Chapter 15 - Drafting a New Beginning
Harry crashed into his bed, barely aware of his surroundings. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware that he just had a major breakdown, one that had been in the making for more than seven years.
He was also dimly aware of the fact that he had left a slightly stunned Hermione back in her bedroom, with no explanation at all. Shrugging it off, he turned and tossed under the covers and finally fell into an uneasy slumber.
He had bad dreams that night. At first, it was the lingering after-taste of his breakdown, but then they changed.
It seemed to be similar to what he had seen in Gringotts, only this time with a magnifying glass present over the whole scene.
'You betrayed our legacy, you led two of our own to unceremonious deaths, but will you kill me directly old friend?' the taller man wheezed.
The shorter man advanced upon him, a bare shadow of the good person he once was.
'You d - don't know what I'm c - capable of!' he stuttered.
The taller man closed his eyes in pain, as he felt his strength slowly slipping away from him.
'A half-breed, with abnormal human strength, and you're weakening?' the second man asked mockingly.
'You don't have to do this. We can still move over your past crime.'
Now the shorter man seemed more reluctant than ever to make a move. Tears streaming desperately down his face, he shouted desperately, 'You can't move on! He certainly won't forgive me, not after what I did to his life.'
'Do you know that for sure?'
The shorter man looked at his fallen enemy uncertainly, as if trying to come to a decision. But then his face hardened, showing none of the emotion he was feeling inside.
'It doesn't matter, I am powerful enough now and the Dark Lord will taste unmatchable power once again!' with that he pulled out a powerful dagger and held it in front of the man's face.
The man closed his eyes in resignation, bracing himself for the impale.
'Your biggest weakness, isn't it?'
'NOOOO!!!' Harry roared out, as he woke up convulsing violently. Jumping out of his bed, he pulled his wand out and thrust it wildly in front of him, looking every bit the homesick, paranoid soldier. Sweat was dripping down his face and his eyes were bloodshot.
Although he could see and hear everything going on in his dream, the darkness of the eerie summer night prevented him from glimpsing the identity of the two people in battle. Even their voices seemed familiar, but Harry just wasn't able to match it with any of the people he knew.
He was panting loudly by now and he hoped to dear God that no one in the house woke up because of his screams.
He stumbled weakly out of his bedroom and headed down to the kitchen for a glass of water.
He didn't know that Hermione had woken up to his moaning and screaming and she had gone in to check on him. He didn't know that she had seen his pasty white face and the dead, defeated expression in his emotionless eyes.
Most of all, he didn't know that she spent the next hour and a half crying herself to sleep, for the second time that night, because of overwhelming guilt over the fact that she had ruined him with her incessant questioning.
*
The next day seemed to be a reflection of Harry and Hermione's moods, as rain was pelting down furiously. Hermione's parents decided to stay in and go to work in the afternoon, so they rescheduled their morning appointments.
After a quiet breakfast, during which Harry and Hermione spoke only to the latter's parents and cautiously avoided each other, all four of them headed to the living room to watch a movie.
'So what are we seeing today?' Jane asked.
'Star Wars!' Thomas exclaimed with a maniacal grin on his face.
'No!' two loud voices of protest came immediately from the Granger women.
'Fine,' Thomas grumbled, 'it takes you women hours to choose, so give me a shout when you're ready. I'll be in my study.'
Jane shook her head fondly at her husband's antics and then turned to Hermione.
'Why don't the two of you pick something out, I'll be right back,' Jane told the two teenagers pointedly.
And before they knew it, Harry and Hermione were alone.
Meanwhile, the two adults were having a heated discussion upstairs.
'Are you telling me you didn't notice anything off between the two yesterday night and today at breakfast?' Jane asked her husband.
'They're kids, they have spats, they ignore each other from time to time, what's the big deal?'
'I'm saying something serious happened between them. They were fine before both of you left for the club yesterday, but now things seem almost icy. Not to mention Hermione's eyes were red and puffy at breakfast. She might have tried washing any evidence away, but I'm her mother. I know when she's been crying.'
'She's a teenager. Teenagers do crazy things all the time. After pregnant women, they're the masters of mood swings.'
'Are you taking potshots at me?' Jane asked dangerously.
'No, no of course not honey,' Thomas said insincerely. 'Everyone knows you were the sweetest, most reasonable woman during your pregnancy,' he finished sarcastically.
Jane pursed her lips but allowed her husband to continue.
'Listen,' Thomas started, 'I may sound like a rotten person, but I prefer them being friends and ignoring each other from time to time rather than being attached at the mouth and making gooey eyes at each other all the time.'
'Okay, but just tell me something. You're pretty sure they both fancy each other right?'
'Um, yeah, why do you ask?'
'Well, if this kind of two-way silence is maintained for a long time, it invariably leads to sexual tension and they'll be liable to do something much more than making gooey eyes and being attached at the mouth,' Jane said wisely.
'WHAT?! No bloody way, our bedroom is right across from their rooms, how would they even think of doing that? They wouldn't dare...' Thomas growled.
'You underestimate the power of a teenager's hormones.'
'No kidding,' Thomas replied, as he took a memory trip back to his own childhood. 'Come on, let's go down, hopefully we have a good movie to watch.'
'And you'll be sleeping on the sofa for your jibe about my pregnancy dear,' Jane said sweetly.
'What?! On the sofa! Stop acting like my wi - '
Jane raised her eyebrows and Thomas stopped himself in time.
'I don't mind sleeping on the sofa honey,' he said obediently.
'Hmmm,' she said in approval, 'don't go down just yet.'
'Huh? Why?'
'Just stay here for a couple of minutes. I would like to give them some time alone to solve whatever's going on between them.'
'Oh yeah, I understand that. They can't do that over the next one and a half months.'
'Honey, do you want to make the sofa time last one and a half months?'
*
'So what movie do you wanna watch?' Hermione asked.
'I don't mind anything, just pick what you want,' Harry replied distantly, not looking at Hermione.
'Come on over , I'll show you what we have,' Hermione said.
She pointed to the third rack behind the T.V. and Harry opened it slowly.
Hermione stood behind Harry as she watched him shuffle through their movie collection. She was sure he was avoiding eye contact with her and speaking only when necessary.
And he had every right too. Instead of taking things in stride, she had bombarded him with painful questions and forced him to relive his worst memories.
'Harry?' she ventured softly.
'Hang on a sec,' he replied.
Hermione closed her eyes and bit her lips nervously.
'Harry, will you please look at me?' she repeated.
Harry turned slowly and his eyes met hers ; he could clearly see apology in her brown orbs. He sighed. He wasn't angry at her. He knew she was inquisitive and always hungry for knowledge, it was one of the things he loved about her.
'Yeah?' he asked cautiously.
'I, I'm sorry about - '
'Don't,' Harry interrupted.
'What?'
'You don't have to apologise,' Harry said.
'But, I...' Hermione trailed off uncertainly, not sure whether she wanted to tell Harry that she had snuck up on him in the middle of the night and seen him thrash about in the fits of a nightmare.
'I've been through a lot of shit in my old life and I'm just as likely to go through a lot of it here as well, only I'll be much better prepared to handle it. If you want distance, I can't say I blame you.'
'Harry, of course I want to be with you, I don't - '
'Well, you should take some time to think about it. Being associated with me is gonna have a lot of repercussions.'
Harry turned away from her but Hermione roughly pulled him around.
'This is one thing I'm certain about. This is one thing I don't need to think about, I want to be with you,' Hermione said passionately.
'You want to be with me?' Harry asked teasingly, 'boy, I don't have a problem with that, but we're under your parents' roof, you know.'
Hermione's face went as red as a tomato as she realised what she said and she hastened to correct her mistake.
'N - No, no, I meant be with you - as in friends, b - best friends...'
'Well that sounds nice doesnt it? Harry and Hermione, good friends - no chance of anything more,' Harry said.
A hurt look came in Hermione's eyes and she looked away from Harry, too distraught to say anything.
'Well?' Harry asked, praying that Hermione would offer something more than the 'best friends' crap.
'Oh yes Harry it sounds great. We're like siblings,' Hermione lied through her teeth.
Harry sighed. It was like one step forward and then two steps backward with her.
Running his hands through his hair in frustration, he looked at her for a quick moment and then made his decision.
Lifting her chin up roughly, he forced her to meet his eyes.
She did not look startled by his sudden aggression. In fact, she looked defiantly back at him, her brown eyes searching the depths of his green ones.
'Prove it,' he hissed, stepping into her personal space.
'Prove what?' she demanded, unwilling to step back and allow Harry the upper hand.
'Prove that we're not meant to be anything more. That we're best off as siblings,' Harry challenged.
'I don't have to prove anything. You're the one who said we're good friends and there's no chance of anything more,' Hermione shot back.
'Well, I wasn't the one who compared us to siblings. That was you!' Harry retorted loudly.
'Don't bring this on me Potter! I said that so I wouldn't have to contradict you. I was just going along with what you bloody said first!'
'Yeah because Hermione Granger always speaks according to other people's words, she's too shy to speak her own mind, isn't she?!' Harry snapped sarcastically.
'Save it,' Hermione growled and she marched off, her uncontrollable hair bobbing up and down as she went.
Harry cursed out loudly before he took his selection and sat down heavily on the sofa, waiting for the whole Granger family to make their appearance.
But then Hermione came back into the room, a determined look in her eye as she made directly for Harry.
She slowly took the movie from Harry's hand and placed it on the coffee table and then she sat down plum on top of him!
Harry's eyes widened as Hermione took a moment to make herself comfortable in his lap, before she turned to him with an unreadable look in her eyes and she breathed, 'Harryyy...'
Harry gulped as Hermione looped her arms around his neck and inched her head closer to his.
Just as Harry thought Hermione was about to go past the point of no return, she stopped ; her lips mere centimetres from his face and she took a moment to observe his face intensely.
'Why are you sweating Harry? I'm just your big sis here to be your best friend.'
With those taunting words, she deliberately moved her lips over his and kissed him on the cheek.
She then unwrapped herself from him and sat to his side, just in time too, for her parents walked into the room right then.
Harry considered himself lucky that he didn't slip into a coma then and there.
'What movie did you pick?' Thomas asked enthusiastically as he sat down on the other sofa with his wife.
Harry showed him the cover. It was Die Hard.
Two simultaneous groans and one loud cheer sounded out from the Grangers as Harry started the movie, nervously watching Hermione out of the corner of his eye.
Luckily for Harry, the next two hours of John McClane's battle with a terrorist who funnily enough, looked like Severus Snape, was interesting enough to make him forget about his earlier predicament with Hermione.
*
'Thank god!' Jane exclaimed, relief clear in her voice as she stood up and stretched.
'For the rest of this summer, Harry and Dad don't get to pick the movies,' Hermione echoed.
'You have great taste Harry,' Thomas congratulated the teenager, as he sat back leisurely.
'Want to make it a double feature?' Harry asked.
'Sounds great, what have you got?' Thomas asked, sitting up.
'Die Hard 2!' Harry announced, shaking two fingers at Thomas.
'Yeah!!' Thomas agreed, giving Harry a high five.
Jane gave Thomas the same look that Hermione gave Harry ; a dry, withering glare.
'Or perhaps later,' Thomas backtracked, to which Harry nodded fervently.
'Lunch will be ready in half an hour after which you kids will be alone, we're heading off to work, all right?' Jane told Harry and Hermione.
Both the teenagers nodded and made their way upstairs.
'So what do you wanna do?' Harry asked, sticking his hands in his pockets.
'Um... how does some homework sound?' Hermione asked nervously.
'Uh... okay I guess, as long as we don't end up doing it the whole day,' Harry replied, then clamped his mouth shut as he realised how that sounded.
Hermione smirked at Harry and walked into her room.
Within ten minutes, Harry and Hermione were down to their necks in their essays, Hermione in particular in full-blown study mode, not entertaining any disturbances.
Harry took this opportunity to observe his best friend carefully.
He didn't feel he could possibly tire of it. Watching her bite her lower lip when the words she wrote didn't come off exactly as she wanted it. Watching her scrunch up her nose in frustration if she didn't quite follow whatever she was reading. The deft way her ink-stained fingertips would brush out an errant curl from her beautiful face...
'Poppet!' Thomas shouted out from downstairs.
'Not now!' Hermione shouted back from behind a pile of books.
'Did you take the paper up with you?!' he continued.
Hermione pursed her lips in frustration and looked around.
'Yes! It's in my room!'
'Can you please bring it downstairs?!'
Hermione grumbled mutinously. Then she spotted Harry and brightened up.
'Harry, can you give the newspaper to my dad please?' she asked softly.
Harry who was initially about to refuse and tell Hermione to go down and give it herself, looked up and saw Hermione's pouty lips and her big, brown pleading eyes.
'Sure,' he said dreamily, as all protest died down in his throat.
Hermione smiled at him in thanks and continued her essay.
Harry picked the newspaper up and left Hermione's room.
He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes caught that day's headlines :
HIGH SECURITY PRISON ESCAPE
Edinburgh, July 17 : A top security prison here in the North Sea witnessed its first ever breakout in the early hours of Monday morning, our correspondent reported. Higher authorities in charge of the prison, who usually maintain a stoic silence when asked to comment on security measures at the prison and the nature of crimes committed by the inmates who reside there, communicated for the first time with the outside world. A breakout of its most high profile prisoner, a man named Sirius Black, prompted action from the Prime Minister himself, who has ordered a nationwide hunt for this man. The records obtained on Sirius Black's past state that he allegedly killed thirteen people on the street with his own personal rifle, following which he laughed and fled the scene, only to be caught hours later and deported to prison, where he has been staying for the last thirteen years - until last night.
For more details on Sirius Black including photos, please turn to Page 13.
And now a broad grin unfurled itself on Harry's face. He felt euphoria wash over him as he read the article again and turned to the mentioned page. Looking back at him was the face of the very much alive Sirius Black, a man he had not seen for more than two years.
Harry handed Thomas the paper and made his way back to Hermione's room, a smile still present on his face.
'Why are you so happy?' Hermione asked bluntly.
'A man declared guilty for mass murder escaped a top security prison last night and is looking for me,' Harry replied nonchalantly.
Hermione raised her eyebrows.
'Sirius Black?' she questioned, 'the man who b - betrayed your parents?'
'Yes and no,' Harry replied cryptically.
'I don't know what I'm missing, but I read something about his crimes in Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century. How could you be happy that he's escaped?'
'Because now he can come back and live as my godfather and the man who did betray my parents can take his place in prison?'
'Is this something you discovered in your o - other life?' Hermione asked softly, suddenly very reluctant to continue the conversation.
'Yeah,' Harry replied.
'Oh,' Hermione replied and she quickly turned back to her book.
Harry could clearly sense that Hermione wanted to ask more questions, but she was afraid to do so.
'You can ask me anything you want you know,' Harry said gently. 'It's just that there are a lot of painful memories for me of that life, nightmares that are too painful to think about, let alone describe.'
Hermione nodded sadly and then asked a question that Harry had been dreading since the previous night.
'What's our relationship like five years down the line? Are we as close as we are now?'
Harry closed his eyes for a long moment.
Hermione waited for two whole minutes, but when it was clear no answer was forthcoming from Harry, she timidly spoke out, 'It's ok if you don't want to answer that Harry. You can tell me whatever you're comfortable telling.'
Harry finally opened his eyes and looked at Hermione.
'Are we as close in five years as we are now?' he began, 'I would say yes and no. To tell you the truth, we became one being on a cold December night out in the wilderness. Our hearts beat as one and at one point we simply needed each other to continue surviving, to go on living. But we coerced ourselves into different things, into far more glamorous ideas, when we couldn't realise the truth that pure love isn't beautiful and easy, it's natural and complicated.'
Hermione watched as a few tears leaked out of Harry's eyes much as he tried controlling them. But this time it was different. Hermione felt her own tears dripping down her face ; even though she didn't know the specifics of their future relationship, she could feel the angst of it radiating from Harry's intense explanation.
'We threw away the kind of relationship that would've lasted an eternity, all because of our arrogance and stupidity, because I was too blind to see what was in front of me all along...'
'Harry...' Hermione breathed, and it was like she Apparated into his arms. Her arms wrapped themselves tightly around his neck as he held her petite frame with his own strong hands ; it seemed that all they were doing was sobbing for dear life and hugging each other when they suddenly pulled apart to realise that their lips had just made contact for the first time.
Hermione pressed a finger to her lips in wonder as she looked at Harry through tear-stricken eyes.
Harry gently pulled her finger aside and slowly traced the curve of her rosy lips with his index finger.
Hermione watched Harry's surprising tenderness as he caressed her lips and then cheek and then as he ran his hands through her wild hair, gently drawing her head in for another embrace.
She felt herself giving in without complaint and this time they stayed like that for a bit longer, savouring a new, foreign experience, something they had been dreaming about for a long time.
Hermione's hands framed his face possessively and all they did was look at each other for an entire minute before Hermione turned away shyly.
'D - Did we just k-k-kiss?' she looked down nervously and Harry knelt down in front of her and brushed her hair out of the way so he could get his much needed glimpse of her beautiful face.
'We kissed more than a minute ago. Is the brightest witch of her generation so slow on the uptake?' Harry asked teasingly.
Hermione giggled softly.
She looked at him warmly for another moment, and Harry hugged her again, trying his best to wash off any of her insecurities, along with his own.
'Um... Harry?' Hermione asked tentatively, testing the waters between them.
'It's ok if you wanna go back to homework, we can talk about this later,' Harry said amusedly.
'No!' Hermione squeaked, 'it's not that...'
'Then what is it?' Harry asked patiently.
'Can we k-ki- do that again sometime?' she blushed.
'We can do that whenever you want,' Harry affirmed.
Hermione nodded and then asked him, 'so does this mean we're d - dating?'
'Hermione, I'm not an expert on relationships. Do you want this to mean we're dating?'
Hermione muttered a quick 'yes' and Harry grinned broadly.
'Then we're dating,' he said simply.
Hermione smiled and then added happily, 'I can't wait to tell mum and dad about this.'
Harry's eyes widened and he looked at Hermione in fear.
'We don't have to tell them immediately,' he said.
'Let's tell them tomorrow at breakfast,' Hermione decided, 'that way will be more convenient.
'Fine with me. But we're telling them that we've only held each others' hand and pecked each other on the cheek once.'
Hermione rolled her eyes and helped Hary up.
'Kids, lunch is ready!' a loud voice shouted out.
Harry and Hermione wordlessly went down hand in hand, both of them silently wondering whether the other liked the feel of holding their hand.
AN - The third chapter posted this month! Don't I usually post one chapter every three months?! :)
Well, please, please review and tell me what you thought of the second half of this chapter and whether I should bother writing any more fluff in this story...