Unofficial Portkey Archive

I'll Fight For You

By Hazelmist/Summerskies

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Period

Chapter Eleven: The Banshee

"Gracie," I whisper, sending a fearful glance over my shoulder.

"What?" Gracie asks irritably, leafing through my Potion's notes.

"Make him stop," I beg, sliding down in my chair in a weak attempt to hide.

"Who?" She stops on a page, hastily scanning the list of ingredients.

"Your cousin!" I hiss.

"Oh, what's he doing?" Gracie asks, barely listening. She's more worried about the potion's exam we have in twenty minutes that she "forgot" to study for.

"He's staring at me!" I bury my face in my Potion's textbook and attempt to make myself one with the chair. I almost manage this without slipping out of my chair or falling on the ground. Perhaps a camouflaging spell would work better?

Gracie sighs, dully looking over her shoulder, confirming my suspicions with a roll of her eyes. I twist around in my seat, and James immediately grins, curling his fingers into a wave. He blows a kiss, and I make a rude gesture that sends Sirius into silent convulsions and James into a mock faint. Remus just shakes his head. Gracie turns me around before I can do anymore damage to James's poor little ego.

"Let him be," she says wisely, dragging me back to my Potion's notes to decipher something she can't understand.

"But he's so annoying!" I complain, unwilling to let it go.

"Of course he is," she mutters, patting my arm. "But you're letting him get to you, and right now, we have bigger things to worry about, like this Potion's exam that I'm going to fail."

"I don't know how you keep passing his class." I frown, slightly miffed that I put in all the effort and she just reads my notes the night before our exams.

"I shouldn't have but you know Slughorn," she chuckles. "My mom and dad are high up in the Ministry and you know that Chris is one of his fav…" Gracie stops suddenly and hastily clears her throat. She spoke of them in the present tense, as if they were still living. I squeeze her arm, but Gracie is busy shuffling around my notes.

My eyes wander to the window. Outside the snow has stopped falling. I haven't been outside yet, though I've been dying to sink my hands into the snow and create a giant snowball. I already have a target in mind. I smirk, wondering what kind of nasty charms I can add to my early Christmas present to Potter. Speaking of presents, I still haven't gotten my sister one, not that the constipated cow deserves it, but I would've liked to get my parents a little something more. I haven't written to them in a couple of weeks. Now that there's rumors that people are reading our mail the letters aren't much to look forward to. It's always the weather, perhaps a mention of Petunia or Dad, and then Mom just repeats that they all miss and love me. I can't talk, my replies aren't much better. Wouldn't you be a little creeped out and wary if someone was reading your mail?

They didn't mention anything about Christmas, but obviously I'll be spending it with them. The question is where? They were moved after those two Dementor Wannabes decided to drop by for tea with me back in September. This Christmas is going to be so weird. If it wasn't for the snow and the relief that our Mid Years are almost over, I might question if it really was Christmas already.

"HELLO! Earth to Lily!"

I blink, recognizing Gracie's hand waving around in front of my face.

"Anybody home?" Gracie asks, desperately trying to get my attention.

"No," I sigh and stretch out my arms. "What?" I ask, turning to her.

"What are the four main ingredients of the Draught of the Living Death?" She looks up from my notes hopefully.

I reach over and flip the page, the answer is written in large bold letters.

"Oh," Gracie says stupidly.

Obviously I'm not the only one whose mind is M.I.A. today.

"I'm going to fail!" she whimpers, dropping her head into her hands.

"No you're not," I reassure her. "Slughorn has a soft spot for you, especially since your parents - I mean…" I fumble for words, but Gracie pretends not to notice and interrupts with another lament.

"Why didn't I study?"

"I guess you found Witch Weekly a lot more interesting. I believe you looked through that magazine for three hours, before falling asleep, and then sleeping through your wake up call, and then flirting with him at breakfast-"

"Okay, I get it!" Gracie throws up her arms, surrendering. "I could've studied, but it's so boring," she moans, laying her head on the table.

"Tough luck, that's Potions." I glance at the watch that Gracie "borrowed" from one of her exes over a year ago and realize how little time we have left to get to class.

"And I wasn't flirting with him!" Gracie says indignantly, but her reaction was delayed by at least a full minute.

"Sure you weren't Gracie," I laugh, helping her gather up the books and notes that she threw all over the table.

"I would never date Sirius Black!" she splutters, her face contorting in disgust. "That's like dating James, except minus a brain, the whole blood related thing, quidditch skills, and table manners."

"I can't believe you just said that James Potter had a brain and table manners!" I gasp, completely disagreeing with this theory.

"We're related Lily, I have to give James some credit," Gracie defends her cousin.

"You have a point," I admit reluctantly.

"I always do darling," Gracie drawls, imitating the banshee roommate, with a conceited flick of her hair and a plastic smile.

I laugh and link arms with my best friend.

"Let's go fail our exam!" Gracie says eagerly, gaining a bounce in her step. Sometimes I wonder if she's missing a marble or two.

"Speak for yourself," I snort.

"Ah, that's right. I forgot you inhale books, and study during every waking minute," Gracie teases.

"I do not!" I protest.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

Bantering and laughing, the two of us rush off to meet impending doom. Well actually, just Gracie, since I actually studied, a lot, not every waking minute, but enough so that I would feel rather confident about myself and did not have to cram like Gracie. You never know Gracie might get lucky. Slughorn might lose his head and ask for the 25 ways to land the perfect wizard.

Okay, probably not. But wishful thinking never hurts.

*

"Turn in your flasks if you haven't already and you may go." Professor Slughorn dismisses the class with a cheery wave of his hand.

"Finally I'm free!" Gracie laughs and races out of the dungeon.

I grab my books and run after her, asking myself, not for the first time, if Gracie's playing with a full deck. I follow her up the steps, rising out of the cold and the dark, smelly Slytherinish corridors that still bare the faint scent of the Draught of the Living Death, rushing up to greet the lighted halls slowly filling with excited students.

I catch up to Gracie before she gets swallowed by a group of gibbering Hufflepuffs.

"I think I passed Lily!" She grins, laughing again in relief. "And that's the last one. No homework, no exams, no teachers for a whole week!" She skips off, humming a Christmas tune.

I don't remember the last time she was this happy, it's almost like old times. Gracie always loved Christmas. But still, she seems a little…over enthusiastic. It's almost as if it's forced. An act perhaps? I shake my head, wondering where I come up with these strange ideas. There's nothing wrong with Gracie being happy, and it is in fact Christmas. Still, I can't help myself from inquiring if she's alright.

"I'm fine, no I'm wonderful!" She grins so widely that I fear her face might split in two.

"Oooh, somebody must've gotten laid!" a voice giggles.

The sound of a deceivingly innocent high-pitched, maddeningly annoying, laugh wipes the smile off of Gracie's face. My body goes rigid, and I bite my tongue preparing myself to face… the banshee.

"Oh hello Debby!" I gush with false enthusiasm.

"Hello Lily. So Grace, who's the lucky guy that gave you that spring in your step? What'd you have to do, take polyjuice potion?" Debby, actually it's Deborah, flashes us a blinding white smile that never reaches her cat like golden eyes.

There's no question, she's pretty and she knows it. With her flawless figure, dark skin, silky black hair and the ample bosom that draws the gaze of nearly every male in the entire school, she could easily steal the beautiful people title from James and Sirius. But Debby has an itsy bitsy problem; she's easy. She sleeps with everyone, well, not the females, though I did hear rumors… Gracie was hoping that we could use them to kick her out of our dorm, but we only got a lousy charm to keep her from bringing guys back to the dorm. I almost hope that I do get the Head Girl badge next year, at least then I won't have to share a room with her anymore.

"Contrary to your belief, you do not need to get laid in order to be happy, and you do not need to take polyjuice potion in order to get laid," Gracie retorts, not even making an effort to act pleasant, let alone civil. "Though we obviously can't say the same for you," she adds, just loud enough for Debby to hear.

"That's funny Grace, but we all know that I'm drop-dead-gorgeous, though you unfortunately... Well, you could be pretty if you didn't chop off all your hair, but you'd have to dye it, and well you'd have to get a whole new body. Oh, and probably your face has to go too, you know, it's just not that easy on the eyes," she says, surveying Gracie with a critical eye. Gracie's face flushes, and she twitches. I pinch Gracie's arm reminding her that she's not worth it, even though I can see clearly that Gracie's about ready to beat her to a pulp.

"And how would you know? You just admitted that you're sixteen and still a virgin! What are you waiting for marriage? Have you even snogged a guy?" Debby giggles again as Gracie steps forward and whips out her wand.

"Shut your trap McLaggen!"

I look over Debby's head and find a glowering James Potter. Debby stumbles back a step and immediately stops giggling. Her smile though, stays fixed in place. I swear it's been plastered on there since birth. Gracie keeps her wand pointed at Debby, barely acknowledging her cousin.

"James! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that, it's scary!" Debby scolds, placing one hand on his chest and wagging a finger at him as if he were a naughty toddler.

"You shouldn't insult people, it's rude," James snaps, brushing her hand off his chest, as if it were slime.

"I don't insult people James, I'm a sweet lovable person who tells people the truth," Debby says dramatically, acting as if she's some sort of martyr.

I bite the inside of my cheek trying not to laugh. Debby McLaggen is about as far from being sweet and lovable as dementors are from being angels. She grabs onto James's arm, looking up into his face with an angelic, dead serious expression, and I realize that she actually believes every word that comes out of her mouth.

"I know you're sticking up for you cousin, James, and that's very kind. In fact it's a real turn on. Anyway, I love Grace, she's one of my best friends."

This time I actually do laugh out loud.

"But we can't keep lying to her. She's not pretty, by any stretch of the imagination. I mean sure she has an alright figure. She plays quidditch like all the time, it's like unhealthy how much she plays. But it's a man's sport, you know? Muscles are great on men. You, James, have some excellent muscles, but on a female it's disgusting and manly. It's not her fault of course, her genes, her parents, I saw their picture and they weren't very-"

"Silencio!"

"Petrificus Totalus!" I shout, letting go of a struggling Gracie who immediately fires upon the girl as well as James. Several spells, seemingly too many for three people, hit her head on.

And CRACK!

I lower my wand slowly and join Gracie, James, and Sirius (who appeared out of nowhere) by the motionless Debby, stretched out upon the floor.

"Nice going Lily," James says, patting me on the back.

"I take it the silencing charm was yours?" I look up at him. James nods sheepishly.

"I bet you didn't want to maim her in any way, you know you might ruin such a pretty specimen of the female gender," I grumble, recalling the many times James flirted with Debby over the last five years, though come to think of it, I can't recall anything recent.

"Actually no, it was merely the first spell that popped into my head. All I kept thinking of was how to shut her up." He looks genuinely hurt by my accusation, and I kind of feel bad, not really though. He deserved that comment.

"Who punched her?" Sirius asks, whistling in admiration.

"Me," Gracie answers, flexing her right hand.

"Good shot," Sirius tells her.

"Thanks!" Gracie grins at him.

"I would've done it myself, but I was a little late getting here and basically missed the whole conversation," Sirius admits sadly. Still, it didn't seem to have stopped him from getting in a spell or two.

"Who gave her boils?" I ask.

"Me obviously," a familiar voice says cheerfully.

Tiffany and Remus come forward, both looking a little guilty, as they claim their spell work.

"I was going for pimples, or a skin rash, but boils was the best I could do," Tiffany sighs, kicking Debby.

"And the green hair and clown shoes?" I raise an eyebrow at this one.

"Unoriginal and silly, but I came in with Sirius and had no idea what was going on," Remus admits with a shy smile.

"That still doesn't explain the facial hair and the antlers."

"The beard I did," Gracie says, but she looks puzzled. "The antlers though…"

"That little-" A string of colorful curse words greets our ears as the tall, well built, seventh year, not to mention female, Hufflepuff Quidditch captain appears beside us. Dorcas Meadows looks far from happy.

"What the hell is she going on about saying that Quidditch is a man's sport! Who does she think she is making false claims like that? I have three amazing players and they're all females! Hufflepuff's best chaser was a female, and they say that Helga Hufflepuff herself invented the sport!"

I'm not so sure about that one.

"Gracie's good, darn good at Quidditch, and that's coming from an opponent's perspective. And Gryffindor, her own house, isn't there two other girls on the team? And Ravenclaw I think at one point they were all girls… Heck, even Slytherin has a girl on their team! Ms. Debby McLaggen is going down! I'm going to tell everyone what she said, that little-"

Dorcas disappears as quickly as she appeared, stomping off to spread the word. The six of us look at each other. I couldn't be happier. There's got to be at least eleven or so females in all, perhaps more and if they all gain up on her. I could sing right now, seriously. Dorcas is a true Hufflepuff, loyal to her word, sport, and gender, and as soon as they hear what she has to say they're going to beat the crap out of little Ms. Debby McLaggen.

I start laughing.

Gracie looks at me, still a little steamed, and then suddenly she breaks out laughing too. James grins like a maniac, Sirius snickers, Tiffany giggles, and Remus suppresses a laugh.

"Come on let's go before a teacher catches us," James says, slinging an arm around Gracie and me. He nods to the others and we start back for the Gryffindor tower leaving an unrecognizable Debby McLaggen, sprawled on her back in the middle of the second floor corridor.

I catch my breath as we arrive back in the Gryffindor common room. James throws himself down on the sofa, pulling Gracie and me with him. Tiffany flops down in an armchair, and Sirius and Remus make themselves at home on the floor at our feet.

"I think you broke her nose Gracie!" Tiffany cackles.

I snicker thinking about the drama that will most certainly ensue now that Debby's precious face has been disfigured.

"I reckon you're right, that was one incredibly lucky punch you had Gracie," Sirius remarks.

"Lucky? Would you like me to show you Black just how lucky I am?" Gracie says, cracking her knuckles with a menacing grin.

"Sure, I could take you any day," Sirius yawns.

"Is that a challenge Black?" Gracie asks, jumping up from the sofa.

"Maybe," Sirius smirks, standing up as well.

Both of them put up their fists, going into a boxer stance. It's funny to see the two of them, raven haired and tall, with an athletic gracefulness that has nothing to do with her name. Neither one is entirely serious, and there's something playful even, dare I say it, flirty about the way that they start dancing around each other.

Gracie shakes back her hair, which now brushes her shoulders. The day after we returned to Hogwarts she begged Tiffany to help her chop it all off. We all argued with her, but Gracie confided in me that the hair had to go because every time she looked in the mirror she saw a face that was becoming more and more like her mother's. After the confession I immediately told Tiffany to do whatever Gracie told her to do, forget style, no questions asked. As a result of this, Gracie hasn't had a boyfriend and has been nobly enduring the teasing of Ms. Debby McLaggen.

"Give me your best shot Black!" Gracie taunts, shadow boxing.

Sirius punches, but he gets nothing but air, as Gracie ducks. Eyes locked, wearing identical grins, they circle. It's déjà vu, except last time Gracie was murderous, out for blood was an understatement, and Sirius was sorely losing.

Remus and James root for Sirius, and Tiffany and I cheer for Gracie. I would love to sit back and really enjoy this, (Tiffany and Remus are placing bets) but there's a tiny problem that's weighing upon my chest, literally. I try to discreetly move but every time I pull away, James seems to come closer. He's rooting for Sirius, but mysteriously the arm wrapped around my shoulder and the hand lazily brushing against my chest, stay where they are as if Potter's suddenly lost feeling on that side of the body. How odd. It may be my imagination, but it seems that whenever I try to move, his hold on me gets tighter.

"Potter?"

"Aw, come on Sirius you're slacking! What is it Lily?" he asks, eyes following the boxing match.

"Um, nothing personal, but can you move your arm?" I ask, trying to be nice in the spirit of the things, even though he's definitely trying to feel me up. In fact he couldn't make it more obvious. Smooth, Potter, real smooth. If it wasn't for the fact that you stood up for Gracie and are temporarily on my good side, I would have you hanging from the ceiling by your toenails.

"What? Pick up the pace Sirius!"

"You know what," I lower my voice and hiss in his ear, "Get your arm off of me before I-"

"Professor McGonagall!" Sirius gasps.

He missed punching the professor by mere inches.

"Mr. Black, you're going to pay dearly for that!" The Transfiguration Professor leans against the wall, clutching her heart. All of us freeze, watching in fear as our head of house, not to mention our strictest teacher, simmers with anger, slowly reaching the boiling point.

"Professor it was an accident!" Sirius protests.

"He's right, professor! He was aiming for me!" Gracie exclaims.

"Mr. Black is this true?" Professor McGonagall still looks furious, though the explosion seems to have been temporarily stalled. "Were you trying to hit Ms. Adams?" she asks.

"Yes."

"You were about to intentionally punch your fellow Gryffindor? A Slytherin I can see, but Ms. Adams? She's our seeker!"

Immediately Gracie and Sirius realize what this implies and start talking extremely fast at the same time.

"No, it's not what you think!"

"We were only playing!"

"We weren't really trying to punch each other!"

"Well, we were…"

"But we're just fooling, you know, just having fun?"

"Yea, I wouldn't want to mar her face, seriously professor, that's like wrecking the Mona Lisa. Besides, James and Lily would have my head."

"And Sirius would totally kill me if I screwed up his hair in any way. Just think of what his fan club would do to me!"

Professor McGonagall's eyes jump from one to the other, trying her best, but failing to comprehend exactly what they're saying since they're talking so fast, over each other, and at the same time.

"STOP TALKING!" she shouts, unable to take it anymore.

Sirius and Gracie fall silent.

"Is this true, Ms. Adams, you were only…horsing around?" she asks Gracie.

Gracie nods and Professor McGonagall murmurs something about "immaturity", but the storm has passed and both remain unpunished.

"It's a good thing that I'm a lot younger than I look, that was a close miss Mr. Black, very close."

"Don't I know it!" Sirius breathes a sigh of relief.

"But since you didn't actually punch me, I can not punish you. Ms. Evans, before I was nearly assaulted by your fellow Gryffindor, I had the intention of delivering this to you," Professor McGonagall suddenly addresses me, holding out a scroll to me. "I suggest you act upon it immediately," she says, seriously.

I stand up and accept the scroll. What's this? But before I can ask, the Professor leaves with a final glare at Sirius. "I'll be keeping an eye on you Black." I hear her say as the portrait closes behind her.

"Nice one Gracie!" Sirius says sarcastically.

"That was your own fault, honestly, I was WAY over there. You weren't even aiming in the right direction." Gracie crosses her arms over her chest.

"That's because you cheat!" Sirius accuses.

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"What's that you've got Lily?" James asks curiously.

Immediately all eyes turn to me.

"I don't know," I admit. "But I guess I better open it, Professor McGonagall acted as if it was urgent."

I break the seal and slowly unravel the small note. James peers over my shoulder and I stand up to get away from him. He stands up with me, moving a lot quicker than me.

"Is your name Ms. Lily Evans?" I ask, pressing the note to my chest.

"No." James grins.

"Well than, you can't read it." I turn my back on him and this time he keeps his distance.

"That never stopped you from reading my mail," James says slyly.

I whip around, cheeks flushing as the others look stunned by this revelation, especially since I'm not denying it.

"That was a completely different situation!" I snap.

But that doesn't stop James from ripping it out of my hands. The note tears in half, as I pull away with half of the page still intact. I gasp, looking down at the small half of paper that James left me.

Please come to my office It stops there, thanks to the insufferable brat that has the other half.

"I would like to speak to you for a-" James reads.

moment.

Al

"bus Dumbledore. I'll be waiting-"

for you at the statue of the gargoyle.

"That's it! I was hoping it would be a scandalous love letter, the way you were trying to keep it secret," James says, disappointed by this boring summoning from the Headmaster and tossing the other half away.

"James, be reasonable, Professor McGonagall delivered it." Gracie rolls her eyes.

"So? That would just make it even more secret. It could be a code! McGonagall could be the unintentional messenger of cryptic notes between Lily and her forbidden lover. Or maybe Lily and her fellow spies!"

I snort, smacking James upside the head on my way out. Sometimes the imagination of that boy frightens me.

I have to admit, I am a bit nervous. What could Dumbledore possibly want to see me about? I've only been to his office once (other than that time with Gracie's parents and the mysterious girl that Gracie couldn't bear to part with), and that was when Potter and his pals thought it would be hilarious to frame me and Gracie for one of their biggest pranks. Oh yea, Filch found it so funny, that he brought us up to Dumbledore's office, going on and on about how we were going to be expelled for sure. Being a mere third year, I was terrified, and hardly remember anything about the trip except that Dumbledore was more amused than angry and believed Gracie when she told him it wasn't us.

Perhaps it has to do with Prefect duties. That doesn't make sense because Remus would have been asked to come as well, not that he's much help, but he is after all still a prefect.

Or maybe…

Oh no! I stop in my tracks wondering if I should turn around and pretend that Professor McGonagall actually did get punched and was unable to deliver the letter. Or perhaps I could say that James completely shredded it thinking it really was secret information from a spy. Stupid McLaggen, why didn't I do something about her? I should've put an untraceable charm on her or at least done something to hide her! But why am I the only one who's getting in trouble?

"Hello, Ms. Evans. I knew you'd have no trouble finding my office." An old grey bearded man, dressed in a bright blue wizarding hat and matching blue robes, stands beside a clearly noticeable statue of a gargoyle that I very nearly walked past. Unknowingly, I arrived at the entrance of the Headmaster's office.

Nervously, I mumble a hello back to Professor Dumbledore.

"Come, follow me. It will only take a moment, I promise."

Do I have a choice? I get on the moving staircase behind him. We step off the staircase, and meekly I follow him into the office. Immediately my eyes move from the hundreds of portraits of slumbering elderly former headmasters and headmistresses, to the various, strange whirring shiny metal instruments, and finally onto the beautiful phoenix, perched on the far end of Dumbledore's desk.

"Sit down," he says, gesturing to one of the comfortable chairs in front of his desk. I sit down helplessly, stealing a quick look at his face before focusing on the dark glittering eyes of the elegant fiery colored bird beside him.

He doesn't look mad, but then again he doesn't look amused either.

"His name is Fawkes," Professor Dumbledore says softly, noticing where my attention has wandered.

"He's beautiful." And I'm not just trying to butter the Headmaster up here, that's something the Marauders would do, not me. If you ever saw a phoenix, trust me, you'd probably think that beautiful was not corny, but maybe in fact an understatement.

"Ms. Evans, there's something I think we have to discuss." Professor Dumbledore seems reluctant to stray from the topic of his beloved pet, almost as reluctant as I am.

Oh no, here it comes. I can't say I'm sorry for what I did, because I'm not, but then again it wasn't all me. I wouldn't rat them out though. I am a Gryffindor, though the Marauders and Gracie will clearly be disappointed that I got all the credit.

"She deserved it!" I blurt out.

"Excuse me?" Professor Dumbledore looks as if this wasn't exactly what he was expecting me to say so since I already blew it, I plow onwards.

"She was making fun of Gracie and the female quidditch players, and then she even sunk so low as to talk about her parents-"

"I'm going to pretend that I don't know what you're talking about Ms. Evans, because I came here to discuss your parents, not Ms. McLaggen's mysterious accident," Professor Dumbledore interrupts, clearly amused by this uncalled for confession.

"Oh!" I blush furiously and resist the strong urge to crawl underneath the desk and hide. Why am I such an idiot? Now I'm in trouble.

"Ms. McLaggen is going to be fine. I'm sure you were only inquiring about that. Weren't you Ms. Evans?" he asks, his eyes twinkling.

"Of course," I exhale. "I mean thank god, I was really worried!" I add hastily, playing along.

"That's what I thought you said."

I have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from laughing out loud. There's no way Dumbledore believes this, but if he's going to pretend to have forgotten the fact that Gracie, Tiffany, Alice, and I hate our room mate and have done everything in our power to get rid of her, than I am certainly not going to deny it.

"You said something about my parents?" I ask, trying to change the subject before I start laughing uncontrollably and give Dumbledore no choice but to give me detention.

"Yes," he sighs.

I look up and notice that the twinkle's gone from his eyes.

"Lily, I'm afraid you can't go home for the Holidays," he says, folding his hands.

"Of course I can't. They were moved, right?" I frown.

Dumbledore looks at me sadly over the top of his spectacles as if I'm naïve, as if I don't understand.

"Yes, they were, but Lily, for the sake of your safety and theirs, I think it would be best if you didn't visit your family."

*

I walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room in a daze. I can't go home. I can't visit my parents for another six months, and even then… I shake my head, trying to ignore the empty feeling in my stomach. It's safer this way, they'll be fine. I give the Fat Lady the password and enter the Gryffindor Common Room.

I'm surprised to find the Common Room empty, save for a group of four, huddled close to the fire having a whispered argument. They all must have gone down to the Great Hall to eat. Funny, a little while ago I was starving, but suddenly I've lost my appetite.

I recognize the three heads full of black hair and one with sandy brown hair, bent together in front of the flames. Wearily, I make my way over to them, mildly surprised that none of them have made it down to dinner yet. The three Marauders and Gracie are so wrapped up in the whispered discussion, that none of them notice as I sit down silently on the floor in between Gracie and James's chairs.

"Is this true?" James asks Remus and Gracie.

"Of course it's true!" Gracie whispers angrily, and Remus shifts his weight and gives a reluctant nod.

"You heard this from Ophelia?" Sirius asks incredulously.

"Yes, she said that-" But James cuts Gracie off.

"Ophelia's hardly credible-"

"Credible? She's a raving lunatic!" Sirius butts in.

"They do have a point," I admit quietly.

All four of them look a little startled, when they at last look down and find me sitting comfortably on the floor between Gracie and James's chairs.

"She's engaged to Lovegood, you know the guy that runs Quibbler? She showed me the ring last week, so she must be a little crazy, though she seems happy, so I suppose that's all that matters, right?" I look up at them, and they nod hesitantly, scrutinizing me with their eyes. They're trying to figure out how much I overheard, I realize.

"That's great!" Gracie finally says enthusiastically.

"What were you saying about her anyway?" I ask curiously.

Their eyes dart away from me, all except for Gracie, who looks as if she's holding back a smile.

"Remus and I were waiting for you the other day, after the Prefect meeting, but you were kind of busy telling James off. Anyway, Ophelia came out, and I don't know how we got to talking, but she said that-"

"It doesn't matter what she said, it's not fact, Gracie, and we already determined that the girl's not exactly mentally stable," James interrupts hastily.

"She belongs in St. Mungos!" Sirius snorts.

"Just because she's a little odd, it doesn't mean she's bound for the mental ward!" Gracie tosses a glare at Sirius, and storms out of the room.

Sirius laughs and follows her out, but James lingers with Remus and I, staring after Gracie with a worried look on his face. I look up hopefully at Remus, but he shrugs helplessly.

"I'll see you two at dinner," Remus sighs, heading after the two, probably to make sure that Sirius doesn't do anymore damage.

"What happened?" I ask James.

He sits back down, smiling sadly at me.

"Oh, you know how Ophelia can get. She wasn't having one of her lucid moments and told Gracie and Remus something." He shakes his head sorrowfully.

"Poor Gracie, now she's got her hopes up. I don't blame her, I wish…" he trails off, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes.

"What?" I ask quietly, settling myself in Gracie's vacant chair beside him.

"Nothing," James chuckles softly, and it's clear that despite how badly I want to ask him what she told Gracie, he's not going to answer.

I stare into the hypnotizing flames, dancing and flickering, changing from shades of violet to red and yellow. Immediately my mind travels back to the conversation that I had with Dumbledore. I came so close to losing my parents in September but we were lucky, unlike Gracie and her family. What's the point though, if I can't even visit them? I might never see Mom or Dad again…

Ten or so minutes must've passed before James opened his eyes and nudged me.

"What'd Dumbledore have to see you about?" It's as if he's reading my mind. Then again, after the note incident, he's probably just being nosy.

I turn and look at him.

"My parents."

James's face falls, and he grabs my hand fearfully.

"They're not-"

"No they're not dead." Relief floods his face, and I give a tiny laugh which turns into a choked sob.

"Then why are you crying?" he asks, reaching up and wiping at the tears that I hadn't even noticed were starting to form in my eyes.

I pull away and swipe at them angrily with my sleeve. Lily, you're a Gryffindor for Merlin's sake, not a first year Hufflepuff!

"I can't visit them anymore," I tell him in a tremulous voice, staring determinedly into the flames, even as my vision continues to go in and out of focus.

"Is this because of what happened after my Aunt and Uncle died?" James asks in a strained voice.

"Perhaps," I whisper, burying my face into my hands to hide the tears that won't stop coming.

I hate myself, why do I have to cry? Especially in front of Potter of all people! I feel his hand on my back, gently rubbing in slow circles. It's soothing and comforting, and I remember the days when it felt like all the world had been destroyed and it was just James and I clinging to each other in some desperate hope that by holding onto each other we might be able to bring it all back.

"Lily, look at me," he says softly, gently pulling my head up and out of my hands.

Again I tug down my sleeves mop up my tear streaked face.

"I'm such a silly wimp. Gracie lost her parents, and I'm wailing and lamenting about not being able to see mine for one lousy Christmas," I sniff, giving him a watery smile.

"Shhh," he whispers, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ears.

I think the hat must've made a mistake. I don't belong in Gryffindor with my strong, brave best friend, or James who picks me up off the floor once more despite the fact that I've never known the troubles that he has. I'm such a coward, selfishly fearing loss and loneliness when my parents are still living and breathing thanks to these precautions.

"I'm such a baby!" I growl, disappointed in myself.

"No, you're not," he whispers, stroking my cheek. "You're one of the bravest people I know."

"No," I shake my head, but James grabs my face, freezing it between his two warm hands, forcing me to look into his sad hazel eyes.

"Lily, I know what you did to those two intruders. They wanted to kill you, and you fought them off rather than leave the empty house."

"If you remember correctly I kind of couldn't leave." I take his hands off of my face, holding them in my own.

"That was my fault," James says, looking angrily down at our hands, as if he blames himself.

"But if you hadn't showed up James, I would've died," I add, squeezing his hands and then letting them slip from mine.

"I think you were doing a find job taking care of yourself," James smiles, tucking another stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"Minus the fact that I would've been strangled to death, right?" I grin and James does too, even though there's nothing comical about it. I guess it's a sort of dark, morbid kind of humor, one that I'm getting used too. Even when the world goes dark, comedy never dies.

"You would've gotten yourself out," James says confidently.

"With my supersonic, telepathic, telekinetic, yet to be discovered powers of course," I quip.

James laughs.

"Actually, I was just playing the damsel in distress role. The whole time I was faking it, waiting for my white knight in shining armor. But the funny thing is that he never showed up. Instead this bloke called Potter, threw a vase at me-"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Sure you were."

"You would've done the same thing!"

"No Potter, I would've pulled a Gracie and thrown you in an ice cold shower."

The two of us share a laugh and then trail off into silence. James leans toward me, laying his arm on my arm rest.

"You hungry?" he inquires.

"I'm afraid I lost my appetite a while ago," I sigh.

"Yeah, me too," James agrees.

Suddenly, I hear a growling noise, and both of us look down at his stomach.

"Right," I say sarcastically.

"Oh alright, maybe I'm a tiny bit hungry," James admits sheepishly. His stomach growls again, louder this time. I giggle and James grins. "Okay, maybe I'm famished."

"You're always hungry!" I roll my eyes, typical guy. He's almost as bad as Sirius, I said almost.

"What can I say? I'm a growing boy." James gives me the all too famous Potter grin, with a slight shrug of the shoulders. I chuckle. He can be so cute at times. That is, when he's not trying to slide his hand up my skirt, or ask me out for the one millionth three hundred and fifty fifth time.

"You're sixteen," I point out.

"I'll be seventeen in forty nine days." James stands up drawing himself up to his full height and puffing out his chest.

"That just makes it worse," I mutter trying hard not to notice how tall he is, or how good quidditch has been to his body. He's a jerk Lily, no matter how good his body looks right now, or how nice he was to you… STOP STARING! I blink, and force myself to laugh at the ridiculous but flattering pose that he's struck.

"Come on you're too skinny. You need food." James grabs me by the arm, gently tugging me to my feet.

"I guess I'm a little hungry, and they're probably wondering where we are…" I say hesitantly, allowing him to guide me to the portrait.

"I know, imagine the horror if they found you talking to me. It might ruin your reputation!" James gasps dramatically holding the portrait open for me.

"That's not true," I climb through the portrait and wait for him.

"Then why won't you go out with me?" James asks quietly, looking down at me with his blazing hazel eyes.

My tongue gets stuck, and I'm mysteriously at a loss for words. There are a lot of reasons why I won't go out with you James.

First, you're a selfish git. You feel me up, ask me out a hundred times a week, stare at me in class, embarrass me, and scare off other guys who might be interested in me. You're so into yourself that you can't stop to think of how I might actually feel.

Second, you're not my type. You're obsessive, stalkerish, selfish, arrogant, not very smart (well he does have a brain but he's not exactly studious), troublesome, a Marauder, star quidditch player, popular, and not to mention drop dead sexy (Um, where'd that come from?). You're certainly NOT the white knight, my Prince Charming. (Who I might add, is extremely late, but he's coming, I'm sure he's on his way, just give him some time to make his grand entrance.)

And finally, I can see myself falling hard for you and you just tossing me aside when you're finished with me. I'd be a mere challenge, a bet that you made with yourself that you'd finally won. I'd just be another person giving the spoiled brat exactly what he wanted, and I will never give in. Never. Even if he can be sweet at times, even if he does actually have a different side of him that I actually could fall in love with, even though there is more to James Potter than I expected, even though I almost said yes, even though he proved me wrong, caught me when I fell, held me when I cried, and helped me to my feet. There will always be that chance, that I might be just another conquest, Lily Evans, the first girl that ever told him no.

"I'll never go out with you because you'd hurt me," I whisper, turning away.

James is stunned, or maybe he's only confused (you know he has trouble with the whole English language concept). He can't seem to understand. I was almost to the stairs when he finally caught up to me.

"Lily! Wait!" He grabs my arm, yanking me back.

"Let go of me James!" I say automatically, my free hand robotically trying to pry his fingers off of my wrist.

"I would never hurt you Lily, never!" he says hoarsely, touching my face. His eyes are so intense, his hand so gentle on my cheek. I close my eyes for a second, one second, savoring the moment. If only it wasn't Potter, the selfish git who continues to believe that the universe revolves around him, despite the fact that Hogwarts, though it may feel like it, is not the heart of our planet, let alone galaxy.

I open my eyes.

"How many of them actually believed that?" I ask with a sad smile. He tells all the girls this. I know he does.

James opens his mouth, but I don't want to hear it, I'm sick and tired of this, of him, of everything.

"Let go of me Potter." I look away, wearily tugging at my arm.

James releases me without question, and I take the opportunity to run down the staircase. It's my lucky day, because before James can set foot on it, it starts to move. James looks as if he might jump, and for a second I fear that the idiot might. But a moment later, he stumbles backwards, and finds me watching him. Quickly I turn around, determinedly waiting for the staircase to arrive at it's next destination, which I know will bring me to the Great Hall five minutes faster even if he runs or uses one of the secret shortcuts that the Marauders spent all their time hunting for as naïve, innocent first years.

"Lily you're different! You're different from all of them!" he calls after me.

His voice fades away as I step off the staircase, and hurry off toward the Great Hall. I smile sadly because a part of me wishes it was true.

A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter! I updated early because of you guys! I'd love to hear your thoughts so please review and I'll do my best to update next week! Next up Christmas Break!

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