The Difference
Chapter One: This Time
By: Itslily2u
Disclaimer: I'll just say that Rowling would probably not call herself Lily, as I do. J
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Lily Evans sighed, and let her eyes roll about her apartment, scrunching her nose for effect. She walked over took the jacket she wore yesterday from an armchair, and the shoes out from under the coffee table; she straightened the pillows and draped the blanket back over the back of the sofa; she took the remotes from the floor (where, presumably, they'd managed they're way to when she'd fallen asleep on the sofa) and set them neatly on the table.
At least it looked neater.
Not that she ever had company, other than her friends…
And they were usually the ones to trash it.
This thought made Lily smile as she wandered into the kitchen. She slid into one of the chairs and rested her chin on her hand. Yes, her friends… they were the ones that helped her keep her sanity, somehow.
Which was quite ironic, really, when you looked at any of them closely. Lily could be considered the only sane one of the lot-- but they were her mates… And she knew she just might die without them.
Lily bit her lip, sighing again. Just thinking of her friends made her wish she had one with her. But she couldn't wish that all the time, it was selfish. She couldn't expect them to always be at her side when she felt lonely.
She jumped when the phone rang. Her heart leapt; it was her mum! She always called on Sundays… she had ever since Lily had moved out. She was just worried about her baby girl.
Lily ran to the phone as it rang its second ring; she hadn't heard from her mum in so long! Had she even called last Sunday? Sunday afternoons were theirs for talking.
"Hello?" She nearly knocked it over in her haste. "Mum? Oh, mum… I'm so glad you called! I thought you never would… Mum? Mum? Oh, please be you… Mum!" Oh, dear… the tears were back. "Aren't you there, Mum? I need someone…" And now, there was no stopping them.
When no one answered, Lily dropped the phone, cringing as it hit the wall.
It didn't even occur to her that someone else had really been on the line.
*
Lily waited patiently in her seat, drumming her fingers on the table (an old habit), looking around the pub. She liked to watch people; she'd always been an observer.
She could see someone… or something? hidden under a black veil at the bar. It was sipping something gingerly, and Tom, the barman was shooting him cautious glances. Lily liked people like this. Well. She liked watching people like this. Once, she'd been confronted by a rather scary-looking witch in Diagon Alley (yes, she was edging a little close to Knockturn Alley, at someone's bidding…), and ever since, she'd preferred to never mix with the sorts. She'd rather watch.
She was still watching the veiled-creature when someone approached her table. "Lily!"
She jumped, thinking she'd been caught by another creep.
"Oh," she said in relief, "Hello, Marie." She snuck another glance at the bar as her friend slid into the seat next to her. "Do you think that veiled thing can see… behind…" she trailed off, as the thing turned.
She gulped; Marie giggled.
But it flipped a galleon on the bar (with gloved hands) and exited in a… somewhat air-like manner. Lily could have sworn it floated.
"You're so… superstitious."
"I'm a witch," Lily deadpanned, sipping her drink.
Tom appeared now, setting Marie's drink on the table. "Eating today, ladies?"
Even if he did have a hunchback and an odd smile, Lily liked him. "Ye-"
"We're waiting on someone." Marie smiled.
Lily blinked. "We are?"
"Of course." She used her straw to swirl her drink. But after a moment, she put it down. "So, how are you, Lily? And I mean, really, how are you?"
Again, Lily blinked. "I… I'm fine."
Marie sighed in resignation and watched Lily through narrowed eyes. It really hurt to see her best friend in so much pain. She wasn't sure if Lily had truly covered up the memory in her mind--which was possible--or if she was just acting the I'm-okay-for-the-sake-of-everyone part. Either way, it was killing her, and she had to help. She opened her mouth to say something else, but was distracted as the door to the pub opened again. She smiled.
Lily had a far-off look in her eyes, and was staring at her drink, tipping it to one side, then another. She didn't even notice the two young wizards approaching their table.
Marie looked up at two of their oldest friends and smiled sadly.
The two stopped as their neared the table; they looked at Lily cautiously, then at Marie.
Sirius Black took his chair first. He raised his eyebrows at Marie when Lily didn't even notice their arrival. Remus Lupin claimed the chair next to him, biting his lip thoughtfully. He looked sadly between Lily and Marie, and then shared a look with Sirius.
Suddenly, Sirius grinned and reached over to Lily. He put his hand on hers, squeezing lightly. "Hey, Gorgeous. Miss me?" He winked.
Lily smiled now, looking up. "Naturally." Her eyes didn't sparkle like they used to. "Hello, Remmy." She smiled fondly at Remus. "So, tell me, what kind of trouble have you been in lately?"
"Me? Why, trouble is--"
"Your middle name." Lily grinned, finishing his sentence. Back in Hogwarts, it had been his punch line.
Sirius chuckled. "Oh, hello, Tom." he said as he noticed the barman delivering their drinks. "Why, you'd think we all come here often, you know our drinks!"
Tom laughed. "Lucky guesses, don't you know?"
"We're still waiting on one more person…" Marie said absently, and, as if on cue, the door opened once more and James Potter tumbled through.
"Drat!" he muttered. "Those bloody…damn" He glanced up and spotted his friends and Tom watching him with curious smiles. He grinned and headed over to the table, brushing off his robes.
He nodded to Sirius and Remus, and turned to the girls. "Lily… Marie, haven't seen you in ages, how are you?" James asked, pulling up a chair.
But his eyes were on Lily, who watched him back.
"Oh, I'm wonderful! I got promoted…"
While Marie talked excitedly about her job, James watched Lily carefully. Her eyes were on Marie, now that she was talking, but James knew she was not really listening. She'd probably heard about the promotion, that's all.
"Well, Moody is making sure that none of his little pests get anywhere in the world. Merlin, he's a… a…" Sirius blinked, searching for the word.
Remus snorted. "Our boss? Thus he fits the description."
Lily smiled. "I have Kingsley Shacklebolt." she spoke for the first time since James's arrival. "He's really tall… And sometimes, I'm not sure if he's joking around or not. But I couldn't have asked for anyone better."
"Well, you're lucky then."
"So how are you, then, Lily?" James asked gently, leaning forward in his chair. "I don't really get to see you much anymore, now that we've completed the initial training."
"I'm doing just fine." she replied, and anyone who didn't know her would have believed her façade.
Unfortunately for her, every one of the people at the table were her friends… and they did know her. They were practically all she had left.
Lily smiled at all their disbelieving expressions, though they all covered them up quickly.
This time, however, it was a real smile.