Harry thought a shower would help his back, and perhaps lift his spirits. He stood against the on rushing water with his face in the stream. His mind was on fire with racing thoughts of both hope and disappointment. He left the shower when he realized it wasn't helping his back or his spirits. He got dressed and headed for the kitchen. He wasn't incredibly hungry and wound up eating a piece of toast and a glass of milk. He found put his dish in his sink and shuffled to his couch. He sat down and yawned once before he decided that he was too restless and bored to stay in the house all day.
He considering calling someone to go out with him, but the people he would want to see didn't have phones. Finally he decided to just go around to Ron and Luna's place. He didn't know which place they had eventually ended up sharing, his or hers, so he checked them both. The walk did him good. He had forgotten how dull it could be without something to do all day. He thought about getting a job, but he had more money than he could spend in a hundred lifetimes as it was. Still the fresh air was nice.
When he managed his way to the apartment where Luna once lived on her own he found that it occupied by a young couple and their infant child. They were on the balcony of the place, apparently just enjoying a day with the three of them together. Harry smiled as he looked at them. There was a part of him that liked the notion of having a family one day. He had spent much of his childhood trying to build himself a kind of surrogate family. Deep down he had always wanted one of his own. He spent a while looking at the happy family before he started to feel like he was invading their privacy and set off for Ron's apartment.
When he got there he found himself waiting outside for a few minutes. There was something about the way they were when they were together that made Harry feel empty. Still he knocked. He wondered if he should say something about last night. He would normally just ask Hermione, she was the best person with this sort of thing, but in this instance he thought that might be a poor idea. The door opened up with Luna on the other side. She smiled warmly and gave Harry a great big hug before inviting him in. She lead him through the apartment. It was larger than his. Ron had once shared it with both Neville and Seamus after the war. It looked as though those two had moved out. From What Harry recalled Seamus had wound up working in the Ministry while Neville taught Herbology at Hogwarts. Both could afford their own places these days.
Harry took a seat on a divan, which he found tremendously uncomfortable though he didn't say such. Luna returned from the kitchen with a plate of biscuits and some milk. Harry had a few but still wasn't terribly comfortable. He looked around for a tall man with bright red hair, but Ron wasn't there so he inquired.
"He's with Ginny." Luna said knowingly, "She came around last night and told us about that bit of business between you two."
"Right, that." Harry said embarrassed, "I wasn't trying to cause a problem or anything."
"You rarely do, way I recall it." Luna smiled.
"Is Ron upset?" Harry wondered nervously
"No, we were just surprised." Luna remarked slowly, "With everything that's gone on between you two, we all just thought a happy ending was in order."
"I hate to disappoint." Harry said coldly, "But my personal life is my own affair."
"We don't think differently." Luna defended, "We're just worried about you."
"What did she say?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"Nothing bad. She said it all went down very nicely." Luna said, "It's just, well we all went through so much with you, Harry. We were all there when it ended and we all remember how it weighed on you afterwards. Then you went away. For so long, Harry. Then you come back and you're happy and full of life. It was great, it really was, to see you that way."
"I'm glad to hear that." Harry said cautiously, "So you're worried about me now, because?"
"Because of the way you looked at Ron and me." She blushed.
"What?" Harry asked surprised.
"When we came over." She answered, "You had such a sad look on your face. I figured you were honest when you said you were jealous of us. But the first chance you get to have something with someone you throw it away."
"I didn't throw it away." He defended himself, "It just wasn't what I was looking for."
"Is there someone else?" Luna asked with her ethereal smile plastered on her face.
"Not exactly." Harry winced, "But...I don't know there was something last night."
"Really? Luna said with her normal subdued interest, "What was it?"
"I had a moment with this girl." Harry tried very hard not to use her name, "We played in this fountain. Like kids." He smiled with a faraway look in his eyes, "It was great."
"Sounds wonderful." She patted his hand.
"It was." His eyes suddenly grew dark, "But, I messed it up. I tried to play it so cool, I was starting to really feel something. Like I haven't felt before, You know. But I... Merlin, I'm such a fuck up."
"That's a little harsh isn't it?" Luna protested.
"I accidentally walked in on her changing." Harry confessed.
"Okay, yeah." Luna nodded with a wince, "That's not the best thing that could ever happen."
"The next morning she was gone. Without a word." He lamented.
"You two?" Luna approached the subject with caution, "Did you..?" She moved her cupped hands together as a visual representation of her meaning.
"No." Harry said quickly with great embarrassment, "No nothing happened. We're just friends."
"Is that all?" Luna asked questioned, "Are you happy with that arrangement?"
"I try not to think about it." Harry said, "But no, I'm not happy with it. I just don't know what to do about it."
"You could tell her how you feel." Luna offered.
"No, I can't." Harry sighed, "She doesn't feel the same way."
"How do you know until you ask?" Luna questioned.
"Because she's too good for me. She's too amazing." Harry said getting frustrated trying to explain himself.
"You're Harry Potter!" Luna said as though she was explaining an equation to a physicist, "You're bloody amazing! How do you not realize these things? You must've been replaced with a spotted Gangritch at birth."
"I can't!" Harry stood up, "She's too amazing, too wonderful. She's..She's.. Merlin! She's Hermione!" There was a slight moment of silence while Luna and Harry regained their composure.
"That is complicated." Luna agreed.
"You're telling me." Harry smiled, "What's a guy to do?"
"I honestly don't know." Luna shrugged, "With everything. It's not the biggest surprise, there was always a kind of tension between you two. Anyone could see it."
"Ultimately she chose another guy." Harry pointed out, "Message received. Loud and clear."
"True." Luna smiled, "But it was Ron. You can hardly blame a girl for going for him."
"Would you stop gushing over your fiancée for a minute." Harry kidded.
"No problem." Luna joked, "But maybe you shouldn't base your future so heavily on your past."
"Why not?" Harry shrugged, "I'm the Boy-who-lived. My past has always had a good amount of pull over my future."
"Don't go to that place again." Luna warned, "You just got over being so dark and gloomy all the time."
"I know." Harry sat upright, "It's just the kind of conversation that makes you feel dark and gloomy."
"I think you should talk to her." Luna suggested, "It couldn't hurt to at least get it all off your chest."
"I'll think about it." Harry said honestly, "But don't think less of me if I never do it."
"I won't." Luna promised.
"And this business with me and Hermione." Harry said confidently, "That's just between you and I, right?"
"Absolutely." Luna crossed her heart with her finger.
"Thanks." Harry smiled, "Do you want to do something? I'm terrible bored."
"I have a lot to do around her." Luna said, "There is a wedding coming up."
"Yeah. Okay. I get that." Harry shrugged.
"You could help out here if you like." Luna said as she turned around to pull out a few folders from the desk next to her chair. When she turned back around Harry Potter was gone, her front door hanging open like in a cartoon, "Or not. I guess."
* * *
When Hermione got back from lunch she found a note taped to her office door. It said only, "Sorry about last night. Forgive me? -H" She chuckled at his gesture. He was so sweet to her. When she opened her door she walked into a room filled with expensive first edition novels laid out in neat stacks and surrounded by flowers. She smiled a big glowing smile and spent the rest of her day happy. She had been beating herself up over that kiss on the forehead. Now it seemed so silly and so small. She had no idea that Harry had been so worried about that little incident. She was frankly surprised that in there many years of friendship that they had not seen each other in even more varied states of undress.
She left her office at five and decided not to go back home. She felt like too much was happening all at once to bother going home. She went around to Harry's but he wasn't in so she decided to go have a drink at the pub. She had one large mixed drink before she took the bus to her flat. When she opened the door she saw Ron sitting in the living room. Ginny was on the couch. Neither looked mad but they certainly didn't look happy. Hermione always having been the clever one had little trouble figuring out why Ron was there.
She hung up her coat and had a seat next to Ginny. Ginny smiled at her and leaned her head against her shoulder. Hermione patted her head and smiled back at her. Hermione thought Ginny was handling the situation very well. Ginny had spent most of Harry's three years away trying to date and having it get nowhere. She eventually settled on just enjoying an active nightlife. She had said that Harry was a tough act to follow, something which Hermione could understand. Still after her first night crying her eyes out she had been very comfortable with the notion of just friendship, though she still wasn't ready to face him.
"How are you, Ron?" Hermione inquired.
"I've been doing great." Ron pointed to Ginny, "Just here for Gin. She's a real trooper."
"Yes, she has been." Hermione said with pride for her friend. Ginny squeezed her hand.
"I couldn't have gotten through it without Hermione." Ginny said nicely, "She's been great."
"Yeah?" Ron looked thankfully at Hermione, "Good on you."
"Are you upset with Harry?" Hermione asked.
"No." Ron smiled, "I've spent too long missing him to be angry with him."
"Who knows how long he'll stick around this time." Ginny said coldly.
"Stop that." Ron reprimanded her.
"I'm sorry." Ginny said genuinely, "I'm just being catty. Call it a phase."
"It's understandable, Ginny." Hermione said soothingly.
"Still, I'm sorry." She said.
"Don't worry about it." Ron said, "Though he's still out a plus one."
"So it was you." Hermione said amused, "Always the matchmaker, you are."
"I'm a hopeless romantic." Ron shrugged, "But you can't win them all."
"I suppose so." Hermione said quietly.
When Ron decided it was time to go Ginny excused herself to her room and Hermione was left sitting on the couch. She reached into her bag and pulled out one of the books she had brought home from the office. She turned to the first page and put it down. She couldn't concentrate on reading. Images of Harry blushing or sleeping swam through her head. Replaced in rapid turn around with images of a crying Ginny and a disappointed Ron. She felt a queasy movement in her stomach. She began to ring her hands together.
She got up and walked to the bathroom so she could look at herself in the mirror. Try to gain some perspective on everything. She remembered the framed note in Harry's bedroom. The way it was displayed with prominence in his room. She recalled holding Ginny until she fell asleep with tears still in her eyes. Suddenly the feeling in her stomach began to steadily increase until she was afraid that she would vomit. She had a looming sense of doom about her. She looked down and saw her hands shaking. She couldn't explain it. She was feeling like she was wading through murky water. Nothing seemed clear anymore. She looked up at the mirror and saw herself. She didn't know when it had begun but she was crying.
"Oh God." Hermione whimpered before trudging down the hall and to her bed. She had been having such a wonderful day until then.