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There all along by hermy_madness
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There all along

hermy_madness

Ceremony over, Harry and the Weasley's were free to look at the memorial in greater detail. Walking round the side he slowly began to read the epitaph.

Those who are remembered here gave their lives to ensure the continued safety not only of the wizarding world, but of every human and magical creature alike. There is no safety without freedom, and no freedom without sacrifice. Those who must continue on into the new world they have forged must remember that those we have loved never truly leave us.

He smiled slightly as he read this last line.

Ron noticed. "What?"

"Dumbledore said that." Harry looked across at his friend. " About those we love never truly leaving us. The night after we saved Sirius in third year, when I thought I saw my Dad, he said that to me."

Ron looked back at the inscription. "Smart guy that Dumbledore, knew what he was talking about."

As Harry continued to move around the monument the final side came into view. Again it was covered in text, but this time it was a list of names of all those who had been killed in the defence of Hogwarts. Fred's name was there, and Lupin and Tonk's - although she was listed as Nymphadora Lupin - Colin Creevey, even, Harry felt his stomach clench, even Winky was there. He hadn't realised that she had died, hadn't even seen her fighting, no one had told him… Full of guilt Harry turned away from the memorial, only to swear volubly and turn back again as he spotted Rita Skeeter marching towards them.

"Ron, come on we've got to move!" He grabbed his friend's arm and hauled him off towards the tent hoping to lose her in the crowds around it.

"Harry," Ron protested, "what's going on now? Where are we going?"

"Rita Skeeter's behind us. Let's just get out of her way shall we?"

Chancing a glance back over his shoulder he saw her craning around trying to catch sight of them. Dressed today in a set of fantastically overstated, acid green robes, her narrowed eyes raked the group gathered around the tent as she impatiently flicked her poisonous quill at her trailing photographer. Desperately Harry dragged Ron behind the tent flap just seconds before she spotted them.

"That woman!" exclaimed Ron. "She does my head in."

Harry grinned as he looked around the tent. One side was filled with more tables and chairs and at the other -

"A buffet!" Ron immediately made his way towards it followed by an amused Harry.

As Ron helped himself to several types of cold meat sandwich, Harry checked once again that Rita hadn't managed to follow them into the marquee. Satisfied that they had eluded her for the moment he was just about to turn back to the food when he heard someone call his name and a familiar haughty face sailed out of the crowd. Andromeda Tonks looked older than she had when they last met; there were a few grey hairs creeping in and grief had added lines to her face, but the look she gave him was full of warmth.

"Harry, it really is nice to see you again - under more pleasant circumstances too. I don't believe you've met your godson yet?" She indicated the electric blue haired bundle in her arms.

For a second Harry wasn't sure what to say. Confronted with Remus' son he couldn't help but feel that he should be the one standing here instead of Harry. When Harry had seen a picture of him back in April, Teddy Lupin had been nothing more than a tiny scrap of humanity, but now he was beginning to turn into a real little person. A set of dark, inquisitive eyes were turned upon Harry as his grandmother pointed him out to Teddy. There was something about the little baby that reminded Harry very strongly of it's father, it wasn't a particular feature or a look but…

Suddenly the baby chuckled and reached out a tiny, chubby hand to pull at the front of Harry's jumper, distracting him from his thoughts.

"Hey little guy," Harry tickled his little godson, "wow, look how much you've grown." Now he realised that he hadn't even bothered to visit him all summer. Some godparent he was turning out to be.

"How have you been Mrs Tonks?"

"Oh holding up I suppose, soldiering on. Teddy keeps me company don't you little man? Looking after him keeps me occupied and stops me from dwelling on things. Ted and Dora wouldn't have wanted me to fall apart."

Once again Harry found himself in the situation he had been in countless times at the start of the summer. Wanting to say something to comfort the bereaved and not knowing what. Andromeda however carried on, "could you hold Teddy for me a moment Harry, you can both get to know each other, there's someone I've just spotted that I want to speak to?"

"Oh - er - erm… yeah I suppose so." Awkwardly he accepted the boy who promptly reached up to try and take his glasses.

"Thank you, I won't be a minute. Oh and Ronald," she turned to the red-head standing with his mouth half full, "that was a wonderful speech you gave. Truly inspirational." And with a regal nod in their direction she swept off in search of someone.

Harry turned back to look at Ron in time to see him looking guiltily pleased.

"What?" Ron asked seeing Harry's look. "Don't look at me like that, I haven't done anything."

Harry continued to look sceptical, but didn't pursue it further because he had to concentrate on not dropping Teddy - who had started to squirm as soon as his grandmother had disappeared. Looking around he spotted a free seat not far away and carried the baby over to it all the while making what he hoped were cooey baby noises. As he sat and arranged the infant on his lap, Teddy gave a huge yawn and promptly turned his hair a more sombre, midnight shade of blue.

"You know Teddy," Harry couldn't help but laugh, "you are one cool kid!"

Eventually Harry managed to settle the baby in a position that seemed comfortable for them both. Teddy wrapped his tiny fist around Harry's forefinger and began to dose.

"You're a natural father Harry."

"Ron when you pay me compliments it's usually because you want something or you're trying to hide something. What have you done?"

"Nothing! I'm hurt that you have so little trust in me." His friend affected mock outrage, before looking sheepish. "Well, okay then. You know how my speech was quite good? All those bits about a world of champagne or whatever and walling of pain? Well I… I got that mostly from Hermione." His ears turned red as he looked studiously at Teddy.

"Hermione? Ah that explains so much. She's still writing to you then? You haven't fallen out?" He tried to sound flippant, but inside he was quite hurt. He suspected that Ron had still been getting letters, having confirmation of that though made him… what? Jealous? Of Ron and Hermione?

"Yeah. I meant to ask you about that, what do you think about this Joey guy she's met?"

Harry paused, somehow dreading what Ron would say next. "Joey? Joey who?"

"Oh, has she not mentioned him to you? Well she only mentioned him to me briefly, but I think they might be dating. Not that I mind I mean I've got… well I just thought that she - never mind."

Harry felt the blood leave his face as his heart dropped to his shoes. It took him a few moments to fully comprehend what Ron had said and as a result he didn't hear the rest of his sentence. Hermione was dating someone? Her Aussie neighbour? She was dating someone who wasn't Ron or, if he was being perfectly honest, who wasn't Harry? Because when his brain finally started processing coherent thoughts again it was the first thing that popped into his head - that should be me. Suddenly all the awkwardness and strangeness he had felt around Hermione was explained. He was in love with his best friend and he had been too blind and too stupid to realise it until now. It had taken losing her to make him see that, and now it was too late. Over the last year, maybe even his entire time at Hogwarts, he had been so preoccupied with defeating Voldemort that he had never once stopped to ask himself who had never once abandoned him despite all the times she had been told to do so. He had never stopped to think what that made her mean to him and how it made her different from everybody else. Cho had been an adolescent fantasy, whilst Ginny had been the opportunity to pretend he was normal. Being with someone who was removed from it all for those brief months had been the calm before the storm that he needed to continue. All those weeks in the tent and he had never considered Hermione as anything more than a friend, partly because of Ron, and partly because he had never expected to live out the year and so had unconsciously suppressed anything that might require a future. Now he had one and Hermione wasn't in it.

"Harry." He suddenly became aware that Ron was talking to him, waving his hand in front of his unresponsive face.

"Hmm, yeah, what?"

"You look like you've seen a ghost mate, what's up?"

Remembering Ron's misgivings about Harry and Hermione's relationship earlier in the year, he desperately cast around for a reasonable excuse. "I was just thinking… how much like Remus Teddy is." Suddenly a thought occurred to him that momentarily distracted him from his own troubles. "Hey do you think he inherited the whole Werewolf thing?"

"He hasn't," Andromeda appeared behind them, "his mother's metamorphmagus gene cancels that out apparently. He would either have one or the other and thankfully he took after Dora." She smiled at Harry. "He seems to have taken to you, he usually doesn't settle with strangers so easily. Thank you for keeping an eye on him, I'll take him back now." Careful not to wake the now sleeping baby, she gently lifted from Harry's lap and tucked him into her shoulder. "You must come and visit us as often as you can Harry. It was nice to see you both." And with a last smile at them she carried Teddy off into the crowd.

After Ron had eaten his fill, the two boys left the tent - cautiously checking for any sign of Rita Skeeter - and moved away from the crowds to wander round the lakeside. Ron began to reminisce about days gone by at Hogwarts, occasionally making a comment involving Luna, but Harry was only half listening. He was still mentally kicking himself over how he'd handled things with Hermione. Now that he thought about he should have recognized his feelings much earlier, how he always understood her more than Ron ever had - to the point where neither of them needed to say anything just communicate with a look. The way he had felt so dreadfully afraid when he thought that she had died in the Department of Mysteries, the look they had shared at Bill and Fleur's wedding. The alteration in their relationship over the last few months and the way she had made him feel when she held his hand. No matter what he had chosen to do, Hermione had always been by his side whether she thought he was right or not, even when Ron had abandoned him. Hermione was always the one who helped him, encouraged and cajoled him into doing the right thing at the right time. Without her he would never have managed to stay alive long enough to defeat Voldemort.

But she didn't love him and she never had. She had chosen Ron and now she had chosen this Joey bloke whoever he was. Harry would always be the other best friend, the one that needed looking after, the one she only wrote to occasionally now. Perhaps if he had realised earlier… but he couldn't force her to -

"Erm Harry?" Ron's slightly strained voice cut through his self-pitying meanderings. "Don't look around now but…"

Harry turned to see what Ron was talking about and groaned involuntarily. A small red headed figure was striding across the lawn towards them, a familiar determined look on her face. Harry licked his lips nervously. "Ginny."

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