I'll Fight For You
By Hazelmist/Summerskies
Disclaimer: JK Rowling is the best, end of story
Chapter 7: The Mourning Light
When I wake up, everything's green. With a blink, the green light disappears and I realize that it was only a part of my dream. I can't remember what I was dreaming about, but I suspect that it was the same as always. You know that dream where you die and there's a funny green light everywhere, and people are screaming. Oh yeah that's right, sane people don't dream about their death on a regular basis. But apparently, I, Lily Evans do.
Yawning, I open my eyes and look around. I'm still in the middle of the meadow, and it's still dark. I must've slept for only a couple of hours. I roll over, intent on going back to sleep so I don't look like death in the morning, but I realize that something's missing.
Where's James? I sit up startled, and suddenly very afraid. It's one thing to be with James Potter in the middle of a peaceful meadow, it's another thing to be by yourself.
"James?" I call. My eyes frantically search for the messy haired teenager, but find nothing but grass. I jump to my feet, and instantly spot the idiot with his back to me, sitting on the other side of a slight hill. I start to breathe and my heart starts beating again. What a cruel trick! I hate him!
His head jerks up as I reach him. One look at his startled expression and his slightly red eyes and instantly any harsh words, or cruel feelings that I might've harbored are swallowed and pushed to the very back of my mind. James quickly looks away, and I pause wondering if maybe I should turn around and leave him alone.
He hides his face from view, and hesitantly I start to slip away.
"No, wait!"
I stop and look down at him. I'm struck by how sad and alone he seems, sitting there on the ground with his hazel eyes looking imploringly into my own. He struggles with his pride, trying to form the silent plea that's emblazoned in his eyes.
Stay.
My hand brushes over his shoulder as I wordlessly sit down beside him. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't have too. I know just by the look in his eyes that he's grateful for the mere presence of another human being.
And so am I, because I don't want to be alone either.
It's colder now, the wind must have switched while I was sleeping. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I can feel James looking at me out of the corner, but when I turn my head he pretends to be absorbed by the horizon. I stare at him, waiting for him to ask or say whatever it is that he's burning to talk about. Once again his eyes meet mine, and a pinkish tinge slides across his cheeks when he realizes that I've caught him staring.
"What is it?" I ask, wondering if the pink cheeks were just a trick of the fading moonlight.
"What did they do to you, before I showed up at your house?" His question is so abrupt, so out of the blue that it throws me off course. Of course I know exactly what he's talking about, and I know that we promised we'd swap stories but it seemed ages ago, and out here, it seemed like the real world was so far away.
I collect myself and recall the creaking floor boards, and the heart pounding realization that followed. The memory comes easily, and I can't resist telling James how I brought down Serial Killer #2 and gave Serial Killer #1 hopefully something he'd remember.
"That's my girl," James murmurs, his chest swelling with pride. He grins and slaps me on the back, and I laugh it off.
Then I explain how Serial Killer #1 apparated, and came up from behind and tried to strangle me. Slowly the life drained out of my body, and I lost consciousness as his hands closed around my neck.
"That's when I woke up and found out I was alive, and you had just dumped a vase of water on me." I laugh, and turn to James. But there's no laughter in his eyes and his smile is forced. His eyes burn with a strange intensity and his face hardens.
"What's wrong?" I ask, frowning.
He blinks, and looks at me as if I have nine different heads.
"What's wrong? A lot of things are wrong Lily. They shouldn't have hurt you and they shouldn't have showed up at your house in the first place," he says, angrily.
"You're right James, but Gracie's family shouldn't have died either," I reply, softly.
"Yes, I mean no," he stutters, recovering too quickly.
My eyes widen, what is he talking about?
"Look Lily, my Aunt and Uncle, they shouldn't have died, but they worked for the Ministry," he sighs, trying to explain something that I can't understand.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask.
"It has everything to do with it," James answers, softly.
He begins to say something, but stops with a shake of his head. I know I won't understand. Not yet. There's something big going on that started over the summer, something that's too complex for me to learn about in a single night. James and Grace will tell me in due time, but right now, I don't think I'm ready.
"But that's not the point," James continues. "The point is, those filthy, slimy bastard shouldn't have laid a hand on you." He clenches his fists, and I realize that it's anger that's flooded his handsome features. It's consumed him, shining in his eyes like the flames of the burner. I'm afraid, because I've never seen him like this before. Sure he gets mad at Snape or a particularly annoying Slytherin every once in a while, but never like this.
I watch him intently, holding my breath. He's smoldering like hot coals ready to take flame with the slightest breath of air and unleash his wrath upon the world. It surprises me when he starts speaking quietly. Every word quivers with restrained anger
"When I went back to your house, that - that - thing was standing there with his hand wrapped around your delicate neck. He was practically wetting himself, he was so excited. I wanted to rip him off of you, but he had a wand to your head. And then there was that worthless Ministry Official, Kenny, uselessly staring at both of you, and not doing a single thing about it. I stunned your Killer, and immediately went to you." James pauses here, his eyes blazing
"I thought I was too late. You were blue, and there was this bruise where his hand had been. When I felt for a pulse, I wasn't sure if you - I didn't know if you had…" He inhales sharply. "And then that Ministry klutz, he goes and wakes up the other wanna-be Dementor. And you know what he does? He went straight for your Killer, grabbed him and left with a pop. After all they'd done to you, and probably done to Gracie's family, THEY ESCAPE ALIVE!" he raises his voice to an angry roar, allowing it to catch the breeze and run off into the night. His words remain in my mind though, lingering with the flashes of yesterday's events. A raw wound still bleeds within.
I move toward him, no longer fearing his wrath, now that I know the cause of it. He stiffens, but I'm not afraid of him. Boldly, I lay my hand on his back. The muscles are knotted and tense but they quickly unravel beneath my gentle, careful fingertips. My arm travels upward, barely making it around his broad quidditch improved shoulders, so I scoot closer. I can see his hazel eyes, the fire slowly dying. But even though my arm rests around his shoulders, he still clings to some of the anger, still fights a part of my presence.
"It's not fair," he growls.
"It's not," I agree, softly.
"Chris, he was only twelve and my aunt and uncle were two of the greatest-" He stops himself before he risks breaking down. I can hear him taking quick, sharp breaths beside me.
I squeeze his shoulder, and gently rest my head on his chest. There are about a hundred things that I could tell him…
But I don't say anything at all.
"Lily?"
I open my eyes and look up into James Potter's face. Funny, I don't remember closing my eyes. The sleep fiend must've crept up on me again. That usually happens when you go without sleep for a long period of time.
Hang on, I'm looking up at James, and this definitely isn't the grass. I'm not complaining though, because I'm very comfortable. Wait, oh my god! My head's resting on James Potter's knee!
The blood rushes to my face and I sit up. I miss hitting James's face by less than a millimeter. How embarrassing, how disgusting! I was practically lying in Potter's lap!
"Er sorry, I must've dozed off," I stammer. Maybe in the dark, my blushing scarlet face will camouflage with my ruby hair and James won't notice how mortifying that was for me. I don't think I'm related to chameleons, though horses and cows ( Have you met my sister? ) now that's a whole different story. I hold my breath hoping that if I just stay still, like this, I'll just blur into a red blob, and sink into a hole in the ground.
"Yeah, you did," James says slowly, and I notice a sparkle in his eyes that might be mischief.
Oh Merlin, if he teases me or says anything about that… position… we were in, I will kick myself for falling asleep so carelessly and then I will kick James in a place he won't like if he pursues the topic.
"How long was I in your- I mean how long was I asleep?" I stutter.
"Not long." A shadow of a grin crosses his face.
My face burns. Why can't I be a chameleon? Why can't I apparate?
"I didn't want to wake you," he adds, ducking his head. He's probably trying to hide that infamous devilish smirk.
I'm sure you didn't, Potter. It's not every day, even for an alleged "ladies man" like Potter, that a girl happens to fall asleep in your lap.
Pervert.
It's not like he had a choice though, I did fall asleep, and I probably fell into his lap. I chew on my lip and decide to forgive and forget about it, just this once. Whoa, I seem to be letting Potter slide a lot lately, this seems to be about the hundredth chance I've given him today. If I keep this up, next thing you know I'm going to be dating him. Now, wouldn't that be a laugh! Ha, that's not going to happen, ever.
"Do you want to go back?" he asks.
"No," I reply, automatically.
We look at each other and I see that he feels the same. As much as I despise Potter's company, I have to admit he knows where the best sanctuaries are. Right now, I'd take another couple of days of Potter's company out here, rather than going back there and facing Gracie and the upcoming funeral. Okay, maybe not a couple of days. I think that's stretching it, but I could definitely stay here for a few more hours of sleep.
But alas, reality calls.
The stars are fading and the sky's gone grey. Dawn creeps toward us as the world around us awakes and transforms in the early morning light.
I look at James and James looks at me.
"Come on," I sigh. "We don't want your mother knowing that we slept together," I catch myself too late and James cracks up laughing.
I slap my forehead, wondering why I'm such a fool. We get to our feet and James turns to me with a seductive smile.
"Don't worry about it, she trusts us, and she said that as long as we weren't in the same room…" He raises his eyebrows suggestively.
I hit him. He roars with laughter and I can see that it made no impression on him whatsoever. It is kind of funny, come to think of it…
I can't help it, I start to giggle.
Damn Potter, he's making me laugh! This is not supposed to be funny! People might assume that we actually did sleep together, which in the literal sense we did but it's definitely not what everyone else is thinking!
Ah, what's the use, as that old saying goes "if you can't fight them, join them".
And so I laugh and run to catch up with James.
Five minutes later the Potter household comes into view. (Either that just went by really fast, or Potter took the long way to his little sanctuary when he tried to have his way with me a few hours ago by the oak tree. I expect it was a little manipulation on Potter's part.)
"That was fast," I say, almost regretfully.
We slow our footsteps, unwilling to leave the safety of the woods. But the house grows larger and I can now see James a little more clearly in the grey light. I want to get back in my bed before anyone sees us and suspects that James and I, well, you know…It's ridiculous of course, but James's mother seems to have this insane idea that we're seeing each other and even, sleeping together.
"I better go in first," I sigh, surrendering myself to the dawn.
"We'll go together. I don't want you getting lost again," James says, and I don't have the heart to protest after what happened with the floo powder.
We walk to a side door of the house. Unfortunately, the door's locked. James doesn't want to risk the back door which is right below the room his parents sleep in, or the front door which supposedly squeaks when you open it from the outside. What's the point of having three doors if you can't use any of them?
"We'll have to break in," he whispers, walking to the back of the house.
"Excuse me?" I ask.
Did he just say that we were going to break into his house? There's a reason why I was placed in Gryffindor and not Ravenclaw, but really, I'm not a Marauder and I have my limits. I say we just camp outside and then return one at a time, no one would suspect a thing, but Potter has to make everything complicated and lives to break every rule that exists.
"Relax, Lily! We're just going through the bathroom window." He gestures to a first floor window not too far off the ground. The window's fine, it's what's underneath it that makes me balk.
"You want me to climb in there?" I point to the mutated thorn bush underneath the window. Perhaps it was a rose bush at one time, but the thorns have to be at least six inches in length and seem to think that they're vines.
"Oh, sorry about that, Mom went through a gardening phase. It didn't quite work out and Dad was never able to get rid of this one," James chuckles as if this is perfectly normal.
"It's perfectly safe, I came in this way loads of times." I don't doubt it. "And I never fell in." He pauses, rethinking this. "Though there was that one time when Sirius slipped, but we got him out eventually and the pain only lasted a week. And then there was that time when Peter jumped in. He wasn't so lucky. I think he still has scars…" James trails off, nervously shooting me a look.
"On second thought, why don't we try a different route?" he suggests, cheerfully heading for the back of the house.
I stop in my tracks when I see the shaky vine stretching up to a second floor roof that's set back and the third floor window that I jumped from.
"I have an idea." James grins and our eyes lock.
Oh, no, not this again.
First, I had to go down the vine, and now, I have to try to climb up it?
"We can try a different way if you want." James smirks, and I shove past him in my haste to get to the vine.
I'll show him…
Okay, so it took me five minutes and James took less than five seconds (show off!), but that's beside the point.
James climbs in through the open window after me and shuts it, and suddenly we're back in Harry's bedroom. It's just the same as I left it, though both of us act as if it's a tomb and the mysterious little girl might materialize at any moment before us. I shiver, glad that James is with me for once. Quickly, I gather up the things off the bedside table and shove them back into my pocket.
"It's a shame we don't have time to look around," James whispers, sending a final wistful look at the room before he closes the door behind us.
"Maybe some other time," I suggest hopefully, but I hear the lock click and I know that it won't be opening again anytime soon.
"Come on, I'll show you where your room is," James says, taking me unnecessarily by the arm.
"I know where it is. You don't have to show me. I just got mixed up." I try to pull my arm free, but James is unwilling to let go.
"I don't blame you Evans for not listening-" James continues with a smug smile.
"I was listening!" I protest, tugging at my arm again which only brings James closer to me.
"You were obviously distracted by thoughts of an attractive, intelligent, handsome, quidditch playing, sixth year Gryffindor who happens to be in this hallway at this very moment and who's Hogsmeade offer still stands." He smirks.
I roll my eyes. Okay Narcissus. Now I remember why Potter was at the top of my Hit List. It's a shame I was actually beginning to wonder if perhaps there was another more pleasant side to Potter.
"Really Sirius, is here?" I quip, pretending to search for the attractive, intelligent, obviously self-centered jerk, who's Potter of course. But I like to pull his leg.
"I was talking about me," he informs me, as if I didn't catch that.
"I know James, I was hoping that no one would be so self centered to say those kind of things about themselves."
"Shhh, do you want someone to hear us?" James admonishes me, making a shushing noise and pressing a finger to his mouth. The truth hurts and he's avoiding the subject.
"Let go of me!" I hiss.
"Now, now, Evans, play nice."
Jerk. I yank my arm free, shoving James (unintentionally of course) into the wall.
"Hey there's no need to be rough - YOWCH!" He breaks off in a yowl, which suddenly changes into a low menacing growl.
"James!" I gasp.
"That wasn't me," James replies softly, his eyes widening.
"Then who - what -?"
As if in answer, a second growl fills the hallways and a black shape rises in the shadows before us. I yelp, and grab James, who pulls me back against the wall. Two eyes glitter in the darkness and I glimpse a set of sharp pearly white teeth as a jaw snaps.
A monster! After narrowly escaping two evil looking Serial Killers, James and I are about to become the breakfast of the Potter's pet monster. James whips out his wand and illuminates the hallway revealing our…erm…Well, it certainly sounded like a monster.
The big black dog stops growling and stares at us as if we're two of the biggest idiots he's ever met.
We probably are, or at least I am. Potter's arm looks suspiciously purple, and I realize it's because my hand is still squeezing it like a stress ball. Embarrassed, I remove my arms and fingers that have somehow wrapped themselves around various parts of his body, and step a good three feet away from him. At least Potter's shaken up too… Or at least he was.
Now, he looks as if he's going to crack up laughing.
"That was not funny," I say, glaring at him. "Don't you dare laugh!"
James shakes his head silently, just barely maintaining self control. Fine go ahead, laugh yourself silly. See what I care. I look at the dog. He looks almost as tired and worn out as I am. I imagine we gave him a fright, because by the looks of it he knows James.
"You never told me you had a dog." I stretch my hand out, hoping that he's harmless. The dog sniffs at my hand, dully acknowledging me with one wag of its tail.
"I don't," James replies, squatting down beside me in front of the dog. "He's a stray." He grins and ruffles the dog's fur. The dog growls and snaps at his hand, but this only causes James to laugh.
"Sorry, didn't mean to mess up your hair," he chuckles.
The dog snarls at him, and then turns his back on us. I watch him trot off into the shadows, wondering what a stray was doing in James's house.
"He comes and goes as he pleases. Sometimes I think he's a part of the family. Mom and Dad love him, but boy can he eat. He can eat as much as Sirius." James laughs again, and I wonder what's so funny. Sirius Black can eat anything and everything. I don't know how anyone can support that kid, or where it all goes because he doesn't have an inch of fat on him, and even I have to admire him for that amazing feat.
"What's his name?" I ask casually as we start back to my real room.
"Sir - oh um, he doesn't have a name," James mumbles.
"What?" This bothers me. How can he practically be a part of the family and not have a name?
"Why doesn't he have a name?"
James runs a hand through his hair like he always does when he's nervous or uncomfortable.
"He's not a permanent resident of the household, so we never named him," he replies with a shrug. "What I don't understand is what he was doing up here…" Suddenly, his puzzled expression gives way to a smirk. "You sly dog," he remarks, glancing over his shoulder at something and shaking his head.
"What?" I ask curiously.
"Nothing, I just remembered something," James mutters.
My ears suddenly perk up.
"Say is this Gracie's room?" I ask, glancing at the room to the left where the door has been left open a crack.
"Actually, yes, how'd you know?" James gives me a weird look.
"Only Gracie Adams snores like that." I smile. After sleeping in the same room as her for the past five years I know these things and could easily recognize the snores of any of the other girls who share the dormitory with us except for Tiffany Crowley who claims she was born in the city that never sleeps.
"Thank Merlin, she's sleeping," I whisper, my heart going out to the girl. James nods in agreement and slips inside the bedroom to check on his cousin. I wait for him outside, staring hard at the ground. A trail of paw prints, and a few almost invisible black hairs make me wonder if perhaps the dog had been sitting out here when we arrived.
"Let's go, the sun's almost up," James says softly.
I linger by the doorway, peeking in at my best friend who is indeed still asleep and hopefully blissfully unaware of the horrible nightmare that awaits her when she wakes.
"Sweet dreams Gracie," I close the door silently behind me.
Two doors down, James stops again.
"This is your room," he announces with a faint smile.
"You're sure it's not your deceased Aunt's?" I tease. Instantly, I regret the words and slap a hand over my mouth.
"I'm sorry James," I apologize, wondering why I'm such an idiot.
"Goodnight Lily," James says softly, suddenly looking extremely tired.
"Goodnight James," I whisper after him, watching as he walks away. Quietly, I close the door behind me, and sit down on the bed. Outside the first rays of sunlight are peeking over the horizon and the sky's a myriad of colors. Right now, though, I could care less about the new day dawning. It still feels like I'm lost in a dark moonless night.
I pull down the shade, shutting the light out. Then I roll over and close my eyes.
A/N: Thanks for reviewing! I'd love to hear what you think! The next chapter is finished and should be up soon.
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