Disclaimer: Refer to chapter one.
A/N: So I've decided to turn this into a multiple-chapter story. :] This is the staircase scene in Hermione's POV. I gave her a very feminine-like personality because under all that bravery, courageousness, and absolutely brilliance, she's a girl just like the rest of us, afraid to get her heart broken. I, also know I haven't updated Book Seven: Deathly Hallows nor The Proposal, but upon seeing HP6, I really needed to do this.
How Does It Feel?
by Hermione Potter
"You really shouldn't have done it," I chimed, glancing at him. I was a bit taken back by the noise that the other Gryffindors were making, but at least I could hear my own thoughts. I was a bit mad at Harry for what he did. But maybe that was because this followed after my desire to help Ron achieve Keeper position. I admit, I felt a bit guilty about since I've never approved of added help that wasn't allowed.
This was an entirely different situation. Even though Ron looked incredibly happy standing there as the other students cheered his name, boosting his ego up tremendously. Harry knew though. He knew that Ron needed some of the gratification.
"I know. I suppose I could have used the Confundus charm." My eyes widened. He knew. I could have sworn I was discreet when I used the charm to help Ron. Cormac was a bit too showy as it was. And don't think I didn't notice those leering looks he was giving me. It was one of the reasons I wanted to help Ron. I mean, flattery is one thing. What Cormac was thinking of was clearly much more than flattery. It was downright ghastly.
"Th-That was different. Tat was try-outs. This was an actual game," I found my voice again as I glanced at him. He was already smirking at me, but I'm sure it would have dropped. They were after all, completely different playing elements. I would have never helped Ron during a game. That's like cheating on an exam.
For a moment, Harry reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the familiar bottle. I stopped breathing when I noticed that it wasn't empty. It was still filled to the top. He hadn't given the potion to him after all.
"You didn't put it in," my gaze fell on Ron. "he only thought you did." I should have known better. Felix Felicis would have made a more prominent reaction from Ron. And all it was, was his confidence based on the fact that he thought he would be on a potion. Harry was bloody smart and I underestimated him.
Gazing at Ron, I let out a soft sigh. It wasn't like I had forgotten what he had done to Harry in fourth year. We both knew that his friendship with Harry was never the same after he thought Harry wanted more fame. I wasn't stupid. I saw the way Ron always envied Harry. How his family treated Harry when he would stay their for holidays. I thought Ron was being selfish. It wasn't as if Harry asked for any of this.
However, all of that seemed to erase from my mind when I watched what had unfolded. It was all in painstakingly slow motion. Lavender Brown, in all her giggling and obnoxious glory, pulled Ron to her and snogged the bloody lights out of him.
Merlin, was I not even good enough for Ron?
Breathing heavily, I pulled away and pushed through the bunch of students that were now cheering for Ron's snogging session with Lavender.
Clenching my eyes shut, I felt my feet carry me down the steps of the Gryffindor Tower. Slumping on the steps, I tried so hard to not cry.
Everyone thinks I'm strong. That I'm fearless Hermione Jane Granger.
Well, I'm not.
"Avis." Raising my wand, a small flock of birds appeared, circling above.
That's what I was good for. Perfecting spells and charms. No one knew how I really felt. Merlin.
It's not that I'm not happy for Ron. I'm thrilled for him. He's always wanted to play Quidditch and have some popularity. I'm glad he had that all. But did that really mean I had to accept the fact that I couldn't even get him to look at me how I want to be looked at?
You see, Harry's never looked at me as more than a friend. Then I turned to Ron. I know it's cruel. That I should consider Ron second best. It's one of his fears - Ron's. I wish it hadn't happened like that. He gave me no choice though! He was so swayed by Cho's beauty that I had never stood a chance. And then Viktor found an interest in me which turned into Ron being jealous of Viktor. And Harry? He was just trying not to die in the Tournament.
Hearing footsteps behind me, I wiped my tears on my sleeve and tried to look like I wasn't crying. It failed.
Turning slightly, I was a bit caught off guard that Harry was standing there, looking absolutely awkward. Glancing up at the birds still circling, I looked away. "Ch-Charm spell. Just practicing."
It was a horrid excuse and he could tell I was crying.
"Well, they're really good."
No matter what, Harry's been able to make me smile. It didn't take much for him to do so. Even if he failed horribly. His technique to calm a girl down was horrendous, but incredibly endearing.
Feeling him sit down beside me, I couldn't bear to look at him. He'd always seen me as someone who stayed calm in a situation.
What made it worse was that he only came here was because I was his friend.
"Ho-How does it feel, Harry? When…you see Dean with Ginny?" It wasn't like I hadn't noticed the way he looked at Ginny. When the two shared that hug at the Burrow, it was so obvious there was built up tension. My question was, when did it all happen? Had he admired her in Dumbledore's Army? When had he had time to move on so quickly from Cho?
I felt myself almost laughing. Surely, Ginny did have the whole package. She was pretty, smart, athletic, and came from a lovely family. Why wouldn't Harry like her? And most of all, she could have probably offered the most normal of futures for Harry. That was what he wanted, wasn't it?
"Oh...Uhm-"
"I know. I see the way you look at her. You're my best friend," I finally looked at him. Merlin, I loved his eyes. I really did. It wasn't that they were mesmerizing or their colors were like two pools of endless green. No. His eyes told so many emotions at once. It was one of his downfalls when dealing with Voldemort. Harry could never hold his emotions back. He always seemed to have something raging in his eyes.
It was one of the reasons I fell for him. But I know I could never be more than a best friend to Harry. He had made that obvious with the looks he shared with Ginny. I was deathly afraid that once the war was over and I wasn't needed for my book smarts or cleverness, Ginny would take my place as the main girl beside Ron and Harry.
Silly, I know.
If Ginny and Harry ended up together, that left Ron and me. Mrs. Weasley would love that, I'm sure. One perfect little family. Only one problem.
I didn't want to be left with Ron. Mean as it sounds, I don't want to have all my choices beaten to a pulp. I've always wanted a chance with Harry. There was a slim chance of that now. Surely, he knew that I had feelings for Ron after my little departure there.
As Harry opened his mouth, the absurdity that was Lavender's screeching laughter pierced my eardrums. Turning to see her skipping merrily along side Ron, I wanted to desperately hex the both of them. Didn't Ron know that maybe, just maybe I was supposed to be an important girl to someone? If not Harry, then maybe Ron?
Of course not. He wasn't the brightest Lumos in the bunch.
"Oops!" Lavender giggled. "I think this room's taken." She quickly skipped from the room, Ron standing there like an idiot, expecting something out of me.
"What's with the birds?" He laughed.
That was it?
I don't know why I should have expected more.
Standing up and glaring at him, I just wanted him to know how hurt I was. And like always, I needed to demonstrate it.
"Opuggno."
Keeping my eyes steady on him, I watched as the birds that hovered us darted in Ron's direction, trying to attack. To my dismay, he avoided them, halting at the door.
He finally knew how mad I was. But that wouldn't change things.
As he left, I felt my heart breaking. It wasn't because he was parading around with that witch. It was the fact that while Ron was with Lavender, Harry would probably have Ginny after the war.
Where did that leave me?
Sinking down to sit, I could feel Harry shift beside me, his body growing closer. I didn't care if I was breaking boundaries. The moment I felt his arm brush against mine, I gripped it, wrapping my own arm around his. The weight of his arm settled against my leg and my head fell on his shoulder, grateful he knew how much I did need someone to lean on for once.
My heart skipped a beat when I felt him take my hand for a moment before his other caress my arm, rubbing soothingly.
Immediately, I knew that my crying was making his shirt wet.
Harry always surprised me.
After a few shaky breaths from him, my breath literally stopped.
"It feels like this."
What did that mean?
A/N: This isn't the end. :] Review, please.
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