A/N: Well, everyone welcome. First, the normal disclaimers, I don't own the characters, if I did the anvils would have had giant alarms posted to them so people would have seen them coming LOL. Anyway, that aside, I'd like to say welcome. This is the first plot that I have completely charted. I know where this story is going and what is supposed to happen in the first four chapters. I really want to stay on top of this story and so I hope that everyone enjoys this story enough to make it worth my while. This is loosely based on a book and movie, of which I will reveal at a later date, or the plot may be given away.
Enjoy!
Avalon
The Loving Time
Chapter 1: The Loving Time
"Oh what's the use in complaining
In for a penny in for a pound
I remember the loving time
And nothing else really counts
And I recall the promise they made
With a faith I can but admire
That she'd be the one he adored
And he'd be her hearts desire" Mary Black~The Loving Time
Hermione:
His death was so much more than the end. It was the beginning for many people. It meant the beginning of a life without fear. It meant the beginning of a new era. It also meant the beginning of my torment. It was the beginning of a life that was never something I could dream of. It would signal a time of momentous ups and downs. Something that, if asked to chose, I don't know if I would want it or ask it to be taken away from me. His end turned out to be a beginning of sorts.
Day 1, Month 1, Year 1 AV (after Voldemort)
She was told that she was the one to make the decision. Of course, no one needed to tell her that the choice was hers. She knew that it was, she was, after all, his wife. It didn't make it any easier. Ron stood by her side, Luna next to him, as the stood over Harry's bed. He looked so peaceful, more than he had been in the last months. Looking at him, you would never know that he was gone. According to the Medi wizards, there was nothing that could be done for him. There were no vital signs, and the only thing that was keeping him medically alive, was the various talismans that were regulating all his body functions. He was brain dead and his organs were ready to be relieved of their struggling. But she couldn't see that. He still had a little color in his cheeks. He still was warm to the touch. How could she be the one to have to end it?
"Hermione, he's not there. That's just a shell." Ron whispered, reading her mind in a way that had been developed in the years of battle. The three of them had gotten so good at it and now it was only the two of them. "He wouldn't want this. He hated hospital."
"Give her time Ronald. Give him time. " Luna whispered airily. Hermione couldn't help but be grateful for the wispy blonde.
"I can't," She whispered, kissing Harry. She walked out the door.
Ron and Luna followed her. They had been given access to a special entrance, one the reporters could not find and waited on their ride from the Ministry. Ron laughed at the irony of the matter, for years; the Ministry went out of its way to condemn Harry. And now, that he was dead, they were more than happy to help his family out and provide for their needs. Ministry escort was no less then what Mrs. Potter deserved. She shivered, not because of the cold; it was a mild day in late spring. It had been a month since Voldemort and Harry fought. Harry killed Voldemort, but his body was too taxed, though no one could explain exactly why he was so destroyed. Hermione and Ron had been busy elsewhere, overseeing others on their side. Taking counts. All things that Harry knew would keep them safe.
Hermione hated him sometimes, just for the fact that he put her and Ron in a tent off of the battlefield, asking them to make sure everything went as plan. She had always thought that it would be the three of them together in the end.
But the prophecy withheld, one died at the hands of the other. A great shudder fell over the battle and than silence. She had promised that she would stay away while he was fighting, but as soon as it was over she rushed to find him. He lay in an awkward position, eyes open, not responding to anything, barely breathing. And then, he was gone. It happened so quickly that Hermione wasn't sure that it was real. Surely, she tried to tell herself, her grief was overcoming her. And before Ron made it to her screaming voice, Harry was back. Eyes closed and a peaceful look upon his face. They took him to St. Mungo's, where he had been for a month. She knew what had to be done, but she couldn't be there for it.
They got in the back of the Ministry car, it was black, very fitting for the occasion, all silent. Ron sat between Luna and Hermione. She was grateful that Luna understood, as she rested her head on Ron's shoulder.
"Where am I taking you all?" The driver asked as he drove away from the hospital.
Ron looked at Luna, she merely nodded.
"Grimmauld Place. We'll walk from there." They sat in companionable silence until the driver pulled up to Grimmauld Place, pulling over on the side of the road. "Thank you." Ron said as they piled out of the car. They walked down the road as the driver pulled away, Luna's arm around Hermione. Hermione barely noticed that they were in the house, unitl Luna took off her rain coat and hung it up for her. The house felt empty, what was it they said about homes?
"I think I'm going to my room for awhile." She said, and walked down the hallways. No longer was this a place of darkness. Throughout the lulls in the war, they had worked hard to clean and brighten the place. It was an escape on all their parts. Pretending for a moment they were normal twenty-somethings working on their first flat. But it was going to be more than that, it was going to be their family home, Harry had decided. Hermione trailed her hand on the heavy banister. It's dark mahogany, sleek under her hand.
Their room was their haven. On sunny days light shone into the room, illuminating the gold accents, minimal but there. Creams, golds, and deep chocolate browns covered their bed, a four poster bed, Harry had picked out for the two of them. The rest of the room, Hermione had decorated. Two soft white armchairs sat by the window, perfect for reading, though with the chairs situated with their back to the door, she was often startled by Harry as he would sneak up on her while she was deep in a book. He always thought it to be so funny. A tear rolled down her cheek at the thought. A tall bookshelf lined the walls around the picture window, something Harry had ordered custom made just for her. "Just in case you don't want to go down to the Library." He had said with a smile.
She walked to their closet, and took out a jumper of his. Pulling it over her head and grabbing a throw, she sat in the chair, watching as the rain started. She couldn't help but be chilled these days. She didn't know what she was going to do without him. She didn't know who she was without him. Something she never had wanted, and yet, sometimes we don't get what we wish for. She wasn't sure how long she sat like that, staring out the window, watching the rain. They were supposed to do other things when the war was over. They were supposed to have children, travel the world, love each other forever...
She could only roll the possibilities through her head, wishing and hoping that her life would get better. It was some time and then she felt someone's eyes on her from the direction of the other chair.
"Hermione?" She turned her head, catching the chair out of the corner of her eye. He was there. His messy black hair clashing against the white, "Hermione?" That wasn't Harry's voice. But she couldn't stop staring. It was him, his green eyes looking at her, confusion in his eyes. Footsteps walked up behind her. "Hermione," a hand on her shoulder, she looked up, it was Ron. She looked back at Harry, but the chair was empty.
"Hermione, what are you staring at?" Ron asked, concern etched in his voice.
"Nothing Ron, it was nothing." She whispered.
"Luna made some soup and fresh bread for dinner. Why don't you come down and eat it?"
Hermione needed to leave the room, she was sure she was going crazy, and yet, she wanted to stay and see if Harry would come back. What was she thinking? He couldn't come back, he hadn't been there!
"Come on you need to eat and we need to talk." Ron said helping her up, and flash of pity and love on his face when he noticed she was wearing Harry's jumper. Hermione noticed this, "This was the closet I had to him hugging me." She whispered apologetically.
"I understand," Ron said as they walked out of the room taking one last glance at the other chair, he almost could picture Harry sitting in his chair, "I understand."
Luna was setting their bowls around the table as Ron and Hermione entered. Hermione noticed that Harry's spot was strategically empty. Would it always be like this, she wondered? Did she want his spot to be filled?
They sat in silence for awhile until Ron finally broke the silence. "Hermione, we need to talk about letting Harry go."
Ron braced himself for the fight he was sure was going to happen. Instead Hermione just nodded.
"Does that mean you agree? Hermione, I need to hear it from you. No one is asking you to do it today, but there's just no use to keeping him trapped in a body that is dying."
"I know Ron. I-" She paused, the words choking her. "I just can't do it. I can't be there when it happens. I don't know that I would be able to sit through his last breath without trying to do something. I've spent so long being the one to save him. How can I-"She choked at the thought. "How can I be the one?" She muttered with a sob.
"Hermione," Ron began, but realized there wasn't anything that could be said. Instead, he got up and hugged her as she cried. "You won't have to do it. I can take that burden from you." He said, pulling away and looking into her eyes. He hated to ask the next question. It was one thing agreeing that it had to be done. It was a completely different thing to say when they wanted to do it. "Do you want to see him before?"
Did she want to see him before? Hermione felt the bile rise up. How could she not want to see him? How could she see him? The answer was out of her mouth before she even realized it. Painful and harsh, yet crystal clear in it's demand.
"No"
"Are you sure?" Ron asked, quietly knowing that one day, she would regret the choice, praying that she would realize this now, and change her mind.
She couldn't say it again, but she nodded her head. "Just do it before I change my mind." She whispered as she pushed the chair out from under her, letting it tumble as she ran out of the room. She couldn't go up to their room. She couldn't go anywhere in their house.
Instead, she walked quietly out the back door into the garden. The rain hadn't stopped and she shivered as the cool drops melted with the warm drops. She sat against a tree in the yard, the buds not fully bloomed, nothing covering her from the rain. She didn't care though, she was to distraught. Her breath hitched in her lungs, her anguish sat heavy on her soul. She hugged her knees and lay her head on them, her mind wandering…
"Promise me, Hermione." Harry said, tracing circles on her arm.
She hated it when he did that, using her weakness to distract her into submission. Yet she loved the way it felt as he caressed her arm, laying tender kisses on her cheeks.
"Harry, I want to help you." She pleaded.
"Please, promise me that you will stay in that tent unless it is attacked. Please, promise me that you'll live. I need to know that the person I treasure above everything else will be safe." He asked desperately.
"And what about me? How am I supposed to do anything if I don't know you are alive?" Hermione paused, "I love you Harry. More than I ever thought I would love anyone. You have my whole heart, I've promised you that. But what hope does my heart have, if you don't survive?" She asked him, tears welling in her eyes. His hands traveled to cup the apples of her cheek, using his thumbs, he brushed her tears back.
"Hermione, I promise, I will never leave with your heart. A gift as precious as your love? I could never let it go to waste. Please…" He begged giving her a kiss. It deepened to their soul. He made his way down her chest, kissing it lightly. "I love you with all my heart…"
He made love to her so tenderly, Hermione feared her heart would break from sheer devotion…
~~~~
Ron watched Hermione go. He knew he should go after her, but he was exhausted. The past month had been an ordeal. The testing that went on twenty four hours a day on Harry, the constant search for a reason for his condition, had taken its toll on him. They had researched, tried spells, gained entrance into the Department of Mysteries, yet nothing they did would end in fruitful gain. They had failed, and the weight of this failure was too much. How had they let their friend and guardian die? He leaned into Luna as she came up to him from behind. Burdens of promises he made weighing his soul down. Never had he felt older or more mortal than he did now.
"Luna, it's not as if I want to do it." He whispered, tilting his head backwards to meet her eyes.
"I know, Ronald." She said, combing her hand through his hair. "Everyone knows, and no one will say that
you did or that they did. But his soul has been set free; his body needs to be set free as well."
"Luna, I love you." He whispered. "I love you so much. But I promised him I would help take care of her, should something happen. Can you live with the attention I am going to have to give to make sure that she is alright after we do this?"
Luna got down in front of him falling to her knees. He looked up at her and saw her eyes sparkling with tears and understanding.
"I know that. But you think you are the only one who made promises. Who do you think Harry asked to take care of you? He set up a nice chain to make sure those he loved would be cared for. He asked that I help take care of this home. Why do you think he insisted we live here during the war and beyond? We'll live here like we planned, its no different than it was supposed to be, we are just one person short. The point is, we'll live. It won't be easy at first, but eventually, we'll remember that Harry sacrificed too much for us to not live. It is no one's failure to have lived or died."
Ron often wondered if Luna had a gift of seeing beyond. She was always in tuned to what he thought and what he needed to hear.
"You're right. We'll make it through and so will Hermione." He said standing in the kitchen. "Will you stay here and make sure that if she comes out of her room she's not alone while I'm at St. Mungo's?"
"Of course."
"Alright, I'm going to go and-" He stopped, he wouldn't finish the sentence, besides Luna knew what he was about to do.
~~~~~~
Ron had said his goodbye and the deed was done. Harry Potter's official time of death was 11:00pm one month and one day after his final battle with Voldemort. All he wanted was to go home and lay in bed with Luna. But there were people to inform and arrangements to be made. His first stop would be the Burrow. He would tell his mother and father that their adoptive son was officially on his next great adventure.
He apparated outside the Burrow's wards and walked up the familiar path to his childhood home. It was different than it had once been, with improvements and more time from his retired father, yet it still was a place that had always brought him comfort.
He walked into their cluttered living room, to find his mother and father listening to WWN while respectively working on their knitting and tinkering with an old telephone.
His mother looked up startled to find their youngest son standing in their living room. Words did not need to be exchanged, instead, his mother dropped her knitting and stood up to hug her son.
"He's gone mum, we did it tonight." His voice trembled. "There's so much that needs to be done, Hermione can't do it and I need Luna, and someone needs to find Lupin when the full-moon is over, and-"
"Shh, shh…" his mum rubbed his back while his father laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"We'll take care of it son." His father said. "I'll floo Tonks in the morning. And we'll make arrangements to have the service after the Full Moon so Lupin can be in attendance." Ron could only nod, his tears slowing to trickles out of his eyes.
"Can you be responsible for the media?" Ron asked, unsure if he would even be ready to make a public appearance when they had the service.
"Of course. Why don't you and your mum go back to Grimmauld Place. I'll be along shortly, I'm just going to notify the family" Arthur said. Ron was grateful that his parents were able to push aside their grief to help.
Ron nodded and stepped into the fire after throwing the powder into it. His mother was not far behind him, with a bag in tow, full of food, no doubt.
Luna was sitting in the kitchen, a mug of tea in her hand, a parchment of paper in front of her. She looked up, no smile, just a small nod as her husband came to her side.
"I thought I would get a start on the Quibbler's article for tomorrow's special edition." Luna whispered. "Though it's a tad more difficult than I thought it was going to be."
"Well, why don't you put that away for awhile and I'll put on a cup of tea. Where's Hermione, the poor dear?"
"She hasn't been out of her room all night. I was hoping that she fell asleep, she hasn't had much in the last month."
~~~~
Hermione woke with a start, shivering and cold as the light in her bedroom turned on. She could see it from the tree she sat under. She had not meant to fall asleep. She hadn't meant to stay in the rain either. Did she care? But it was the light in her room that startled her the most.
Standing in the window a man, not to tall, his hair out of control. It was Harry. His silhouette was something that Hermione knew by heart. She had to get inside. She ran inside, her feet slipping in the mud as she ran to the door.
As she ran into the house she ran straight into Ron.
"Hermione, where have you been, we went to your room, you weren't there." He paused noticing her
state, "My god, Hermione, you're soaking wet?"
"Ron, Harry was in my room I saw him, let me go I need to go see him." She struggled to get out of his grip.
"Hermione, that's why we were looking for you,." Ron whispered. "He's not there, he's gone on."
"No, he was just upstairs." Hermione said, her breathes coming in short gasps.
`
"Hermione, you're burning up."
"Ron he's- he's" her vision going fuzzy, while Ron scooped her up as she fainted.
"I found her!" He yelled out as he came to the main hallway, his mum meeting him at the bottom of the stairs. "She was outside all this time and she's burning up with fever. She's delusional; she thinks that Harry was upstairs."
"Oh, the poor dear, hurry let's get her upstairs." Molly, directed following Ron up the stairs. "Luna, bring some hot tea and biscuits," She asked as Luna walked into the landing.
~~~~
Hermione groaned as she woke. Her limbs felt heavy and her eyelids were like sandpaper against her eyes. She was so cold too.
"There you are dearie." A familiar redhead whispered, as she wiped Hermione's brow with a cold cloth. "Drink some of this." She held a glass of steaming liquid up to her mouth. It was bitter and far too hot, but it felt good going down her throat.
"Harry wasn't here was he?" Hermione asked, her voice cracking with despair.
"No, love, he wasn't. Remember what we talked about?" Ron said as he sat on the bed next to her.
"He's gone then?" Hermione asked, understanding in her voice. The reality crossing her face.
Ron only nodded.
"Oh." Hermione's lip started trembling. "I-uh I, who's making plans?"
"We'll take care of it. What you need to do is get some rest tonight. We'll sort things out in the morning." Molly said.
"Ron, I want you and Luna to go and get some sleep for awhile, as well. I'll take care of Hermione for the night." Molly gave her direction, one which was said in the sweetest of ways, but barred no arguments. Ron knew he would have to do what his mother said. And to be honest, all he wanted to do was sleep. He leaned over Hermione, brushing the hair from her face. They had come so far, the two of them. She was a sister to him, and still a best friend, and all he wanted was for her to feel better.
"You sleep tight." He wished as he kissed her on the forehead. As he walked out the door he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek as well. "Thank you."
His mother smiled, "It's the least I can do. He deserves so much more than I can give him."
"Yes, he did." Ron agreed, walking from the room, his facade breaking and taking his wife in his arms, they walked to their end of the house.
~~~~
Day 2, Month 1, Year 1 AV
Hermione did not sleep well the entire night. Her dreams were plagued with his voice. She would wake and stare at the ceiling for hours. Sometimes, she would watch Molly sleeping with a troubled look on her face. And sometimes she would wake and Harry was always standing over her, a look of confusion on his face. She would go back to sleep trying to ignore him, but it was too difficult. Shortly before dawn she woke and couldn't get herself to fall back asleep. Her stomach was in knots.
She got out of bed, pulling a robe that someone had left next to her bed and walked to her chair. Sitting down in it, she could only think of him.
~~~~
They were sitting in their room; she was reading an old favorite of hers from her childhood. They had promised that they would spend a half an hour everyday taking time to enjoy something aside from the research they had been doing for the war effort. Harry was supposedly reading a Quidditch journal, but he had been staring at her for at least five pages of her book.
"Harry, honestly, how am I supposed to concentrate on this book if you keep staring at me?" She asked with a smirk.
He just shrugged his shoulders, smiling at her.
"What are you thinking?" Hermione asked. Lately, he had been rather pensive about many things.
"You're beautiful you know?" Harry started, "I just can picture you as a little girl, reading in a big chair lost in a world of imagination. I want to have a little girl just like you, so I can spoil her rotten."
Hermione was so taken by that. She could do more than lean toward him and kiss him.
"You know," Hermione paused. "You should spoil me until you get that daughter of yours." Hermione laughed.
"Really? Don't I already?" Harry asked with a pout.
"Well, I can think of one thing right now that I want and am not getting." Hermione said, a mischievous smile creeping onto her face.
A knock came to the door.
"Harry, Hermione!" It was Ron. Sometimes, Hermione cursed the fact their best friend lived here with his wife. Only sometimes, like now, when she wished she could ignore him.
"Come on you guys! Hermione-"
~~~~
"Hermione" She looked up, and jumped when she saw his green eyes.
"You're not real." She whispered, closing her eyes and willing this nightmare to end.
"Hermione, how did I get here?" He begged, sitting next to her in his chair.
"You're not here Harry, you're dead." She said morosely.
"But, I am here. You, I can feel you. " Harry said reaching out to her. She backed away from his touch, but a part of her longed for it. To her surprise, he was warm, his hand cupped her face. She had to be dreaming.
"I-uh-I don't understand. How are you here?" Hermione asked. She felt herself getting nauseous.
"I don't know. I was there, on the field-"
Hermione felt sick. Her skin was getting clammy and she was beginning to feel the saliva in her mouth work its way up. She was going to be sick. She didn't say anything as she stood up, her hand covering her mouth as she ran to her bathroom. She was just able to lift the lid of the toilet before she threw up the tea and biscuits she had eaten the night before. She was shivering and cold and couldn't get up out of the bathroom when she heard someone open the door.
"Hermione?" It was Molly's steady voice. It shouldn't have been steady though, especially if Harry was sitting right out in their room.
Hermione looked over to the door where Molly stood. She looked calm, except the concern etched on her face.
"Do you want me to get you something? Some tea?" The thought of food made Hermione's stomach turn again. She could only dry heave. After she was done, she shook her head slowly.
"Did you," Hermione began, but wasn't sure how to ask. Seeing people in the wizarding world who were supposed dead were not the most unusual, though, mostly those people were ghosts. "Did, you see anything in the bedroom before you came in here?"
"No, but I was more worried about you. I heard you slam the bathroom door." Molly said a question in her face. "Why do you ask?"
"I don't-"Hermione wasn't sure what she wanted to tell Molly. "I must have been asleep still and I thought I saw someone. It was so blurry though, I was asleep, I'm sure." Hermione lied. Truth be told, she wasn't sure who she saw. It couldn't have been real.
"Let's get you back in bed." Molly walked over to Hermione and helped her up. She was a little dizzy and shaky, but felt fine otherwise.
Hermione looked over to the chairs, and they were empty. She was almost ready to believe that she had imagined it, but on his chair sat a bracelet she had made him before he went to battle.
Hermione went over to pick it up. It was cold in the room, but the bracelet was still warm. Had he been there? She simply slid the bracelet on her wrist. It had to have been a dream. Right?
"You get some sleep," Molly said, tucking Hermione in. "I'm going to go downstairs and see what I can make for breakfast. Don't worry about getting up anytime soon. I'll save some aside from you." A look of concern crossed her face as she saw the bracelet on Hermione's wrist. Hermione didn't answer; she played with the bracelet until she was sleeping again contently, for the first time in hours.
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