Harry refused to return to the house. He couldn't face her after the things he had said to her. Sure, they were harsh, and he meant every word of them. He was trying to be some sort of positive influence on her. He was feeling something towards her, and it scared him a little. Every time he made her laugh, he felt a tiny bit proud of himself. It made him feel accomplished. Just hearing her tinkling laugh made his day, and she was probably furious beyond belief with him at the moment.
Harry dug his hands in his pockets as he entered a fair looking hotel. He glanced at his watch as he slowly approached the front desk. The middle aged woman behind the desk looked up from behind the desk as he came towards her.
"Can I help you, sir?" she asked kindly.
"Do you have any unavailable rooms?" he replied quietly.
"Yes. I'll need your credit card and some form of proof of your identity."
Harry nodded mutely and produced a credit card from the back of his wallet (he rarely used it, but it often came in handy), and his drivers licence.
The woman's claw-like hand came up above the desk and snatched the cards from his hands. Her eyes glanced at his picture and then darted to him several times. Finally, she seemed satisfied.
"Well Mr. Potter," she began professionally, "How long will you be staying with us?"
"Just for tonight," he said finally. "I'm not awake enough to drive all the way back to Wycombe."
The woman nodded as she typed his information into the computer.
Minutes later, he was in the lift on the way up to his room. He almost considered phoning home just to let Hermione know he'd be back sometime tomorrow. As much as he was furious with her, and she him, he did not want her to worry about him.
Harry quietly entered his room and didn't bother to take in his surroundings. He threw his jacket carelessly onto one of the plush chairs and quietly turned on his mobile phone as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He had over 10 missed calls; all from home.
She must have tried to call him several times. Before he had time to register what was going on, the phone began to vibrate in his hands. It was his home number.
He slowly pressed the 'answer' key and lifted the mobile to his ear.
"Hello," he said calmly.
"Harry?" came Hermione's quivering voice.
Harry exhaled and raked his fingers through his hair. "Yes?" he answered finally.
"Where are you?"
"London. I'm staying in a hotel tonight."
"Please come home," she pleaded.
"Not tonight, Hermione," he replied, "I can't … I just can't."
"I'm sorry," she said desperately.
"We'll talk when I get home tomorrow, alright? I just can't deal with this right now."
"Harry please come home," she tried once more. He tried to ignore the desperateness in her voice.
"Tomorrow, Hermione," said Harry seriously, "We'll figure everything out tomorrow."
"Alright," she responded dully, "Please be careful."
"I will," he assured her, "Give Sienna my love."
"I will," she said quickly, and the line went dead.
Harry dropped the phone on the bed beside him and fell backwards on it, fully clothed. He was going to be in for a bumpy ride, he mused as he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
x-x-x-x-x
When Harry awoke the next morning, he was fully aware that the bed he was in was not even his. He was still wearing the same clubbing clothes he was wearing the previous night before he and Hermione had fought.
Yawning loudly, Harry struggled to sit up. He gazed around the sunlit room and finally his eyes rested on the clock sitting on the desk. It was nearly ten. He quickly crawled out of bed and into the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later, he was standing in front of the front desk paying for his room. He hated how they all went through the same process of thanking him and hoped he enjoyed his stay. The only reason he had ended up there in the first place was because he had gotten into a fight with his 'wife' and had left the house in a fit of fury and disappointment, and disapparated almost three hours away, and decided that he didn't want to go home. He almost felt like telling the woman, but thought the better of it as he signed his name with a flourish and quickly exited the hotel without another word.
Harry walked down the sidewalk for several blocks until he stopped abruptly in front of a small, inviting café. He slowly entered and quickly ordered a muffin and a small coffee. He thanked the kind woman and carelessly dropped his change in the small porcelain bowl on the counter and slipped back outside unnoticed and into the alleyway and concealed himself behind a dumpster and disapparated with a loud crack.
When Harry opened his eyes, he was standing in the small, secluded woods in the area behind his home. The weather wasn't considerably different from London. It was a little chillier, he mused dully as he made his way to the back door of the house that led into the kitchen. He prayed to Merlin that Hermione wasn't up yet. But, since there was a tiny little thing called Sienna, she was probably up.
Sighing, Harry slowly produced his keys from his jacket pocket and silently unlocked the door and slipped inside. The kitchen was deserted when he entered. He let out the breath he had been holding. She was probably upstairs with Sienna.
Harry silently unzipped his jacket and carefully laid it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and turned to the empty coffee pot and began to make himself a cup of java.
He distantly heard Sienna's wailing from upstairs, and he flinched. He instantly felt the need to abandon his coffee and join her side. To let her know that he was there, and that everything was going to be okay.
But, as Hermione often made the point of him knowing, Sienna was her daughter. Exhaling, Harry poured the steaming coffee into one of the glossy black mugs hanging off the rack and sat down at the kitchen table. He set the steaming mug down and rested his head in his hands.
"Harry?" came Hermione's soft voice.
Harry looked up instantly and met her gaze. Her eyes were bloodshot and rimmed. It was obvious she hadn't slept at all the previous night. For some reason, he didn't feel sorry for her at all. He didn't pull his eyes away from hers as she nervously sat down across from him.
"I don't know what to say," she whispered, "I-"
"-I don't want to hear it," his voice low and seemingly dangerous. She wondered if this was the tone he used whole interrogating prisoners and rogue wizards. "I don't want to listen to apologies, Hermione. I wouldn't be here even if I wanted to."
Hermione nodded quietly as she fidgeting nervously with the hem over her jumper.
Harry lowered his eyes back down to his steaming black coffee. He slowly wrapped his fingers around his mug and lifted it to his lips and took a drink. He enjoyed the warmth flowing down his throat. After he had set his mug down, he finally raised his gaze and studied her face.
"Why didn't you reply to any of my letters?"
"Harry," she began, "it's complicated…"
"I want to know, Hermione," he said sharply.
"I didn't want anyone to know," she admitted quietly as look of shame crossed her features.
Harry caught her gaze, and Hermione recoiled inwardly at the look in his eyes.
"Know what?" he said flatly. He already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear her say it.
"That I-I-I was associated with you," she said, her voice just above a whisper. He could barely hear her. "I wanted to be Hermione Granger. Not Hermione Granger, Harry Potter's side kick."
He tore his stare away from her and rose to his feet and said nothing.
"I don't know why, Harry. They didn't know who I was there. No one asked about you or Ron. They just wanted to know what England was like."
Harry let out a hollow laugh as he shoved his hands deeply in the pockets of his jeans.
"That's funny," he said dryly, "it sounds exactly like something I would have done."
"No, it's not."
"Yeah," he continued, "it is. I even considered it. Buggering off to some foreign country. But you beat me to it, and it was angry. But ultimately, someone had to stay behind to take care of Ron until he got himself straightened away. I'm glad I stayed."
"I'm sorry," she said finally, "whether you want to believe or not."
Harry rolled his eyes and slid on top of the granite countertop.
"I never doubted that. You fell in love. I can't hold that against you. I wasn't going to sit around here waiting for you."
Hermione nodded her understandment. "What about last night?"
"What about the past three months?" he shot back.
"I loved Rob," she said quietly. "He loved Sienna and I more than anything. Then he was killed, and I was in such a state of shock. I said yes to them, they said that marrying me off right away was the best way to keep Sienna safe. I was a mess. I only had my daughter … if marrying you was going to keep her safe; I was going to do it. But Sienna liked you. She was quite taken with you.
"I couldn't stand it. You aren't her father. You're not Rob. I wanted Sienna to know who her father was … I felt just horrid letting another man raise my husband's little girl."
Harry lowered his eyes and examined his fingernails.
"I wasn't trying to replace Rob," he said at last, "I was just trying to be good to her. Would you rather I just ignored her completely-"
"-of course not-"
"-and buggered off all the time?"
"Harry-"
"No. I know I partied a lot before you and Sienna came here and moved in. I had a reputation a little more than "The-Boy-Who-Lived" … But I had- I have a duty now. I don't care if she's not mine, Hermione. I honestly don't. I would love to perhaps have a child of my own some day. But it's an awfully big maybe, isn't it? I'm not trying to replace Robert, Hermione. I wouldn't in a million years. I'm just trying to be a good … father to her."
"You're doing a remarkable job," she admitted stubbornly, "part of me doesn't want to admit it, but it's true. She cried last night for you after I had finally gotten you on the mobile," she confessed, "I couldn't get her to stop."
"Yeah," said Harry, "I figured she might have."
"Why didn't you come back?" she asked.
"She's your daughter," he said, almost mockingly.
"I didn't mean that. I never meant it. I told you-"
"I know you told me," he interrupted, "I don't care about that. How do I know that after we get this sorted out, you will act any different around me?"
"Trust me again?" she whispered. "Could you possibly trust me again?"
"I can try," he responded finally. "It doesn't mean I trust you fully."
Hermione exhaled and shot up from her seat at the table and into his arms, and began sobbing uncontrollably into his chest.
"I was so worried," she admitted, her voice muffled in his shirt, "I couldn't stand it if I lost you too."
"I'm not going anywhere, Hermione," said Harry. "I promise."
"I'm so sorry," she whispered as she held onto his neck tightly, "I just don't know what to do anymore…"
"One day at a time, Hermione. Just take it one day at a time."
Harry soon felt her breathing even out on his neck. He carefully scooped her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. He quietly pushed open the door and laid her down on her soft bed. Harry pulled her blankets over body before leaving the room. He wasted no time entering the room beside hers, which was Sienna's. He entered the room and walked over the crib and looked down at his bright-eyed step daughter. Sienna instantly reached up with her chubby little arms and reached out for him. Smiling faintly, Harry bent down and lifted her into his arms. He immediately felt a sense of comfort as he held her in his arms.
Harry slowly sank down on the small sofa and quietly watched as Sienna became determined to work the watch off his wrist. It honestly scared him a little that someone so small and that he had known for such a short time meant so much to him.
That little girl meant the world to him, and he couldn't see his own future without her or Hermione in it, regardless of how awkward their marriage was or not. He was going to try and make it work for Sienna. He didn't want her to grow up without both parents like he did. No one, in his opinion, deserved that.
A small smile graced Sienna's tiny features as she caught him watching her with interest. She abandoned his wrist and reached up and dragged her tiny palm across his scruffy face. Harry grabbed her chubby little fist and pressed a light kiss to her fingers, causing to emit a tiny baby giggle.
Harry let out a laugh as he got to his feet and lifted her in the air and spun her around, causing to laugh louder. He brought her back down and held her securely in his arms and quietly exited the room. He walked down the steps, and glanced at the clock on the wall. He decided to go outside and collect the post. He unlocked the front door and immediately noticed that the lawn needed to be cut. Perhaps he'd do it once Hermione woke up. Harry stepped out of the house and began walking down the front walk when someone hollered at him.
"Excuse me!" he heard a male voice shout.
Harry held Sienna tightly to his chest as he slowly turned around to see his neighbour crossing his lawn in his direction.
"Hello," said Harry coolly.
"Are you the young woman who lives here's husband?" he asked seriously.
"I am," replied Harry, "why?"
"I was just concerned. You two were doing an awful lot of shouting last night I just wanted-"
"We're fine," Harry cut in before he could finish. "I was just stressed out. I didn't mean to shout at her. Sorry if we disturbed you."
"Sir I-"
"I assure you we're fine," said Harry seriously as he collected the post, "I wouldn't be here right now if we weren't. If you excuse me, I want to get my daughter back inside before she gets cold." Said Harry as he pushed past the man and back into the house. He quietly relocked the door and closed the curtains to the sitting room. Harry climbed the steps as quietly as he could, dropping the post on the banister along the way. He cringed inwardly as the final step creaked under his foot as he stepped onto the landing.
"Harry?" he heard Hermione's quiet, muffled voice from her bedroom.
"Yes?" he replied as he appeared in the doorway.
"Come here, both of you," she smiled tiredly.
"You weren't asleep for very long," commented Harry.
"I don't nap very well during the day," she replied honestly as he surrendered Sienna to her, "I'm sure she was absolutely thrilled to see you."
Harry shifted uneasily on her bed, but said nothing. Hermione smiled at his uneasiness.
"She adores you," said Hermione finally. "I think I'm okay admitting that now."
"Thank you," he replied as he slumped back into her pillows and silently watched them.
"Harry," she continued, bringing him out of his reverie.
"Yes," he replied quickly, focusing on Hermione. "Do you need anything?"
"No," she assured, "I … just …" she stuttered as she stared into his eyes. It was the first time she appreciated the greenness of them.
"Hermione?"
"I want to make this work," she said seriously.
"Make what," he asked cautiously.
"This," she said, gesturing to Sienna, "us. Our family."
"Are you sure?" he confronted, as he took Sienna back into his arms, "I'm alright-"
"No you're not alright living like this. I know it bothers you that we're not even acting like we're married. I'm ready now."
Harry stared at her in disbelief as she slowly moved towards him. Hermione lifted their daughter out of his arms and quietly exited the room. Hermione reappeared minutes later and Harry stood up to meet her.
"So," he said awkwardly.
Hermione said nothing a she walked towards him and slowly wrapped her arms around his lean waist and buried her face in his chest. Harry embraced her tiny frame and rested his chin on the top of her head.
Hermione moved away from him and he slowly wove his hands around her neck and slowly bent his head down towards hers. Hermione nodded slightly, almost as if she was giving him permission. Harry pulled her body flush against his and pressed his mouth against hers in their first real kiss.