Luna knew not to push him so she held his hand, silently encouraging him to open up more. Ben knew he had to put a voice to his thoughts or he'd spontaneously combust, so he forged ahead.
"Aunt Luna, all of my life I have felt like an outsider. Even with you & Neville & Mum. I can't talk to my closest friends about it. I'm different. I'm so so different."
Luna squeezed his hand. "All the more reason for you to try to get to know your dad. ''your dad is a highly intelligent man and so is your mother''..''These feelings- listen to me Benedict James, he felt the same way growing up. It tortured him, until he hooked up with your mum. She loved him into sanity. No one has a perfect life Ben; that's a fallacy created by the press. You feel alienated, . Everyone does."
"That's just it, Aunt Luna," he said as a tear rolled down his cheek. "For my whole life there was someone who understood- but he chose not to be here. I don't think I can accept that." ''I'm the son of the great Harry Potter''
Luna got up & wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind & held him as he cried. "Someone is here now
who understands. Don't walk away from your chance, Ben."
===========
Hermione lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Luna had owled a few hours before & told her about Ben's visit. She had waited all evening for his return so they could talk more but he hadn't come home. She was a mass of nerves, worrying about both Ben & what would happen when they would see each other again. She had sent Harry upstairs hours ago to avoid a large conflict upon her son's return; now she was counting the knots in the ceiling beams above her bed.
Suddenly she sat bolt upright. He was home; she could feel him. She decided to wait for him to come in to say good night to her, as he always did when she was already in bed when he came home.
She heard the sound of his bedroom door close & she rose & made her way down the hall to his room. She froze in her tracks at what she heard next.
Click.
The sound of his door being locked. He never locked his door. Never. She retreated to her own room & lay down to cry
again.
=========
Hermione was still tired when she awoke, having tossed & turned all night. She wanted to speak to her son as soon as he was up so she rose & went toward his room. Finding it empty she assumed he was in the kitchen having breakfast. Finding that room empty also she looked out the window to find his broom gone.
Her eyes narrowed & the hair stood up on her arms. He thought he could avoid her? He thought wrong.
After quickly dressing she made her way to his prep school. Marching through the halls to his class she could feel her anger pulsing through her veins. Arriving at the door, she knocked loudly and waited for the teacher to appear.
At the sound of the knock the bottom dropped out of Ben's stomach. He knew immediately that she was there. And that she was pissed. This wasn't going to be pretty. He didn't wait for the teacher to tell him to come up front, he just rose & made his way to the door.
Standing in front of each other in the empty hallway they both began to speak at once. She held her hand up for him to stop.
"First things first. Don't you ever disappear & not tell me where you are going again. Second. Don't you ever come home & not talk to me before going to bed. Third. Don't ever think you can avoid me or a problem between us- we talk things out in our house. I am not to be ignored until I go away. I'm not going away Benedict. Neither is this problem until we all discuss it."
"Look Mum, I'm sorry if I worried you, but I'm not going to accept this lying down like you did. And I'm not going to discuss it with you until I'm ready to. Especially not here & now. I need some space & I don't think I'm out of line asking for it either."
He was being defiant. At least as defiant as she had ever seen him get. She knew that they would get nowhere if they continued on this path. "Fine. You'll get your space. But remember this Benedict James- we ARE ALL going to deal with this. All of us, understand? This is not going away. HE is not going away."
Ben looked at her for a long moment before turning to go back to his class.
// I love you Ben. //
He looked back at her in time to see a tear roll down her face. Leaning over & kissing her cheek he choked out "me too Mm." Then he disappeared behind the classroom door.
Tuesday and Wednesday passed with no discussion of the topic. How can you discuss something when one of the parties isn't around to speak? Ben had made himself scarce, not wanting to see either of his parents and especially not wanting to see them together. Hermione gave him his requested space even though it was killing her, relying on Luna to reinforce that what she was doing was right.
By Wednesday night she was wound like a top. Her son wasn't home, they still hadn't talked, and she didn't know how to resolve everything- she felt like she was going to explode. She needed to release some tension.
Harry sensed her arrival before she knocked on the loft door. Sliding it open he found her barefoot, clad only in a nightshirt & looking at him in a way that made his entire body stiffen.
"Make me forget for a while Harry. Please."
Wordlessly he reached out for her hand & led her into his bedroom. Standing behind her he pulled her sleepwear over her head & began to rub her shoulders in small circles. Leaning in to brush his lips from her ear down her neck he used their connection to send her an avalanche of feelings of love. His hands glided down her arms & he took her hands in his & wrapped both of their arms around her waist. They stood there for a while as she soaked in all that was her Harry. Her friend. Her protector. The love of her life.
She turned to face him & looked into his eyes, seeking to lose herself in their depths. His hands gently brushed her hair back before he began placing soft kisses all over her face. When he finally kissed her lips her thoughts had all melted away until the only thing running through her mind was the way he was making her feel.
He couldn't stop kissing her. Not that he didn't want to do a lot of other things to her also, but at the moment he couldn't seem to remove his mouth from hers. He was also stressed out; the past couple of days had been hell watching & worrying about her. He hadn't seen their son at all; he came home late at night & left early in the morning. He was honouring Hermione's wish to give him space but it was killing him to see what it was doing to them both. She was right. They both needed to forget for a while.
While their mouths were fused together their hands found other places to explore. Hermione ran hers up & down his arms, into his hair, down his chest, anywhere she could reach. Harry's hand had taken a more direct path, moving down her back to her bottom, then around to the outside of her hips & up, then back over her bottom in a slow massage. She broke away from him long enough to pull his shirt over his head & then she attached her lips to his chest, kissing, sucking, & licking her away around that glorious expanse of skin. Her hands did not remain idle as they popped open the snap to his trousers & lowered the zipper. Sliding both hands inside she drew a sharp breath as she realized there was no barrier between his pants & his skin. "Harry…" she growled out as she began to move him backwards until they were at the bed. Hermione quickly pulled the offending garments down & pushed him down to sit on the edge of the bed; then kneeling down she pulled them off completely. Running her hands over him she parted his thighs & moved in between his legs. She returned her lips to his chest as she trailed her tongue over his stomach, gently urging him to lay back. Moving downward she smiled as she heard his sharp intake of breath when she took him fully into her mouth.
Harry's head was spinning. Her hands & her tongue where driving him insane, drawing her name from his lips in a continuous moan. His hands found her hair & he lost himself in the sensations she was causing as her mouth moved up & down his shaft. Only when he felt her hand cup him & her fingers started to play with his sac did he come out of his passion-induced fog and jerk away from her choking out, "Mione, no!"
Hermione looked up at him in confusion. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
Placing his hands under her arms Harry lifted her up & leaned his forehead against hers while gasping for breath as he attempted to regain some semblance of control. "No, baby, I'm just so close, & I'm not ready to be finished yet." After a minute he looked at her with such desire she thought she'd faint. "This is about you, anyway."
Moving them both onto the bed he climbed over her & groaned as he looked down to see her naked beneath him, hair wild across the pillow, skin flushed, & her eyes heavy with lust & staring at his mouth. He leaned his weight on his arms so as not to touch her, & then bent his head & ran his tongue around her lips before capturing them in a long, sensual kiss.
Once again he couldn't stop & they lay together kissing & touching. "Oh god Mione," he panted out as they broke apart for air, "if this was all we ever did I'd still be happy."
"Well I'm not as easy to please," she said as she grabbed his face with both hands for another kiss.
"Tell me what pleases you Hermione." It was a command growled into her ear & it made her gasp at its forwardness.
He licked his way from her ear to her shoulder & nipped at it as one hand began to tease the outside of her body from breast to hip. He could feel her desire for him & also her embarrassment at the thought of answering his question.
"Please baby, tell me what you want." Softer, coaxing her this time.
Hermione gasped again & felt a scorching heat race through her body, both from embarrassment & from the thoughts of just what she did want him to do to her. "Harry, I can't…"
"Yes you can Mione; tell me where you want me to touch you."
"Oh…" She swallowed hard, trying to find the courage. Deciding to help ease her anxiety he cupped her breast & rubbed his thumb over her already hard nipple. "Do you want me to touch you there?"
"Yes." It was hardly more than a whisper.
After fondling her a moment longer he dragged his hand down her torso & ran a finger lightly through her curls.
"How 'bout there?"
"Yes." It was louder & more forceful this time, as she rolled her head back & opened her legs to him. He ran his finger around the outside of her lips & she began to gyrate her hips, trying to urge him on.
"Tell me Mione."
She no longer cared about being embarrassed. All she could think about was how much she wanted him to touch her.
"Inside me. I want it inside of me." As soon as the words were uttered she felt a finger slide in & begin to stroke her slowly. Then his voice was in her ear again.
"Is there anything you'd like me to do with my tongue?"
A loud moan was his answer as he bent to her breast, & placing his lips around a nipple he sucked as his tongue quickly flicked over it. She grabbed his head & held him to her while continuing to move on his hand.
He pulled his head up to take in the sight of her writhing under his attentions. There was something else she wanted but was to shy to ask. But he had no intention of making this easy.
"Hermione, is there some other place you'd like to feel my tongue?"
"Oh god Harry" was all she could say.
"Mione…"
"Yes, Harry, please, please…"
"Tell me mione- is it here?" he said as he lightly rubbed his thumb over her clit.
"Yes, please!" She was desperate now, twisting her body as she attempted to move more fully into his hand.
Not being able to wait any longer he moved his head between her legs & snaked out his tongue over her length; finding her nub he tongued it as he had her nipples.
Hermione was in a frenzy. The feeling of his fingers & his tongue working together were indescribable & she couldn't contain herself. Her head thrashed back & forth & her hips grinded into him as she flew over the precipice, screaming his name.
He moved up & held her as she trembled violently in the aftermath, then went limp & lay, eyes closed, safe in his arms. Her leg brushed against him & her eyes opened slowly to find his face tight with need.
"Harry" she breathed as she reached out to stroke him. "I want you inside me, making love to me……..''
He grinned devilishly at her. "Now was that so hard?" Then he moved between her legs & swiftly entered her causing them both to groan out in relief. Their eyes locked as they loved each other to perfection & completion, each calling out the others name as her wish came true.
They held onto each other fiercely for a long time after, eyes still locked as their connection said everything words could never express.
When Hermione reluctantly began to move to get up he reached out & pulled her body back into his. Now it was his turn to plead. "No mione, please, stay."
She ran her fingers through his hair & replied in a soft voice "I should go before Ben comes home."
After a moment they both rose. He picked her nightshirt up from the floor & pulled it over her head, then led her to the door. After kissing her passionately he cupped her face. "I want you to be able to stay Hermione."
"I know Harry. Soon. Please." Her eyes begged his patience as much as her voice.
She kissed him again, then disappeared down the stairs.
Hermione heard her son come home a short time later. He stuck his head in her bedroom & said "I'm home Mm. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Ben."
His heart broke at the sound of her sad voice. He knew his distance was hurting her, but he had decided what action he was going to take & knew she would be able to dissuade him in no time if he let her in now. He had to stay away, even though he'd rather die than hurt her.
"I love you Mum." It was a plea more than a statement.
"Me too Ben." She listened to his steps retreat down the hall as she began to cry once again.
==============
It woke him up like a bomb going off in the apartment.
He could hear her through the floor, but more than that, he could hear it in his mind, feel it in his veins. Her blood-curdling scream.
Harry jumped up & ran down the stairs to the bedroom door of the cottage. Finding it locked he held out his hand , muttered Alohmora & and it swung open. He then raced in to find her crumpled on the floor of their sons room clutching a note & hysterical.
"Hermione, in Merlin's name, what happened, what's the matter?" he said as he knelt down to take her into his arms.
She was unable to speak through her sobs so she handed him the note.
'MUM- I'm going away for a few days. Please understand I need to do this. I will be careful. I'm sorry. I love you. Ben.'
He rocked her in his arms trying to calm her as his mind raced. This is my fault- have to calm her down- should
flool Luna- have to find him- this needs to stop.
He smoothed his hands over her hair whispering "ssh, mione, it's OK, we'll find him, it's OK"
over & over.
As her crying abated she looked up at him & his heart shattered at the complete devastation he saw in them. "Oh Harry, why did he do this, where did he go?" Fresh tears poured down her cheeks as she clutched him.
He stood up with her in his arms & sat them on the bed, still stroking her hair as his eyes roamed the room. They halted when they came to his desk. He extracted himself from her grasp & went over to it, finding what he was looking for in a pile.
"Hermione? I think I may have an idea where he went."
He sat down next to her & handed her the admissions booklet from the Annan Prep school… "He told me that he wanted to go to the open house with you. It's this weekend."
She looked blindly at the book for a moment, then closed her eyes & seemingly went into a trance. Harry watched her nervously not knowing what was happening.
Her eyes opened & she looked at him clearly. "He didn't go to Annan."
"He went to Oxford."