Something Old and Something New
Alice would probably have slept in the next morning if it hadn't been for a considerably more cheerful Hermione shaking her awake, which really was rather inconsiderate of her considering how comfy her four poster bed was.
"Alright I'm up," she yelled sitting up after Hermione had grabbed her shoulder for the fourth time.
"Good, because it's the first day of term and we really shouldn't be late." None of Hermione's enthusiasm dimmed as Alice scowled blearily at her before rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"There should be laws against cheerful people first thing in the morning."
Her friend stuck out her tongue as she began to attack her untameable hair with a heavy wire brush. "I've decided that you're right," she continued as though she hadn't heard Alice's grumblings, "I'm not going to fight with the boys, what they did was stupid and I'm sure they will be justly punished. I'll be the embodiment of civility," Alice's eyebrows disappeared under her fringe at this. "After all we're all friends." Alice wasn't sure if she imagined the stress Hermione placed on this last word, but considering the last thing she had said to her the previous evening she doubted it. Clearly the brightest girl in the year was in denial.
As they entered the Great Hall it wasn't long before Alice discovered the real reason behind Hermione's enthusiasm. No sooner had they crossed the threshold than she found her forearm gripped painfully by her best friend as glancing over at her she saw her cheeks were slightly flushed and she had a slightly feverish look in her eyes that only ever really cropped up around books.
"What is it?" She looked around the Hall in bewilderment to see what exactly had made her friend react so strongly, but all she could see was a swarming mass of students converging ravenously on the breakfast tables and the early morning sun of the enchanted ceiling beaming down on their heads.
"What? Oh…erm, nothing." If possible the colour in Hermione's cheeks deepened further. "Nothing… it's just I think it's really brilliant that Dumbledore's managed to get such a proficient teacher for us this year, we'll be able to learn ever such a lot in Defence Against the Dark Arts. From someone who's really had experience in the field too." Her attempt at nonchalance was painfully transparent. Scanning the very far end of the Hall for a second time she eventually caught sight of the object of Hermione's attention. Sitting at the teachers table, his overly coifed hair gleaming almost as much as the ceiling, was a figure she recognised from the wizarding photographs of him adorning every single book she'd been forced to buy for his subject that year.
"What Lockhart?" She looked incredulously at Hermione, she seemed slightly flustered and Hermione never got flustered by anything.
"Of course Lockhart, who else did you think I meant? Snape?"
"He wishes," Alice whispered under her breath as she eased Hermione's hold on her arm and steered her towards food. "Come on, let's find the boys."
True to her word Hermione behaved angelically towards them, her mood no doubt considerably improved by the presence of a teacher she clearly venerated, but truth be told her behaviour was bordering on the over perfect. Her smile that bit too fixed and her voice a tad strained as she breezily informed them that she didn't mind their actions of the previous day at all; much to their evident bemusement.
"So what did happen yesterday anyway?" Alice asked them between mouthfuls of porridge as she waved at Neville who had just sat down next to Ron on the opposite side of the table.
"Well it was really weird," Harry leant forward eagerly to take up the story, "everyone else has gone through the barrier but when we tried we just bounced right off it as though it had stopped working."
"But that's impossible," Hermione interjected, all thoughts of Lockhart temporarily driven from her head in light of this fresh mystery, "the magic that controls that gate is really old and powerful, the most learned wizards of the 19th century hid that gate from muggles and I doubt any wizard who was actually powerful enough to affect it would want to bother with a train station gate just to stop you two getting to school. Hogwarts a History," she threw at Ron as he opened his mouth to ask what was by now becoming a very well versed question.
"Well whatever it was," he huffed, "we couldn't get through and we missed the train so we didn't have any choice but to take the car."
To everyone's surprise it was Neville who piped up, "you could have waited to see if anyone came back through."
"Exactly," Hermione latched onto this with gusto before either of the boys had an opportunity to defend themselves, "that would have been a much more sensible thing to do, but instead you go charging off and fly a car through the middle of London and expect no one to see you. I bet that was your idea," she looked accusingly at Ron all attempts at perfection clearly going out the window.
"I - well - I… the thing is," he spluttered ineffectually for several seconds as though caught off guard by her rapid change of mood. "The invisibility booster broke," he managed eventually.
"It wasn't all Ron's fault, I agreed to go too, we were both in the car," Harry defended his friend to which Hermione simply stared at him for several seconds then pursed her lips and turned to concentrate on her bacon.
"What do you suppose -" Alice's question was cut short by the arrival of the post owls and for the next few minutes she sat in cringing silence along with the rest of the Gryffindors listening to Mrs Weasley's irate Howler lambasting Ron for his foolhardiness.
"Well," Hermione sniffed once the tirade had died away, "I should think you probably deserved that." Ron seemed too stunned to argue.
"I wouldn't worry too much Ron," George called cheerfully down the table, "Mum sent us a Howler in second year too; we seem to be starting a family tradition. It'll be your turn next Ginny." Everyone turned to look at the petite first year sitting next to her brother and another even smaller boy in her class and she immediately flushed an unmistakable Weasley shade as Harry's gaze hit her and choked on an ill-timed spoonful of egg she had just attempted to swallow. As her older brother whacked her liberally on the back in an attempt to dislodge it Alice turned her curious eyes to his twin. "What did you get a Howler for?" They did stupid things every day; it must have been serious for their mother to react to it like that.
Fred grinned at her mischievously. "We switched half the portraits in the castle round, it meant no one could get into the common rooms because the passwords went with the portraits and no one could find them all day; it was hilarious," he reminisced, "you should have seen -" but what exactly she should have witnessed Alice never found out because Fred abruptly shut up with a wink as Professor McGonagall arrived at their end of the table and began handing out their class schedules.
"Oh no!" Ron looked even more nauseated than he had when the Howler was going off. "We have Potions first thing on a Monday morning; which sadist came up with that?"
"At least it's not a double," Harry commented scanning the rest of the sheet, "ugh, and look at Tuesdays, Potions before lunch and History of magic all afternoon, at least we'll be able to catch up on our sleep that day."
"I really wish you two would stop seeing History of Magic as a waste of time, I know Professor Binns is a bit dry in his manner, but the subject matter is important," Hermione interjected crossly.
Ron just rolled his eyes in response. "I'd bet a years supply of the Cannons Chronicle that nothing we ever learn in that class will come in useful."
"Come on," Alice ordered with unusual authority as she sensed another argument brewing, "we've got double Herbology first, let's get a move on."
As the five of them made their way across the grounds and down to the greenhouses Alice managed to coax a more positive account of his holidays from Neville; apparently his great-uncle Algie had taken him to the largest wizarding greenhouse in the country one weekend, and he was just recounting to them all how a fanged geranium had attempted to take a bite out of his uncle's walking stick when Harry stopped dead with a groan.
Hermione was instantly on the alert. "What's wrong? Harry, are you alright? Is something the matter?"
Alice however had spotted the problem straight away. "Run for it," she advised him with a grin, nodding in the direction of the greenhouse door so that the others would see what she had.
"Helpful, thanks." Harry scowled at the gleaming turquoise form of Gilderoy Lockhart as Hermione huffed indignantly at their combined responses.
"Honestly, I don't know why you should have that reaction to him. His outfit choices are perhaps a little garish and he's maybe a bit cheerful for some people's liking, but he's a really great wizard."
"If you say so," Ron prodded Harry in the back with a smirk to make him start moving again. "Bet you wish you'd taken the cloak with you, don't you?"
Harry just growled in response, a familiar uncomfortable look creeping over his face. As amusing as they all found his discomfiture however, Alice had to feel sorry for him when the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor pulled him aside, whilst the rest of them trooped into Greenhouse Three after the other Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. Five minutes later he sidled in after them, his face a suitable Gryffindor red and tried to blend in unobtrusively with the rest of the class as they donned some rather fetching sets of earmuffs and proceeded to try and re-pot Mandrakes. They were supposed to work four to a tray which meant that someone would be left out; Alice was just about to offer to move to a different group with Neville when a neighbouring group of Hufflepuff boys, including one she vaguely remembered from a conversation once in the library was called Justin, invited him to join them.
"So what did Lockhart want then?" Ron asked in a stage whisper as the four remaining Gryffindors gathered around their tray, but Harry didn't have a chance to put them through it as at that moment Professor Sprout ordered the earmuffs back on and they spent the rest of the lesson hauling diligently at the stubborn mandrakes. It wasn't until they were seated in the Transfiguration classroom, their stomachs beginning to rumble at the not too far off prospect of lunch, that he was able to fill them in.
"The man's off his head," Ron muttered once he had finished, "a few people have heard of you? Honestly, he's so self -" He stopped as he spotted Hermione glaring at him menacingly.
"Maybe he's just gotten the wrong impression of Harry; perhaps he thought that having been famous all his life he would be big headed, but once he gets to know him he'll see that he's not at all."
"Like Lockhart you mean?" Ron muttered so that only Alice, who was sitting next to him, could hear and she gently kicked him under the desk in admonition. By the end of the lesson she was beginning to regret her choice of seating arrangements however as Ron's wand clearly had not faired well from its run in with the Whomping Willow. Several times it gave her a shock - rather like static electricity - when it came in contact with her hand or arm in the process of Ron's wild flourishing which was a by-product of his desperate attempts to make it yield results. The most he managed to achieve from the class however was a squashed beetle and a bad mood at the sight of the perfect buttons Hermione and Alice managed to turn theirs into.
It was Harry Alice felt most sorry for by the end of the day however, as after being accosted by an over eager first year wanting to take his picture and the resultant scene Malfoy only too gleefully caused when he discovered the fact. The only reason the situation wasn't compounded by Lockhart's intervention was because Alice had spotted him approaching along the walkway at the side of the courtyard they were in and summoned up all her courage to head him off before he noticed Harry again.
"Professor could I ask you something?" Her voice came out as a squeak as she tried to force her legs to stay perfectly still and not quake slightly with the trepidation she felt. "I was just wondering about something you wrote in Holidays with Hags," the words tumbled out of her mouth almost as fast as she was making them up off the top of her head.
"Ah yes, a particular favourite of mine that incident was you see I was actually searching for a Peruvian Vipertooth when I happened to stop off for a few days respite in Lima and I encountered…" he continued to drone on in this fashion for so long that in the end Alice didn't have to invent some half-baked question on the issue of Hags, which was probably just as well because her brain always seemed to jam when she was put on the spot like that. He took so long to explain exactly how he had valiantly saved a school full of children, with much posturing and heroic gesturing along the way, that the lunch break ended and Alice ended up having to walk all the way to Defence Against the Dark Arts with him, much to the amusement of the twins and Lee Jordan who passed them going in the opposite direction on the marble staircase.
"Thanks for that," Harry leaned forwards and whispered in her ear as she slipped into the free seat next to Hermione and Lockhart immediately launched into his self-introduction. If Alice had hoped his teaching style would be any better than his personality she was to be sorely disappointed. Not only did he present the class with the most ludicrous and egotistical quiz she had ever seen, but he then proceeded to unleash a cage full of vexed and frustrated Cornish Pixies and then abandoned them to the care of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Alice and poor Neville who was still swinging forlornly from the candelabra.
"Of course he missed out question fifty-five," Ron was saying that night in the common room, "on a scale of one to ten how big a git is Gilderoy Lockhart?" He gave Alice and Harry an exaggerated thumbs up, as they both burst out laughing, and did a passable impression of Lockhart's beaming smile and ridiculous toss of the head which Alice could only assume was meant to show his overly blonde curls off to their greatest effect. Hermione however was not amused and seemed determined to ignore the teacher's faults.
"Don't be an idiot Ron, he just wanted us to get inside his head and understand the state of mind you need to have to fight all the terrible creatures he has."
"I don't need a quiz to tell me what state of mind he has," Ron was clearly enjoying goading her as usual, "empty, that's what state it is."
Alice snorted with suppressed laughter and pretended to be concentrating on the Transfiguration homework McGonagall had set them that day so that her friend wouldn't notice. Much as she loved Hermione she couldn't fathom what she saw in their bumbling Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. The man was useless; an afternoon in his class had been enough to demonstrate as much, there was absolutely no way someone who was self obsessed enough to hand out quizzes about his favourite colour and couldn't even control Cornish Pixies had done all the things he claimed in his books. She couldn't understand why Hermione didn't see that.
Ron continued to successfully irritate an increasingly indignant Hermione for the next few minutes, as Harry tried ineffectually to reconcile the two, before she stomped off in the direction of the staircase her bushy hair practically bristling with fury as she went.
"You really shouldn't wind her up so much," Alice admonished as she watched her go, "she'll realise he's an idiot eventually." This last was said with more hope than conviction.
The redhead just sniggered in response. "She's got a crush on him, I've seen her timetable; all his lessons are outlined in little hearts."
Harry, who like Alice had had his head bent over his Transfiguration books, looked up so fast that she was surprised she didn't hear his neck click. "What?!"
Oblivious to the consternation in his friend's eyes Ron continued with a grin. "Yeah, every single lesson. It's sad really, she'll need to go to St Mungo's and get her head examined before long."
Harry said nothing and merely returned his attention to his parchment, but much to Alice's amusement his cheeks were flushed a shade which could rival Ron's at his most embarrassed and occasionally his eyes would flick almost casually in the direction of the dormitories. Clearly Hermione wasn't the only one developing feelings for people this year, when she wasn't fixating on a certain ineffectual teacher that is. It was a situation she would certainly have to observe and put some thought to, but right now she really should concentrate on the Transfiguration definitions for Friday.
The second day of term managed to be much less eventful than their first had been; the worst they had to contend with was Snape being his usual irascible self all afternoon in Potions whilst they tried to establish exactly the correct way to mix a Calming Draught and consequently all ended up in need of one by dinner time.
"Well I suppose it's nice to know that some things never change isn't it?" Harry asked wryly as they all sat down to eat.
"I thought he might be a bit nicer after what happened last year," Hermione mused as she tucked into a quantity of beef casserole and broccoli.
"Snape doesn't know how to be nice, it'd kill him."
"Ron," Alice coughed once she had managed to swallow the mouthful of Yorkshire pudding she had taken, "please don't make me laugh when I'm eating." She looked back at Harry and Hermione, "he's right though, there's no need for Snape to protect Harry this year so he doesn't need to have anything more to do with us than is strictly necessary. If anything he'll probably be even worse to make up for his temporary loss of sanity last year."
They all turned back to their respective suppers hungrily and it was several moments before Ron broke the silence again with a smirk. "Never mind though, if we ever get into strife this year it'll be a comfort to know that Lockhart's here to rescue us." Harry threw a chip at him.
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