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Hermione's Guide to Newfound Sorcery by the_real_mrs_potter
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Hermione's Guide to Newfound Sorcery

the_real_mrs_potter

A/N: Sorry I'm a bit behind schedule, but my plans on Sunday went later than I expected. By the time I got home, it was a little past midnight and I was exhausted so I went straight to bed and slept until noon. Thankfully, this chapter was there to greet me in my inbox as soon as I got up, fully beta'd and ready to post after a quick read-over thanks to my beta Vincent. I hope that the extra day's wait was worth it. If not, well, I apologize.

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Jessica's Guide are not mine until my plans to take over the world are complete.

Enjoy!

-

Oh My God

"Find a cure
Find a cure for my life

Oh my god
Oh you think I´m in control
Oh my god
Oh you think it´s all for fun
"
- Ida Maria (Oh My God)

Harry Potter was a very strange boy.

The morning after his arrival, he burst into the kitchen holding a melted alarm clock asking if Cornish pixies were trapped inside. Now, I have no idea what they were but from the look on his face, they didn't seem very pleasant.

"What did you do to your alarm?" I asked in, well, alarm.

He looked at it oddly before answering. "Is that what this is called, an alarm?"

I nodded. "Yes…"

"Oh, well that explains everything." He said in relief. "Is this a Muggle devise?"

"Pardon?"

"Yes, Harry." My mother answered from her seat at the table. "It's meant to wake you up on time. I set it for school."

"That's very kind of you, Jane but," He broke off and held up the melted alarm, "it appears your efforts were no match for a cranky wizard who hides his wand under his pillow."

"That's perfectly alright, dear." She said with a small smile. "I'll pick you up another on the way home from work."

"You really don't have to." Harry said. "I'll just set a charm to-"

"Nonsense. There's a shop on the way back, it won't be any trouble."

"At least let me give you some money." He insisted.

"Absolutely not."

Harry backed off and tossed the alarm in the garbage bin. I focused my attention back on the toast and marmalade on my plate as I heard him rummage through the fridge.

"Well, we must be off." My mum said, taking a final sip of her coffee. "Long day ahead of us, right dear?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, of course." My dad said tiredly as he pushed back his chair and began to follow her out the door.

"Goodbye sweetheart." My mum called.

"Bye mum!" I called after her just before she closed the door.

The kitchen was eerily silent after their departure, the only sound being Harry's rummage through the fridge. I tuned that out within a few moments and set to enjoying my own breakfast. The relaxing atmosphere was short lived, however, when Harry's hesitant voice spoke from within the fridge.

"Hermione?"

"What is it, Harry?" I asked without looking up from my plate.

"How do Muggles go about eating breakfast?"

I turned around to see him holding a case of pudding in one hand and head of lettuce in the other. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, glancing between the two food items.

"You really are completely clueless, aren't you?"

"It would damage my pride if I answered that accordingly."

I clicked my tongue and took pity on him. Even I couldn't function without a good breakfast to back me up. I pushed back my own food and walked up to Harry, grabbing his choice of breakfast out of his hands and placing them back in the fridge. I pulled out a carton of eggs, milk, and a loaf of bread. Walking over to the stove, I went about making him the same thing I had ten minutes ago: eggs and toast.

I heard his footsteps behind me and stiffened. Turning around I saw him watching intently as I scrambled the eggs into a bowl I had pulled from the cupboard. He saw that I was watching him and looked at me with a silly grin.

"So you're going to save the clueless wizard from the clutches of Muggle breakfast food?" He asked coyly.

I gave him a look. "No. I'm going to fix a bumbling moron his breakfast so he doesn't starve to death."

He rolled his eyes. "I could make breakfast with my wand you know."

"Then why don't you?"

"I'm too lazy to run back to my room and get it and apparating gives me a headache, that's why." He replied. "Besides, I need to learn to act like a Muggle anyhow, and what's more Muggle than cooking your own food?"

I set down the whisk that was in my hand and crossed my hands about my chest. "Well, I'm not teaching you a thing until you tell me what a 'Muggle' is. Is it some sort of derogatory name used to describe someone who is incompetent? Because I'll have you know-"

"Whoa, slow down slugger." He said with his hands up in the air. "'Muggle' is just a term wizards use to describe non-magic folk."

"Then when you said 'the Muggle way'..."

"I meant the non-magical way, yes."

I paused for a moment. "Then why don't you just say that?"

"It's quite a mouthful. Besides, Muggle has a certain ring to it."

I snorted. "It sounds like a rodent or something to me."

Harry laughed a little under his breath but stopped before I could fully observe the sound. "So what are you making?"

"Eggs and toast, the non-magical way." I said as I turned back around and began whisking the eggs once more.

"Cheeky." He said as he came up to the counter beside me and observed as I poured the eggs onto the warm pan atop the stove. "You'll come to use it one day, I guarantee it."

"The day I say 'Muggle' in everyday conversation is the day I fly on a broom."

"I'll hold you to that."

I smirked. "Good, because it's a very, very slim chance."

I placed the piece of bread I had taken from the bag into the toaster and pressed down the lever to lower it into the heated panels. Harry observed the action acutely as a small smile spread on his face. "It's so fascinating."

"What is?"

"You have so many tools for everything-so many machines."

"Well, they make life easier." I said as I leaned back on the counter by the stove.

"So does a wand." He replied, coming to stand next to me.

"I'll believe it when I see it." I said, turning around to stir the eggs a bit.

"At least you're open to it now and not in full-out denial."

"It's hard to argue with documentation and exploding pillows." I confessed. "There's still a part of me that thinks this is all mad."

"It's understandable. Wizards have always been very secretive about their existence, it's a wonder you know about them at all." He mused.

"Mmm." I mumbled quietly as I finished stirring the eggs.

"So are you going to explain what you're doing?"

"It's common sense, Harry." I said patiently as I went to grab a plate. "Just watch what I'm doing and you should remember."

He remained quiet after that. I finished his breakfast quickly and stepped back, looking at him expectantly. He caught my eye and nodded. "Okay, one question."

"Yes?"

"How do you work that thing?" He pointed to the stove behind me.

"You turn the knob to the appropriate temperature and cook on the corresponding panel. You see how this knob is turned to medium-high? Its corresponding panel is the one the eggs are on."

He nodded. "Okay. So it's like a heating charm?"

"Sure." I said carefully. It sounded right enough. "The toaster is similar. You just put a piece of bread into it, turn the knob to how you want your toast, and wait for it to resurface."

"Wait, what do you mean by-"

The toaster chose then to pop out his toast. I smiled slightly and saw comprehension dwell on his face. I grabbed the toast and put it on the plate next to the eggs.

"Oh, you meant it literally."

"Of course."

He smiled and took the plate out of my hands. "Thank you, Hermione. I promise I won't bother you about breakfast again."

"It's fine. We have ten minutes before we have to leave anyway."

I walked back to the table before he could respond and picked up my toast, finishing it off with a few bites. Harry just stood there and inhaled his eggs like it was the first meal he'd had in weeks. I shook my head absentmindedly and took my plate to the sink to rinse off. Harry was close behind me with his now empty plate. I looked at him in shock and he gave me an innocent look.

"It was delicious."

"Erm, thanks."

I took the plate from him and rinsed it off. It amazes me how quickly males can digest food without getting sick. There must be something inside their stomachs that acts as an impromptu black hole, engulfing the food to make room for ten times more than humanly possible.

I turned to the clock and then to Harry. "We should get going."

"I thought you said we had ten minutes?"

"Yes, well, I like to be early."

"Whatever you say."

I grabbed my bag and keys from the island and looked behind my shoulder to make sure that Harry was behind me. It only occurred to me then that he was still in his pajamas. He was giving me a lopsided grin and I sighed, putting my bag back down.

"Hurry up and get dressed, then."

He bustled out of the kitchen and I ground my teeth together in annoyance. It was going to be odd, having another person living under the same roof. I was so used to leaving when I was ready and now I had a new stranger to lug around. Well, according to that document my mum pulled out last night, he wasn't exactly a stranger. Gods, I couldn't even think of him as my fiancé without giving myself a headache, much less a wizard who had no idea how to cook over a hot stove. Part of me, like I voiced before, still thought this was all madness and part of some ploy to get me to be more trusting or something equally as ridiculous. But what he did with that throw pillow was hard to explain. If this was all an act, it was a damn good one.

My parents would never do anything to harm me, and that includes lying. They had tried to throw this whole wizard thing on me before, but my brain always shut down whenever they tried. Science was right, everything they were saying was not, and that is how it has always been-how I had been raised believing. If all of this was real, why were they telling me it now? Their association with the Order of the Phoenix, Harry my fiancé, and everything that follows was something short of a miracle to believe even a little bit. If it was really for my protection, wouldn't I be better off knowing what I was against? Harry wasn't taken away to a non-magical neighborhood and raised without magic, so why was I?

So many questions without answers it made me sick. I think the only reason I'm not pulling my hair out in anguish is the prospect that they will all be answered in time. But first, I need to get rid of every doubt in my mind that magic is real. I want to believe it so, contrary to what my parents and Harry think. But with a logical mind like mine, it's very difficult to do so. I need proof that I can perform magic before Harry teaches me anything else. I need him to prove that he is trustworthy enough to believe that he really is magical. Hopefully our trip to the wand shop this weekend will put at least a few of these things into perspective so we can move on.

"Ready to go?" Harry's voice pulled me out of my revere.

"Yeah." I said, picking up my bag and keys once more and heading out towards my car. Harry was a few feet behind me but I heard him stop when we came into view of the vehicle that would be transporting us to school that day.

"Holy shit."

I turned back to him and saw his mouth open practically to the pavement. "Have you ever seen a car?"

"Well, yeah, my friend's dad enchanted one to fly once but never one like this."

I smiled in triumph. "Yes, it is quite a beauty isn't it?"

"We're going to school in this thing?"

"Well yeah."

"You can drive this thing?"

"That would explain the keys in my hand."

"Holy. Shit."

"Harry, close your mouth and get in the car."

"It's not even a car. It's more like a miniature dragon."

"Whatever. Just get in."

He obeyed and followed me towards the car, getting in the passenger side while I put my bag in the backseat. When I got back to the steering wheel, Harry was busy studying the interior of my car with wide eyes, almost like a kid in a candy store. I looked at him amusedly before turning the keys in the ignition and starting the car. That was enough to startle him and focus his attention on the cause of the rumbling noise.

"It is a dragon."

"No, Harry, it's not. It's a Jeep."

I shifted the gear to reverse and backed us out of the driveway and onto the street. In no time at all, we were traveling on the road and Harry was looking as though he was in a whole other world. I tried not to look over at him too much, but his expressions were just priceless. I figured we needed conversation, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"When I told you to get ready, I meant all of you."

He craned his neck to face me. "What do you mean?"

"Your hair, it's all askew. Didn't you brush it?"

He chuckled. "Nope, I didn't even attempt to tame this mop. It never listens to me."

"It must be a pain."

"Not really." He said, brushing his bangs out of his eyes with one hand. "I've gotten used to it over the years. Besides, most birds find it attractive. Makes it look like I just got done flying. Some guys spend hours trying to get their hair like this. Sure, it's a pain, but it's worth it."

"Ah." I said, nodding. We arrived at a stoplight and I turned to look at him. He was still fiddling with his hair. I could tell that he only half meant what he had just said. If he really thought it was worth it then he wouldn't be trying to change it. I had quite the untamable mane myself, so I knew these things. As he was messing around with his ebony locks, I saw a slight discoloration on his forehead that I hadn't noticed before.

"What's that on your forehead?" I asked curiously.

His hand immediately froze in midair and he twisted his neck again to look at me. "You mean my scar?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It looks kind of like a… a lightning bolt."

The side of his lip curved only just. "I got it when I was a baby, the night my parents were murdered."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up."

"It's fine." He said breezily. "I'm more accustomed to people recognizing me by my scar, actually. If it took you this long to notice it, you're alright in my book."

"And why is that?"

"You've been looking me in the eyes rather than the mark on my head."

"Why would I look at your forehead when I talked to you?"

He sighed. "Some people only see the fame and… oh. I forgot. You don't even know who I am, do you?"

"Yes I do." I protested. "You're Harry Potter, a wizard and my long-lost fiancé."

He chuckled deep in his throat. "I'm much more than that, Hermione."

"What do you-?" I heard a car horn behind me and looked up to see the light was green. I reacted accordingly and leaned my foot on the gas. I wonder how long it's been green, I thought to myself.

The school was only a few blocks away and we reached it in silence. I pulled up to my parking space and shut down the car, reaching behind me to grab my bag. Before I opened my door to get out, though, I turned back to Harry.

"What did you mean back at the light?"

"I'll tell you later." He said carefully. Seeing my reproachful look, he continued with a much needed "I promise."

His words were enough for me. I opened the door and saw that he did the same. Locking the car behind us, we walked side-by-side into the school. Since we had first period (and every other one…) together, we never separated as we made our way to Mr. Cain's classroom. It was vacant, of course, but I set my stuff down regardless. It wasn't the first time I was the first to class.

"So is this how it is every day?" Harry asked from behind me. "You, alone in the classroom?"

"No. Kat usually shows up a few minutes after I do."

"Kat… is that the girl you were sitting at lunch with yesterday?"

"Yes. She's my best friend."

"Ah."

There was something in his eyes that seemed off. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He lied.

I took a few steps closer to him and studied his face. It came to me after a few moments. "You miss your friends back home, don't you?"

He looked surprised for a moment, but it quickly faded as he nodded slightly. "Yeah, I do."

"What're their names?"

"Well, I have two best friends, Ginny and Ron Weasley. They're siblings, one year apart with Ron being the elder of the two."

I smiled fondly. "Are you close?"

"Very. We've known each other since I can remember. Their parents and some of their older siblings are part of the Order."

"Wow. So it's like a family business."

He chuckled. "Sort of, sure. It's kind of had to refute such an honor, though, when you're one of seven."

"Seven?"

"Yup, seven Weasley children and one grandchild on the way courtesy of Bill and his wife Fleur."

"That's so sweet. I would love to have a big family like that one day."

"Really?" He asked.

"Sure. Not with seven children, though. I think I would go mad. I would be perfectly content with four."

"Same here." He agreed, sitting on the desktop. "To be perfectly honest, though, I just want to be a dad someday."

I mimicked his position on the desk in front of his. "You don't hear that a lot from guys nowadays. They're all about sex and no commitment."

"I'm all for that now." He said cheekily. "But in the future, it would be nice to have a nice family to come home to. For now, being a seventeen year old boy with needs will suffice."

I snorted. "Pig."

He shrugged. "I'm used to it."

I giggled a bit into the palm of my hand.

"Hermione?" A high-pitched voice asked from behind Harry.

I looked over Harry's shoulder to see Kat with a flabbergasted look on her smooth features. I realized what this must look like to her. Just yesterday I was complaining about having this guy staring at me and now I was in an animated conversation with him about families. It must have been like a scene out of the Twilight Zone for her.

"Hey Kat." I greeted as merrily as I could. "You've met Harry."

"Not formally." Harry corrected. He turned to face Kat. "Hello Kat."

"Um, hi." She said nervously. "Hermione, can I talk to you for a second?"

"What about?"

"I'm sure you know what about."

I bit my lip and nodded, looking at Harry for a brief moment. "Excuse us."

"Certainly." He said with a slight bob of his head.

I slid off the desk and followed Kat out into the slightly crowded hallway. She led me to a few steps past the door and leaned against the wall. I stepped in front of her and crossed my arms about my chest, mentally preparing myself for the slew of questions she was going to throw my way.

"What the hell." She said in a hushed tone. "Yesterday you were weirded out beyond belief of this guy and now you're talking to him as though he's your best friend."

"I can explain."

"No need. I know exactly what's going on here."

"You do?" I asked in confusion.

"Of course." She said with a smile. "You finally saw the light and are going for it! I knew you had it in you."

"What are you-oh. Oh. No, that's not it at all." I said quickly. "He's just, erm, how can I put this… an old family friend. Yeah. My parents knew his parents and I guess we were really close when we were younger."

"Really?" She asked, looking unconvinced.

"Oh yeah. Practically married."

Oh, irony.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why did you act so weird about him yesterday, then?"

"Well, I didn't know then." I explained smoothly. "He showed up at my house after school and him and my parents explained the whole thing. Apparently his uncle wanted him to experience a real school and sent him over here to do it."

I was quite surprised that I came up with that in two seconds.

"What do you mean by 'real school'?"

Crap. "Oh, he was, erm, homeschooled. Yeah, that's it. Homeschooled."

"And you said his uncle sent him here?"

"Yeah."

"What about his parents?"

"They were mur-they passed away when he was a baby."

That little fact seemed to catch her off guard enough to discard my horrible lying. "Oh the poor thing."

I nodded. "And now he's here."

"Is he staying at a hotel or something? Oh that would be so sad! I could ask my parents if he could stay over…"

"That won't be necessary." I interrupted before she could get any more crazy ideas. "My parents set up the flat above the garage for him to live in for the school year."

"He's living in your house?" She asked in awe.

"Erm, yes?"

"Oh Herm, you're so lucky, having him live under the same roof as you! All of that hotness within sprinting distance must be so exciting."

"Yeah, it's a real thrill." I said dryly. "Just please don't be too overbearing. He's still new here and isn't very familiar to our… customs."

"Is home school really that different than here?" She asked.

"I guess."

She grinned. "No problem. Call me Miss Sensitivity."

"Thank you, Kat."

With that, the two of us returned to the classroom to see Harry sitting at the same spot and looking down at something. Not wanting to give him a heart attack, I put more weight into my steps to alert him of our presence in the room. It worked like a charm. He looked over his shoulder and gave me a shy smile.

"So, what did you girls talk about?"

"Nothing important." I said casually.

I could tell he didn't believe me, but he let it be. I took up my original seat and motioned for Kat to join us. She seemed more than happy to sit down on the desk parallel to mine and look directly at Harry. He smiled politely at her and I had to suppress a laugh. Now that I was on speaking terms with Harry, she would take any opportunity she could to get him into her arms. It's just the way Kat was. It also explained why I hadn't had a boyfriend for five years and could never hang onto male friends.

"So Harry, where are you from?" She asked in that high-pitched voice she saved for flirting. Oh jeeze.

"Well I grew up in northwestern London with my godfather near Kings Cross." He answered carefully, trying not to say anything that may sound suspicious.

"So you really didn't have to come far, eh?"

"It seems farther."

"I can only imagine. I moved here when I was six from Bristol with my mum after my parents' divorce."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

She waved it off. "He was a drunk anyway."

I squirmed a bit in my seat and Harry caught my eye. I shot him a smile but a tuft of platinum hair caught my attention before either of us could speak. I waved at Drake to join our conversation, thinking that it would be better to have someone to distract me from Kat's ridiculous flirting techniques. He gave me a smile and started walking over to us. What happened next was very hard to explain, but I'll do my best.

Harry, seeing me wave Drake over, turned around to look behind him at the new addition. As soon as he laid eyes on Drake, he stopped moving and the two stared at each other for longer than two strangers ever have in the history of chivalry. I saw the muscles in Harry's back constrict with tension. Drake's demeanor changed as well; the hand that was gripping his bag's strap tightened to the point where the skin turned pale with strain. And all of this happened after one glance. Call me kooky, but something strange was definitely going on.

The moment passed after what seemed like hours. Drake lifted his eyes to mine and mumbled something under his breath before turning around and walking back out the door.

"Well that was odd." I said aloud.

"I think I should see what's wrong with him. Unless Hermione wants to check up on him?" She finished suggestively. I gave her a look. "No? Okay, I'll be right back."

She slid off her desk and pranced (and I mean that as literal as you can get) out of the room, her pleaded skirt lifting up just enough so that anyone could see the hem of her underwear. I looked after her and then turned my attention back to Harry. He was still looking out in the direction Kat went and I tapped his shoulder gingerly. He flinched and turned back to me.

"Are you al-?"

"How do you know that guy?" He interrupted.

I looked at him strangely for a second before answering. "Um, he goes to our school? Oh, and I spent the summer with him at Tom's Café where we both had summer jobs."

"How long has he been here?"

"What do you mean?"

"When did he transfer here?"

I raised an eyebrow. "How did you know he transferred here?"

"Just answer the question, please." He sounded like he was practically begging.

"I think it was the middle of last year, right after Christmas holiday. He transferred from some fancy boarding school in Scotland. A real snooty place, apparently. Only had one teacher he got along with. Professor Sn-"

"Snape." Harry finished.

I felt a very weird sensation settle in my stomach. "How do you know that?"

He chuckled darkly. "Because that fancy boarding school he transferred from is Hogwarts."

"No." I said slowly. "No, he said it was Durmstrang."

"He wishes." He said with a snort. "What did you say his name was?"

"I didn't. It's Drake Malloy."

He laughed again.

"What is so funny? You can't honestly believe he's from Hogwarts?"

"Yes, I can." He said seriously. "Because his real name is Draco Malfoy and he's trying to make you fall in love with him."