Disclaimer: Refer to chapter one.
A/N: I know it's been ages since I last posted. My break's been busy, but I hope I haven't lost anyone here! This is chapter five with Harry's account on the death of Professor Dumbledore and the final scene between Harry and Hermione on the tower. And I assure you that I have changed more than I have in the past in this chapter and then the next. You guys should enjoy it. :]
And I Did Nothing
I laid there, shivering for a few minutes as Snape and the others stalked off near Hagrid's hut. There was nothing I could do. I laid there, feeling like every fiber in my body was on fire. Snape had been the Half-Blood Prince and he was Voldemort's Death Eater. I couldn't get the look out of my eyes. Dumbledore falling off the tower after the green light enveloped him. Dumbledore trusted Snape and so did I. I had given him the benefit of the doubt after first year - after I thought he wasn't the one trying to kill me, but to save me. And what had he done now? He was ultimately who I thought he was.
The bad guy.
I turned my head and looked toward the castle. Bellatrix had cast the Dark Mark into the stormy skies, its skill wavering back and forth as the clouds hid the moon. The snake slithered around as it pulled itself through the skulls mark, making everything eerie. With the little strength I had, I got up and started toward the castle. I needed to see if there was a battle there, if Ron was hurt. If Hermione was hurt.
The steps to the castle seemed endless as I went up the hills and past the open gates and doors. The gate was knarled and curled together as if someone had taken their bare hands and broken in. The doors were half cracked or smashed. I passed the Great Hall where the glass of the windows were in millions of pieces scattered on the tables and grounds. The candles were blown out and grey smoke floated across the once-enchanted ceiling.
All the while, I felt a pulsing pain in my chest. I walked down the corridors and out to the familiar path I had walked so many times. My memory of Hermione and I running across this courtyard to save Sirius was my fondest and now it seemed that that memory was taken away.
I saw the backs of th students, standing there in shocked stances. Pushing my way through, I trotted to the front where Professor McGonagall was. Beside her, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stood looking in front of them, their expressions ashen and shocked. My eyes followed their gazes until it landed on the limp heap that was Professor Dumbledore. He laid there, his body tangled in his robes, his beard falling to one side. I swallowed hard and walked over slowly - half-expecting someone to pull me back.
No one did.
Slowly, I knelt down and looked at his pale face. His eyes wide open with no life in them made me want to retch. My shaky hand reached toward him, my fingers gently pulling his eyelids shut and his hair away from his wrinkled face. I sat on my knees and looked at him before my eyes fell on the locket beside him. Closing my hands around it, the locket felt cold in my hands. This stupid thing. None of this would have happened.
Not if I hadn't been the blasted Boy-Who-Lived.
And then I realized - it was hollow.
Once more I reached out and pressed my hand to his chest. Even through his layers of clothes, I could feel the coldness of his skin - the still beat of his heart. What was going to happen now? Dumbeldore had been the only one guiding me through this. Everything that had happened since my first year, Dumbledore had been the one to reassure me and believe in me.
I had never felt as alone as I did now.
Breathing shakily, I could feel the tears sting my eyes. Merlin, to makes things worse I was going to cry. But in the next moment, I felt someone beside me and an arm go around my back. At first touch, I hoped it would be Hermione. She'd be the only person I could calm down to. My anger coursed through me at the thought of Snape and what he had done - what little family he had taken from me.
And then I realized that the curtain of red hair was far from Hermione. I took small comfort as Ginny held onto me and the thought of holding all this shit in - all the fury I had inside me dissipated temporarily as Ginny held me. I couldn't cry in front of her - I…it felt so wrong to. But it would hurt her even more if I pushed her away now. Closing my eyes, I kept my hand on Dumbledore's chest and leaned on Ginny's arm, shielding my face so that I wouldn't show anyone I was weak.
As everyone pulled their wands to the sky in Dumbledore's honor, the flood of emotions threatened to break through it all.
I had been so wrong about everything and I couldn't take it back now.
***
Professor McGonagall's words stayed in my head as I stood upon the tower on which Dumbledore had fallen, standing beside Hermione. You meat a great deal to him.
That had only made everything worse in my mind. I had let him down. I stood there and watched as Snape killed him without mercy - looked him dead in the eye and killed him in one sweep. I could have done something. Instead, when Snape hushed me and I thought he was going to help, he betrayed me.
"Do you think he would have done it - Draco?" Hermione's voice rang through my thoughts, interrupting McGonagall's mantra. My arms were pressed against the railing of the tower, my eyes cast on the school grounds. I was silent for a while.
"No. No, he was lowering his wand." He was a coward. "In the end it was Snape. It was always Snape. And I did nothing." I could hear the hate in my voice for myself. Surely, Hermione heard it as well, but she didn't turn away. Instead, her body turned toward mine and I looked down at her hands. Gripped in my hand was the locket.
"It was fake. Open it." I closed my eyes and refrained from sighing as she delicately opened it with her fingers, reaching in to pull out the small piece of parchment that was cupped inside.
"To the Dark Lord. I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I wanted you to know it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hopes that when you meet your match, you'll be mortal once more. R.A.B. R.A.B." She looked at me then and I could see the question in her eyes.
"I don't know. But whoever they are, they have the real Horcux. It means it was all a waste. All of it," I muttered, hearing Ron's disappearing footsteps down the spiraling staircase. Smarmy git, he could never handle bad news.
I watched Hermione play with the locket for a moment before turning back to the school grounds. "Ron's okay with it. If I were you when he's around, I'd keep the snogging to a minimum." She managed a weak chuckle. If things were only that simple. Ginny was the last thing on my mind.
"I'm not coming back, Hermione. I've got to finish whatever Dumbledore started. And I don't know where that will lead me, but I'll let you and Ron know where I am when I can." Leaving the two of them would be the painful part, the hard part. Not being able to see either of them or knowing that I may not even live to see them…be together was painful. I may not have even lived to see either of them happy.
"I've always admired your courage Harry. But sometimes you can be really thick," I heard the amusement in her voice despite the situation. We looked at each other. "You really don't think you'll be able to find all those Horcruxes by yourself, do you?" I'd thought of that actually. Plenty of times. That's why I reasoned with myself that I was going to die either way. I was trying hard not to drag the two of them in. If Ron got hurt, I would have been absolutely furious.
If Hermione had gotten hurt…I wouldn't even know what to do with myself.
"You need us, Harry."
I closed my eyes. "I can't."
"What?" She looked at me then, confusion in her eyes.
No matter how much I wanted to stay here with Ron and Hermione, I knew I couldn't. And there was no way I would take either of them with me. Was she absolutely daft? "You're not going."
"What do you mean I'm not going? Of course I'm going. You think I'd even let you think about leaving me here?" Hermione pressed, her eyes dark.
"I've made up my mind. I'm leaving on my own. And you can't come with. I won't let you," I whispered, turning away.
"You can't tell me what to do. I won't let you go without me. One way or another I'm co-"
"YOU'RE. NOT. COMING." I gritted the words through my teeth as I slammed my hands onto the railing on either side of her waist, the rusty metal digging into my palms. Heavy breathes escaped my lips as I looked down at our shoes, my gaze blurry for a moment. "If you got hurt, I don't know what I'd do Hermione."
"Ron and I are per-"
"I know you're capable of taking care of yourselves. If Ron got hurt, I know he'd manage. But if you got hurt, I have no idea what I'm capable of. You need to understand that." I squeezed out, my chest hurting. "Dumbledore's dead because I stood there and let it happen. I hadn't even seen it coming. Do you think I'd even for a minute consider you coming along?"
I knew my voice was wavering now. Thinking of Hermione hurt was painful. Thinking of her dead made my blood run cold.
We stood there for how long, I don't know. The moment I felt her arms sliding around my neck and pulling me toward her, I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled her to me and crushed her against me.
"Oh, Harry." She sighed, her warm breath against my ear. I always loved those two words from her mouth.
"You're so stupid," she whispered, her fingers gliding through my messy hair. "I know the risks. I know the odds we're at here, but you have to know by now, if I was going to stand on the sidelines and wait for you, then you're wrong. Whether you want me there or not, I'll follow you anywhere."
And that was when I realized I was crying.
I had never cried in front of anyone. When I was younger, the Dursleys locked me in my room before I could start. The last time I cried was after Sirius died and I was alone. And now it seemed that every shitty thing that's happened to me was catching up to me as Hermione held me. I would have never been able to let myself cry in front of Ginny or Ron.
"I know you're absolutely stark-crazy over Professor Dumbledore, but I can take care of myself. You really think you can get rid of me?" I heard the smile in her words. It was always like her to try to be witty at a time like this.
She pulled back and looked at me, my face probably wet and tear-stained. Her gaze was warm as it always has been, sucking me in whenever I dared to look her in the eye and like that, it felt like every emotion was pouring from me in that one look. Her fingers wiped away the spots on my face, her index finger lingering near my lips - I hadn't missed that.
"You need me." At that, a cry was let through the air as the two of us turned to see Fawkes flying overhead, his fiery feathers melding against the pale sun. I pulled my arms away from her and leaned against the railing, my hand grasping hers.
"I do." I looked down at the school grounds and realized that I had never seen this place look so quiet and peaceful. "You know, I never realized how beautiful this place was."
Hermione squeezed my hand. "Yeah, me either."
A/N: So yes! This is the second to last chapter. :] Again, I'm so sorry I haven't posted in the longest time - since August! School's been amazing, my first semester's been a blast and I hope everyone's new year is going the way they thought it would. Right now, I only have one more chapter in mind for this story, maybe two. I don't know for sure. :] But please, stay around and…
REVIEW!
-->