He was ready to crack. It was everything James had not to walk over to Lily and ask her just what was wrong with her, just what everyone knew, just what was wrong with professional Quidditch.
James knew he shouldn't. Lily had walked away from him. Her guilt was supposed to snap her. James should not be the one who spoke first.
Or at least that's what Sirius was telling him.
"You have to be in control, Prongs. The relationship has to be in your hands."
Remus snorted and glanced at Sirius. "Relationship?"
Sirius waved his hand. "Whatever the hell they have."
"I'd say Lily's not exactly ready for a relationship," Remus mumbled, loudly enough for James to hear.
I wouldn't mess with her, Prongs. She's one messed up chick.
For fuck's sake, how could James not know what the hell was wrong with her? Remus knew, Sirius knew. James would take a bet that even Peter fucking knew, and it was a crime for his brothers not to tell him. Whatever happened to loyalty?
Sirius laughed when James brought up the subject.
"Loyalty?" Remus repeated, letting forth a chuckle of his own. "Prongs, honestly. Padfoot told you."
"It's not our story to tell," Sirius finished, collapsing beside James on the sofa, smiling maliciously. James growled.
"Right, so Lily told you the story herself then?"
"Not exactly..." Sirius began.
"But while we accept gossip, the train ends with us," Remus added, shrugging in what James assumed was an apology. It looked more like an excuse for James to deck him.
James jumped up. "Since when?" He spread his arms, increased his volume. "You've never kept anything from me before!"
"It's not--"
"Your story to tell. Yeah, I fucking get that. But no one will tell me so how the fuck am I supposed to find out?"
Remus raised his hands. "Calm down, Prongs. You could go ask her--"
"Ask her!" James laughed. "And say what? 'Hey, Evans, what happened to you that everyone knows about? I know you hate me and everything, but I'd really like to know.'" He shook his head. "She wouldn't answer. She'd probably castrate me for asking!"
Suddenly, James looked to Sirius, catching his silencing motions. James slowly turned, facing a red faced Lily.
"If you would like to know something about me," she said, not looking at his face, "you can ask me. I'd rather not have my business thrown about the common room." She glanced around. James looked too, unsurprised to find faces quickly turning once caught. Lily lowered her voice. "And I'd rather not have rumors about me castrating you. There's enough talk of me and some choice men floating around the school."
Without glancing at him, she turned and walked toward the girls' stairwell.
Wide-eyed, James looked at Remus, Sirius, and now Peter, who had appeared amid the chaos. They avoided his gaze.
James sputtered. "What the fuck did that mean?"
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