Harry finally opened his eyes and immediately felt a sense of comfort. He was finally back in his own home, instead of staying in low-budget hotels. Sighing with contentment, he relaxed back into his pillows. However, his peacefulness was soon disturbed as a high-pitched cry filled the house. Cringing, Harry slowly rose from his bed and quickly pulled on a pair of grey sweat pants over his boxers and exited the room just in time to witness Hermione slowly walking up and down the hall, Sienna crying loudly in her arms.
"I'm sorry she woke you," said Hermione over the screaming.
"It's okay," he replied as he slowly walked towards her. "Do you want me to try?"
Hermione hesitated before handing her crying daughter over to Harry. To both their disappointment, Sienna only cried louder and began to struggle. Hermione instantly took her back.
"I don't know what's wrong with her," she said sadly. "It's almost as if she knows…"
"Knows what?"
"That Robert's gone. Her father, Harry…" she sobbed. Reality had finally sunk into her.
"Hermione…" he said gently, stepping towards her.
"He's gone, Harry. He was the love of my life… I love him so much … Sienna's going to grow up without her father..." She continued as Harry's eyes lowered towards the ground.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. "If I could bring him back for you, I would."
Hermione looked up at him through watery eyes, "I know you would," she whispered. "It's just that, I don't think she should…"
"Hermione, Sienna has you. For Merlin sakes, be grateful for it. Be grateful she doesn't have to grow up in an environment where everyone hates her because of what she is and whom she's related to. Whether you like it or not, she's got me too, and I may not be the best father figure in the world, at least she's got one." Harry said seriously, causing her to recoil slightly at the dark look in his eyes.
"I didn't mean-" she began quietly.
Harry shook his head and threw himself back in his bedroom. She didn't think he could do it. Hell, he didn't even know if he could parent an infant. He wasn't exactly father material at the moment. He was twenty-three; and wasn't necessarily in a hurry to marry and start his own family. Of course he wanted one, but he was quite content with the life style he was living, or used to be.
It was then it hit him. This had turned his life upside down. There would probably be no more going out to pubs and bars with his mates from work at night, going to Quidditch matches, and probably squashed his vague ideas of quitting being an Auror and becoming a professional Quidditch player. No, that probably wouldn't happen now. He was quite comfortable with his life, and now… He didn't know. Was he supposed to just quit everything he had ever known? Tell his friends that 'hey mates, I can't go out because my wife who doesn't even love me wants me there to make it look like that we had a daughter and love each other and want to spend time together. Sorry'.
It was foreign to him. Sure, he had seen his fair share of Weasley babies, but he had never taken care of any of them. He was their fun Uncle Harry who spoiled them at Christmas and on their Birthdays, but never was he cut out to be a father to them. He was their crazy uncle who they pulled pranks with, but he was never seen as some kind of authority to them.
Now Sienna was an entirely different story. She was partially his responsibility now. Part of him wished he were bringing in his own child so it wouldn't be so bad, but since he and his last girlfriend, Ana, split up months ago, that wasn't going to happen. He seen Ana on a daily basis, and was positive she had never been impregnated by him. Besides, she would have told him in a heartbeat that she was expecting. She just wasn't the type of person to do that sort of thing. He didn't know what to do when Sienna cried. Hermione nearly clobbered him the previous day because he hadn't heated up her milk before he gave it to her. Again, how was he supposed to know?
He knew she didn't think he could do it. But who was she to judge him? After all, she was the one who took off to the Salem Witches' Institute to study and never bothered to write or come back. There was always some suspicion in the back of his mind about to why she never bothered to reply to any of his letters, but he had never voiced it. Eventually, he got the hint, and just stopped bothering to write to her. If she didn't care, neither would he. So he moved on with his life, and slowly, unconsciously moved away from his friends he had gone to school with. Sure, he saw them frequently, but those whom he went out with at night were total opposite. They were considered some of the most eligible bachelors in the Ministry, and now one of them had eloped … surely it would cause some sort of uproar, as the men would almost be losing one of their own.
Sighing, Harry walked into the master bathroom and stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower. He felt his muscles relax as the hot water cascaded down his back. Harry closed his eyes and leaned against the stall door and allowed the warmth and comfort to overtake him. Finally, he was home.
He stepped out of the shower nearly twenty minutes later feeling slightly better about himself. He dried himself off and shaved the stubble that had formed on his face away and dressed in a pair of comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. After he had pulled his top over his head, he realised that there was silence. Narrowing his eyebrows, Harry slowly pulled open his door and walked out into the corridor and looked over the side of the banister to see Hermione sitting quietly down in the sitting room, Sienna asleep in her arms.
His features softened and he turned away from the side and quietly walked down the stairs and into the sitting room. Hermione looked up as he entered.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "I'm just so overwhelmed right now with everything that has happened…"
"Yeah," he said stiffly as he wandered over to the bookcase.
"You have a lot of books there on the dark arts," she commented quietly.
"I need them for work." He responded as he lightly ran his fingers over the leather-bound spines. "You never know when they might come in handy."
Hermione said nothing as she watched him aimlessly pace the room.
"I don't know what to do with myself," he laughed hollowly, "I'm so used to working all the time."
"It's not good for you," she answered. "That's what Robert used to tell me. And he was right."
"Maybe it worked for you, but not for me. I'm on a forced six-month-leave. I've got nothing else to do with my life. There's nothing out there for me. So I just work."
"What do you mean, there's nothing out there for you?"
"There's just… nothing. None of my relationships seem to last for more than six months, all I do is work, and after work I go out and that's basically my life. I hardly play Quidditch anymore…"
"I-I don't know what to say, Harry."
"I'm sorry, Hermione… I just don't know."
x-x-x-x-x
The rest of the day seemed to pass by without incident. Hermione showed Harry the proper way to change Sienna's diaper and how to feed her properly. By the time night rolled around, Harry decided he was going to go out and meet his friends at their normal meeting place, as he hadn't seen them in months.
He had changed his jeans into a nicer pair and pulled on a tight black t-shirt and shrugged his loose jacket on over his shoulders and gave Hermione his mobile number in case she needed him, and promptly dissaparated with a loud pop.
When he opened his eyes, he was standing in a familiar dark ally way, his normal appearation point. He smoothed out his clothes and ran a hand through his hair before he stepped out of the ally way and onto the sidewalk. He breezed passed the security guard and the lengthy line, ignoring the protests of those waiting to get in. It was obvious that he came there often, and judging by his status, he was a very important person to the management.
His eyes scanned the crowd, and he located his co-workers at their usual table in the corner. Smiling slightly he pushed his way though the dancing crowd towards the bar and ordered himself a pint. He paid for his drink and slowly walked toward the table.
"Bless my soul, Harry's alive!" shouted one of them, and they all turned around and looked at him in unison.
Grinning, Harry shook his head and slid into the booth. "Fuck Andrew, so are you. Why aren't you dead yet?"
"I could ask you the same bloody thing."
"I'm immune to death," replied Harry dryly, "you should know that by now."
"Smart ass," muttered Andrew.
"How was Greece, Harry?" asked another.
"It was nice, it's better here. I'm not used to so much sun," he explained, "did I miss anything here?"
"Gordon Leftswitch got transferred to Bulgaria," said a man named Adam, "because he was sussed out by the ministry for sleeping with the trainees, and we all know that's not allowed."
"None of them were that good looking anyway."
"Neither was Leftswitch, so I imagine he took what he could get," replied Harry as he took a long drink from his mug.
"What about you, Harry?" asked Adam, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Harry stretched his arms over his head and ran his left hand through his hair. "I'm married, that's what's about me," he responded finally.
"Bullshit," said Andrew and Adam in unison.
"I'm not bullshitting," said Harry as he held up his left hand where the white-gold band reflected in the light.
"Who the hell did you marry?" Demanded Will.
Harry closed his eyes and exhaled. "Hermione Granger… She had my baby, and it's my duty to her to marry her and take care of our daughter."
"Seriously, you got a bird pregnant and didn't tell anyone?" said Andrew in disbelief, "Harry, mate, I know you want to get married some day, but getting an old school mate pregnant and not telling anyone a little extreme?"
"I-I wasn't thinking," he said, shifting uncomfortably. "I mean, I love her, she loves me… We probably would have ended up getting married anyway even if we didn't have Sienna."
"What's her full name?"
"Sienna Jane Potter," he said smoothly as he took a final drink from his mug as the waitress brought them another round. "She looks just like Hermione."
"I still don't believe it. Harry has a bloody baby," said Adam. "Does that mean you won't be coming here anymore?"
"I don't know," replied Harry honestly. "I suppose I'll just have to owe up to my rights as her father and stay home and help with the baby…"
Adam shook his head. "You're going to be an amazing father to that little girl, Harry."
x-x-x-x-x
It was well after two in the morning when Harry stumbled into the house. He found it odd that the lights were still on, and he fumbled with the light switch to turn them off, but stopped when Hermione entered the room.
"Don't," she said softly.
"It's really late," he said, his words slurring slightly. "I'm really tired, darling."
"Don't call me that," she replied, her tone never changing.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as she walked towards him, and stared into his glassy eyes.
"About what?"
"I'm not good enough," he continued as he slid down on the couch.
"For what, Harry?"
"For you and S-Sienna. I'm a stupid fucking mess, Hermione. Look at me!"
"It's okay, Harry," she whispered as she sat down beside him.
"No it's not. I'm not g-good enough, I can't do it. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do when she cries, Hermione. I almost gave her the wrong-"
"Harry you're drunk."
"No-"
"Yes you are," she said loudly.
"I'm sorry," he whispered again.
Hermione looked at his helpless form. She had never seen him like this. Sure, he had a pint or two after the war, but she had never seen him completely intoxicated and vulnerable. He was telling her things that he probably wouldn't have told her if he was completely sober, even if he wanted to.
She knew he would strive to be the best father he could be to Sienna, but his fears were probably starting to catch up to him.
"Harry…"
"I'm so sorry, Hermione. I can't be Robert for her."
"No, but you can be Harry. I'm sure she'd like that."
"I'm not a parent. I'm a stupid drunk."
"I think you need to go to sleep."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Don't want to," he whispered as he reached for her hand. "T-t-there's a sobering potion in the bathroom."
"Do you want me to get it for you?"
"Yeah," he replied, rubbing his glassy eyes.
Hermione nodded and slowly stood up but Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her back down on the couch. Before she knew what was happening, Harry had placed his warm mouth over hers. She didn't know how to react. Was he only kissing her because he was drunk? Or did he actually want her? Over the past few days she had been with him, he had never shown any type of romantic want towards her.
She could taste the lager in his mouth as his lips continued to devour hers, and she had subconsciously woven her fingers into his tangled mane of hair. Even under the influence, Harry could still do wonderful things with his mouth, she thought. Did she really want to do this with Harry? After all, he was no longer the lanky seventeen-year-old she remembered. He had proven that the first time she had seen him. If they weren't to consummate their marriage within the year, it would be annulled, and they would be found out and their protection against Sienna would be useless.
When she was in Hogwarts, she used to have a silly schoolgirl crush on Harry. After all, he was Harry Potter! Who didn't fancy him? He was good looking then, and he sure as hell was now. She slowly opened her eyes and hers met his as he pulled away from her, slightly flushed in the face.
"Hermione," he murmured.
"Harry," she whispered back.
Was she even ready for this? She still loved Robert. He would always hold a special place in her heart. After all, he was Sienna's father. But could she love Harry the way she loved Robert? Could she and Harry actually pull through this, and perhaps even have their own children together? Or was this just drunk sex to him?
"Stop thinking, Hermione," he whispered in her ear. His breath was hot on her neck.
"But-"
"Just stop…" he continued as he pressed hot kisses on her neck.
Hermione nodded mutely and brought his face up to hers. "I want you to have that sobering potion." She whispered.
Harry nodded and slowly climbed off her and helped her to her feet. She took his arm and led him up the staircase, making sure she didn't trip. Harry stepped into the bathroom in his bedroom and fumbled with the cabinet door and finally pulled it open. He grabbed a small vile of light blue liquid and pulled the cap off. He glanced down into the vile and at his reflection in the mirror. He shook his head and quickly downed the contents and stumbled into the wall as it took affect.
Suddenly, everything came into sharper focus, and his thoughts became more coherent, and the feeling between his thighs suddenly felt very real. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, and he definitely looked a mess. How could she ever want him? His eyes were still red rimmed and he just looked… worn. Sighing, he hopelessly ran his hand through his hair and slowly opened the door to see Hermione sitting on the edge of his bed. She looked up at him expectantly. He smiled weakly as he sat down beside her and put his head in his hands.
"Are you alright?" she asked as she pulled his fingers away from his face and stared into his deep green eyes.
"I'm fine," he assured as she wove her arms around his neck and held him close. He immediately felt a sense of warmth and comfort.
"Do you want this?" she asked quietly.
"Are you ready? Because-"
"Make me forget, Harry," she whispered as she lightly traced his lips with her fingers.
Harry nodded slowly and gathered her in his arms and slowly pressed his lips against hers as they fell backwards onto his bed. Hermione noted she felt safe and secure in Harry's arms, strangely, something she never felt when she had been with Robert. Sighing inwardly, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and focused her attention on Harry.
His hands slowly made their way down her sides and she felt them slip under the hem of her thin nightshirt. She arched her back as his fingers lightly brushed her nipples, hardening them instantly at his touch. Hermione felt him smile slightly against her lips before he pulled away from her and she slowly lifted her top over her head.
She suddenly felt uneasy under Harry's intense gaze as she watched his eyes slowly take in every inch of her upper body. She had never known a man with a gaze so intense as Harry's. He finally locked eyes with her and smiled.
"You're beautiful," he whispered breathlessly.
"You're wearing too much," she replied as she took hold of the ends of his shirt and pushed it up his chest and over his head.
Harry truly had an amazing physique. He wasn't well built, but he was indeed defined. It was definitely something she could get used to, she mused. Biting her lower lip, she slowly leaned towards him and wrapped her arms around his topless form and pressed herself against him and she soon found herself being pushed back down on the mattress.
It seemed to take forever for them to remove the rest of their clothing. Finally, she was naked, with Harry, in his bed as her hands roamed free over his body. She slowly trailed the tips of her fingers down his chest and abdomen and stopped just above his member. She looked up at him expectantly, and he returned her heated gaze, and gently stroked the side of her face, as if asking permission to continue on. She kissed him lightly, playfully pulling on his bottom lip. She felt him exhale and watched him smile as he gathered her into his arms and slowly brought his body on top of hers.
Harry gently pushed her thighs apart with his knee and settled himself between her legs. Hermione slowly slid her hand up the side of his face as he began to enter her and slowly enveloped him into a heated kiss as he buried himself deep within her.
She couldn't help but moan as he moved within her and wrap her legs around his waist, giving him better access. Harry took this opportunity to speed up his ministrations and she heard him make a noise in the back of his throat, signalling he was near the end.
But she came before he did, and all she could do was lie there in his arms, shaking pleasurably as he buried himself deep between her folds and lose himself inside of her. Harry finally mustered up the strength to remove himself from her and he rolled onto his side, breathless.
"You're amazing, she whispered as she laid her head on his chest and allowed him to wrap his arms around her and hold her impossibly close to him.
Harry said nothing as he wove his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck, and she soon felt his breathing even out, signalling he had finally fallen asleep.
As she lay there in his arms, it was then she realised she might actually have a chance at loving Harry Potter.
A/N: I'm sorry it's a little late than my normal updating times, but time does become consuming after you get increasingly frustrated with the chapter after you write it over three times. Finally, I'm still not totally sure about it, but it really doesn't matter what I think. It's about what you lot, the readers think.