On Breaking Half a Dozen School Rules
"Their password is what?!" Hermione was outraged. "How can they possibly get away with that? I thought the teachers set the passwords? How can Dumbledore allow that?"
"So much for his precious school unity," Ron agreed in disgust.
"At least it's one they'll all remember I suppose," Alice's joke sounded feeble even to her own ears.
Harry however was all business. "So anyway, now that we know how to get in, how are we going to do this? I reckon just one or two of us should go in, that way we're less likely to be caught and we'll have more mobility."
"So who's going in then?"
"Well…" Harry looked at each of his friends in turn. "I'll go." It wasn't a question, merely a simple statement of fact.
"Then I'm going with you," Hermione flushed but stuck out her chin stubbornly when he looked up at her sharply. "Someone needs to make sure you keep yourself out of trouble."
"Then I suppose I better make sure this one doesn't blow himself up with that thing," Alice nodded towards Ron's broken wand which had been emitting a grating, high-pitched whine all evening. "We'll keep watch."
"How?"
"I'm sure there must be a secret passage or something nearby that we can hide in. We can ask the twins when we talk to them about the diversion. I'm sure they'll know."
"Ok," Harry grinned excitedly, "that's that settled then." Alice grinned back at him.
"You know," Ron observed, "you two look freakishly similar when you do that… or just freakish really - ouch!" He raised his arms to shield himself from the cushions they both threw at him.
It was a few days before any of them managed to catch the twins without anyone else around so that they could broach the subject of creating a diversion. However as they were leaving their Charms classroom the following Thursday and suffering yet another of Ron's enthusiastic musings about what would be for lunch Hermione spotted them.
"Look! Wasn't that the twins?"
"Where?"
"Over there disappearing behind that statue of the humpbacked witch."
"Probably… Oi Fred, George!" Alice flushed as the pupils closest to her turned to stare. Her efforts were rewarded however when first one and then a second red head popped out from behind the statue and searched guiltily around the corridor for whomever had shouted.
"What are you two doing round here?" Hermione cast a curious eye over the statue once they had approached them.
"Well Hermione dearest, that would be telling," Alice noted their guilty looks had disappeared almost as quickly as the sack Fred was now concealing under his robes. Her curiosity piqued she attempted to surreptitiously spot any other evidence of their misdeeds, but without success.
"And you know, curiosity killed the cat," Fred quoted with an innocent expression as he spotted what she was doing.
"And we wouldn't want to be accused of cruelty to animals."
"Yes but satisfaction brought it back," Alice smiled sweetly as Fred threw her a dirty look.
"Shut it midget," George stuck out his tongue at her as Harry and Ron tried to conceal their grins. "So what do you lot want anyway?"
"Well we have a small favour that needs doing," Harry began, "which we thought would be right up your street." As Harry began explaining what he wanted them to do Alice watched as identical toothy grins spread across two faces which were alike down to the last freckle. The mischievous glint in George's eye and the slight upward twitch of Fred's mouth told her they were sold on the idea the minute they heard it, but being the consummate professionals they pretended to stall.
"So what are you four going to be doing whilst we're creating madness and mayhem?"
"Which of course we will do brilliantly."
Harry gazed levelly at them for a moment as though considering how much to tell them; he looked so serious in comparison to the twins' gleeful faces that it was almost comical.
"We've got a little business related to Malfoy which needs taking care of. Hopefully you'll keep everyone in the Great Hall, including him, distracted enough so we can do it."
"Malfoy you say? I don't know, what do you think Fred?" He turned to his brother as Ron rolled his eyes impatiently at their antics. Alice had to suppress another grin.
"Well it sounds risky George. We might get caught after all."
"Count us in," they laughed in unison.
For the next few days the four of them remained on tenterhooks as they waited for Fred and George to ready their side of the plan. They talked of little else but the Chamber, the identity of the heir (over which they were still split) and what exactly they were going to do once they were inside the Slytherin common room. Then exactly a week after their conversation in the Charms corridor the twins stopped them after breakfast to tell them everything was in place.
"We thought we'd make dinner interesting tonight." George feigned nonchalance as he and Fred walked past them with a wink.
"For goodness sake," Hermione tutted loudly once they'd gone. "They make everything so cloak and dagger; you'd think we were in a spy movie. They're not James Bond." Harry and Alice laughed as Ron looked confused.
That night at dinner Harry could barely contain himself, the excitement seemed to shine out of him to such a degree that Alice began to worry that anyone taking any notice of them would be bound to know what they were planning. Ron was rather geared up about the whole plan too, but not to such an extent that it put him off his food, Alice didn't think anything could do that as she watched him scooping potatoes from his plate. On the other hand Hermione kept checking her watch nervously and glancing along the table to where Fred and George were sitting laughing and joking with their friends and looking as though nothing untoward was about to happen. How deceiving looks could be.
Just as the first course was getting well under way there was a deafening bang from behind the teachers table as a shower of purple and gold sparks seemed to rain down from the enchanted ceiling and stopped momentarily ten feet from the ground before vanishing as quickly as they had appeared. Half the room jumped and several girls, Lavender and her friends amongst them squealed in fright as every eye snapped to the commotion. As several more explosions followed in quick succession Alice and her friends took the opportunity to slip quietly unnoticed from the Great Hall - having taken care to sit as near to the doorway as possible - before anyone noticed they were gone. With a final glance back Alice witnessed a spectacular shower of silver sparks that somehow seemed to curl themselves into a waterfall and she had to tear her eyes away before she became too distracted herself. Really it was impressive what Fred and George could do when they put their minds to it. Not that she would mention that to them.
"Hurry up Alice," Hermione hissed as they darted across the Entrance Hall.
"I'm coming!" They sped down into the dungeons conscious of the fact that they wouldn't have very long before the diversion ended and people began returning to their common room. Once they had located the correct damp patch - and being in the dungeon corridors this was no small feat - Harry pulled the Invisibility Cloak out from under his own robes and wrapped it around Hermione and his' shoulders. It had been decided that the two of them were to try and hunt for clues in Malfoy's possessions whilst Ron and Alice would wait outside to make sure he didn't come back, and to detain him if he did.
"Maybe," Harry cast a wary eye over Ron as he and Alice took out their wands, "maybe you should leave the spells to Alice… just in case…"
Looking with frustrated resignation between his battered wand and Harry's disembodied head Ron grumbled what could only have been an acquiescence and gingerly returned it to his pocket.
"Good luck," Alice whispered as her friends disappeared completely and she put a comforting arm around Ron to steer him quickly in the direction of a conveniently placed portrait - one of the few in these gloomy passages - which the twins had helpfully informed them concealed a small alcove. As she pushed the painting aside, ignoring its gently snoring occupant, and climbed into the tight space behind, she heard the grinding of the stone doorway and the sounds of gently receding footsteps. Once Ron had squeezed in after her they took up position looking through the gaps between either side of the portrait and the wall and settled down to wait.
It wasn't more than a few minutes though before Ron began complaining. "Why is everything down here so cold and damp? My knees are soaked through!"
"Because we're practically at the level of the lake down here, now shush," she hissed back.
Several more minutes passed during which Alice remained alert for the slightest sound that would indicate either the return of her friends or someone altogether more unwelcome. Whenever a torch popped loudly as it burned or distant shout echoed along the corridor her heart jumped into her throat; it felt like an age since Harry and Hermione had disappeared.
"I don't think I can feel my legs anymore, it's so cramped in here."
"If you can't feel your legs then at least they won't feel cold anymore," Alice deadpanned trying hard not to smile.
"That's not funn-" He grabbed her arm as she twisted round to look at him. "Someone's coming!"
The two of them held their breath as they listened to the reverberating echoes of a single set of footsteps rapidly approaching their hiding place. Alice couldn't see the figure round the corner as she was facing the wrong direction, but she was close enough to hear Ron's worded exhalation.
"Malfoy!"
Within a second Alice had her eye glued to the gap in front of her waiting for interminable seconds for the Slytherin to pass the portrait and move towards the common room entrance. Eventually he came into view and she wasted no time in taking her chance the minute he paused.
"Petrificus Totalus," she breathed.
With a rush of air Malfoy was lifted from his feet and his frozen form crashed sideways into the wall before bouncing rather comically off and crashing to floor with an audible thud. Alice blinked in astonishment.
"I think you maybe overdid it a bit." Ron, who had twisted round to peer over her shoulder, was gawking with far too much amusement at the now clearly unconscious Malfoy.
"Woops," she looked down at her wand accusingly.
"He's going to be really annoyed when he wakes up. Pity we can't stay around to watch."
"Well hopefully he won't wake up before Harry and Hermione get back. How long will this take anyway? They've been in there for ages."
As if on cue the door to the Slytherin common room ground open again filling the corridor with the sound of running feet and flapping robes.
"Come on, quick!" Harry's disembodied voice sounded thick with excitement and she could just imagine the lopsided grin he would be wearing. Ducking quickly out from behind the portrait and casting one last look at Malfoy's prone form Alice and Ron slipped under the cloak.
"What happened to Malfoy?" Hermione was gazing at them wide-eyed.
"Alice." Ron looked positively triumphant.
"I -" Her friend seemed to have no response to this. "Never mind you can tell us later; we need to get out of here."
Getting out of the dungeons turned out to be much less complicated than getting in, whenever they forgot which passage they should be going down they just chose the one which was the warmest and had the most torches on the walls. Almost before they knew it - and with only one close run in with a group of Slytherins returning from dinner - they were back in the Entrance Hall, slipping off the Cloak when no one was looking, and hurrying back to their own common room. Harry and Hermione filled them in as they went, their tongues moving almost as quickly as their feet.
"You should see it, their common room is horrible. I wouldn't like ours to be like that. Everything's dark and green -"
"- and there's nothing comfy or cosy about it. They've just got these long posh sofas and there are snakes carved everywhere and it's all rather -"
"Hermione," Ron broke through her with a wry smirk, "can you just get to the point and tell us what you found?"
"Oh… Well, Malfoy isn't the Heir of Slytherin."
"Told you so," Alice crowed as Ron exclaimed in disbelief. "So if he's not why do you two look so pleased then?" she asked taking in their twin smiles and elated eyes.
"Because," Harry pulled a crumpled piece of parchment from his pocket with a flourish, "we found letters from his father."
"You stole his mail?!" Stopping dead outside the portrait of the Fat Lady Ron seemed in awe at their audacity.
"Don't be daft - Snapping Turtles," Harry gave the password and the portrait swung back allowing them to clamber inside, "Hermione did some complicated spell thingy and copied what the letter said onto this," he waved the paper again as Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Really if you paid attention in Charms it wouldn't seem that complicated," she muttered, but seeing Alice and Ron were dying to know what had happened she relented and smiled. "Harry, give them the parchment before they explode with curiosity."
He had barely moved to comply before Ron had practically torn it from his hands and was scrutinising it with avid interest. Alice quickly moved to read over his shoulder.
Son (it began)
Your Mother and I are pleased to hear of your progress in Potions, but you must be sure to remain top of the class. (Ron made a gagging noise as he read this, which earned him a dig in the ribs from Alice) Pertinent to your enquiry about your Great-Aunt -
"The important part is about halfway down the page," Harry cut in, clearly eager to share it with them. "Just hear," he indicated the appropriate paragraph.
- As for all these rumours regarding the issue of the Chamber, I wouldn't mention too much of what you know on the subject. It is not that I would fear association with the noble house of Slytherin, far from it, I just do not seek any unwanted attention from certain quarters to fall upon either you or myself. Eager though we both may be to see Hogwarts rid of Mudblood filth, I would point out to you that there are even greater plans afoot which I will say no more of at present. Suffice to say that it is important that you behave as normally as possible.
In answer to you recent questions all I shall tell you is that the Chamber was indeed opened once before around fifty or so years ago. That instance yielded more favourable results that it seems have yet to be replicated however it is my sincerest hope that we soon see a shift in the balance at Hogwarts. I need not remind you not to speak of this to anyone, but desist in asking me who the true heir is for that I will not reveal; certainly not in correspondence.
Do endeavour to maintain your grades in the run up to Christmas -
Alice stopped reading and looked up at Hermione and Harry with shining eyes as she waited for Ron to finish the paragraph.
"Well I think we can safely say that it's definitely not Malfoy then. ("Pity," Ron interjected,) But I think it's fairly obvious Lucius Malfoy knows a lot more about the situation."
"That's what I thought too. But the part I thought was really interesting was the bit after that. Why has no one ever mentioned that the Chamber was opened before? Why isn't it mentioned in Hogwarts A History?" She seemed almost scandalised that her most trusted source of information had let her down so badly.
"Maybe it was hushed up? Or maybe they couldn't connect whatever happened to the Chamber with any certainty?" It was a question Alice would have to ponder.
Harry, who had been listening to their conversation with avid interest, broke in at this point. "And then there's the bit where - what was it he said? That instance yielded more favourable results that it seems have yet to be replicated, do you think that means that muggleborns left the school? Or do you think it could mean something more sinister?"
"With the Malfoys' and Slytherins I wouldn't put anything past them."
"We're going to have to do some research." Hermione's face lit up.
If Hermione had had her way they would have been off to the Library at the crack of dawn to get some answers before their classes started. However their evening's adventures, coupled with a midnight Astronomy lesson, meant that neither Ron nor Harry was keen on getting up any earlier than they really had to no matter how many evil looks their bushy haired friend threw at them when they informed her of this. As it was they didn't manage to go at all the following day as they were cornered after dinner by Ron's brothers who were desperate to relate the intricate workings of their superb diversion to them. Given that they had done them a huge favour none of the second years felt they could really say no, with the result that it was the weekend before the topic came up again.
"Have you heard?" A disgusted looking Hermione came stomping into the common room as Alice, Harry and Ron sat debating the relative merits of various Quidditch teams. The three of them had been curled up in chairs by the window appreciating an unseasonal burst of sunshine from the relative warmth of indoors.
"Heard what?" Alice paused in the midst of a rather vociferous defence of the Kenmare Kestrels.
"Apparently," her best friend huffed, "Malfoy has been going about spreading the story that he was attacked by the Chamber Monster in the Slytherin corridor on Thursday after dinner and that he was only partially stunned because he's so wonderfully brilliant and managed to fight the beast off."
"What did he do? Irritate it till it left him alone?" Harry scoffed at the idea.
"Honestly the boy's delusional," Alice smirked as a thought occurred to her, "he really hasn't thought this through much has he? I mean why would the creature attack him in the first place? He's a Pureblood Slytherin after all. Twit."
"I wonder how long it took him to cook up that excuse?" Harry's contempt was evident in his voice.
"Anyway, what are you lot all doing in here when you should be in the library? We still need to find out what Lucius Malfoy was going on about in that letter." The tone of voice Hermione adopted as she said this was not unlike that often used by Professor McGonagall Alice mused.
"Oh but Hermione -" Whatever Ron had been about to say was silenced with a look and he grudgingly rose from his seat and shuffled after Harry and Alice who were already on their way to the portrait hole.
They made little headway that day however, much to Hermione's chagrin, or the following day or any of the days after that. Before they knew it December was upon them and still they had made no progress in discovering what Malfoy's father had been alluding to in his letter. Alice had trawled through copious piles of old Daily Prophets whilst Hermione and Harry searched every magical reference book they could think of that might give some clue either as to the monster's identity or what had happened fifty years ago. All of them drew a blank. Ron helped out occasionally, but the arrival of December meant that Christmas was nearly upon them and since he equated all festivities with increased opportunities to feed himself he was more than a little distracted.
"I wish Neville would come down to the Library once in a while," Alice opined one blustery afternoon halfway through the month which found the four of them once again holed up in the Library surrounded by mounds of books. Her friend had barely left the common room except to attend meals and classes since Colin had been attacked. He wasn't the only one who was moving about the castle as little as possible; for being the middle of winter, and therefore the time of year when most of the students were inside, the corridors were uncommonly quiet most of the time. If and when the monster would strike inevitably began the topic of discussion at dinner and there had even been a notice up the other day advertising a Duelling Club for the students. Naturally there had been a rush to sign up.
"Hmm…" Hermione stared absently out the window at the swirling flakes of snow being dashed against the glass by a mischievous gust of wind. The Library failing to yield any results on the issue seemed to have cast her into a gloom from which she refused to budge.
"He'd only worry if we told him what we were up to anyway," Harry, as ever, allayed her fears with his logic. "Don't lose too much sleep over it Alice, he'll be fine." He smiled comfortingly at her over the top of a particularly bulky tome.
"Yeah, if you're going to worry about anyone, worry about me," Ron whined loudly which earned him a sharp glance from Madam Pince. "If I have to read one more stupid book about twentieth century wizarding education I might expire!"
"Ugh this is useless!" Hermione thumped the book she had been reading shut and then promptly sneezed at the cloud of dust this propelled into the air. "We're never going to find anything."
Alice very nearly laughed at the incredulous looks the boys exchanged at this comment. Hermione giving up on finding an answer somewhere between the pages of a book was unheard of.
"We will eventually," Alice tried to be heartening, "if we just keep on looking then -"
"What are you lot doing closeted away in here?" Ginny, her robes covered with a fine layer of snow, plonked herself down in a free seat next to her brother. As she did so she deliberately avoided Harry's gaze.
"None of your business," Ron evidently couldn't be bothered with his sister at the moment. "What have you been doing outside anyway?"
It was the first time she'd seen Ginny looking sheepish speaking to anyone but Harry. "None of your business," she countered after a moment.
"Suit yourself," Ron grumbled making to stand and clear the books away.
Ginny seemed momentarily troubled at seeing them about to leave and it occurred to Alice that she might have wanted to speak to them about something in particular. Hermione beat her to asking though.
"Are you alright Ginny?"
"What, oh… yes. I was just… just going to ask if you're going to this Duelling Club tomorrow night?"
"We were thinking of going along."
Ron grimaced. "Lockhart and Snape are supposed to be taking it though; he's obviously recovered from making a prat of himself at dinner. We thought we'd go anyway. You never know it might be interesting."
A/N: Ron seems to be becoming something of a prophet! I like giving him lines like that if only so that he can kick himself later when his observations seem to come true. On a more mundane note the statue of the humpbacked witch is the same one that conceals the passage to Hogsmeade.
-->