream-A Guide to the Ultimate Orgasm!" Ginny laughingly read just some of the titles aloud.

"Well you didn't expect me to find them in Flourish and Blotts now did you?" Susan explained, "Plus can you believe the headlines on the Daily Prophet if they found out I bought books like these? `Niece of the Minister of Magic buying smut' Aunt Amelia would have my head!"

The girls started to flip through the pages, pointing at some of the pictures and laughing, "Oh this is so impossible…"

"What is?" Hermione asked as she downed another non-alcoholic firewhiskey shot.

"This," Lavender showed Hermione the moving pictures of the couple executing a seemingly unfeasible position, "This is not humanly possible!"

"Hmm…" Hermione's analytical mind started to kick in as she tilted the book from one angle to another, "Well…if Harry would be willing to dangle from a pole-but maybe a broom floating at an angle would be suffice."

Lavender stared slack jawed at Hermione, "You can't be serious?"

"And why not? Harry once said that I am quite nimble I'll have you know!" Hermione huffed.

"Wotcher Hermione, being with Harry must be some wild ride! With Remus you never can tell when his animal instinct can take over!" Tonks said as she placed her shot glass on the table, oblivious to the looks that some fifth and sixth year prefects gave her at what they found out about their DADA professor, as they whispered, "Eww!"

"Come now Hermione? We want details!" Pavarti asked.

"Well…"Hermione replied coyly.

"C'mon Herms," Lavender whined, "You will be the only bird to bed the infamous Harry Potter till the day he dies." Clutching her chest she dramatically added, "Pity, he's one of the Gryffindor boys who has been able to elude my clutches!"

"And for that I will be eternally grateful, Lav!" Hermione retorted with a laugh.

"Hermione, details my dear!" Ginny demanded, "Draco heard that Harry was one well hung man!"

"Wait, how could Malfoy say that?" Hermione asked suspiciously, "Has he been stealing peeks at my husband? Honestly Gin, you should be worried…"

"Hermione! The boys do shower together after quidditch you know!" Ginny retorted as she grew red "and I said he `heard' not saw!"

"Ronald is hung like a wyvern in heat…" Luna said dreamily.

All chatter stopped as the girls turned to Luna who seemed oblivious to the reaction her comment caused.

"Argh! Mental picture here, Luna." Ginny muttered looking ill.

"Wait we digress!" Padma exclaimed, "Hermione, it's not like we're asking for a blow by blow account…"

"Speak for yourself, I want every single detail!" Pavarti countered.

Hermione sighed as she gently folded the orange beaded lace teddy the Patil sisters gave her. So far she had received a few chemises and teddy lingerie, a bunch of crotchless panties, and a horde of edible underwear not to mention the few sexual devices that still made her blush just thinking about them.

"Ladies, I am not one to kiss and tell…" Hermione stated as the girls groaned. With a wicked smile she continued, "But I am also not one to shag and keep it a secret!"

The group roared with laughter and cheers as they immediately settled down to await the particulars.

"Let's just put it this way, Harry made me appreciate the larger things in life…"

As the Head Girl opened another gift which contained a black mesh cloth camisole that left little to the imagination, "Harry had better be getting gifts that will serve my purposes, because all the gifts you twits gave me will definitely serve his!"

"Larger things in life?" a seventh year Hufflepuff squeaked.

"Just how large are we talking about? I mean girth or length?" Ginny asked with a cocked brow.

"Shouldn't you have an idea Gin? You did go out with him last year." Lavender asked.

"I'll have you know that we did nothing more than snog!" Ginny snapped.

Hermione looked at the expectant faces on the girls, their eyes taking on a glassy glow as images of their Head Boy invaded their minds.

"Honestly ladies! It's not like I had a comparison!" Hermione retorted, "But I swear I was not walking right after our first night together! In fact I have not been in the right ever since!" then with a whisper she added, "Amazing he was even able to fit! In fact I thank all the gods in heaven for substantially blessing my husband in that department."

All the girls swooned as their imaginations went into high gear.

"So how did he propose?" Lavender asked as she held the left hand of Hermione and admired the rings on her third finger, "How you're able to lift this hand with that magnificent rock on I have no idea."

"Ah, well it isn't a very romantic story…"

"Aww, any story that involves you and Harry has got to be romantic!" exclaimed a Ravenclaw student.

Hermione was beaming before she started, "It was on the eve of my birthday actually, and we'd been a couple for a little more than three months by then."

"Wait that was eight months ago and we threw a party for you, why didn't we see the ring?" Luna asked.

"Who said that I wore it on my finger during the party? It was on a chain around my neck." Hermione replied, rolling her eyes before she continued "Harry and I just finished our nightly rounds, of course we left the Astronomy tower for last since after kicking out the other students we'd have the tower to ourselves!"

After the laughter died down, Padma said, "Well go on…"

"So there we were snogging each other senseless, then at midnight Dobby and Winky popped up and gave me three dozen white tulips-my favorite flowers by the way-after accepting them I turned around and there was Harry holding the most exquisite red rose…"

"Oh Harry, this is so lovely!" Hermione whispered as she sniffed the rose, the tulips lay at her side completely forgotten.

"Had Neville nip it for me from the green house-and before you say anything," Harry raised his hand, before Hermione could react "he didn't get in trouble."

Hermione smiled, "Come here Harry…" then she kissed him passionately.

They parted for breath and just stared at the stars lying in each other's arms on the charmed cushion floor of the tower. As Hermione admired the rose, she noticed a thin silver chain that was entwined around the long thorn less stem. Picking up the end she started to unwind it till she reached the flower itself, gently she pulled and from the petals popped up a ring. Hermione sat up examining the ring, unaware that Harry was watching her intently.

"Oh my…"she gasped, "Harry?" she asked dangling the ring in front of him.

Harry took the ring and slowly kneeled in front of her, "Mione, I guarantee there'll be tough times, especially with a screwed up, cockhead dark wizard at our heels and I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know in my heart that you're the only one for me."

Harry took a deep breath, as Hermione stared at him, "What I'm simply trying to say Hermione Jane Granger is…Willyoumarryme?"

"Sorry, I didn't get that?" Hermione replied trying miserably in suppressing her giggles.

Harry raised an eyebrow at her, but huskily said "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

After a pause which to Harry seemed like an eternity, Hermione whispered, "Yes Harry…" then with more conviction, "YES!"

Harry slipped the ring on her finger and Hermione tackled him as they laughed and snogged each other senseless…

"Oh wow…" Susan muttered.

"That's just beautiful…" Pavarti sniffed as she wiped away tears from the corner of her eyes.

"And you said that it wasn't romantic!" Tonks reprimanded.

"That's the dreamiest proposal I've ever heard!" Katie declared.

"Well, I didn't want to disappoint the lot. You may have expected Harry to have proposed with fireworks and magic spells spouting out of his wand at some out of this world place! But no…it was simple and honest, and I would have it no other way…" Hermione said with a shrug.

After some time of small chit chat, someone asked, "How could you and Harry have been married at the Ministry without anyone finding out?"

Hermione looked towards the prefect from Ravenclaw who had posed the question and shrugged, "Well, we just couldn't wait any longer-we did plan the wedding after the war but it was getting difficult for us to…um…let's say maintain a sense of proper behavior, one day we decided to just have a go at it and Minister Bones did owe Harry a favor, so we decided to collect, then we placed her under a Fidelius charm-which she by the way suggested."

"So Aunt Amelia presided over your wedding?" Susan asked quite shock at finding out this way.

Hermione nodded, "Of course she officiated the ceremony! How did you think the wedding went?"

"We thought you got a muggle wedding so no one in the wizarding world would find out." Hannah Abbott volunteered.

"Harry's philosophy was that the Death Eaters would never think of looking at such an obvious place," Hermione sighed "So we went for it-Gryffindor courage as one may say."

"So you just went for it…because of Harry's philosophy?" Ginny asked looking at Hermione skeptically, "If I didn't know better, it seems as if you're taking this submissive role as a wife all too seriously!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Submissive, me? Oh honestly!"

She looked at Angelina and thanked her for another set of lingerie, which turned colors depending on the `intensity of the moment' according to its label. "Just because I agree to his bursts of genuineness does not mean that I will walk a step behind him-Harry knows this and we are of equal standing in this marriage, and before the lot of you have your say, he is NOT whipped!"

The girls sniggered at her comment.

"Hermione, you and Harry are of sound mind…I mean I would expect this eloping business to be done by Ginny or Ron…" Tonks began only to be interrupted by Luna's giggles and Ginny's "Hey! I resent that!" and continued, "But you and Harry?"

Hermione felt all eyes on her, she sat back, closed her eyes, and felt the beginning of a smirk grow on her face. "If any of you would have told me when we were in first year that I would get married before I finished school I'd have said you were bloomin' mad!"

The girls laughed along with Hermione, she sighed as they all took a shot of firewhiskey (non-alcoholic for her again). Her eyes misted a bit as she looked at those gathered for a party they had thrown for her on such short notice. She knew that she was truly blessed to have found someone to love and who loved her back, and to still be surrounded by friends who probably had every right to be enraged at not being informed nor invited to an important milestone in her life. If she had been in their position she might not have been so forgiving.

She turned her head to Tonks and regarded all those present, her voice was thick with emotion and those in the room could hear the genuineness in the Head Girl's soprano voice. "Have you ever felt incomplete-like there was a missing part of you that you never even realized that you were missing it till you found someone who made you whole?" some of them nodded as some just stared at Hermione, enraptured by every word uttered. She continued as she met every single gaze and said in a firm yet tender voice, "I simply love him…I've lived my life trying to prove myself to everyone else especially when I came here to Hogwarts, I wanted so hard to excel in everything in school! But it took a troll and two blokes on a fateful Halloween night to show me that there was more to life than cleverness and books!" everyone laughed at this. "But it took Harry to make me comprehend that life is meaningless without someone to love and who loves you in return…If I was truly honest with myself I'd say that I fell in love with Harry that Halloween night…" sighing she continued as the room remained silent, "You may think it's silly but I love Harry so much that it hurts when I'm not around him-and when I'm with him, I can't breath because I feel like my heart's about to explode by his mere presence!"

The girls were quiet as they absorbed what Hermione just revealed, then Susan broke the silence and asked, "When did you fall for Harry?"

Everyone held their breath and stared at Hermione because her answer would be the key on who would win the bet…

"Well let's see…" Hermione concentrated, "That would be…"

Summer between their sixth and seventh year in a forest somewhere near Bristol two people were at a campsite as their companion was wandering in the woods…

"What have the two of you been on about again?"

Hermione ran her fingers through her tangled hair tugging and muttering to herself, "Nothing Harry…"

"Bollocks! Something happened and I want to know what!"

"Honestly Harry, nothing happened," Hermione stopped fiddling with her hair and sat dejectedly looking at the campfire before her, "Nothing happened." She whispered as a sob escaped her.

Harry immediately rushed to her and pulled her now bawling form into his arms, "Shh…Come now Mione, tell me what big bad Ron did…" he whispered in a soothing tone.

"Oh Harry…" Hermione pushed on his chest trying to escape, but Harry's arms though strong, tenderly held on, "Nothing happened, well something happened…but then nothing…I mean…" she started crying again.

"Mione, for the first time since I've had the privilege of knowing you, this has got to be the only time you made no sense at all…" Harry chided as he ran his hand up and down her back.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"First tell me what happened then I'll see if I could make that promise or not…"

"No Harry, promise me you won't get mad at Ron…" Hermione pleaded as Harry looked down at her face.

Sighing he nodded.

"Ron kissed me…"

Harry stiffened, "Why that bloody…"

Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist to keep Harry calm, "No! You promised! No it's not like that…Harry, I…nothing happened. I mean, yes we did kiss…but…well…"

Harry quietly remained seated flexing his hands, he felt like he wanted to hit something-like Ron's face for example. He kept an impassive expression as he turned to Hermione, "Well, what?"

"It's just-well after Ron kissed me he said that that confirmed it…"

"Confirmed what?"

Hermione moved away from Harry and wrapped her arms around herself as she evaded his stare, "Confirmed that I really am frigid…" she whispered.

Harry took a while to process what she said, he shook his head as if trying to clear it. "Ron called you frigid?" his voice dead calm.

Hermione looked at Harry and realized that he was about to go ballistic, "No Harry, it wasn't like that. Well I knew that Ron fancied me a bit since fourth year, then well we started to talk about our past…He talked about Lavender and I talked about Viktor, comparing notes if you please. It was so candid and it was the first time that Ron and I had a real conversation without me hexing him in the end…"

"So that gave him the right to call you frigid?" Harry was trying to keep his fury in check while he simultaneously started to formulate which curses he'd use on Ron.

Hermione was wringing her hands, she could feel that Harry was holding his anger by a very thin thread so she rushed in her explanation. "Well I told him that whenever Viktor and I kissed it was never as heated as what he described his snogging with Lav was. So I said that I didn't have the faintest idea whether it was Viktor or I who had a problem, then Ron suggested that we try an experiment to see who was at fault. Well after we kissed Ron said it felt like he was kissing Ginny, which wasn't a pretty picture to imagine, I told him that maybe he was doing it wrong…but he said that he used the same technique that he used on Lavender and she didn't seem to mind. Oh Harry," Hermione wailed as she placed her head in her hands, "What if I am frigid? Now wouldn't that be icing on the cake?" She bitterly laughed and continued to rant "An ugly, plain, frigid bookworm, never like the other girls!"

Harry looked at his best friend, taking in her blood shot eyes and face all puffy from crying, her hair tangled and a bit frizzier from the humidity. Even so, the only thing he could think of was how beautiful she was, "Great Potter! Good move falling for your best friend, here she is baring her soul to you and you get a hard on in the forest, in the middle of searching for the horcruxes!"

"Is it so bad?" Harry asked quietly.

Hermione stared at him like he lost his sanity, "Of course it's bad! I mean here I am trying to be like any normal girl trying to fit into the mold and I just found out that I will never have the capacity to love!" she sobbed, "What's wrong with me? I've always been a good girl, I followed all the rules, studied hard and kept on the straight and narrow and for what?"

Harry took her into his arms again and let her cry it out, when her whimpering died down. He cupped her face in his hands, and as her warm cocoa brown eyes stared into his he whispered, "There is certainly nothing wrong with you and there is nothing absolutely ugly nor plain about you. Yes, you may be a bookworm, but it makes you, you. Miss Hermione Jane Granger, you are the warmest most genuine caring person I know," He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and with his voice thick with emotion he continued, "My Mione…why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?"

Hermione gasped, looking into Harry's bright emerald eyes she saw the sincerity in what he just said and for the first time in her life she felt a warm sensation begin at the pit of her stomach and spread through her body. She then had a wonderful epiphany-she was completely and hopelessly in love with her best friend, Harry James Potter.

"Miss Granger, I believe that the conclusion that you reached with your previous experiment was gravely erroneous…care to have another go at it?" without waiting for a reply Harry lowered his head and their lips met.

What happened next will forever be etched into their memories. There was a rush of emotions that enveloped them and they could have sworn that their senses went into over drive as they became acutely aware of the other and as they pulled apart, a permanent connection was made.

Both of them were breathing heavily, though their kiss was chaste. Hermione stared at Harry as she raised her fingers to run over her lips, Harry gazed back not trusting himself to say anything and just waited for her to either slap him or hex him into oblivion.

"Uh…that was…um," Hermione started as she tried to gather her bearings, with a small smirk she breathlessly whispered, "Mr. Potter, I do believe that you are right-my past conclusion was completely wrong. It seems that I have chosen the wrong partners in conducting the experiment with."

"Well Miss Granger what do you propose we do now?" Harry asked quietly as he waited with baited breath for her reply.

"You do know that we have to keep repeating the experiment to see if we reach the same conclusion…" Hermione started to lean in.

"We do need to be accurate in our findings…"Harry then met her half way and they started their first snogfest.

At the Room of Requirement a group of men were sipping muggle ale…

"No freaking bloody way!" Ron exclaimed, "You mean I had a hand in you two getting together?!"

"You did want to find out the truth!" Harry countered.

"Seems Weasel, that you're quite the cupid!" Draco drawled.

"Enlighten me again why you're here Ferret?" Ron asked.

Shrugging his shoulders Draco took a swig and said, "Ask Ginny…"

"So who won the pool?" Charlie Weasley cut in.

"No one." Seamus and Lupin replied in unison.

"Serves you gits right for betting on such a personal matter!" Harry laughingly answered as he tucked away the last of his presents which all his guests purchased at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and all sexual in nature.

"I cannot believe that you and Hermione were together even before we came back for our seventh year!" Dean said.

"No one really found out? Gods, what's happened to you all since I left? Gone soft have we?!" Oliver exclaimed.

"More like daft!" Dennis Creevey retorted.

"Good one Harry! A right off prank worthy of an honorary Weasley!" Fred cheered as he slapped Harry on the back.

"Pulling one over on the whole school and the wizarding world! Never thought you had it in you!" George continued.

"So, how is it shagging the smartest witch of our age?"

"Boys…What goes on in our bedroom remains in the bedroom…"Harry then added, "and all the other places where we've shagged."

Those gathered hooted, "No disrespect Potter, but Hermione turned into a hottie in sixth year," Ernie Macmillan, "Just give us an idea…"

Harry took a long drink from his bottle, "Let's just say it's mind blowing…"

"Bet Potter's mind wasn't the only thing being blown…" Dean retorted.

The group roared and burst into a song with vulgar lyrics that concerned a farmer, his wife and their cow. Lupin took this advantage to speak to Harry while the group was distracted.

"Harry, a word please…" Lupin then moved to a corner.

Harry followed wordlessly, swaying slightly from the alcohol consumed.

Remus looked at Harry and his eyes misted as he thought of his deceased best friends, "Harry, being the last of the Marauders alive, I cannot help but feel that the responsibility of guiding you through this phase in your life has fallen upon my shoulders..." Pausing he took a deep breath, "I'm sure your parents and Sirius would be proud of you."

Harry looked down and nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement.

"But I'm sure that they would not want us to ruin this day by crying over the past. Tell me Harry, how has it been? Any problem in the bed scene?"

Harry's head snapped up, he stared at Lupin and couldn't find his voice to reply.

"Well, with the scene we stumbled upon last night…I know that you and Hermione have…um…I mean, I know that you both know what you're doing." Remus ran a finger around his collar as he saw Harry blush, "Uh, Harry, you know that I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, but dammit, I'm sure James would want me to set you straight about these things. I wish it was Sirius having this talk with you though, instead of me…"

Harry interrupted Lupin before the situation became more painful than it already was, "Look Remus, um…" Harry took a sip from his bottle, "I think Mione and I can handle these things, I mean we aren't as experienced…"

Lupin let out a chuckle at Harry's slip then stopped as he muttered, "Sorry about that…"

"Yes, Mione and I were virgins on our wedding night…" Harry hissed looking over his shoulder to see if any of the other blokes heard. "But we have been more than willing to try out different things and believe me Mione has been reading up on the subject…"

"I wasn't implying anything Harry, but I just wanted to make it official that I had this talk with you, I don't want to let James down by not watching out for his boy…"

"Duly noted, Remus…"

"Harry, you may want some tips. As I recall your parents were not really secretive about their escapades in the bedroom you know, in fact, I do believe James and Lily had a lot of practice before their wedding…"

Harry looked at Lupin and thought that he was about to hurl his stomach contents, "Remus, I don't think I'd like to hear about what my mum and dad were up to as a couple-mental picture here you know…"

"What I'm trying to say is Lily became pregnant with you immediately after they got married." Remus looked at Harry who was trying to dodge his glance, "You and Hermione have been married for six months and no bun in the oven yet? You sure your using the parts properly?"

Harry was red as a tomato and had no snappy comeback, little did he know that Ron had sneaked up behind him and had caught the last part of their conversation. Slapping his hand on Harry's shoulder he pulled him towards the group, "Did the lot of you hear that? Harry's been using his parts wrong!" Ron shouted to the guys as Harry looked like he was going to Kadavera Lupin. Remus, for his part had an unapologetic smirk on his lips as he raised his bottle to him in salute, "Pay back Harry, for not inviting me to your wedding!" It then dawned to Harry that he was set up by his and his father's best mates…

The rest of the boys started to make wise cracks about his manhood. "You sure you plugging the right hole Harry?" Seamus started to which everyone started to double up.

"May be the hole is right but the plug isn't big enough to fill it!" Dean added causing Oliver to fall from his chair in hysterics.

"Come now boys, let Potter be…" Draco said which caused the rest of the group to sober up at the shock of having Malfoy defend Potter.

"Never thought I'd say this but," Harry waved his hand towards Draco, "Thank you Malfoy."

But little did Harry know that Malfoy was not done, "I'm sure he doesn't want his shortcomings magnified!"

This caused them to roar with laughter, "It's true though, one must wonder. I mean with Fleur and me, it took us less than two months before we found out that we had an addition to the family!" Bill Weasley added.

"Did it occur to you that may be Mione and I are not ready to start a family yet? I did just off the darkest wizard of our day a few weeks ago." Harry retorted.

"Sure Harry, whatever you say…" Fred replied making lewd wanking hand signals in the air, as they kept laughing.

"Not to worry it's not in the size of the ship Harry, but the movement of the ocean!" George consoled.

"Must I ask Severus to make a potion for you Harry, you know to put lead into one's pencil as one may say?" Remus cracked.

"No Remus, there is enough lead in my pencil thank you very much!" Harry snapped, his face all red with embarrassment.

"I understand Potter's dilemma though, considering he does have a big job ahead of him every time he climbs into bed with the bookworm," a very pissed Terry Boot stated nonchalantly. Unaware of the storm he was about to invoke he continued, "Having to sleep, let alone shag someone like her entails quite a lot of imagination and a very dark room!"

A multitude of wands immediately trained on Terry's head as he was bringing the bottle of ale to his lips, "Are you bloody mad?" Ron exclaimed.

Harry calmly tucked his wand back into his cloak, flicking his hand he had Terry up in the air, "Ron enlighten me on why this pranny is here? Malfoy I can comprehend, in fact I would have expected a comment like that coming from him," Draco sniggered at this, his wand also aimed at the boy in the air, "-but from you? A Ravenclaw? Boot, you have a lot of bollocks to insult my wife in front of me…"

"C'mon Potter, we're all just having a good time, a shot at you and a shot at Granger…" Terry reasoned, taking in the furious look on Ron and Harry's faces, "What? It's not like I was the one who took her virtue or something…If the Prophet is to be believed, she was plucked way before you, Potter-may be by the Bulgarian bon-bon."

"Now you've signed your own death sentence boy…" Remus stated as he made no attempt to intervene.

"You must really be pissed face to be saying this without wetting your pants, Boot." Harry said in a menacing voice, "I know that Mione would have my head for this, but…" then with another wave of his hand, Terry went flying through the air and crashed into the wall. As he slid to the floor Harry lifted him up again, this time physically by his collar, "Mione walked down the aisle as pure and innocent as an angel the day we were married, you prick. Never speak ill of my wife again, or you may not be as lucky as to walk away…" Harry hissed, "By the by, it's not Granger anymore-it's Potter, Hermione Jane Potter-remember that name because if it wasn't for her, none of us would be alive today." Then he let go as the Ravenclaw collapsed unconscious to the floor.

Michael Corner stepped up to Harry and clasped his shoulder, "Sorry about that but Terry's been an arse ever since he found out about you and Hermione. Jealousy does things to people you know?" he then whipped out his wand and levitated his house mate, "We'll be leaving now-thanks for the invite, and I'm sure Terry didn't mean what he said."

Harry looked at the two Ravenclaw boys, "Look, just dump Boot back at your common room, then you can come back…No need for one guy to put a mockers on the party eh?"

Michael smirked back, "Thanks Harry, I'll be right back then."

After the pair exited the room, Justin Finch-Fletchy commented, "That was bloody wicked Potter!"

That broke the ice and the party resumed as more bottles of alcohol appeared. Harry was having a good time when he noticed Lupin whisper something to Ron, who brought out a small mirror and was talking into it. He became cautious about what was up the sleeves of his friends, suddenly the room changed and instead of a pub like setting, the lights dimmed as a stage with a catwalk appeared with a pole at the end.

Harry was pulled to the end of the catwalk and pushed down on a cushioned seat by Ron just as Lupin pushed a plastic crown on his head. He became aware that the group had grown much larger and noted that the girls had joined them. He saw Ginny and Luna sitting on the laps of Malfoy and Ron respectively, Tonks was standing beside Lupin who had his arm around her shoulders and the other girls were sitting in the different chairs that appeared.

Harry turned his attention on to the stage as loud music started to play, "What the hell…"

Looking up he saw a silhouette of a woman in a provocative pose on the stage, then the screen that hid her identity disappeared and Harry dropped his bottle of ale as he stared at his wife. She was in a Hogwart's uniform that definitely seemed to fit as though it were her first year one's. The skirt reached and inch or two below her crotch, the tight white blouse was knotted below her breasts and her Gryffindor tie was on loosely. She also had knee high socks and she was wearing her cloak open, her hair in pigtails and she was sucking on a lollipop-the all in all effect was that she was hot! And Harry's tight pants told the world so! As she strutted to the music, their group of guests began howling and clapping. When she finally reached the pole she jumped on it and spun around with her back arched and when she landed gracefully she tossed her cloak to the side as she looked down at her husband who had an eyebrow raised, his eyes dark with lust.

Hermione gracefully leaped down and sauntering over to Harry, bent down at the waist and placed a hand on his chest, "Someone asked for a stripper?"

"I don't think my wife would approve…"

Hermione released the clips holding up her pigtails and her hair softly came tumbling down, "Really now, a wife huh? Somehow I thought you looked like a man who wouldn't want to be tied down…"

"I think she slipped me an amortentia when I wasn't looking…" Harry said with a chuckle.

Narrowing her eyes, she hissed, "Why I ought to…" then with a smirk, Hermione left him and headed over to Neville. She sat on his lap and took off her tie and placed it around his neck. Poor Neville looked like he had just swallowed Trevor, he just sat there like a wet noodle as he looked at Harry fearfully. This caused the audience to laugh and some of the guys were sending him catcalls.

Hermione then moved over to Seamus, who unlike Neville stood up and danced with her provocatively, she then pulled Dean up and the trio danced with her sandwiched between them, but fearing what happened to Terry no physical contact was made. Hermione unbuttoned her blouse but didn't untie the knot, giving everyone a peek at her black lace bra as she moved through the crowd, even stopping to dance in front of Lupin, who found himself sandwiched between Hermione and Tonks and looking mighty uncomfortable!

"What the hell got into Hermione?" Ron whispered to Luna.

"We told her that we've been slipping Felix Felicis in her firewhiskey…"

"You had firewhiskey?! Dean was right, we should have gone to Hermione's party!" Ron retorted.

Draco, having heard Ron and Luna's conversation, "You really slipped Felix Felicis in her drinks?"

Ginny looked up at him, "Of course not, but one must never underestimate the powers of psychology!"

Draco chuckled, "That love, is cunningness worthy of any Slytherin!"

"Wash you're mouth Malfoy! I'm a Gryffindor through and through! Got the courage to hook up with you didn't I?" Ginny retorted with an eyebrow up.

"So very true love," Draco bent his head and started snogging Ginny, seeing Hermione in a get up like that certainly turned him on, "Hey Red, think you still got those first year uniform of yours somewhere?"

Ginny smiled, "Whatever for?"

"Well…we could think of something imaginative to do with it…." Draco said wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Get a room…wait, don't get a room!" Ron exclaimed, as he realized that it was his sister he was talking to.

Luna looked at Ginny and gave her a trademark dreamy smile, "Leave him to me…get out of here…we've got a big day tomorrow and I still have to de-nargle the flower arrangements!"

Ginny took Draco's hand and led him out of the room, pulling along some of the people in the room, soon the Room of Requirement was half empty.

"Let's say we leave these two alone, eh?" Tonks whispered to Lupin.

"I don't think they care if they have an audience or not!" Lupin remarked as he watched, though Hermione was still fully clothed sans her tie and cloak, Harry looked like he was about to burst into flames at the teasing his wife was putting him through.

"Let them be Remus-heard through a grapevine that you and Ron gave Harry one hell of a time…"

"He deserved it! Not inviting his best mate and me? Unthinkable!" Lupin ranted.

"Well, enough's enough…time I got some attention…" Tonks then rubbed up against Remus, who let out a growl.

Looking at the few other students who were talking amongst themselves, Remus took Tonks hand and turning to Ron and Luna, "I suggest we call it a night…I for one do not need see how the Potters go at it…It was bad enough when Sirius and I would run into James and Lily during their days!"

Ron and Luna snickered at this and went out with them along with those left behind. Just as Ron was to close the door to the Room of Requirement he saw his two best friends practically licking each other's throats, Hermione was straddling Harry clawing his clothes off on the seat and Harry had one hand under Hermione's skirt. Shaking his head in mirth he witnessed the room change as a large poster bed appeared in scarlet and gold linens. A fireplace emerged from the wall, different sizes and shapes of candles and vases full of flowers surrounded the room, "Must be Hermione's doing." He thought to himself taking into consideration the romantic ambiance, then he saw that the walls and ceiling of the room transform into mirrors, "then again I may be wrong…" as he closed the door with a wicked smile.

At the common room at the Gryffindor tower a pair of women and men sat on the couch…

"Albus, I know you know what's going on here…" McGonagall burred.

"Whatever are you going on about Minerva?" Dumbledore answered, trying hard to keep the smirk from appearing on his face.

"Some of my students have been missing during the night. I just saw Mr. Corner levitating a housemate of his to their Common Room, when I asked him what had happened he said that Mr. Boot collided into a wall, but ran away before I asked how that happened." McGonagall detailed.

"Do you think we should be alarmed about the missing students?"

McGonagall gave Dumbledore a hard look and shook her head, "According to the other Heads of House, everyone was accounted for by curfew, except for the prefects who are still doing their rounds."

"There you have it then, no need for concern." Dumbledore stated as he took a sip of his hot cocoa.

Molly decided that it would be prudent to change the subject, "Minerva, do you like the motif for the wedding?"

"Yes Molly, I believe Harry and Hermione would love the colors you picked." McGonagall replied, her features softening.

"What we chose, Minerva." Molly said as she patted the hand of the professor, "I wouldn't have reached this point had it not been for your help."

"Albus, how could the kids have gotten married right under our noses and manage to hide it from everyone? Six months is a very long time to keep something this big a secret you know." Arthur inquired.

"From what I have gathered, only Harry, Hermione and Minister Bones were the participants in the ceremony…and since Amelia was under the Fidelius Charm no one else could have known even if she wanted to tell or if she was under duress." Albus replied.

"Then who was the secret keeper?" Molly asked.

"Considering what we've encountered in the Head Students' Chamber, Mrs. Potter herself." Dumbledore said.

McGonagall gasped, "No wonder Harry couldn't say anything when we asked what was going on and he kept looking at Miss Grang-er…Mrs. Potter." Nodding she looked at Dumbledore, "It makes sense."

Before anyone else could have their say, the portrait door opened and Ron entered after bringing Luna back to the Ravenclaw tower.

"Mum! Dad!" Ron exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Well that's a welcome any mother would love!" Molly retorted, "Come here and give your mum and dad a hug!"

Ron sheepishly went into the open arms of his mother and almost had the breath squeezed out of him. Turning to his dad he received a slap on his back, then he nodded to his headmaster and head of house.

"Again, what are you doing here?"

"Well, we do have a surprise wedding ball to arrange for tomorrow, we just wanted to start the preparations as early as possible." Molly answered.

"By the by, George and Fred handed over what they claim to be the students' pool-I must say, quite a sum indeed." Arthur added.

"We kept the money at their shop, knew it would have been the safest place other than Gringotts." Ron exclaimed.

"Arthur, the faculty pool will be handed to you by Remus." McGonagall said as she turned to the elderly Weasley.

"It has already been done, Minerva." Arthur assured.

"Very well then, were you waiting for me?" Ron asked.

"Why yes, but we would have wanted to see Ginny too. The business we have here is to get you and Ginny to fetch the best dress robes of Harry and Hermione so we can get it ready for the festivities tomorrow night." Molly explained.

"Okay then, but Ginny should be here by now, she left earlier than me." Ron stated as he looked up towards the girls staircase.

"Left from where, dear?" Molly inquired as McGonagall turned her head.

"Uh…" Ron stuttered, "Um…from nightly rounds! Yeah…from nightly rounds, Ginny came up earlier since she had to finish her potions assignment."

Molly nodded as McGonagall's eyes narrowed, three boys came down the stairs talking animatedly, upon seeing Ron before noticing the others in the room, "Cor, it's over then? Tell us did Hermione take it all off?" Seamus started then shut up immediately after Dean hit him on the upside of the head.

"What's over, Mr. Finnigan? And what did Mrs. Potter take off?" McGonagall burred.

"Uh…" Dean began.

"Well…" Neville added, blushing.

"There was an incident at the third floor boys' bathroom, Peeves was at it again. Harry had a hard time cleaning up the mess and asked Hermione if she could help. Seamus was the one who fetched Hermione and well…" Ron explained immediately.

"Yeah, such a mess! Didn't think Hermione would be able to get the crap off the walls!" Seamus finished.

"Mr. Finnigan! I'll have you clean you're language up in front of guests!" McGonagall hissed, "Five points from Gryffindor!"

Seamus just looked down as the other boys groaned.

"Ron about those dress robes…" Molly began.

Ron headed out the portrait door, followed by his parents then the professors. When the door swung open Ginny was in front of it snogging Draco good night.

"GINERVA MOLLY WEASLEY! IS THIS THE REASON YOU LEFT YOU'RE PREFECT DUTIES EARLY?!" Molly screeched, as she watched Ginny and Draco jump apart.

"Mum!" Ginny exclaimed, stunned to see her parents at school and worst-seeing her snogging her boyfriend!

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Such a pleasure of seeing you here in our fine institution." Draco stated, his voice velvet as he bowed politely to his girlfriend's parents, "Please excuse us, I assure you that what you have just witnessed was merely my expression of love for your daughter, a simple good night kiss. Rest assured that I have not corrupted the virtues of Ginerva and nor do I intend to till she is my wife…"

Ginny stared up at Draco, completely floored. "Thank Merlin for that Slytherin tongue!" she thought.

Molly was speechless, never had anyone been able to weather her tirade, and considering the situation they had been caught, and luckily Draco was able to slither his and Ginny's way out of punishment.

"You've been giving marriage thought now have you Mr. Malfoy?" Arthur asked.

"Very much Mr. Weasley, every since Ginny had agreed to be my girlfriend." Draco replied.

"Do wait till she's out of school though-I know that you will be graduating in a few days, but please have Ginny graduate a Weasley instead of a Malfoy."

"I'll be willing to wait, sir."

Arthur nodded as Molly sniffed, "My baby!" as she gathered Ginny into her arms then looking at Malfoy, pulled him into their hug.

"Must be a Potter thing-getting married before you graduate…" Dean whispered to Ron, Seamus and Neville, the commotion brought the three boys out again.

"Must be contagious! Staying to close to the Potters probably causes this wedding fever!" Seamus retorted.

"What have you to say, Ron?" Neville asked as he noticed the shocked expression on his friend's face.

"Blimey! Ferret was able to survive mum's wrath and was able to get Ginny out of any punishment for her! He's good…" Ron whispered back.

"Since you're here Ginny," Molly said after composing herself, "you can go with your brother to fetch Hermione's best dress robes for the wedding tomorrow night."

Ginny turned to Ron, who shrugged, "Mum, don't you think that a gown would be more appropriate for Hermione?"

"Well, that would have been ideal dear, but I don't have her measurements so we can send it to Madam Malkin's." Molly's eyes started to glow, "but, that would be a great idea!"

"Do you think Madam Malkin could make a gown for her on such short notice?" McGonagall asked.

"I don't think she would turn down the opportunity to dress the wife of Harry Potter!" Molly replied.

"Hermione would just die! She told us that the only regret she had of getting married in the sly was that she wasn't able to wear her dream wedding gown!" Ginny said giddily, as she jumped up and down oblivious to the hand signals that Ron was giving her to shut up.

"Well then, it's settled." Arthur stated, "We must get the measurements of Hermione without her having a clue of what we are up to. Any suggestions on how we should do that?"

"Let us just get the dress robes of our Head Students and merely base it on that." Dumbledore suggested as he did notice the signals Ron was sending, "I for one learned my lesson from last night to not interrupt their nightly activities." he added with a knowing smile.

Bewildered, Molly asked, "What happened last night, Albus?"

Dumbledore pretended he did not hear Molly's question as he turned his attention to the boys, "Mr. Malfoy, I believe that you're prefect duties are over now that you have seen fit to properly escort Miss Weasley back to her tower? You may now head back to the dungeons for some needed sleep…As for the lot of you, head back to your dorms and Mr. Weasley please fetch us those dress robes we so wish to attain."

The boys looked at each other, then after a curt nod, Draco started to walk off. He had taken a few steps when he doubled back and placed a chaste kiss on Ginny's cheek then turned on his heels. The three Gryffindor boys were starting to head back to the tower when…

"Albus, I do want those measurements. I'm sure that I could come up with am excuse that Hermione would believe," Molly began.

"But Molly, we have no idea where those two are, they aren't in their chambers. You did hear Ron mentioning about Peeves and the bathroom," Arthur stated ignorant to the meaningful looks his son and daughter were exchanging, "It could take all night."

"Men! No grasp on the importance of a wedding gown!" Molly exasperated, "It's a wedding gown, something Hermione will cherish forever…It would mean more to her than anything we cook up for tomorrow."

Arthur took in the stance of his wife and knew there was no going around this once her mind was made up, "Very well then, where do you think they're at?"

"Room of Requirement…" Neville said then smacked his forehead when the slip was made, he saw that all his friends were looking at him furiously.

"Wonderful! Let's be off then!" Arthur stated as he and his wife made way to the seventh floor, the rest of the group looked at each other flabbergasted.

"Arthur wait!" Dumbledore said as he tried to stall the couple.

Draco having been within earshot of the conversation that took place, retraced his steps and joined the four boys, his girlfriend and McGonagall.

"Is there something that you would want to tell me?" McGonagall asked as she stared down the group.

"Nothing professor." Ron replied.

"You are sure Mr. Weasley?" Ron nodded.

"What are the two doing in the Room of Requirement then?" she continued interrogating.

"Studying?" Ginny volunteered.

"Are you asking it or stating it?" McGonagall asked.

"Uh…stating it professor." Ginny mumbled as she felt Draco reach for her hand in assurance.

"What are they studying there then?"

"Anatomy…" Seamus mumbled.

"What's that Mr. Finnigan?"

"Astronomy, professor. Harry and Hermione said that they needed the sky to be enchanted so they could study the alignment of the planets and stars." Seamus replied.

"Very well, if none of you would want to tell me then I guess I just have to find out myself…Oh and Mr. Finnigan?"

"Yes professor?"

"The Potters do not take Astronomy…."

The group remained silent as the Transfiguration professor followed the others towards the said room.

"Not again…" Ron muttered.

"Think we should follow them?" Neville suggested.

"Definitely Longbottom. I missed the free show last night, don't want to miss out on it again." Draco drawled, as he pulled a willing Ginny with him to get to the room.

"Well…"Dean began, "What do you reckon we do?"

"Go along." Seamus said firmly.

"I don't think it's a good idea…" Neville said with uncertainty in his voice, but was following in the wake of Dean and Seamus.

"Coming Weasley?"

Ron was not sure he wanted to be there when his parents walk in on Harry and Hermione shagging. Mentally smacking himself, "How stupid can I get?! Mum and dad with McGonagall and Dumbledore along with Ferret are going to catch Harry and Hermione shagging-this is too good to pass up and so hard for them to live it down!" Then with a wicked smirk on his face he started to sprint to catch up with the lot of them, "Wouldn't miss it for a Chudley Cannon's game!"

*****

Wow! Ron giving up a Chudley Cannon game just to see the expression of his parents catching his best friends shagging? Ah, priceless…

Won't be elaborating on what exactly happened here-I'll be going straight to the ceremony and how the couple is going to find out about it…

I will take into consideration some of the suggestions which were thrown my way-the fifth and last chapter is being written, some parts are done and others are still figments of my imagination just waiting to be tapped…and no the last word to this story is NOT `scar'

Till the next

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