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If I Fell by anAnomaLy
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If I Fell

anAnomaLy

What had been an eventful first day of classes was, thankfully, followed by a weekend. The students of Hogwarts were unanimously thankful for their school's scheduling quirk that made their first day of classes always fall on September 2, even if that day happened to be a Friday. With only one day's worth of homework hanging over their heads, the students were able to enjoy the remarkably good weather that was currently gracing northern Scotland. Although the air was cool enough to require a jacket or light sweater, Saturday and Sunday were both sunny, with only a few wisps of clouds skittering across the deep blue of the sky. Thus, by the time Monday rolled around, the students had had their fill of outdoor romps and sunshine and were ready to tackle their second week of classes.

First period Defense Against the Dark Arts was a review, just as the first class had been, so when she walked into the Potions classroom for second period, Lily was very glad to see a dozen cauldrons set up and a jumbled collection of bottled potions ingredients sitting on a table beside Professor Slughorn's desk. She glanced at the blackboard, where Slughorn was busily drawing what looked to be a series of illustrations of potions ingredients, followed by a list of instructions.Evidently they were going to do something more than listen to a lecture today.

An excited smile spread over her lips as she walked over and took a seat behind one of the cauldrons. Being an inquisitive, intelligent witch, Lily enjoyed all of her classes, but she particularly relished Potions lessons. It wasn't merely because it was her best subject. There was something thrilling about brewing a potion, for this brand of magic required a certain level of ingenuity and allowed for a remarkable degree of creativity. There was really only one way to cast a good shield charm, but there were a hundred ways to brew a cauldron full of a shrinking solution. Each little variation in the ingredients, the method of brewing, or the time of brewing would produce a slightly different product. Some turned out better than others, and Lily's, of course, usually turned out the best. Having fully grasped the basics of potion-making by the end of her fourth year, Lily had spent the past two years of her academic career perfecting her own particular fashion of brewing a potion. Today's class, to her delight, would provide her another chance to do just that. So it was with a happy little smile that she set her book bag on the floor beside her bench and leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table in front of her, while she began trying to decipher what Slughorn was writing on the blackboard.

Her musings were disrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching and coming to a halt beside her bench. She heard the soft thud of another schoolbag being dropped to the floor, and then a low, tense voice asked, "Mind if I sit here?"

Lifting her chin from where it had been resting on the palms of her hands, Lily looked up and was surprised to see Severus Snape standing beside her bench, waiting for her response with cool, black eyes.

"Oh, er.. sure," she fumbled, sliding over on the bench to make room for him. As Severus sat down beside her, she glanced curiously over at him, wondering what had prompted his seating choice this morning. Two years ago, it would have been a normal occurrence. During their friendship in their first five years of school, Lily and Severus had been partners for every class, having discovered early on in their schooling that they were equally interested and equally talented in the subject. But ever since their conversation at the end of Fifth Year in which she had informed Severus that she wanted nothing more to do with him, they had generally found other partners for potions work. The two had rarely spoken since then, although by now Lily's anger towards him had abated into mere frustration with the path he had chosen.

But even though their friendship was in shambles, Lily still felt some affection for the boy who had been her first friend in the wizarding world. And she certainly didn't want to spend the entire class period sitting beside him in an uncomfortable silence, so, finally, she turned towards him and asked, "So how were your summer holidays?"

Severus looked mildly surprised that she had initiated conversation and that she had asked a question to which he was certain she knew the answer. The corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly as he responded, "The usual." After a beat, he added, "And yours?"

The minute the question left her mouth, Lily had mentally cringed, remembering that his home life was something Severus had never liked to discuss. In her defense, it had been the only topic she could think of.

"They went well," she answered, venturing a tiny smile. "I'm glad to be back at Hogwarts, though. Isn't it odd to think that this is our last year here?"

"Indeed," he replied absently. There was another beat of silence, and then Severus gestured towards the badge pinned to Lily's chest.

"By the way, I heard on the train that you'd made Head Girl. Congratulations." His mouth twitched again in the faintest of smiles as he spoke. The conversation to which he was referring had been decidedly negative in tone. None of his Slytherin companions had been pleased with the appointment of a "dirty, upstart little Mudblood" to a position of such prestige, and Severus had wisely kept his thoughts on the matter to himself. Now, however, he was free to express his true opinion, and that was one of pride. Were he in Dumbledore's shoes, he would have made the exact same decision. Lily was kind, gracious, intelligent; there was no one better suited to the job. Potter, on the other hand.. for Severus had contributed tothatpart of the Slytherins' conversation with relish. The arrogant, obnoxious fool had done nothing to deserve the badge he now wore, and he was certain to spend all year abusing its privileges. Before he could get lost in malicious reverie, Severus realized that Lily was speaking to him again.

"Oh, yes! Thanks," she was saying. "I- well you remember how I wanted the job."

And he did, even though this particular conversation had taken place back in the summer before Fifth Year, when Lily had first received her owl containing her Prefect's badge. He remembered that conversation vividly. She had found him in the neighborhood park where they usually met and rushed over to tell him, cheeks flushed and eyes glowing with excitement. Almost like they were now.. Catching himself, he deliberately forced his eyes from hers before she could notice him staring.

"I do," he answered. "And I think the Headmaster made an excellent choice."

Lily was about to reply when the bell rang to signal the start of class, and Professor Slughorn turned around to begin his lesson. Once he had collected the homework assignment (an essay on the magical properties of common Muggle herbs), he began to explain what he had been writing before class began.

"On the board behind me, I have attempted to illustrate a series of plants that those of you who did not do your homework will not recognize. That would be because they are herbs found in kitchen gardens, more commonly in Muggle kitchen gardens." He stepped to the side of the blackboard and gestured at it, asking, "Can anyone name any of them?"

Both Severus and Lily raised their hands, as did a few other class members. Slughorn nodded in Lily's direction, "Ah Miss Evans, of course. Which of these do you recognize?"

"Well that one on the right is peppermint, I think," Lily said. It really was a bit hard to tell, thanks to the poor quality of the drawing. "And the one to the left of it is chamomile. That's all I know."

"The leftmost one is licorice," Severus drawled lazily.

Slughorn waited for any other of his students to identify the remaining two plants. When no responses were forthcoming, he answered his own question, "Excellent, both of you. The other two are arnica and burdock root. Now can anyone tell me why Muggles grow these herbs?"

Lily's hand was, again, the first raised.

"They use them for herbal remedies. As medicine."

"Correct again," Slughorn beamed at his favorite student. "And, even without the aid of other, magical herbs these remedies are sometimes successful. However, they are most effective when their natural properties are combined with those of magical plants, which is why Healers and Mediwizards use them in medicinal potions. In fact, the use of these herbs alongside the magical ones can make your potion either more or less potent, depending on which herbs you add in. So! Your assignment for today is a practical one. I've listed the properties of the five herbs on the board. On the table you'll find samples of each one. Your task is to use any combination of these herbs to enhance the Pepperup Potion, whose instructions are located on page seventy-three of your textbook. You have approximately one hour and nineteen minutes left, which should be plenty of time to accomplish your assignment."

Instantly, the dungeon classroom was filled with the sound of rustling pages, scraping benches and hurried footsteps as the twenty-four students began their assigned task. Lily, who enjoyed these puzzle-like lessons, looked over at Severus with a conspiratorial grin. While the rest of the class began lighting fires beneath their cauldrons or grabbing their new ingredients from the table at the front of the class, she pulled her copy ofAdvanced Potion-Makingfrom her bag and opened it to page seventy-three. He did the same, and both were silent for a few minutes as they read over the brewing instructions.

"What are you thinking?" he finally asked.

"Well," Lily began, looking up from her book, "The only negative side-effect of a Pepperup Potion is the fact that it makes steam come out your ears. So maybe if we added something with cooling properties, like-"

"Peppermint," Severus interrupted, nodding along and bending his head down towards his textbook to scribble a note in the margin.

"Yes, exactly. And peppermint also has cleansing properties, so I don't think it would make the potion any less potent.."

"Perhaps some chamomile, too. Madame Pomfrey's version does tend to burn the throat a bit as you drink it," he added, still scribbling away.

Lily nodded her agreement and stood up.

"All right. If you get the brewing started, I'll get our extra ingredients." And she hurried off to the table at the front of the classroom, where the Head Boy was currently counting a rather large amount of peppermint leaves into his hand. "Can I get a couple sprigs of that too, Potter?" she asked as she reached for the bottle of chamomile.

She must have startled James, because he promptly dropped the bottle onto the table, sending peppermint sprigs flying everywhere.

"I say, Potter!" Slughorn exclaimed, heaving himself to his feet to clean up the mess. "Watch that you don't go breaking my bottles or you'll be staying after class to clean up the mess."

Lily, who was surprised by the usually mild-mannered Professor's outburst, flashed an apologetic smile at James. She took her requested peppermint from the pile now on the table and headed back to her cauldron, where Severus had the fire beneath it lit and was stirring the water as he waited for it to boil.

"Here we go. Two sprigs of peppermint and one of chamomile," she said, laying them beside the usual ingredients, which he had already laid out. "When should we add them in?"

"The peppermint ought to go in with the ginger root, since that's the side-effect we want to counter," he replied, reading over the instructions in his book again.

Lily nodded and looked over her own textbook.

"We'll add the chamomile last then, since we don't want its effects to linger that long."

With their course of action decided, the pair began slicing and juicing the required ingredients. As they labored over the cauldron, Lily felt the tension between the two of them begin to dissipate. This was familiar territory. In the haze-filled classroom, with a delicate task on which they could both focus, it was easy to forget the shambles of their former friendship and distance that now stood between them. By the time an hour had passed and their potion had begun to give off a faint, orange steam, Lily was fully at ease. Judging by the unusually relaxed posture of Severus' shoulders, he was as well.

"Shall I do the honors?" Lily asked, holding the sprig of chamomile over the cauldron. He nodded, and she dropped it in. Five and a half clockwise stirs later, the potion became a less vibrant shade of orange and gave off far less steam than it had before.

Slughorn, who was making his usual rounds of the classroom to inspect his students' progress, arrived at Severus and Lily's cauldron just in time to witness the transformation.

"What have we here?" he asked, leaning over the steaming cauldron and taking a whiff. "Is that... peppermint? And something else I can't quite place."

"It's chamomile, sir," Lily explained.

"Ah! To soothe the throat on the way down?" the Potions master asked, a proud smile on his face. Both students nodded and Slughorn pulled out his wand to produce a flask. "Excellent. Excellent. Full marks for both of you. I just might have to save some of this for my next head cold." As he spoke, he siphoned off some of the liquid into the flask, corked it, and moved on to the next pair of students.

Lily shared a congratulatory smile with Severus, and pulled out her wand, holding it poised over the cauldron.

"Before I vanish it, do you want some of our miracle potion for yourself?" she teased. The faintest gleam of mirth shone in the black depths of her former best friend's eyes, but he shook his head. With a shrug, Lily waved her wand over the cauldron, and the liquid inside disappeared.

With her assignment completed, Lily was free to divert her attention elsewhere in the classroom. Professor Slughorn was now two cauldrons away, where he was about to inspect James and Sirius' potion. Remembering James' explanation a few evenings ago of the reason for his exclusion from the Slug Club, Lily's curiosity was piqued. She watched the exchange from behind her cauldron as she packed up her potions kit.

There was no smile on Slughorn's face as he bent over the cauldron and sniffed. After a quick whiff, he glanced briefly at the cauldron contents and asked, "You added peppermint as well, Potter, Black?"

"Yes, sir," James answered.

"Good, good. Full marks to both of you," Slughorn responded, then moved along to the next cauldron.

Lily hid a smile as she watched James' reaction and found herself sympathizing with him for what was possibly the first time. He and Sirius' potion had been essentially the same as hers and Severus', yet it had not received nearly as warm an acclamation. Perhaps there really was something to James' theory about the crystallized pineapple, although she wondered if the Head Boy's penchant for getting in scraps with Slytherins also had something to do with it. Severus, who had also been watching the exchange, of course thought it to be perfectly fair. He wore a satisfied smirk as he set about packing up his own things in anticipation of the bell's ringing at the end of class.

A few minutes later when the bell finally rang, Slughorn, who had by now returned to the front of the class, called out over the sound of scraping benches and shuffling feet, "I expect you to have read the next two chapters in your book by the time you arrive for class on Wednesday." Whether or not all the students had heard him was dubious, but that was their own affair.

Shouldering her school bag, Lily paused for a moment beside the bench and looked at Severus.

"Well, I'll.. see you around, I s'pose," she said awkwardly, unsure what else to say. The tension from earlier that morning had returned, as they both knew they had nothing much to say to one another outside the Potions classroom.

Severus opened his mouth as if to say something, but apparently thought better of it.

"See you," he finally said, then picked up his book sack and joined the crowd of students leaving the classroom

Lily stood motionless for a few moments, watching him leave as she tried, again, to discern his motive for asking to sit by her today. Finally she shrugged and left the classroom as well. Severus had always been difficult to read, although he'd been more open with her than with any of his housemates. Perhaps he really had just wanted, as an old friend, to congratulate her. Once she was out in the hallway, she caught sight of James and Sirius leaning against the wall, most likely waiting for their other two compatriots. She paused as she passed by them to comment to James, "You know, I think you were right. Swapping out his crystallized pineapple ruined your chances with Professor Slughorn forever."

James looked up, rather ruffled at being intentionally addressed by Lily. His hand twitched automatically upward, but he fought off the urge to rumple his perpetually untidy black hair.

"Oh," he said, a smile drifting across his lips, "you know how fussy the man is. And besides, I'd trade the look on his face when he ate that fake pineapple for a schmoozing club any day."

James was trying very hard to appear aloof and uncaring, but the injustice of it all irked him. He would willfully acknowledge the fact that he and Sirius were far from angelic and often spent a good portion of the class cutting up. And yet, he and Sirius had done everything exactly right today, and all they had gotten was a grunt and full marks? It was preposterous. And for salt cubes!

To make matters worse, the boy had been distracted throughout the entire lesson. James was of the opinion that he and Lily had started the year off on a very good foot. But this dissolved rather quickly when that greasy bat Snape had come and sat by her as if he was somehow entitled. That poisonous bloke who called Lily "Mudblood" could apparently waltz right up to her and plunk down beside her as if nothing had ever happened. James was no fool; he knew that there had been a massive falling-out between his favorite girl and the dodgy, hook-nosed boy. It had been tortuous to watch them from his peripheral vision the entire class period as they worked over their cauldron, all cozy and familiar. James had been trying for several years to scrape up those sort of privileges with Lily, but Snape was somehow able to drop her and then scoop her back up again at his leisure.

Lily looked at him curiously, as though she didn't quite believe that the slight Professor Slughorn had given hadn't bothered him. Something was off with the way Potter's arms were crossed, as if he was taking particular care to appear nonchalant. She blinked before continuing, "I s'pose. Still, your potion was just as good as mine and Severus'. He could have at least given the pair of you House points or something."

James felt his temper rising. How on earth could she and Snape still be on a first-name basis after all that had happened between them? It was no secret that they had had some great to-do right after O.W.L.s. Lily had once been spotted by James and his mates crying by herself. Even now, thinking about someone intentionally hurting Lily Evans was enough to get James' wand hand ready. But she had let the Dark Arts-obsessed little weasel worm his way back into her life. And here she was, gloating over her Potions victory! What on earth was she playing at?

"Yeah, well," he said sneeringly. "We can't all be Slughorn's golden children, now can we?"

Something in James' tone made Sirius look over at James and Lily with a mix of amusement and concern, but he kept silent and waited to see what sort of turn the conversation would take.

For her part, Lily was quite taken aback at how quickly the Head Boy had grown hostile. Her cheeks tinged with color as her proffered hand of friendship was so decidedly slapped away, and her own temper flared at the condescention in his voice.

"Yeah," she agreed before she could check herself, "that must be hard for you, Potter. How ever does your enormous ego manage to endure it?"

At this point, Sirius, who had been waiting with James for Remus and Peter to arrive, caught sight of his friends. Without comment, he excused himself to go and watch the show from a safe distance.

It was James' turn to be taken aback. Though he was admittedly being far less than sweet to the girl, he wondered where on earth her venom came from.

"My ego?" he scoffed. "Oh, dear little miss. You flatter me. You came over here for congratulations on being proven class favorite again? Well, here you are. ÔGrats. We're all so very proud of the Unstoppable Potions Duo."

James' tone nearly dripped with sarcasm as he tried very hard to mask the tinge of hurt he felt at the fact that Snape, of all people, was allowed to waltz in and out of her life whenever he pleased.

Lily's eyes widened at the shock of his outburst, then narrowed in anger at being called a teacher's pet. Of all the ignorant, self-righteous prats! Quite tempted to stamp her foot, she opened her mouth to respond;

"You're pathetic! Throwing a little hissy fit all because someone in this school isn't worshiping the ground you walk on?"

Fifteen feet away, Sirius nudged Remus.

"Someone better pull them apartÉ" he muttered.

James rolled his eyes. "Stuff it, Evans" he said, wanting very much for this interaction to be over.

Lily, however, was unwilling to let this blatant immaturity go without censure. Truth be told, she had been waiting for something like this to happen ever since she had run into the Potters in Diagon Alley. Now that she had even the slightest excuse, she was more than ready to release her frustration at the tousle-haired lad who, in her opinion, was hell-bent on squandering his talents for petty thrills.

"Did you ever stop to think, Potter, that not everyone is impressed by the ridiculous number of childish pranks you can manage to pull in one year?"

James' jaw grew taut and his teeth clenched together, but Lily was not finished.

"Or by the number of times you can disrupt a class with your so-called Ôwitty' commentary?" Lily's hands were balled into angry fists.

James scarcely heard her. In fact, he was trying his best to ignore the grievances she was laying against him. Pulling pranks and cracking jokes were hardly Unforgivables. He looked down at his wrist, pretending to check his watch.

"Can we keep this one short?" he asked casually. "I've got to host Quidditch trials sometime next week."

Remus glanced at Sirius.

"You know, mate," he said quietly, "we really ought to grab him before he does some irreparable damage."

Lily had opened her mouth to continue haranguing him, but was stopped short by his comment. Her face flushed. Was he really so arrogant to think she had nothing better to do than nag at him? Her temper rose higher.

"Fine!" she snapped. "See if I ever try to sympathize with you again, you prat! Clearly, all you care about is having people hero-worship you."

"Oh," James countered, "this was sympathy, was it? I don't need or want your pity, Evans. I got full marks in there, same as you. You're just all puffed up because some Professor patted you on the head and told you how good you are."

Sirius, who had been watching this last exchange with something akin to fascination on his face, turned to Remus.

"Come on, one more minute. He's getting really worked up. Our friend Prongs here sure has a way with the lady-folkÉ"

Peter, who was watching with interest and wondering how this exchange fit in with Prongs' plan to win Evans over, nodded his agreement with Sirius. With a sigh, Remus resigned himself to watching James commit relationship suicide. And they had been so civil to each other the past few days! It was a shame, really.

Lily's voice rose as her anger peaked.

"My God, you're such a baby, Potter! I can't believe I have to work with you all -damn- year!"

James began speaking before Lily had a chance to finish.

"Oh, don't act such a martyr, Evans." He shook his head in disgust and made to head toward his mates. "Give my best to Snivellus, why don't you?"

Lily's jaw dropped.

"Is that what this is all about? I talk to someone you don't like and now you're throwing a temper tantrum over it? Since when do you have any say in who I talk to?"

James could feel his guard crack a little as she cottoned on to what was digging at him. He felt himself go a bit red. It was such a bother, though, how flighty she was. The first few days of term had been so pleasant. James had been sure he was making progress with her. But then, she had to go acting all cuddly with Snape, who everyone knew she wasn't even friends with anymore. Could the girl not make up her mind? And that look Snape had given him while Lily had been adding the chamomile to her potion: that sneering, victorious, smug look! James could scarcely bear it.

"Can't you just be consistent for five minutes?" he asked, wishing fervently that he hadn't said anything to her at all to begin with. He wished he and his mates had simply headed off to lunch. That he had made some funny comment to Lily instead of fighting with her in a hallway in front of a slowly growing group of underclassmen.

She stared at him.

"What the hell, Potter?" she asked, completely confused by his question. Someone tittered, and Lily became suddenly and embarrassingly aware of the small crowd of students who had gathered to watch an apparent showdown between the two Head Students.

James made a gesture as if to brush her aside. He had made it as plain as day that he thought Snape was no good, especially for someone like her who was so very clever and wonderful. If she didn't understand, he wasn't going to explain it to her.

"I'll see you around, Evans," he said, his voice once more guarded and controlled.

Lily's face flushed one shade darker as she was so cursorily dismissed.

"Whatever," she said, though there were many other things she would have liked to yell at the boy's stupid face. Instead, she turned on her heel and flounced off to find Marlene and Mary in the Great Hall as James stalked in the opposite direction toward his mates.

"C'mon," James said sourly as the four boys wove through the quickly dissipating crowd.

"Well, James," said Sirius after a few moments. "You really made an arse of yourself.

Remus, who hadn't been in Potions for the beginning of the tiff, asked quietly, "What was that all about, anyway?"

James was first to answer.

"She's ridiculous."

Sirius leaned toward Remus to translate.

"Snivellus plus Evans equals Potions partners, equals pissy Prongss."

Remus' brows rose as he comprehended.

"OhÉ" he said, glancing over at James. He wondered if it would help to remind James that ragging on Lily about Snape was not the best way to get into her good graces but decided against it.

As they strode down the hall, James could feel his anger start to ebb.

"She's justÉ and him! I dunno what she seesÉ" The rest was lost to grumbling.

Remus interrupted gently.

"It isn't as though they're best friends anymore," he said. "She was probably just being nice to himÉ"

Sirius shook his head.

"I'm with you, James," he piped in. "Scuzzy bloke needs to know when to just piss off."

Remus scarcely held back a sigh.

"And yet, somehow, yelling that at Evans won't make her like you any more."

James bristled.

"Well, I didn't ask her to come traipsing up to me to rub it in my face."

Peter frowned.

"I thought she wanted to talk to you about Professor Slughorn.."

James adjusted his bag with a bit more enthusiasm than was necessary, as this very thought was just now occurring to him.

"Do us a favor, lads, and let's not go over it again?"

Peter shrugged.

"Right," he said. "Can we hurry it up instead? I'm starving, and I hear there's shepherd's pie for lunch."

Remus nodded his assent, and after the boys had dropped their things off in Gryffindor Tower, they headed downstairs for lunch. On their way to their usual spot in the middle of things, they passed by a familiar red-haired girl having a very animated conversation with her two best friends.

"I simply can't believe him! I should have known it wouldn't take long for Potter to become the world's greatest prat again!"

James' ears burned and he tried his best to keep his focus on the table ahead. Remus accidentally brushed against Lily's back as they passed, and she glanced up, feeling instantly guilty at having been caught speaking about someone behind their back, even if it was Potter. She was determined not to look over at him, however, lest he inspire some other anger within her that would come bubbling to the surface.

Marlene's expression softened across the table as she watched Lily's cheeks blush red.

"Oh, my dear," she said consolingly. "It'll be all right. Can't you see he's just jealous?"

"Jealous of what?" Lily asked, now taking special care to ensure that her voice was lowered by an octave and several decibels. "The boy is completely mental. And such a child! A spoilt little petulant brat."

"Lily, we know," said Mary with a knowing look at Marlene. "But try and forget it happened. Maybe there was a miscommunication or something."

Lily shook her head, a curious pricking at the corners of her eyes.

"He said what he wanted very clearly." She inhaled deeply, trying to steady herself. "I just don't understand what everyone seems to see in him! I mean, I thought for about thirty seconds the other night after patrols that you know, maybe Potter is all right. Merlin's beard, was I ever wrong!"

Marlene reached across the table, patting Lily on the hand. She snuck a glance down the table, where a very glum looking Head Boy was poking at the food on his plate.

Poor Lily, she thought, looking back at her friend with sympathy etched on every feature of her face. And poor James.