Unofficial Portkey Archive

Harry Potter and the Final Adventure by What contented men desire
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Harry Potter and the Final Adventure

What contented men desire

Some names, locations, characters, and objects described in this work are © J.K. Rowling. In these cases, the names, locations, characters, and objects are used without permission under the Fair Dealings provision of the Copyright Act of 1976, USC 17 §107. Other names, locations, characters, and objects that are referenced, implied, or alluded to are © their respective owners, and are used under the same conditions. The remainder of this work is licensed by the author under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. To view a copy of this licence, visit http://creativecommons. org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California 94105, USA.

Chapter title dually attributed to Italian poet Dante Alighieri and Lithuanian-born feminist Emma Goldman. The line is part of an inscription on the gates of Inferno in Dante's 'Divine Comedy:'

"Through me you pass into the city of woe:

Through me you pass into eternal pain:

Through me among the people lost for aye.

Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:

To rear me was the task of power divine,

Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.

Before me things create were none, save things

Eternal, and eternal I endure.

All hope abandon ye who enter here."

Emma Goldman adapted the line in one of her quotes on marriage: 'Thus Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: Ye who enter here leave all hope behind'


Chapter 7: All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here

Even though it was only a week, it still passed extremely swiftly. It seemed to Harry that the days between August second and August tenth passed in the blink of an eye, or quicker. So before one could say 'Jack Robinson,' the joyous day of Bill and Fleur's wedding dawned. And it was by the light of the morning sun that Harry found himself on one end of a string of white clovers, Ron was on the other, being directed by Hermione to place it in a nice arch over the altar. Various other members of the Weasley family and the Order were dotted about in The Burrow's orchard setting up. Remus, for example, was off conjuring and placing tables for the reception dinner, where Tonks and Ginny were collaborating on the dance floor. An elderly man, oddly enough the same one who had presided over Dumbledore's funeral, was deep in Conversation with Bill over what Harry assumed was the protocol for the ceremony.

"And there, that's good!" Hermione finally called out, after nigh on twenty minutes of straightening. Ron stuck his end to the trellis and collapsed with a sigh.

"When this thing is over I'm going to sleep for a week." He announced. Hermione huffed, but Harry figured he had a point. Mrs Weasley had hauled all their asses out of bed, literally, at somewhere in the neighbourhood of four in the morning to get ready for a noon ceremony. The team, which consisted of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, Mr Weasley, Charlie, Bill, Gabrielle Delacour, Fred, George, Mrs Weasley, Hagrid, Dung Fletcher, Mad-Eye and an assortment of people Harry didn't recognize, had managed to transform the Weasley's garden into one fine spot for a wedding. There was a large open spot for the ceremony, complete with trellis and rows upon rows of chairs for guests. Two large tents concealed the dance floor and dining area, respectively, and the whole affair was topped off with an enormous assortment of flowers.

By now it was nearly time to get started, so the workers scrambled off to their various homes to change. Gradually they all began to file back in, where Fred and George directed them to their seats. All the Weasley men where wearing matching black dress robes. Harry himself was in a royal blue set. He noticed many Order members wandering in. Mad-Eye and Professor McGonagall entered together, he looking highly uncomfortable in a black robe and tie, she resplendent in a flowing green dress. Aberforth Dumbledore arrived in a set of robes made of fine white fur. Finally, Fleur's family began to appear. Curiously the elder males were generally overweight, and the elder females had sharp but aesthetically attractive features. At long last all of the guests had taken their seats, Bill had taken his place at the altar with the elderly wizard, and a variation on the traditional Wedding March began to play. Looking around, Harry saw the back of a tall man with short black hair 'conducting' with his wand. However he never was able to identify the strange man.

The music seemed to be a cue, as it was at this point that the groomsmen and bridesmaids began to enter. First up was Ginny with one of Fleur's male cousins, but he looked right past them to Hermione. She, along with the rest of the bridesmaids, was dressed in a multi-layered blue toga. She had tamed her hair for the occasion, and looked simply angelic. Years later he would read a book, which would contain a line that defined his feelings perfectly: "at this high moment, ability failed my capacity to describe." She was paired with Ron, the latter of whom alone looked pleased with the arrangement. Following them Fred, George, and Charlie marched down, accompanied each by one of Fleur's other relations. As each pair reached the altar they would split, the males going to stand behind Bill, the females forming a line on the other side where Fleur would stand. When the five pairs had reached their respective positions, the music changed to the well-known Wedding March. As one, the crowd turned their heads back to see Fleur being led down the aisle by her father. She wore a simple white gown, veiled of course. When she reached her position next to her husband-to-be, who was grinning like a maniac and beginning to tear, the elderly wizard began to speak.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of William Walter Weasley and Fleur Joséphine Delacour in holy matrimony. If any here today can give any reason why these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." There wasn't a sound to be heard, except for a loud sniffle from Mrs Weasley that garnered a few chuckles. "May I have the rings, please?" Charlie produced two golden rings from his pocket, one plain and the other inlaid with pearl, and handed them to the elderly wizard. He, in turn, passed the pearl band to Bill and the plain to Fleur. "William and Fleur have opted for their own vows for the exchange of rings. William?"

As Bill spoke, his eyes never wavered from Fleur's. "Because this ring is perfectly symmetrical, it signifies the perfection of true love. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be." He placed the ring on the third finger of Fleur's left hand.

"Becuzz this ring 'as no end or beginning, it signifies ze continuation of true love. As I place eet on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be." Fleur placed the plain band on Bill's third finger.

Here the old wizard took over again. "Do you, William, take Fleur to be your lawfully wedded wife; to love, honour, and cherish; to have and to hold; in sickness and in health; for as long as you both shall live?"

Bill nodded. "I do."

"And do you, Fleur, take William to be your lawfully wedded husband; to love, honour and cherish; to have and to hold; in sickness and in health; for as long as you both shall live?"

Fleur smiled. "I most zertainly do."

The old wizard smiled. "Then, by the power vested in me by the Ministry of Magic, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Slowly, reverently, Bill lifted the veil from his wife's face and planted a deep, passionate kiss on her lips, which she returned with vigour. More quietly, the elderly wizard directed them to the book on the altar behind them. They both signed, then faced the audience again. "Ladies and gentlemen, let me be the first to introduce you to Mister and Missus William Weasley." The young couple blushed at the monumental applause that rang out from the assembled crowd, the elderly wizard, the groomsmen and the bridesmaids. The wizard stepped back and Charlie took center stage.

"Folks, I'm going to go ahead and ask you to make your way over to the dining area so we can get this show on the road. The bride and groom have a very busy night ahead of them, so we don't want to keep them too long." He nudged his older brother gently in the ribs, eliciting a good deal of laughter from the crowd. As Harry rose and turned to go, he spotted the conductor again. The man was tall, with short, immaculate black hair with just a tinge of grey around the sides. The oddest thing about him was his clothing. He wore a black tailcoat and bowtie, but below the waist he was clad in a black-and-white checked kilt, with a large fur sack hanging over the front of it. Harry only caught a glimpse of him before he turned and left the garden. Mulling over the man's identity, Harry followed the hoard of guests to the dinner pavilion.

***

Grudgingly, Harry would admit that the pavilion orientation was ingenious. Instead of each family sitting on opposite sides, and one head table for the 'altar crew' (namely the bride, groom, bridesmaids, and groomsmen), the head table was comprised of Bill, Fleur, Charlie (Bill's best man), Fleur's maid of honour, Mr and Mrs Weasley, and Fleur's parents. The rest of the guests were more or less evenly spread amongst the tables. Evidently Mrs Weasley had had her share of input regarding the seating arrangements. Something about how he was sitting next to Ginny, and Ron was next to Hermione on the other side of the marquee, made him believe that she had finally given up on subtlety.

The members of Fleur's family at his table were yammering away in French, and Ginny was doing little but stare at him, so Harry ate his dinner in relative silence. Shortly after assembling the decorating crew Mrs Weasley had barricaded herself in the kitchen, and it showed. He vaguely heard Ginny say something about Fleur's mother giving plenty of French recipes to the Weasley matriarch. Decades later, when he had become something of a connoisseur, Harry would identify the meal as an exquisite Beef Bourguignon. Served with the meal was the very first example of wine he had ever tasted, called Château d'Yquem 1900. Though he had no prior experience to base the experience on, it was an incredible beverage. Once the main course had been taken away, Charlie rose once more.

"Can I get everyone's attention please? We'll be getting to desert in just a minute folks, but first I'd like to thank Mrs Rose-Claire Delacour for the recipes, my own mother Mrs Molly Weasley for making the food, and the anonymous Hogwarts Transfiguration professor for donating the contents of his wine cellar for the occasion." There was a round of scattered applause at each name, though the wine got the loudest reception. "Now, bring on the cake!"

Bill and Fleur did the ceremonial cutting of the cake, which proceeded to slice itself into exactly the right number of pieces and distribute itself amongst the guests. It was a quite simple desert, compared to the extravagant dinner, comprising of a plain white cake coated in white icing. It was still one of the most delicious things Harry had ever eaten. Soon enough dessert was finished, and everyone was making their way to the dance floor. Harry had been near the back of the dining area, so he was one of the last to reach the second tent. During his weaving attempts to find Ron and Hermione he spotted Mad-Eye and McGonagall in a very elegant looking slow dance, the old Auror looking much more graceful than the last time Harry and seen him dance. He reminded himself that it was not surprising, since he had only seen the fake Mad-Eye dance before now.

Finally he found his friends sitting alone at a corner table, one of several that had been set up as a place for people to sit down with their drinks. Hermione was looking extremely irritated with the red head who was, literally, hanging off of her arm. "Am I interrupting anything?" Harry asked, attempting to sound amused by the situation when in actuality he was being torn to pieces by the scene before him.

Hermione turned to him, her eyes clearly begging him for help. She looked like she was going to speak, but Ron beat her to it. "Oh, hey Harry!" he shouted, maybe a little too loud even with the volume of the music. "Herm…Her…Hern-ninne was jush doin' thish reeaaaallll funny thing. C'mon, show 'im Hermsh!"

Ignoring his highly inebriated best friend, Harry looked at Hermione. "How much of that wine did he have?"

Hermione winced as Ron began caterwauling some unintelligible tune at the top of his lungs. "I stopped counting when he finished the first bottle." She responded over their friend's off-key wailing. "I can't shake the feeling that this was a bad idea."

"What was your first clue Herms?" Shockingly enough Fred and George had been drawn magnetically to the sound of their drunken brother. Taking no notice of Hermione's protests to the hated nickname, the twins simultaneously smacked their brother in the back of the head. His knees folded faster than a poker player dealt a three high, and he was contentedly snoring on the ground. "Finally, some peace and quiet."

"Thanks you two," Hermione, of all people, voiced her gratitude. "He was starting to become a bit off a problem."

"Starting, Herms?" one of the twins parroted mischievously. He winced in pain as Hermione smacked him, hard. "That ship has sailed sweetheart. Ta." The other finished, then both were gone.

"As long as I live I will never understand those two." Hermione grumbled. Harry nodded his assent. He didn't speak because he was gathering his courage for to ask what he really wanted to do. "Harry, is anything wrong?" she asked, genuinely distressed that something could be seriously wrong. With Harry Potter, one never knew.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked suddenly. Shocked, but glad, Hermione silently nodded. As soon as they stepped on the dance floor, the band started a Viennese Waltz. As they revolved, Harry was again struck by how simply divine his partner looked, and decided to tell her as much. "You look…Well…frankly, I don't know how to describe you."

"Oh my word, do I really look that bad? I tried to tell Fleur that blue makes me look ugly, but would she listen?" Though her tone was serious Harry could tell that she was teasing him. It was in her eyes.

"Stop it, I meant that in a good way." He maintained, feigning irritation.

"I know." She soothed, resting her head against his chest. As far as he was concerned the entire world could shove off, he was dancing with the love of his life. Naturally, the world was none too pleased with his rebuttal.

"Excusez-moi." A French voice accompanied a hard tap on his shoulder. Harry grudgingly turned to be faced with one of Fleur's distant relations, Jean he believed. Jean had sharp features, and shimmering blue eyes. His long blond hair hung loose around his shoulders. If he was female, Harry suspected that he would have found this man attractive. "May I cut in?" Not waiting for an answer, Jean spun off with Hermione far away from the black-haired teen. Dejectedly, Harry wandered over to where Aberforth had displaced the inept bartender and was serving drinks himself.

"Can I help you lad?" the younger Dumbledore brother asked kindly. Harry was very much reminded of his old headmaster, which did little to improve his mood.

"My dance partner was just spun away by a French Casanova, what would you recommend?" he asked scathingly.

Aberforth was not deterred. Years as a bartender had obviously hardened him against all verbal abuse. "Beer." The bartender replied, plopping an unlabeled bottle of it before the forlorn teenager. "On the house." Harry was rebuked upon reaching for his moneybag. He greedily sucked down the bottle, which was soon replaced. An hour and seven bottle later, Harry was suspecting that Aberforth was cheating him out of alcohol. Everything he knew about excessive drinking was telling him that he shouldn't be able to see anything that didn't have breasts or was made out of glass. Needless to say he was in full control of his faculties by the time Hermione finally found him.

"Oh lord, don't tell me you drank all of these?" she asked sternly, eyeing Harry's bottle collection suspiciously.

Aberforth grinned. "Don't worry, non-alcoholic. I figured you'd need him sober." He assured the irate young woman.

"Thanks a lot Dumbledore." Harry glared at the bartender. So much for his plan to drown his troubles in booze.

"Yes, thank you." Hermione repeated, much more sincerely. "Come on, we need to have a little talk." She ordered, dragging Harry off by the arm. Not even bothering to resist, he allowed himself to be dragged of to a secluded alcove in the woods surrounding The Burrow. Once they were both safely out of site of the general wedding Hermione slapped him hard. Harry was vaguely aware of his hand rising to rub the spot she had hit him, but couldn't be sure.

"What was that for?" he asked wearily, once the stars had cleared from his vision.

"For moping around like an idiot." Hermione responded simply, albeit quite angrily. "Honestly, I practically proclaim my love for you and you expect me to go drooling off after the first French Don Juan I meet? Honestly, of all the stupid...." her hand rose to hit him again, but he was ready for her this time.

"Would you please stop doing that?" he requested ever so humbly, with her wrist caught in his hand. She glared, but wrenched her arm from his grip. She did not move to hit him again that night.

"Do you want to know exactly what happened between me and Jean?" she asked him, annoyance with the way he was carrying on evident in her voice.

"Not particularly."

"We had one dance, then he suggested we go somewhere 'more private.'" She carried on, oblivious to Harry's refusal. "He came on to me, made it painfully clear what he wanted." Harry was, at this point, staring high into the upper branches of the trees they stood under. He really didn't want to hear this. Clearly Hermione had other ideas, as she grabbed his chin and forced their eyes to meet. "I kicked him in the balls." She enunciated clearly, making sure he didn't miss a word of it.

Harry blinked once. "Come again?" he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You heard me the first time. And I have to say, I didn't feel much cushioning between my foot and his hips." Harry couldn't help but smile at that, even though he knew it was probably a lie.

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you." He spread his arms wide. Hermione pretended to consider it, but ultimately found herself wrapped in Harry's arms.

"I know." She purred into his shoulder. "We should probably get back now." She reluctantly pulled away, and Harry nodded. He was definitely getting tired of this sneaking around thing.

So the two of them wandered back into the crowd, which had thinned significantly. From what Harry could piece together, from numerous sources of varying reliability, Most of Fleur's family had early-morning portkeys home. Ron was still unconscious, though he had been moved to a chair, and assorted members of the remaining crew were beginning to pack up. There was scarcely a second glance in their direction, and certainly no asking where they had been, when they joined the work. In the true spirit of weddings they hadn't started clearing the orchard until it was very late, and by the time they finished it had passed from late into tomorrow.

Harry and Hermione, both being tired and more than slightly intoxicated from the wine served at dinner, were invited to spend the night at the Burrow. Naturally they accepted, resulting in Harry's current position of lying in the topmost room of the rickety structure (not counting the ghoul-infested attic of course) next to a snoring Ron. Why was he not following his friend's lead and descending into the depths of his subconscious is a multi-layered affair. Boiled down it amounted to the fact that Harry Potter had a lot on his mind. Besides his burgeoning relationship with one of his best friends, which was an ever-present subject, his primary concerns revolved around both keeping aforementioned relationship secret from those who would exploit it and on surviving his inevitable bout with Voldemort. Inexorably Harry did eventually begin to drowse, but his dreams were scarcely better than his waking thoughts.

***

Grey fog. That was the only, solitary thing that Harry could see. In every direction it stretched, endlessly filling the deepest corners of that place…wherever 'that place' was. No, there was something else. A distant light, like the lone star that peeks through a canopy of clouds. Harry went to it, what else was there to do? As he approached, the faint light became a roaring fire, then a room around the fire. Before he knew it, Harry was looking at one wall of what might have been a comfortable country home.

"Hello Mister Potter."

Harry spun around. He was no longer in an inescapable prison of fog, but in the very country home he had just imagined. It was sparsely decorated, drawing attention to the plain wood-slat walls. A fireplace crackled behind him. Facing him, holding a highball glass filled with a honey-brown liquid, was the man from the wedding. He was sitting in a rocking chair, rocking back and forth slowly. His kilt was longer than Harry had originally guessed, and it covered his knees quite comfortably even in a sitting position. His brown eyes were regarding Harry with intensity. The emotion was one Harry could not quite place, somewhere between curiosity and awe. It was unmistakeably from him that the greeting had come from. The man's head cocked to the side slightly.

"You know, it is very rude to ignore a greeting Mister Potter."

When he spoke this time Harry was better able to analyze his voice. He bore a Scottish accent, strong but not overtly so. It sounded like the voice of a man who would laugh with you one minute, and be a comforting presence the next. Above all however, it sounded familiar. Finally regaining his voice, Harry inquired curiously about the man's identity.

"I would return the greeting, but I'm afraid I don't know who you are." He told the interloper matter-of-factly.

The stranger gave an odd half-smile. "That doesn't surprise me. My name is not important at this time, but you may call me Teacher." The stranger requested.

The name, sounding more like a title, struck Harry as a little odd, but alas. "Alright then Mister Teacher, why exactly are you here?"

He smiled that little half-smile again. "What else would a teacher be here for, Mister Potter? To teach." The Scotsman sounded almost pitying. "Speaking of which, I believe it's time to begin." He drained the glass in his hand and grimaced. "What a shame, you evidently don't know what good Scotch tastes like. Ah well, c'est la vie." Before Harry could react to the odd comments, he was falling. The room, and the mysterious Teacher, had dissolved into blackness. Harry wasn't actually aware of falling, but he had no support beneath his feet so what else would he be doing?

As he 'fell' the darkness began to distort. Where once was nothing but emptiness, he could now see swirling colours. Then it all stopped. He was simply floating in one spot, the swirling colours around him frozen in place. A voice spoke in his head. "One feels them first at the back of one's eyes." It sounded like an old man. The back of his eyeballs began to itch. He was dimly aware of movement in the infinite abyss below him. It was getting closer and closer. He saw the darkness, but it wasn't darkness anymore. It was like a blur of everything that ever was, is, and will be, all spinning on the point of an immense Tower of Darkness. As he watched, the spinning became more defined. The itching became almost unbearable for a moment, then the scene changed and the feeling was back to an undercurrent.

He could see things clearly now, but the itching had not gone away. Faintly he saw two people, a man and a woman. The man had long black hair, pulled back in a ponytail. He wore heavy brown glasses, a black eye patch over his right eye. His nose, set above a neatly trimmed goatee surrounding his mouth, was quite bent. His exposed arms were interlaced with scars. The woman had just as many scars as the man did, but no facial disfigurement. Her hair was long and brown. She was holding a small object wrapped in blue fabric. They were both smiling at it.

The Tower spun again, the itching increased, and the scene changed. Now there was an old man lying in bed. His beard was long, broad, white. His hair began growing just above his ears, and came down to his shoulders, white as snow. He wore red pyjamas. His right eye was screwed shut against some unknown force. His withered lips were moving, but Harry could hear no sound.

The Tower spun, the itching increased, the scene changed again. Harry could see a cozy sitting room. Two people sat on a couch, looking at an open book. One, a man, had medium-length brown hair and oval glasses. The other, a woman, had longer brown hair. The room mutated. A few moments of distortion and Harry could plainly see what was left of the couple. Body parts were scattered about the room, some protruding from walls. Blood everywhere. Grey lumps of brain matter everywhere. Two heads, the man and woman's, decapitated, rolling around on the floor. Pain. Harry could feel the pain. The man's head was changing. The glasses disappeared, the hair shortened and turned red, the vacant brown eyes turned to blue. It was Ron. Harry tried to call out, but nothing happened. His body convulsed, feeling a thousand invisible pins pricking it over and over. He heard a voice in his head, the Scotsman's. "Memor Harry…Harry…Harry." The Scottish voice changed to a familiar British. "Harry…Harry." His body was shaking. "Harry." Iron grips on his shoulders. "Harry…Harry." He couldn't breath. "Harry…"

"Harry!" Ron Weasley called again, shaking his best friend. Harry's eyes flung open. A strangled cry escaped his lips as he leapt in the air.

***

"Harry!" The agonized gasp lurched Harry back into full consciousness. He was standing near a wall. Ron was in front of him, with his face slowly turning blue. Harry's fingers were closing around his throat.

It wasn't real. It couldn't be real, could it? 'What was it I had heard in the Abyss? One feels them first at the back of one's eyes. Feels what? Doesn't matter, have to check.' Whatever 'they' were, Ron was not one of them; the itching of Harry's eyeballs had entirely vanished. He felt his fingers loosen, and saw his friend's face slowly return to its natural colour.

"Merlin Harry, what was that about?" Ron gasped, short of breath.

Harry's own breath was coming in gasps. He couldn't believe what he had done, or had it been him? It felt like the dreams he used to have, where he had been Voldemort and he had tortured Death Eaters. Like it was him doing it, but at the same time it wasn't. "I'm so sorry Ron, I…I don't know what came over me. I've always gotten startled when people wake me up from nightmares, but nothing like that before."

Ron was looking at him with half-disguised fear, and Harry hated himself. "Well, I just came to tell you that Mum has breakfast and hangover potions, if you want to stick around." His manner suggests that he wasn't as excited about the prospect as he had been upon first mounting the stairs to deliver the news.

Harry shook his head. "No thanks, I should go and figure this out. Maybe my library has some good advice." He chuckled automatically at the irony of his plan.

Ron grinned nervously. "Usually it'd be Hermione offering to hit the books. She's been a bad influence on you, I swear."

Harry grinned, but added nothing. There was no more to add. He gathered, and clad himself in, the rumpled dress robes he had arrived in the previous night and left the house, giving Mrs Weasley a cursory "Good morning" on his way out the door. Upon crossing the boundary of the Weasley property, also the borderline for the extensive security wards erected there, he apparated back to Potter Manor. It would take him some time to think of it as home.

An in-depth expedition into his expansive library had yielded no results, even with Hermione turning up around noon to help. Unfortunately the Potter family did not have any great interest in psychoanalysis, or in the human body in general. Certainly he and she had each found their share of reading material of questionable morals (put simply: porn), and each received quite a bit of amusement from seeing what passed for 'raunchy' in the early 1900's. An entire day later, with absolutely no results in any one of the books Harry owned, they mutually decided that they would have to ask someone. Later, as Hermione so aptly put. He offered her a room, which she accepted, and was set up just down the hall from him.

It was a cruel torture, being only a few feet from her with no one else in the building. They had decided that it would be better if they didn't get used to sleeping together, especially since it was possible for anyone in the Order to enter the house at any time. It would not do for Mrs Weasley, or anyone really, to catch the two of them in the same bed. What a cruel, cruel fate.


The book that Harry will read, where the line 'at this high moment, ability failed my capacity to describe' is the third part of Dante's Divine Comedy, Paradiso. It is in actuality Dante's sentiments upon beholding God, or as close to an approximation to him that Dante's human mind can process.

I am aware that pearl is not a very precious material, so it would be out of place at such an event. Allow me to explain. It all stems from my choice for Fleur's middle name: Joséphine. Joséphine was the first wife of Napolean I Bonaparte of France. She was born in June of 1763. The birthstone for June is (drumroll) Pearl.

Château d'Yquem is in fact a real brand of wine. In the Bordeaux Wine Official Classification of 1855, Château d'Yquem was the only wine to receive the 'Great First Vintage' ranking (the highest offerable)

C'est la vie, for all of the about six of you who don't know, is French for that's life.

The dream is, of course, the kind of thing you might find in a Stephen King novel. Many elements of it (namely the worlds spinning on the Dark Tower, the itchy eyeballs, and the line 'one feels them first at the back of ones eyes') are lifted almost directly from Hearts in Atlantis. The post-murder scene of the young couple on the couch has elements from The Shining in it.